I’ve been using some of these articles as discussion-springboards with my daughters. After all, the one common denominator almost all this research shares is the advice to parents to regularly dialogue about this with their kids.
Ashley (my 15-year-old), of course, is all “sighs” during these conversations. If I bring up social media, she rolls her eyes, exhales loudly, and proclaims, “Dad, have you ever had any problem with me and this stuff? No. Then relax!”
If I only had a dime for every time my daughter told me to relax.
Yesterday, after asking Ashley a little about Instragram and showing her an article with parental guidelines, she sighed, rolled her eyes, and informed me that its parents who really need a list of rules for social media Continue reading “Ashley’s Rules for Parents”
You haven’t heard from me for awhile because I’m taking some time off to hang with family and visit our son Alec where he attends college at Azusa Pacific University in Southern CA. Lori, myself and my parents (our girls are on a missions trip) all drove down Sunday, and we’ve been enjoying Continue reading “Alec”
This coming Sunday I’m teaching a brand new parenting workshop at a church just outside of Milwaukee, based on a parenting curriculum Doug Fields and I are co-authoring.
This all started with a series of blog posts I wrote about setting guardrails. These articles springboarded a discussion between Doug and I, and next thing we know we were collaborating on this new curriculum for parents, which is in its final edits and will be released in May, just in time for when we both teach at the FAM Conference.
It’s been really fun working with Doug. It’s no secret he’s creative and brings all kinds of wisdom and experience to the table, but he’s also Continue reading “First Launch”
The music industry is at it again, pimping easily accessible smut for our kids’ eyes and ears. This time, it’s a new music video from Will I Am… and most parents don’t have a clue.
That’s what scares me the most– how unaware parents are. After the Super Bowl this year, I kept encountering articles written by parents who were “shocked” by Beyonce’s performance.
Really?
Don’t get me wrong. She was overtly sexual, she was inappropriate, and I think it’s sad that our country happily endorses that entertainment. But her performance was in no way “shocking.” If you’ve ever seen Continue reading “Scream & Shout”
What is the biggest impact an adult can make in the life of a young person?
I don’t even have to blink. The answer is, constant dialogue.
The key word there is dialogue, not monologue. Adults are pretty good at lecturing… but listening? Not so much. The lecturer misses out on what is going on in the world of a young person. The listener hears the heart of the person and draws out the truth.
Last week my son texted me, all excited about a discussion in one of his classes at APU, his college down in Southern California. The teacher had read the new CDC report about binge drinking among girls (the scary subject of the brand new Youth Culture Window article I just posted yesterday, Binge Drinking Unrecognized). Instead of lecturing, the teacher began asking questions.
Don’t underestimate the power of mentorship. This younger generation actually craves coaching. They want someone who will dialogue with them about the real-life issues they are facing.
Maybe it was the unique matchup of two teams, one from each U.S. coast, who barely scraped wins from some of the closest and most challenging championship games in years.
Or maybe… it was the commercials.
Americans love Super Bowl Sunday, an American holiday of sorts. I’ve shared my theories on why. But it’s undeniable that this television event is one where people actually want to watch the ads. Maybe that’s why these spots sell for $4 million for just 30-seconds.
This year, I had two favorites. I can’t tell you which is my No. 1, because I loved them both for different reasons.
My favorite funny ad had to be the Doritos ad, “Goat for Sale.” This little 30-second ad was hilarious, memorable, and actually made you remember the brand advertised. That’s a lot of bang for your buck… er… your 4 million bucks. Check it out:
But the sentimental side of me (or as my wife would call it, “the woman in me”) loved Anheuser-Busch’s heartwarming spot, “Brotherhood,” showing the raising and training of a young Clydesdale horse that is sold to Budweiser, only to be reunited with his former trainer for just a few seconds years later.
Yes… I cried.
This spot was the No. 1 spot of the day, according to Ad Meter, winning by a nose. Check it out:
USA Today posted all the best commercial videos, clickable and ready to watch, in order of popularity on this page, or you can view the whole list here.
My Soapbox
Let’s be honest. Watching TV is becoming a struggle for many parents today, regardless of religious belief, because when you sit down to watch a show as a family, you hope to not have to leap across the couch and cover little Josh’s eyes.
Yesterday was probably a pleasant experience overall for parents, but they definitely grew nervous a few times, like when the GoDaddy ad featuring gorgeous model Bar Refaeli began. But unlike previous years, where GoDaddy admittedly used eye-candy, this year they just used… awkward?
CBS definitely aired a few ads that made parents squirm in their seats: the racy Carls Jr. ad—sexy girl eating a burger, or perhaps the Gildan shirts ad where the guy wakes up Hangover-style in furry handcuffs and wants his shirt back from the girl lying in the bed. Maybe we should celebrate that ads like this ad for PornHub didn’t make the cut this year.
I think one of the most obvious ploys used by television networks over the years is the attempt to lure viewers to watch the program immediately following the Super Bowl. Often, networks use low hanging fruit like eye-candy or raunchy humor to entice viewers. (Did you notice the commercial for CBS shows where they advertised, “irresponsible”? I guess that’s a marketing draw now.) This year, CBS showed a special episode of their new show Elementary, usually airing on Thursday nights. As the show began, two girls in lingerie seduced Sherlock Holmes and tied him to a chair. I’ve seen this show numerous times and it’s never used this tactic before. I guess CBS had to bet “all in” if they were to try to win those Super Bowl viewers.
