An Excuse to Be Slutty

Posted on: 11/1/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Did you notice it this Halloween and the weeks prior? From the magazine ads and display windows of stores at the mall, to the costume parties across the nation. Halloween has become an excuse for girls to dress slutty.

I think Elizabeth Durand summarized this mindset well in the opening line of her article, Slutty Halloween Costumes for Nice Girls. She said:

“Every hot-blooded American girl knows Halloween is really just an excuse to dress like a tramp without being judged. Duh.”

Today’s sit coms seem to echo this mindset. In the hit show Big Bang Theory (3rd most popular show last week), Penny wore a particularly trampy police-girl outfit. Her friend asks her, “Slutty cop?” Penny replied, “No, this is sexy copy. Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.”

In the brand new show Ben and Kate, Kate’s friend BJ discusses hooking up with a guy during Halloween, assuring Kate that this holiday is the one time a year it’s okay to dress like a whore.

It’s sexualization at it’s finest, and sadly, teenager girls are gobbling it up.

If you don’t believe me, just jump on Party City’s most popular costume section on their website, something I’ve blogged about in years past. Look at some of these popular teen costumes this year:

Seriously? “Snow Bunny”? She’ll freeze!

“Unicorn”? It’s just a slutty teenager with a horn on her head!

“Sassy Sailor”? Really? Sigh…

Girls are learning young that being sexy is way more important than other characteristics. And that’s exactly what the American Psychological Association defines as “sexualization.” (Fascinating report.) Girls choose sexy over other characteristics, even as early as 6-years old.

So how can we prevent our girls from believing this lie that sexy trumps other characteristics?

  1. Positive Reinforcement: Constantly affirm your kids in their strengths, reminding them how they will use that skill in real life. Don’t forget to encourage noticed character traits like honesty, compassion or reliability.
  2. Raise Awareness about Sexualization: Let them see examples of it, and talk about the consequences that the APA outlines. If you’re watching a show that exemplifies sexualization, pause and have a conversation about it.
  3. Set Dress-code Guidelines: No, you don’t need to start measuring skirts from the floor, but teach modesty, and create some simple guidelines that involve layering so tops aren’t too low and skirt aren’t too short.

Finally, teach our girls the whole story. Sexy isn’t bad. God made women sexy, and he made sex pleasurable. When our girls meet the man of their dreams someday and commit to him in marriage, they will get to enjoy all the sexy fun that goes along with that. Don’t be ashamed of this truth. Always look for opportunities to tell our kids the explicit truth about sex.

Let’s raise a generation of girls that don’t feel pressured to become too sexy too soon.


That Was PG-13?

The “Right” Kind of Porn

Since Sex is a Reality in College…

3 Costly Teenage Risky Behaviors


8 Replies to “An Excuse to Be Slutty”

  1. Great post, Jonathan. I’m a youth pastor in Ft Wayne and it breaks my heart to see pictures (they must forget that we’re friends on facebook) of many present and past female students choosing the slutty route on halloween. I know that for many, a costume is just something to dress up in and be goofy. However, I can’t help but think about the message that a slutty costume sends to the many guys they’re hanging out with, partying with, etc, not to mention the guys passing by that they are providing eye candy for. I see so much potential heart break that will inevitably follow the morning after and wish we could do more to teach confidence in self, not in sexiness, in their status as daughters of the king, and not just eye candy to some guy.

    1. Thanks Marc. So true. SIDE NOTE: That picture at the top of this blog post was taken in that big mall in Fort Wayne. I was there last weekend speaking at a church and doing a parent workshop, and clicked that picture when in your mall.

  2. Great article Jonathan.
    We as a family last night had a great discussion on this very topic. Both my teenage daughters were shocked at some of their friends posts on Instagram and FB. Some of these young ladies and their parents are the first to cry out, “Don’t judge!”, yet they choose to dress and act in ways that are not reflecting modesty and humility towards Christ.
    Thanks again!

    1. So true Joe… last night I was talking with my friend, and his first “trick or treater” was a young girl that looked about 13, dressed like a hooker. Her mom was standing out at the street waiting for her. We were thinking, “REALLY??? Mom is okay with this???”

  3. What I noticed this year was that the majority of tween and teen girls chose one of three options: slutty, demonic, or demonic/slutty. The adjectives I heard being used amongst their peers were more along the lines of ‘that’s cute’ or ‘that’s cool’. It seems that our market/image driven American society is pushing one thing while portraying it as something else. Sounds just like the times of Noah, the Judges, Jesus… the father of all lies is as busy today as he was 2000 years ago. What is sad is that we as parents either don’t recognize it, ignore it, or fall into the trap of encouraging it. Thank you Jonathan for a refreshing perspective that I pray – for the sake of the children – becomes more prevalent. As adults, we have a responsibility. Proverbs 22:6

  4. Being a teenager myself (19), I can vouch for how upsetting this is. So many girls are putting themselves out there as a sex symbol rather than a lady, finding excuses everyday to wear their v-necks deeper, pants lower, and shorts and skirts lower and shorter. It’s so disappointing knowing that with each passing generation, this is how it’s going to wind up. You’d think–that instead of letting that happen–society would step in and try to cut it out so these people that aren’t fully developed wouldn’t be able to expose and exploit themselves in this manner, even if it’s just dressing up for one night. One night and one time is all it takes to get recognized as a “slut”, and that single word could stick around and haunt someone for the rest of their life. It should be stopped.

  5. i’m a fashion designer, aged 29 now, I love designing clothes, dresses, skirts, swimwear etc, for “young adults”. They like to look good so they are liked by and attractive to boys and Men. love to hear from others who AGREE that they should look good at an early age. harriette

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