5 Principles for “Newbie” Youth Pastors- PART II

Posted on: 08/13/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last week I asked you to chime in with your advice for my friend “Neal Newbie,” a brand new youth pastor. You all shared some amazing insight. In the next post, I finally chimed in with my two cents, raising the question, “How should a brand new youth pastor begin his or her job in ministry?” I suggested there were 5 principles to consider. If you haven’t read that post—make sure you go back and read that first principle. Today I continue my list:

NOTE: Today’s post is riddled with helpful links to articles and resources that expand on the topic. I think you’ll enjoy them.

2.    Start with People… not Program

This principle has a lot of crossover with the first principle I shared, but it deserves specific attention.

Effective youth ministry isn’t about dodgeball, pizza and all-nighters. Don’t get me wrong, I use all of these tools (and find them effective)… but they are just tools. And they definitely shouldn’t be the focus of any ministry.

Ministry begins with Continue reading “5 Principles for “Newbie” Youth Pastors- PART II”

5 Principles for “Newbie” Youth Pastors

Posted on: 08/9/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

How should a brand new youth pastor begin his or her job in ministry?

A couple days ago I asked for your advice for my friend “Neal Newbie,” a brand new youth pastor in a small church with just two teenagers currently attending Sunday School. What would you tell this guy? How does a youth worker know where he or she is supposed to start?

I think many youth workers might immediately start a midweek program. Others might start going on nearby campuses. Some might just assume fetal position, shivering in the corner of their office in hopes that the senior pastor never checks on them!!!

So where should my friend “Neal Newbie” start? Continue reading “5 Principles for “Newbie” Youth Pastors”

What Would You Advise Neal Newbie?

Posted on: 08/7/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I have a friend who just started a job as a youth pastor for a small town church. When the church hired him, they were emphatic about two “vital” elements:

  1. Don’t change the room.
  2. Make sure you let the pastor know what’s going on.

So much to say… I don’t even know where to start.

I’ll go ahead and refrain from ranting, “Seriously? That’s all you require!!!” …skipping to the more intriguing subject matter. The fact is, my friend “Neal Newbie” hasn’t ever worked in youth ministry before, so this is his first crack at it. He met with me last week and basically asked me, “Where do I start?” Continue reading “What Would You Advise Neal Newbie?”

19-Year-Old Mentality

Posted on: 07/2/12 5:56 PM | by Jonathan McKee

My 19-year-old Alec and his friend Austin came home the other day sick and both holding their stomachs.

“What happened?” I asked.

Alec and Austin both managed a smile. “We tried blending a Happy Meal and drinking it… just for the heck of it!”

Ya gotta love teenage boys. They didn’t need a reason; they just thought it sounded fun. Alec had seen the game done at youth group, it’s a game idea on our web site called “The Happy Shake.” Kids always seem pretty confident Continue reading “19-Year-Old Mentality”

Four Numbers That Will Always Matter in Youth Ministry

Posted on: 06/6/12 11:06 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Life is full of over-reactions…but they are abundant in youth ministry circles.

Have you noticed these swings of the proverbial pendulum?

“Outreach is needed!” “Wait, now we’re ignoring our believers!” “Outreach is bad!”

“We could use events and programs to draw kids!” “Wait, now we’re focusing too much on program, and not enough on the individual.” “Programming is bad!

And now I’m hearing it with numbers again.

“Our youth group has grown to 100 kids weekly.” “Yeah, but the statistic I just read says that all of them are going to Hell…on a bicycle!” “Numbers are bad!”

Sigh.

Can we stop over-reacting and throwing out the baby with the bathwater? (Has anyone actually done this? I wonder if a baby has ever been discarded with bathwater. There has to be a better analogy than this!)

Allow me to be the one to be politically incorrect in today’s ministry world and say it: numbers matter! I realize that some of you think the word “numbers” is the “N” word (you really shouldn’t say that in public, by the way), but I assure you, it’s not. Numbers often open our eyes to the reality of weak areas in our ministry.

Before you scroll directly to the bottom of this blog to post a nasty comment, please hear me out. I’ll keep it simple. Numbers should never be the focus of our ministry, but at times, they provide really helpful information…and a much-needed kick in the butt.

Here’s 4 numbers that will ALWAYS matter in youth ministry:

1.    How many people have you and your leaders led to Christ this year?
Again, before overreacting, note that the Bible actually includes these kinds of numbers. Take a peek at that giant conversion in Acts, Chapter 2. Peter preached, the Lord moved, and “about three thousand were added to their number that day.” (vs. 41). (Did I mention that the Bible has a book titled “Numbers?”) What was Luke thinking when he wrote this down! Didn’t he know that it’s bad to keep track of numbers?

