Jonathan's Blog From The Source
Posted on: 06/18/12 4:42 PM | by Jonathan McKee
It’s so good to have my kids all in the house.
Alec is back from college and the girls are adjusting to having him around again. It’s been really fun overall, but I can’t say it’s been without incident. Yesterday we found this note from Ashley taped to the upstairs bathroom door:
Nice!
Isn’t it fun being a parent of three teenagers?
Posted in Family, Humor, Parenting, Personal | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 06/11/12 1:34 PM | by Jonathan McKee
Are today’s teenagers engaging in more risky behaviors than before?
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) actually produces a bi-annual report that looks for these answers, analyzing teenage risky behaviors like sexual activity, smoking, drinking, fighting, driving without seatbelts, etc. Last week their brand new report with 2011 numbers was released.
Want to know the bottom line?
Good luck. It really depends whose headlines you read. The CDC press release about the report is actually titled, U.S. High School Students Improve Motor Vehicle-related Health Behaviors. And sure enough, more kids are wearing seatbelts, less are drinking and driving, or riding with a driver who has been drinking. But are those the main risky behaviors teenagers are engaging in?
What risky behaviors concern you? Last night my daughter Alyssa began asking me random questions off a questionnaire on her Pinterest page, questions like: What are your 3 biggest fears? or What makes you happy? What started as just Alyssa and I, ended up being my entire family laying around the couch answering Alyssa’s questions. Ashley, my 14-year-old caught my attention with one of her answers to, “What makes you happy?” One of Ashley’s answers was, “When I’m doing something crazy!”
I was a little nervous until she started expanding on her answer, talking about more extreme sport type activities. I guess everyone has different definitions of “risky” or “crazy.”
3 Risky Behaviors:
When I read the report, I immediately was curious about three risky behaviors that I see affecting teenagers for the long-haul: marijuana use, drinking, and sexual activity. I’m not minimizing risky behaviors like bringing a weapon to school or even using hallucinogenic drugs. It’s just that in my 20 years of youth ministry, I’ve seen more pain, heartache and natural consequences from these three risky behaviors on mainstream teenagers than any others.
Here’s what this newest CDC report had to say about these three areas:
Sexual Activity:
Contrary to what the headlines have been saying the last six months, teenage sexual activity is up a notch.
Some of you might remember me bringing some headlines to your attention last October. In October the CDC released another report titled the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) report, revealing that only about 42% of American teenagers have had sex. Headlines immediately appeared claiming Young People Are Having Less Sex!
Is this true?
Unfortunately…not in the last decade.
Many of you probably remember a Youth Culture Window article I wrote titled, “Are Teenagers Really Having Less Sex?” In that article I cited other reports, including CDC’s past Youth Risk Behavior Reports, showing you a nice little chart revealing a decline from 1988 to 2001, then a “leveling off” since then. I told my co-workers. “Let’s wait until the new Youth Risk Behavior Report comes out from the CDC and we’ll see if teenage sexual activity is down.”
Well, the report came out last week, and the numbers aren’t down. The sexual activity headlines should basically be, “Almost Half of High School Students Having Sex.” Here’s a glimpse at these new numbers (the new 2012 report reveals 2011 numbers) compared to the last report two years ago (with 2009 numbers)
Download the entire report to see the breakdown of all grades, races and geographic locations for several different categories of sexual behaviors.
NOTE: The “confidence interval” that the CDC puts on this report is 95%. So these changes of 1% or so really aren’t statistically significant.
So basically, risky sexual behaviors haven’t really gone up or down. But hopefully the little bump up in numbers will at least silence the headlines that are claiming, “Teens are having less sex!” How come we don’t see a headline stating, 63% of teenagers will have sex by the time they walk across the stage to collect their high school diploma?
Marijuana Use:
Up a little more than a notch.
In short, the total amount of H.S. students who ever used marijuana in 2009 was 36.8%. The 2011 number is 39.9%. But that’s just the young people who have ever tried it even once. How about current users- a number that reveals who has had marijuana even 30 days before the survey, usually indicating regular use. In 2009 this number was 20.8% for all H.S. students. In 2011 current users were 23.1%.