INSERTED NOTE:To those who are wondering why I decided not to even cast any opinion about the Super Bowl halftime show this year: Why? Because it was exactly what people should have expected. Beyonce always dresses like that, she always dances like that, and America, in general, embraces her, seeing no problem with her onstage antics. Celebrities who dress modest are actually the exception today. The most innocent of our daughters’ role models dress slutty, and our girls are learning that’s it’s readily acceptable to dress slutty. It’s a wonder why parents are sitting around scratching their heads wondering why our teenagers act the way they do at school dances. Our girls are slowly becoming sexualized; I’ve blogged about this countless times. So if you found the Super Bowl halftime show surprising… my only response is… where have you been? If you found the Super Bowl halftime show sad… my response is… good! You just saw a glimpse of the kind of entertainment media our kids are simmering in daily.
So my simple advice to parents is twofold: co-viewing and dialogue.
Don’t let your kids watch TV by themselves. Do what the AAP recommends and watch TV with them. I would go further and recommend recording shows with a DVR so you can use my three-button approach to watching TV with your kids, opening doors of opportunity for dialogue. Yes, dialogue, not monologue. In other words: don’t lecture, but ask questions. After seeing a guy waking up from a one night stand wearing furry handcuffs, ask your teenagers some questions,
“So what do you think this commercial is saying?”
“Is it telling the whole story?”
If you keep up on youth culture, like when you need my new Youth Culture Window article about teenage binge drinking I’ll be posting this weekend (sign up to receive these articles in your inbox HERE), you can even cite a recent study and ask your kids’ thoughts about the truth on the subject.
He begged his Mom for an iPhone, and finally received it on Christmas day… along with a very personal and detailed iPhone contract… written by his mom!
13-year-old Greg seems like any other middle school kid, but his mom, Janelle Hoffman isn’t just any mom. She is teaching her son that owning a smart phone is a privilege, not a right. Perhaps this is a better option than just smashing our kids’ phone!
Janelle was willing to give Greg an iPhone, but only if he agreed to their list of 18 conditions. Here’s just a few:
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?
2. I will always know the password.
3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.
4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm.
Last weekend I saw something so relevant to youth culture today that it could have been created last week. As it is… it was painted in the 1950’s.
Saturday my wife and I joined some friends and visited our local art museum to see the Norman Rockwell exhibit. Now, I don’t get very artsy in these blogs, and I won’t claim to be something I’m not. I can name a handful of artists and recognize their work, but most of you know that you’d be far likelier to find me at a Buffalo Wild Wings than a museum. But last weekend’s look at Norman Rockwell’s works really opened my eyes to how much Rockwell had his thumb on the pulse of youth culture in his day. And paintings like this one are almost timeless.
Isn’t that painting amazing? Simply titled, “Girl at Mirror,” this painting graced the cover of the Saturday Evening Post on March 6, 1954. Stare at the painting for a few moments and take in some of the details.
Notice the doll discarded on the floor. Is that symbolic of her attempting to cast away her youth? How do young girls do this today?
Notice the magazine with the picture of the model. Is that the standard she is trying to measure up to? What do our daughters try to measure up to today?
Notice her hands. Is this young girl secure in herself? What is she thinking as she sees her reflection? What do girls see today?
Notice the makeup and hairbrush at her feet. Are these what will replace the doll?
How relevant is this picture today?
As a youth worker and a parent, I might just show my kids this picture and ask them similar questions– a great little tool to get our kids thinking and talking.
The Rockwell exhibit was amazing. You can scroll down on this page and see a glimpse of some of the paintings I got to see firsthand. Amazing stuff. I have a new appreciation for the artist. I might just blog about a few other of his works.
One of the most popular apps teenagers are using today is an app that snaps a picture, sends to a friend… and then the picture disappears after just a few seconds.
… or does it?
I’m talking about Snapchat. I blogged about this app last May when it first began growing popular (I encourage you to read that post, because I provide some of the real numbers about “sexting” and how much of a concern this issue really is… or isn’t).
Well, now the app is more mainstream, and most kids know about it and use it. It’s the 16th most popular download in the free iTunes store as I type this. More than 20 millions photos are shared each day. If you hang out with teenagers, you’ve probably heard about it.
1. The pictures are NOT just temporary, because EVERY kids knows how to do a screenshot of incoming pictures. Now the picture that someone intended to be temporary… is saved on someone’s phone. You’ll find a host of articles about this all over the web.
2. Parents need to have conversations about this with their kids. Kids need to be reminded of accountability. In short, Snapchat should be treated like any other picture they take.
Some parents are banning their kids from downloading this app. Will that solve the problem? Or do parents just need to start having more conversations about responsibility and accountability?
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Have you noticed your kids using Snapchat? Is banning the app from your kids the solution? Why or why not?
What conversations have you had with your kids about this popular app?
David and I finished our annual recap of the songs that went #1 in the past year, just posting Part II of the article on this week’s Youth Culture Window page(if you don’t receive that free Youth Culture Window in your inbox, CLICK HERE).
Thirteen songs made it to the top spot on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart this year, giving teenagers plenty to resonate with…both good and bad. That two-part article provides you with an overview of each of those songs.
Every once in a while someone will ask me, “Why do you care so much about the music teenagers listen to?”
I guess that would be like someone asking me, “Why do you care about what your kids eat?”
Consider the love for cheesecake. If you sauntered into the Cheesecake Factory on a random Friday night and discovered their Dulce de Leche Caramel Cheesecake to be delicious, you might not be aware that you just consumed over 1000 calories, 44 grams of fat, and 91g of carbs in one piece.
I mean… who cares. It just tastes delicious!
Perhaps you begin eating a piece after every meal.
If someone warns you, “Hey, you’re gonna grow three chins if you keep eating all that cheesecake!” you might be tempted to reply, “I just don’t worry about all that stuff. After all, how do we really know that excess calories and carbs are bad for you anyway!”
Ignorance is no excuse.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying all music is bad. Quite the contrary (all food isn’t bad either). But, perhaps we should be aware of what our kids are consuming.