Not true. Numbers often tell us that something is happening the way it’s supposed to happen when we allow the Spirit to work.

If we’re doing ministry in our community, inside and outside the church, people should be meeting Jesus. Does this mean that I should be jealous of Greg because he has led 10 people to put their trust in Christ and I have led only 3? No. But let’s be honest…if I’ve led no one to Christ, I might want to ask why. And if Greg seems to be leading about 10 to 20 people to put their trust in Christ each year and I’m only leading three, I might want to sit down with him, talk with him, and see what I can glean from him. (Especially if Greg is Greg Stier!!!!) We have a lot to learn from each other in the body of Christ. (as iron sharpens iron…)

Numbers keep us accountable to what we should be doing. And we should be introducing people to Christ. If we aren’t…ask why.

2.    How many students are you and your leaders currently discipling?
Ministry doesn’t end with people putting their trust in Jesus. Jesus called us to go and make disciples, not decisions. How many young people are you discipling? If your answer is zero, let me be bold enough to say, you really might want to re-evaluate your ministry.

Better yet, compare this number to the number above—the number of people you and your leaders have led to Christ this year. If the first number is greater, ask why people are making decisions, but not wanting to be discipled  (and that’s an entirely different article). These numbers can help hold us accountable to where we are putting our time. Are we spending 4 hours per week on Wednesday night’s funny video while no kids are being discipled?

Whoops!

Maybe this person should look at numbers to remind himself what’s important.

3.    How many students have you equipped to start using their gifts for the Kingdom?
One of the biggest complaints from the church in the last few years is the large number of teenagers who are walking away from their faith after high school. How many students are we really equipping to own their faith to the point where it spills over and becomes contagious?

That’s really the difference between a kid who’s just growing in their faith and one who’s looking for ministry. The “Looking for Ministry” kid isn’t just growing inwardly, they are following the spirit’s promptings to reach out to others.

Maybe we need to remember to not just focus on ministry to teenagers, but introduce a little bit of ministry by teenagers.

How many student leaders are you developing? How many teenagers have you trained in evangelism this year? How many teenagers are you equipping to do ministry?

These numbers, often ignored, can be some of the most productive numbers you ever count.

4.    How many volunteers have you recruited this year?
Yeah, now I’m really starting to meddle! But let’s face it, we’re doing a great disservice in any youth ministry if we aren’t actively recruiting volunteers to connect with teenagers and be a light in their lives.

Sadly, this area is often put onto the back burner. “I’m a youth pastor, not a recruiter.” Actually, that’s not true. Youth pastors need to be recruiters, equippers and trainers. If the church hires a person to just hang out with teenagers, they made a mistake. Why hire one person to hang out with teenagers when instead you can hire one person who will recruit 20 or 30 volunteers who will all hang out with teenagers?

If you’re a youth worker who finds yourself saying, “I hate recruiting” …you’re not alone. You just need to rethink your methodology (here’s some free help).

How many potential volunteers have you asked to come sit in on a junior high Bible study with you sometime? How many potential volunteers have you asked to drive a vanload of teenagers to the music festival? How many potential volunteers did you give just a small taste of your ministry, following up with them a week later, affirming them for their help and letting them know what a difference they made?

These kinds of numbers keep you accountable to recruiting workers for the harvest.

5.    How few Doritos can you eat after tasting one in a bowl in front of you?
This probably isn’t really important, I just think you’re amazing if you can eat less than 5!!!

Please don’t focus on numbers. Please don’t let numbers define your “value.” Please don’t brag about your numbers. Please don’t let numbers boost your personal pride.

But please… let numbers hold you accountable to the work of the Kingdom.

Spot On about Sex

Posted on: 05/15/12 2:59 PM | by Jonathan McKee

A little while ago I devoted five days of this blog to talking about, “talking about sex”...in explicit detail. Simply put: youth workers and parents often neglect talking about this subject and our kids are forced to figure it out on their own.

I’ve been receiving amazing feedback since the launch of that blog series… much of it in the comments section that week. But it’s been interesting to continue to receive comments and emails from people that have taken my advice and actually talked with their kids about sex in explicit detail.

Here’s a recent email from Shona, a youth worker in NZ:

Dear Jonathon,

Just wanted to send you a note to say how much I appreciated your blogs on this topic. I am a youth Pastor in a church in NZ, a rather “old” one, female 56, am in my 7th year after 18 yrs in Children’s Ministry! Absolutely love God’s call into this Ministry!