Yes, according to this report, sadly, almost 1/4th of H.S. students are using marijuana regularly. Other reputable reports showed even higher numbers than this. Last month the Partnership at Drugfree.org released a report revealing that 27% of H.S. students are “past-month” users of marijuana.
So somewhere between 23 and 27 percent of high school students are regular users. This isn’t good news. (Will we see that press release?)
Drinking:
Down a notch.
Drinking numbers are always interesting. CDC tracks “ever drank alcohol,” “current alcohol user,” and “binge drinking.” I don’t even pay attention to the “ever drank alcohol” numbers. After all, many parents will let their kid try a sip of wine at a wedding. Does that mean that kid is engaging in risky behaviors? Not even close. It just means that they’re Presbyterian!
In 2009 a total of 41.8% of high school students were “current users” (had a drink in the 30 days before the survey). Interestingly enough, that was 42.9% of females compared to 40.8% of males. In 2011 the number of current users dropped to 38.7% of high school students, with the genders flip-flopping— 37.9% of females and 39.5% of males.
In 2009, 24.2% of high school students currently engaged in binge drinking (5 or more drinks within a couple of hours within at least 30 days before the survey). Males were higher than females. In 2011 the number of high school students’ binge drinking shrank to 21.9% (males still higher than females).
The drop in overall current users of alcohol is statistically insignificant, but the drop in female current users is noteworthy (5%). The drop in binge drinking is also notable (over 2%).
I’m glad to see these numbers down a notch, although it’s hard for me celebrate when 4 out of every 10 high school students is a current drinker, and 1 in 5 is a binge drinker.
Drinking is one of those risky behaviors that have dire consequences. One Rutgers study following 437 young women from high school graduation through their freshman year of college, found two scary truths:
I wonder if these girls think Katy Perry’s song, Last Friday Night is funny?
Drinking, Marijuana use and sexual activity are three behaviors that large percentages of our kids are engaging in… and they are facing the consequences.
What about you?
Are you talking with young people enough about decision making in these areas?
How can you engage young people in conversations, not lectures, about these areas?
Posted in Jonathan's Rant, Parenting, Sexuality, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 05/29/12 4:28 PM | by Jonathan McKee
The MTV Movie Awards airs this Sunday night, a television event that is always over-the-top raunchy and irreverent, chock full of every celeb imaginable, and consequently, sure to attract enough teens and tweens to make it one of the most watched television events of the year.
I always find it interesting what young people are watching on TV. This isn’t the easiest information to find. Sure, you can pop on Nielsen’s website at any time and see the most popular shows that everyone are watching (usually with a few weeks time lag), both broadcast and cable, but this doesn’t tell you what teenagers specifially are watching? (or even young people 12-34, which is MTV’s target audience).
Every week my Twitter followers see me Tweet the link to an obscure site that, on Fridays, lists the Top 10 Combined Broadcast/Basic Cable shows among different age groups according to Disney from Nielsen Media Research Data. I always scroll down and peek at their list of top shows watched by Teens 12-17-years-old. During the Jersey Shore season, guaranteed this vulgar reality show will always be the #1 show across all of television watched by teens (usually followed by Family Guy, American Idol and a few others). Shows like Jersey Shore and Teen Mom are helping MTV maintain status as the top network watched by younger viewers. Such has been the case for years now.
Enter the MTV Movie Awards, stage left.
The Movie Awards has never been the powerhouse that its sister show has, The Video Music Awards (VMAs). The VMA’s effortlessly clinches the spot each year as the #1 cable telecast of the entire year watched by 12-34-year-olds—it easily dominated in 2011 with the cross-dressing Gaga at the helm. In short, the VMA’s are the Super Bowl of cable. But the MTV Movie Awards draw a pretty large crowd as well, especially for a summer telecast.
Last year the MTV Movie Awards had a huge night, with record numbers, becoming #3 of the top 5 cable telecasts of 2Q 2011, driving record traffic to MTV.com, and dominating social conversation between Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter.
