Category: Humor

Okay… It’s time to chime in about this dance my daughter is going to tonight and what’s written on her ticket.

Alyssa, my 15-year-old, who is GORGEOUS, is going to Homecoming tonight with a nice young man from church. I’m not worried, but I probably should be, because when I was 15, some people probably thought I was “a nice young man from church.” And I wasn’t! (Well, I was kind, and courteous. But, looking back, I was not respectful to the girls I dated at all!)

So I have to share with you the warnings that this “ticket” has written on it from the school. Hilarious… yet revealing about today’s culture. (I’m laughing because I’m going to be chaperoning my son’s school dance next weekend, and I know I’ll be seeing some of this.)

Here’s a glimpse of what’s written on the ticket:

Students:

·        Are expected to face their partner at all times (no back to front motion)

·        Must maintain a 4 – 6 inch space from their partner

·        May not engage in ‘leg wrapping’

·        With the exception of feet, may not place body parts on floor

·        May not engage in grinding, moshing, or body surfing

·        May slow dance as long as it does not extend beyond hugging

·        May break dance as long as there is adequate space and prior approval has been obtained.

Students who fail to adhere to the dance policy will be given their one and only warning (wristband or I.D. Card). Any additional violations will result in the student being removed from the dance.

How would you have liked to be on the committee that had to come up with these guidelines? lol … I love their wording. I can imagine the meeting. “So how do we get them to stop humping each other on the dance floor? Can we say ‘no humping’ on the ticket?” “I know, let’s just call it, ‘no back to front motion.'”

Oh man!

Alyssa and I talked about it. The guy she’s going with is a friend, not a boyfriend. He’s a great guy and I think he’ll be really respectful. They’re going as a group, six kids from church, none of them are actually “boyfriend and girlfriend” … all just buddies. They should have a blast.

I’m sooooooo bummed that I’m missing it. I’ll be in San Diego teaching at the YS Convention. Sniff! Sniff!

Alyssa said she might text me and keep me posted. I’ll probably tweet a little about it if I hear from her.

(Please text me Alyssa!)  🙂

UPDATE:

Lyssy texted me and told me she’s having a good time.

Also… her date’s li’l sis texted me a pic she took of the two of them. Awe… don’t they look sweet! (Sniff… my little girl is growing up!)

This week has personally been crazy! I’ve been on “bucket duty” all week.

No, that has nothing to do with a bucket list. It has everything to do with everyone in my house getting the flu… except me! (So far!)

My 15-year-old Alyssa got it first on Tuesday afternoon. She started feeling queazy in art class, ran outside, pulled her hair back and puked in a trashcan in front of 40 boys (so she described). She said that two of them asked her, “Are you okay.” She wiped her chin and said, “Yeah. Doing great!”

I picked her up shortly after and she began throwing chunks every 30 minutes for about 6 hours until finally the doctor gave her something to stop heaving (long story, but we actually were going to the doctor anyway because she fractured one of her fingers at water polo practice the day before). While I was at the doctor with her, Lori called and said that Alec, my 17-year-old had puked at work and was coming home.

At this moment Lori and I were silent for a moment. A cloud of fear drifted over our heads– we both knew, this thing is making its way around the family! We began pondering, what did they eat? What did we eat? Did I share a glass with them last night? (you know… many of you have probably been there)

Alec began the process of hurling groceries for the next few hours. Lori, Ashley- my youngest- and I looked at each other in fear. We knew it was probably coming.

Wednesday morning Ash woke up fine and went to school. At noon I got a text, “Dad, I’m in the bathroom at school… come get me.” Two hours later she was in our bathroom ralphing… and a few other bonus symptoms that I won’t go into! Meanwhile Lori started moaning and grabbing her stomach. By 4PM I was the only one serving all four.

Bucket duty!

The house was a wreck. I was trying to do everything Lori normally does (props to her), everything I do, and bucket duty. Truly crazy.

Funny though– when the hurling stopped and everyone was just lying in a slump, we actually had some laughs. At least we were going through it together as a family. It was an adventure… of sorts. I was thankful I wasn’t out of town and that I work at home so I could be there to help.

The good news: it was a 24 hour thing. Alec and Alyssa were functioning at 80% by Wednesday night and went to school Thursday. Then Ashley and Lori were at 70 to 80% by Thursday night, and Ash is back to school today. They’ve all had it… except me!

And so I wait…