Anyway, last weekend we had our Girls retreat & I’d felt God nudging me to do the relationship topic in depth & had all the ideas but wondering how to put them into 4 talks … & then I saw your blogs. So so great, used your headings & alot of your blog along with more stuff. Weekend went amazingly well!!

Funniest thing – a couple of subjects you mentioned, I thought “no, I can’t talk about that!” but on Saturday night when I”d shared my own testimony on my teen yrs & pre-marriage (not pretty .. non-Christian then!!) we did “Aska” basket time & every awkward subject came up! So you were spot on!! Just wanted to say your blogs were awesome & gave me the courage & the wisdom to say things straight up to the girls on so many issues!! AND everyone responded so well to hearing the whole truth.,

God’s truth. GOD BLESS .. SHONA

Thanks Shona, and so many others, for your encouraging notes. Keep up the good work!

We’ve now combined these blogs and posted them in a “Training Tools” format on our FREE TRAINING TOOLS page on TheSource4YM.com and in a helpful article format on our PARENTING HELP page on TheSource4Parents.com.

Team Builders

Posted on: 05/8/12 8:21 PM | by Jonathan McKee

How important is team-building with our student leaders?

Doug Fields and I have been blogging about student leadership quite a bit lately (just last week I blogged about The First 4 Things I Teach Student Leaders, Part I and Part II). Doug’s student leadership conference is in July on both coasts, so the topic’s on our mind.

It seems that one of the most common questions I receive from the front lines is, “What do I do with my student leaders when we get them together for training?”

Great question. I think it’s important to get student leaders together regularly for training and fellowship. During those times I like to give them opportunities to serve together, and train them about anything from evangelism to discovering and using their gifts (we actually provide an entire ready-made training retreat in my book about developing student leaders, Ministry By Teenagers). But don’t make the mistake of making your training times all about “training.” Make sure you include some team building activities where young people laugh, have fun, with just a dash of “learning to work together.”

I think team-builders are essential. These activities are more than just games (and I’m not slamming on games, I think games can be fantastic tools). Most team-builders are fun, but they have that added bonus of doing just what the name implies, “building your team.” That why our website has a whole page of team-builders.

Here’s a simple one that youth pastor Dan Manns just sent in. I like that this requires no setup… just a few balloons!

Team Builder Title: Don’t Let It Drop
Description: Divide your group into teams of 6-8 people. Give each team a balloon. At ‘go’ each team tries to keep their balloon aloft. There are 3 rules:

#1 players cannot use their arms or hands

#2 a player cannot touch the ball twice in a row

#3 everybody on the team must touch the ball at least once.

If your team’s balloon touches the ground you are out and must sit down on the ground. Last team standing wins.

Simple and fun!

What about you?
What are ways that you help teenagers bond and begin to work together?

It’s Here!

Posted on: 04/25/12 3:55 AM | by Jonathan McKee

As a Zondervan author, I usually get a shipment of my books/DVDs a few weeks before they hit the shelves. This Monday my brand new REAL CONVERSATIONS arrived! So right now. I’m offering the DVD and combo Participant’s Guide/Leader’s Guide on my site for less than $20 total (and we’re giving FREE SHIPPING in the US).

I’ve been getting some really good feedback about this curriculum so far. Doug Fields said:

“REAL CONVERSATIONS HELPS TEENAGERS THINK ABOUT THEIR FAITH, THEIR APPROACH, AND PROVIDES REAL EXAMPLES OF HOW TO SHARE THEIR FAITH STORY. I’M THRILLED FOR THIS NEW RESOURCE TO BE OUT!”- Doug Fields

The curriculum features four sessions on the DVD, each about 12 minutes long, the last session a little longer because it features a scene between two teenage girls having a “faith conversation” where one girl shares her faith story in a real way. I had a group of 5 or 6 teenagers help me with the writing of that scene, keeping it real… not forced.

The participant’s guide features some devotional questions for students, then leaders’ notes with large group activities, small group questions… all you need for a full four-week evangelism curriculum.

In short, this training will encourage Christian teenagers to live authentic lives and gives them tools to reach out to their friends in ways that won’t give them cold sweats! The message is simple: an authentic faith creates opportunities to talk about Jesus.

CLICK HERE TO GET THIS TRAINING FOR LESS THAN $20

When Youth Ministries Involve Parents

Posted on: 04/22/12 9:51 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m a big advocate of youth ministries trying to provide venues where parents and teenagers interact, bond and even laugh together. Youth workers can be proactive about creating these kinds of venues—like PARENT NIGHT, FAMILY NIGHT or even MOTHER/DAUGHTER events.