Sadly, this popular show always offers plenty of content that is racy and vile, elements that, if parents were to actually watch the show with their kids, would surely prompt them to hit the OFF button. For example, last year’s lesbian sex scene where Natalie Portman’s panties were literally ripped off (MTV has mastered the trick of “showing sexual content without actually showing nudity”), or the year prior when Christina Aguilera sang a song about her genitals and the camera pushed in for a close up of her crotch at the end of the performance (I’m really not making this stuff up).
Each year the show also features performances or appearances by plenty of role models who really shouldn’t be role models. For example, Russel Brand is hosting (I probably don’t need to say any more there). And the ubiquitously “high” Wiz Khalifa is scheduled to perform Sunday…that is, if he can keep himself out of jail long enough (Khalifa was busted twice within 10 days for marijuana earlier this month). This, of course, is brushed off as no big deal by many. I guess the news would be really discouraging if pot smoking among teenagers has gone up lately.
Hmmmmmm.
So parents… make sure that your TVs are not tuned into MTV this Sunday night. Youth workers, you may want to put your own kids to bed and take a quick peek at the show just to see what millions of young people are absorbing.
Or, better yet, if you don’t want to watch it, you can wait for my article about the evening. You can catch our summary of last year’s MTV Movie Awards here, an annual gift that David and I wrote for you each year… a gift because then you don’t have to watch it! I’ll be writing this year’s article Sunday night and posting it for you next Monday on our Youth Culture Window page.
It’s sad. I love movies, and there are plenty of good family films this summer. Too bad a show “about movies” on the network most watched by young people has to be marinated in fecal matter.
Posted in Entertainment Media, Jonathan's Rant, Movies, Music, Parenting, Sexuality, TV, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 05/24/12 12:33 PM | by Jonathan McKee
I’ve heard a lot of Christian celebrities talk about virginity…but never so candidly.
I really like this video. I don’t know much about Olympic athlete Lolo Jones. I don’t know if she has a faith, or about many of the decisions she’s made (she actually has done a few photo shoots that are a little edgy and risque’). But she makes it clear in this video that she wants to wait until marriage for sex, why she thinks that’s smart, and how incredibly difficult it’s been. Pretty cool! Lolo did a great job with this interview, demonstrating a nice balance of humor and transparency.
Last week I blogged about talking to teenagers about sex, and one of my readers, Roger Brown, commented, linking this article and video.
For more about talking to teenagers about sex, jump on our TRAINING TOOLS page on our youth ministry site and scroll down to Shhhhh! Don’t Talk About Sex! and Telling Teenagers the Explicit Truth About Sex.
Posted in Marriage, Parenting, Sexuality, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 05/13/12 1:46 PM | by Jonathan McKee
“How was your day?”
“Fine.”
“How was school?”
“Same as always.”
“Much homework?”
“Nope.”
“Anything exciting happen?”
“Naw.”
“Nice talking with you.”
Is it just me? Or do our kids have PhD’s in one-word answers?
I just got back from Southern California where I had the privilege of teaching the parenting track at the FAM Conference hosted by my friends Doug Fields and Jim Burns. On Saturday I launched a brand new training workshop titled “Get Your Teenagers Talking.” For those of you who weren’t able to make it to SoCal last week… I thought I’d give you a taste.
After giving parents a quick tour of today’s pop-youth-culture, I wanted to provide them some practical ways to dialogue with their kids. Here’s two of my “5 Tips to Get Your Teenagers Talking.”
1. Don’t Ask Dull Questions
Parents always complain to me that they can’t get their kids to talk with them, but often they don’t put any time into formulating the questions they ask.
Don’t ask dull questions like “How was school?” My daughter Alyssa told it to me straight one day. She said,
“Dad, stop asking me how school is day after day. School’s always the same. It sucks, it’s boring, and it seems like a waste of time. I could cram all 7 hours of what they teach me into about 90 minutes. So stop asking me the same question, you’re just gonna get the same answer.”
Wow. I guess I should give her credit for being honest!
So instead of asking something like “How was school?” How about asking something like this:
“If you could ditch all your classes tomorrow except one, which class would you choose to actually attend? Why?”
This question is much more attractive to a teenager. First, it hangs on the fun premise that they get to ditch school. At the same time, it forces them to salvage something tolerable about one of their classes.
“I’d probably go to English. Mr. Alves is actually pretty cool and we’re reading Huck Finn right now, which is actually pretty good.”
If we’re willing to put a little more thinking into our questions, we might get a little bit more from their responses. But creative questions aren’t the only tool in a parent’s belt. We can also…
2. Use Controversy.
If you want to talk to your kids about “parental guidelines” you could approach it one of two ways. You could say, “Hey kids, wanna talk about parental guidelines?” Be careful if they have fruit or muffins in their hands when you ask this, they are liable to throw them at you. Honestly, what kid is going to respond to that kind of proposal?
Instead, try this. “Hey kids, did you see the YouTube video where the redneck dad got so sick of his daughter’s disrespectful antics on Facebook that he pulled out his 45 and blew holes in her laptop?”
I tried that with my daughters and they both demanded to see the video immediately. After watching the video, I asked, “So do you think the dad was unfair?” It resulted in a 45-minute discussion about “parental guidelines.” (I blogged all about that and linked the video here.)
Wanna talk with your daughters about the pressures they’re gonna face at school dances? Again, you could try your luck asking them to sit down on the couch so you can discuss it… or you could rent the new version of Footloose, watch it together, and then ask some well placed questions about what you saw (My article about using that movie for discussion, and questions here).
Pop culture offers plenty of creative discussion starters through songs, movies and even newspaper articles. Just pop onto the front page of www.TheSource4Parents.com and glance in the box titled OFFSITE ARTICLES JONATHAN HAS READ THIS WEEK. I constantly am reading and linking articles about technology, celebrities, entertainment media, drugs and alcohol… all can be used as discussion springboards to get your teenagers talking.
What about you!
What are the best ways you’ve found to get your teenagers talking?
Posted in Parenting | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 05/4/12 11:42 AM | by Jonathan McKee
This week my son came home from his first year of college. We had told him that we’d do something special, so yesterday afternoon I looked at him and his two sisters and asked, “How’d you guys like to go see the midnight premier of The Avengers?”
All three were thrilled. Luckily, the girls are both in the middle of some state testing right now at their schools and didn’t have to be at school til 10ish this morning. So the timing was perfect.
I’ve taken my kids (14, 16, and 18) to one midnight premier before, Rise of the Planet of the Apes. The crowds are always fun at these midnight showings; nerds in costumes, dire-hard fans, a ton of energy, so my kids were really looking forward to it. This time we were able to convince Lori to go with us, so that was a bonus (She’s not big on staying up after midnight… but we twisted her arm). We were pretty sure that we would be the only “family of five” in the theater.
We Fandango’d the tickets to reserve a spot, then we showed up only 90 minutes early (which isn’t very early for a premier like this), hoping to find that delicate balance of not waiting forever in a line, but also being early enough to find decent seats. Those who follow me on Twitter saw that they had just let everyone into the theater at 10:30. We were able to grab some of the stadium seats a few rows apart, Lori and Alec together, and the girls and I several rows above.
Some people were in costumes, but most were just fans like us. One guy walked in dressed as Thor, held up his hammer and screamed. The entire theater cheered. My kids were loving every moment of it.
By 11:30 the theater was packed. We sucked down a Coke trying to get some caffeine and stay awake…and then…the room darkened.
Previews were awesome: the new Dark Knight trailer that I Tweeted about a couple days ago, the new Spiderman. The theater literally roared when these titles came up, but then immediately silenced to hear the preview. It was an interesting phenomena. They were excited, but at the same time were serious about the film so they were respectful enough to quickly silence their cheers and laughter for the next line.
And then… The Avengers.
The film was sheer brilliance. It was far better than I even expected. It was laugh-out-loud hilarious first, in no way lessening it’s appeal as a phenomenal action film. The cast was amazing, and the script practically perfect. All this with Joss Whedon at the helm… it was a nerd’s paradise, but something every audience will love.
Yeah, I know that I just wrote only one paragraph about the actual film, but I just posted our official review of the film, how age appropriate it is, etc. on our MOVIE REVIEWS & QUICK Q’s page along with some discussion questions and a passage of scripture. Be sure to check that out.