That’s what Amber did. That’s why I asked her to write a guest post and give you a taste of what she did.

Amber is a volunteer youth worker in “nowhere” Nebraska. Trust me… it’s really in the middle of nowhere. I met Amber for the first time face-to-face a few weeks ago when I taught a parent workshop at her church in Nebraska. It was amazing to see so many from their rural community come out—great fun! After the workshop, Amber pulled me aside and thanked me for so many of the free resources we’ve been providing to youth workers like her for years, including an up-front game she had just used on a parent night- Battle of the Generations. The more she shared, the more I realized that she had a lot of fun ideas to offer. So I asked Amber to share a little about some of the evenings she planned and maybe let us know some of the specific activities she used.

So here’s a fun little guest post from front lines Nebraska youth worker, Amber:

Hey Jonathan,

You suggested I send an e-mail about some of the activities and games we have enjoyed on our parent/teenager nights, so here it is.  I also plan to put some reviews on the website.  LOVE all the games, thanks so much!!

I have used the “Parent Game” from your “Parent Night” and “Battle of the Generations” in our yearly Family Night event, and both the kids and the parents have loved it. I also recently did a purity retreat with girls and their moms, and we did our own version of the “Parent Game”. The girls were having so much fun that they were actually begging me to keep playing the game. I told them I didn’t have any more questions, but they asked me to make up some more so they could keep playing. I think they really enjoy learning new things about their moms, especially when the other girls are doing the same thing. I also think they enjoy it when they see how well their mom knows them!

Here is our version of the Mom/Daughter game:
Each person had some paper and a marker (small marker boards would work great here) and wrote their answer, then everyone held up their papers at the same time.  This saves lots of time and is much more fun than having one group leave the room.

QUESTIONS FOR MOMS

  • What is your daughters favorite color of toenail polish?
  • If you could throw away one thing from your daughter’s closet, what would it be?
  • If you had to guess one guy in your daughter’s class that she might marry, who would it be?
  • If you and your daughter were on a road trip together, who would have to stop for a bathroom break first?
  • If she had to pick today, what colors would your daughter pick for her wedding?

QUESTIONS FOR DAUGHTERS

  • What were the colors at your parents wedding?
  • What is your mom’s favorite movie?
  • What is the coolest car your mom ever drove?
  • What is your mom’s favorite day of the week?
  • Who was your mom’s best friend in high school?
  • How many times per day does your mom check her Facebook page?

We also love your “Dance Dance Evolution” game and “Time Check” game for our Family Nights.

I also plan to give away copies of your parent book, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, at our next Family Night! 🙂

Thanks again,

~Amber Thornton

Thanks Amber! Those are some awesome ideas that might get our own creative juices flowing!

What about you?
Have you tried these kinds of venues with parents?

What worked well?

What didn’t work well?

Vote for Your Favorite Video

Posted on: 04/16/12 5:25 PM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s time for you to vote on the best “bad evangelism” video.

This fun little contest launched with the approach of my brand new evangelism curriculum, REAL CONVERSATIONS, which will be on the shelves in less than a month now (you might have already noticed it on sale on our web site right now for just $19.49, which is $10 off). I’m really excited about this curriculum. I’ve been getting emails for years from people who couldn’t afford to fly somebody out for the weekend to train their student leaders, asking me about some good “do-it-yourself” training options. Now here’s a four-week full curriculum for less than $20 –on our site– that will help you motivate and equip your kids to reach out. It has four sessions on DVD plus individual study guides for the teenagers, and a leaders guide that includes large group activities, small group questions… everything you need! Not too shabby.

Since the DVD training includes some vignettes about “how NOT to share your faith,” Youth Specialties announced this training with a “Bad Evangelism” contest. Youth groups submitted videos, and YS selected four finalists.

Watch the four finalists and vote here–quite a variety to choose from. The first one, the “Evangelism Linebacker” was probably the most polished and commercial-like. But the second one really captured some snapshots of evangelism blunders that might be a little too real for many youth groups. Kudos to them for the forethought that went into this video. The third one was more of a look at bad evangelism from the pulpit (Really funny for a home-made video… I love the organ). The fourth was another creative idea of how NOT to share.

In general, it looks like youth groups really had a fun time with this little contest. Hopefully it spurred some thinking about how to really have these kinds of “real conversations.”

Cast your vote. Voting is from now until 4/23.