Oh… and stay until the end of the credits. NOT just to the surprise in the “middle” of the credits… but until the VERY end!
Posted in Entertainment Media, Family, Movies, Parenting, Personal, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 05/2/12 11:55 AM | by Jonathan McKee
Nicki Minaj might just be the Gaga of Hip Hop. Her music is growingly popular, her antics are over the top, and her discretion is slim to none. But underneath all that fancy getup is a lost young girl named Onika who desperately needs to experience the love of Jesus. How can we teach our kids compassion for Onika, and, at the same time, discretion with her content?
WARNING: This blog post contains explicit lyrics, with ** where needed. If you are offended by the explicit lyrics… good! You probably should be.
Nicki Minaj is rapidly becoming a household name. Her new music video Beez in the Trap is rapidly gaining popularity, sitting at #2 on iTunes videos as I write this. Not bad for a song with the chorus:
Bitches ain’t sh*t and they ain’t say nothing
A hundred motherf**kers can’t tell me nothing
I beez in the trap, bee beez in the trap…
Her song Starships is currently #9 on the Billboard Hot 100, her album Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded sits #6 on Billboard’s album chart, and in the last few months Nicki’s had three different songs in the iTunes Top 10, just a click away for our kids.
Do your kids have Nicki on their iPod?
Are a few curse words all there is to worry about?
If parents are trying to determine whether Nicki’s music is appropriate for their kids, it won’t take long for them to decide. One of Nicki’s first rides up the charts was a few years ago in her collaboration with Lil Wayne, Drake and other rappers in the popular Young Money song BedRock (No, this song is not about the Flintstones). Here’s a snippet of the chorus:
My room is the G-spot
Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock
Oh, I can make your bed rock…
Nicki doesn’t take long to show her true colors during her part of this song. Her lyrics kick in with:
Okay, I get it, let me think, I guess it’s my turn
Maybe it’s time to put this p**sy on your side burns
Yes, Nicki is making an oral sex reference. Not just any reference, one that explicitly talks about the plus-size of her anatomy enveloping someone’s entire face, trumping the lyrics by female rapper Amil who said, “Before I put this p**sy on your mustache” in the Jay Z song Can I Get a…
Nicki is known for her foul mouth and full figure. Guardian columnist Simon Hattenstone describes her as having “a body like Marilyn and a mouth like Eminem” in his in depth interview with Minaj. Nicki gained a lot of popularity with songs like SuperBass and Stupid Hoe (I’m not making these titles up). A quick peek at the videos and Googling of the lyrics will reveal her pattern: bragging, cursing, and my biggest concern—the sexualization of girls.
I guess crude talk and racy videos weren’t enough for Nicki, because at the recent Grammy’s she upped the ante with her performance of her song, Roman Holiday, engaging in an exorcism of sorts. In a post Grammy interview she confessed that she has a demon named Roman living inside of her.
So is Nicki really intrigued or even possessed by evil spirits, or is this just another attention-getting ploy?
Does it really matter? Is that the deciding factor for parents teaching their kids discernment?
Many parents don’t find a problem with Nicki as long as you download the “clean version.” That seems to be the case with the proud parents of these two cute little girls… and Ellen DeGeneres. So is Stupid Hoe “clean” when you simply take out the curse words? Is Beez in the Trap “clean” when the profanity is removed? (Maybe parents should know a little more about Nicki and what terms like “Beez in the Trap” really means.)
Nicki continues to grow in popularity and as a role model. The question is: Are Nicki’s songs and music videos part of their regular entertainment-media diet?
Getting Our Teenagers Talking About Nicki
After my parent workshops parents always ask me what I say to my own kids about artists like Nicki. I always answer, “As little as possible. I try to get them talking.”
That’s the trick. When our kids ask, “Dad, Can I Download this Song?” our response should probably be, “I don’t know. What do you think?” And the conversation begins. (Chapter 6 of my parenting book is actually titled, “Dad, Can I Download this Song?” because it’s a question so desperate in need of addressing to today’s parents.)
I’ve had some of these conversations with different teenagers already about Nicki, asking them what they think of her lyrics, her videos, and her claims about demon possession. The conversations eventually lead here: “Nicki seems to be a girl looking for answers in the wrong places. We should pray for Nicki… and I agree with you, I don’t think we should download her songs.”
If our kids are Nicki fans the biggest mistake we could make is to just blindly label her “bad.” After all, aren’t we all “bad?” How bad is too bad? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be judged with that measuring tape. Perhaps we need to teach our kids compassion for people, while at the same time teaching discernment with the content they’re filling their heads with.
Compassion starts with stepping into the shoes of others. If you read her story, Nicki, born Onika Maraj, has a father who was an alcoholic and a drug addict. Nicki’s mother even claims that he tried to burn down their house once. Nicki has a history. She’s the woman at the well (John 4). She’s Zacchaeus (Luke 19). She could even be the demon-possessed man (Mark 5). We can learn a lot reading how Jesus responded to these people. While the religious stand and accuse, Jesus responds in compassion.
Perhaps when we see Nicki, we should try to look through Jesus’ eyes and really see Onika.
Does that mean that her music is fair game?
Compassion doesn’t give license to lack of discernment. We need to teach our kids love and wisdom. Just look at Ephesians, Chapter 5. It starts by affirming us to “walk in the way of love,” but then encourages us to steer clear of sexual immorality, impurity, greed and a whole list of foolish behavior. Avoiding those behaviors is basically paraphrased and summarized in vs. 17, “Don’t be foolish.”
If we are talking with kids who don’t see the Bible as an authority… do they believe their doctor? Because the Journal Pediatrics spells out the research clearly… the lyrics affect young people.
If your kids are Nicki fans, what are some ways you can help them learn to avoid being foolish with their entertainment media choices? How can we equip them to steer clear of bad content on their own? That’s the real trick—not over-reacting, but interacting, opening the doors for healthy dialogue.
Discussing Nicki’s Content
If your kids have some Nicki songs, try to get them talking about her content. Google the lyrics to SuperBass, Stupid Ho and Beez in the Trap. Go over the lyrics with your kids. Don’t’ lecture, just ask questions, questions like…
– What do these lyrics mean?
– What does she mean in SuperBass when she says that all a guy has to do is give her a look and her panties are coming off?
– What do you think most girls who listen to Nicki are hearing when they hear these kinds of lyrics?
Pull up Nicki’s music video for Beez in the Trap on iTunes (just click videos on the front page- it’s on the top of the charts right now). Hit the preview button and simply watch the 30-second preview. Then ask…
– What would happen if all girls started acting like Nicki and these other girls in this video?
– Sure, a woman could dance like this in front of her husband, but do you think it’s appropriate to dance like this in front of the world?
Read the definition of “sexualization” from the APA right HERE (those first four bullets). Ask your kids to provide an example of sexualization. Ask them if they think Nicki’s videos are an example?
Realize that many kids are going to respond by saying that they don’t listen to the lyrics and they don’t pay attention to that stuff in the videos. Ask…
– How do young people dance at a school dance? Why? Where do they get that idea from?
– Is there a chance that many of today’s teenagers have been sexualized by role models like Nicki?
If you’re talking to boys, ask…
– Why do guys like watching girls dance like this?
– What is the definition of lusting? (Matthew 5:27, 28)
– Is it possible that a lot of guys will probably lust when watching stuff like this?
You might conclude by asking, “So, if Nicki’s lyrics are recommending girls to act promiscuous, and her videos are proving that she is sexualized, and many who watch the videos are slowly being sexualized, or lusting…do you think we should make Nicki part of our music library?
Let your teenagers come to the conclusion.
Then take some time and truly pray for Onika.
IF YOU LIKED THIS POST,
YOU’LL LOVE JONATHAN’S BOOK,
“CANDID CONFESSIONS
OF AN IMPERFECT PARENT”
Posted in Entertainment Media, Music, Parenting, Sexuality, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 04/22/12 9:51 PM | by Jonathan McKee
I’m a big advocate of youth ministries trying to provide venues where parents and teenagers interact, bond and even laugh together. Youth workers can be proactive about creating these kinds of venues—like PARENT NIGHT, FAMILY NIGHT or even MOTHER/DAUGHTER events.
That’s what Amber did. That’s why I asked her to write a guest post and give you a taste of what she did.
Amber is a volunteer youth worker in “nowhere” Nebraska. Trust me… it’s really in the middle of nowhere. I met Amber for the first time face-to-face a few weeks ago when I taught a parent workshop at her church in Nebraska. It was amazing to see so many from their rural community come out—great fun! After the workshop, Amber pulled me aside and thanked me for so many of the free resources we’ve been providing to youth workers like her for years, including an up-front game she had just used on a parent night- Battle of the Generations. The more she shared, the more I realized that she had a lot of fun ideas to offer. So I asked Amber to share a little about some of the evenings she planned and maybe let us know some of the specific activities she used.
So here’s a fun little guest post from front lines Nebraska youth worker, Amber:
Hey Jonathan,
You suggested I send an e-mail about some of the activities and games we have enjoyed on our parent/teenager nights, so here it is. I also plan to put some reviews on the website. LOVE all the games, thanks so much!!
I have used the “Parent Game” from your “Parent Night” and “Battle of the Generations” in our yearly Family Night event, and both the kids and the parents have loved it. I also recently did a purity retreat with girls and their moms, and we did our own version of the “Parent Game”. The girls were having so much fun that they were actually begging me to keep playing the game. I told them I didn’t have any more questions, but they asked me to make up some more so they could keep playing. I think they really enjoy learning new things about their moms, especially when the other girls are doing the same thing. I also think they enjoy it when they see how well their mom knows them!
Here is our version of the Mom/Daughter game:
Each person had some paper and a marker (small marker boards would work great here) and wrote their answer, then everyone held up their papers at the same time. This saves lots of time and is much more fun than having one group leave the room.QUESTIONS FOR MOMS
- What is your daughters favorite color of toenail polish?
- If you could throw away one thing from your daughter’s closet, what would it be?
- If you had to guess one guy in your daughter’s class that she might marry, who would it be?
- If you and your daughter were on a road trip together, who would have to stop for a bathroom break first?
- If she had to pick today, what colors would your daughter pick for her wedding?
QUESTIONS FOR DAUGHTERS
- What were the colors at your parents wedding?
- What is your mom’s favorite movie?
- What is the coolest car your mom ever drove?
- What is your mom’s favorite day of the week?
- Who was your mom’s best friend in high school?
- How many times per day does your mom check her Facebook page?
We also love your “Dance Dance Evolution” game and “Time Check” game for our Family Nights.
I also plan to give away copies of your parent book, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, at our next Family Night! 🙂
Thanks again,
~Amber Thornton
Thanks Amber! Those are some awesome ideas that might get our own creative juices flowing!
What about you?
Have you tried these kinds of venues with parents?
What worked well?
What didn’t work well?
Posted in Family, Parenting, Youth Ministry Planning | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 04/19/12 3:48 PM | by Jonathan McKee
Here’s a quick post to let you know my travel schedule so far for 2012 (because my fall calendar is already filling up). NOTE: For those of you on the west coast, I’ll be in Cali this coming weekend in Fresno, CA… then again early May at Azusa Pacific University at the FAM Conference (we just posted winners who won free registration for this conference, and you can also still get 50% discounts to that conference)…
HEAR JONATHAN IN PERSON:
April 22, 2012(Fresno, CA)
Preach, Parent Workshop, First Presbyterian Church of Fresno
April 25, 2012(Myrtle Beach, SC)
Understanding, Recruiting & Leading GEN Y Volunteers, SDVSHO Regional Conf.
May 10-12, 2012(Azusa, CA)
Teach the Parenting Track, FAM Conference
June 17, 2012(Carmichael, CA)
Preach, Father’s Day, Christ Community Church
July 15, 2012(Carmichael, CA)
Preach, Christ Community Church
August 19, 2012(Albuquerque, NM)
Preach, Parent Workshop, Eastern Hills Baptist Church
September 15, 2012(Highland, MI)
Connect Workshop, Highland United Methodist Church
September 16, 2012(Highland, MI)
Preach, Parent Workshop, Highland United Methodist Church
September 26, 2012(Dallas, TX)
Training Workshops, D6 Conference
October 7, 2012(Boise, ID)
Preach, Parent Workshop, First Baptist Church Boise
October 12-14, 2012(San Diego, CA)
Training Workshops, Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention
October 28, 2012(Bluffton, IN)
Preach, Parent Workshop, Hope Missionary Church
November 16-18, 2012(Dallas, TX)
Training Workshops, Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention
CLICK HERE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT BRINGING JONATHAN TO YOUR CITY TO TEACH A PARENTING WORKSHOP
Posted in Parenting, Travel | | Leave A Comment
Posted on: 04/9/12 3:35 PM | by Jonathan McKee
I got a little something for everyone today: free books, free admissions to a brand new conference you’re gonna love, 50% discounts, and… a new workshop I’m launching.
UPDATE: We’ve posted winners of this contest near the bottom of this post!
I’ve been looking for a venue to introduce my new parenting workshop, “Get Your Teenagers Talking,” so when Doug Fields called me a few weeks ago and asked me to teach the parenting track at their FAM Conference, May 10-12 in Southern CA… I knew this would be the place to debut this fun new workshop where I help parents open up the channels of communication in their homes and connect with their teenagers.
I also thought this would be a good opportunity to give away some free stuff to my blog readers, like two free admissions to the FAM Conference! For those who don’t win, Doug has provided me with a code for all of my blog readers that will give you 50% off admission if you sign up in the next two weeks. (More on these prizes and discounts in a minute.)
I really love what Jim Burns and Doug Fields are doing with this fun little conference at Azusa Pacific University. Jim and Doug are hosts, and they’ve brought out some amazing speakers like Jim Daly, George Barna and Dr. John Townsend (to name a few). Then they offer different tracks like my parenting track, a “Sticky Faith” youth ministry track taught by Kara Powell, or the children’s ministry track taught by author/speaker Christine Yount-Jones. There are 8 tracks total (see here).
One element I really like is the fact that, in addition to the tracks you choose, the FAM Conference offers Saturday seminars taught by all the workshop teachers so attendees can get a taste of a different track. So, for example, you could attend Kara’s youth ministry track on Friday, then come to my parenting track Saturday, which is when I’ll be debuting my “Getting Your Teenagers Talking.” (Friday I’m teaching my “Parenting the Texting Generation” workshop.)
But I guess the element that is the biggest plus of this conference is something that Jim and Doug have always brought to their conferences… personal attention. This conference offers very intimate sessions where you’ll have a chance to interact with the speakers. Plus, speakers like Jim, Doug and myself always make ourselves available at these kind of conferences to talk with you over meals and even one-on-one times. Well worth the price… especially the 50% discount price!
This conference is only about 5 weeks away! So let me cut to the chase and give you the DISCOUNT and CONTEST DETAILS:
50% Discount to FAMConference– Just pop on this page to register and enter the word “Doug” (no quotes) in the “special code” box and you’ll receive a 50% discount off all who register! (If you win the contest, your money will be refunded.)
Free Admission to FAMConference– (UPDATE: This winner for this has now been chosen- we’ll post it soon!) I’m giving away two free admissions to this conference. The contest is simple. Just submit a comment in this blog and complete this sentence: “I’d definitely attend a parenting workshop if the speaker…” I’ll randomly draw a winner in just a few days and post it on my blog. And just for fun, I’ll go ahead and throw a couple copies of my parenting book in the mix of prizes, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent.
WINNERS: Congratulations to David Shade of Whittier, CA! You are the winner of the two free passes to this FAM Conference! (Make sure we connect there! I’d love to meet you!)
Congratulations to the following people who won copies of my book, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent. Use the CONTACT US button at the top of this blog to email me your address so I can send you a copy!
– Sharon Stoltzfus
– Brandi Barnette
For more details about the FAMConference, go to FAMConference.com
If you’re interested in bringing me out to your city to teach this new parenting workshop, Getting Your Teenagers Talking, CLICK HERE.
Posted in Books, Church, Leadership, Parenting | | Leave A Comment
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