Sexting “Banned” in Texas

Posted on: 08/31/09 12:05 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Now sexting is banned in a Texas school.

Hmmmmmm. I can just picture the conversations now.

“Hey Blake, do ya want me to send you a picture of me naked?”

“Well Amber, I would have wanted that last week… but now the school has banned it, so we better not.”

I’m not knocking it… I’m just chuckling at the fact that we have to put that policy in print. Don’t get me wrong. I actually agree. But it’s just like I always tell my kids when they get busted doing something that I had never actually never prohibited. “Yes Alec, you’re right. I never outright told you that you couldn’t hang the dog over the balcony by his back legs. But I would have hoped that common sense would have kicked in on this one!”

Well, for some kids, apparently common sense hasn’t kicked in. That’s why a Houston school has put the policy in print. Here’s a snippet of last week’s Washington Post article:

At 19, Melanie Young knows firsthand about the devastating consequences of sexting.

Too bad she didn’t learn her lesson sooner.

“I thought it was fun and just a way of flirting,” the McKinney resident said of sending a nude photo of herself to a male friend when she was 16. “I sent it to someone that I thought I could trust.”

Turns out she couldn’t. The person she sent the picture to promptly forwarded it to others. She was stunned when she went to school soon after and a classmate showed her the embarrassing photo on his cellphone. Other students saw it, too.

One in every five teenagers say they have electronically sent, or posted online, nude or semi-nude images of themselves, according to a 2008 survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

And while some youths may see “sexting” – sending sexually suggestive or indecent text messages or pictures – as harmless fun, some Texans are beginning to take steps to stop them.

(the entire article about banning sexting)

For more about sexting, check out our recent Youth Culture Window article on the subject.

 

Good Girls Go Bad

Posted on: 08/27/09 4:32 PM | by Jonathan McKee

David and I try to keep our thumb on the pulse of the music charts as much as we can, understanding that music is a huge influence on teenagers today.

The charts have been in my blog quite a bit lately, with Drake’s explicit Best I Ever Had, and the Black Eyed Peas’ racy I Gotta Feeling both in the top 10.

Earlier this week Dave gave me the heads up about a new song that has crept its way up into Billboard’s and iTunes Top 10. The song is called Good Girls Go Bad, by a group called Cobra Starship (no relation to Jefferson).

David researched the song and has written a Youth Culture Window article about the song, the lyrics, the video and the group.

Here’s just a snippet:

The song employs an interesting “symmetry.” Saporta sings a verse about his coercion capabilities on the opposite sex, and moments later, the female vocalist affirms a very similar sentiment. Like a snake responding to a charmer, the girl plays her part…right into his hands. Take a look for yourself.
 
(male singer)
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go
Good girls go bad, good girls go bad
 
I know your type, you’re daddy’s little girl
Just take a bite (one bite)
Let me shake up your world
‘Cause just one night couldn’t be so wrong
I’m gonna make you lose control
 
(female singer)
I know your type, boy you’re dangerous
You’re that guy I’d be stupid to trust
But just one night couldn’t be so wrong
You make me wanna lose control

The entire article will be featured on our front page and on the YOUTH CULTURE WINDOW page all this coming week.

You’re the BLEEP Best

Posted on: 08/18/09 10:20 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Yep… that’s the chorus of the number three song on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart right now. Amazing.

The song is by Drake. It’s called, Best I Ever Had and the chorus features him simply repeating, “You’re the f**king best…”  Creative, huh?

Sigh.

The music video starts with a slow motion shot of huge breasted women running onto a basketball court, with their merchandise swaying to and fro in slow motion.

I’m working on my parenting workshop this morning– I preach at a church this weekend, then I get two hours with parents from the church that afternoon. As part of my Parenting the Texting Generation workshop I always update them with the current songs and videos that their kids have access to. I can only sigh as I’m looking at the Top 10 this morning with “I Gotta Feeling” still at number one (I ranted about that to you last week) and now Drake’s Best I Ever Had as number three.

It never fails. Whenever I do this parenting workshop a large number of the top 10 songs are explicit, over-sexualized or raunchy. And the response from the parents is always the same. They are shocked and had no idea that these messages were in the top songs. Furthermore, they had no idea that iTunes and YouTube provide easy access to most of these songs and videos.

Another funny note: The CLEAN version of the song. You see… if you look up Best I Ever Had on iTunes there is the Explicit Version and the CLEAN version. Do it… I encourage you to do that search. Then click on the CLEAN version, double click the song and listen to the 30 second free preview of the “clean lyrics.” Here’s what you’ll hear:

I know you got a roommate, call me when there’s no one there
Put the key under the mat, and you know I’ll be over there
I’ll be over there, shawty, I’ll be over there
I’ll be hitting all the spots that you ain’t even know was there

If you don’t know what “hitting” means, I encourage you to look up “hit it” in our slang dictionary.

I look forward to my time with parents this weekend.

Look Mom, no cuss words! It must be clean!

Posted on: 07/2/09 4:53 PM | by Jonathan McKee

More and more I’m finding that many parents have no clue what content their kids are watching day to day.

  “But I use CYBERPATROL and block out porn sites from our home computer!”

  “But I block those movie channels on our cable!”

That’s what they always say. Then I ask, “Do you have iTunes?… YouTube?… MTV?”

I admit… it’s sad when we have to set up so many safeguards to protect our children. And I’m sure some parents over-react and over-protect… while others remain too lenient. I can’t provide you with an exact recipe of where that balance lies, but I can tell you that it starts with becoming aware.

Do you know what the most popular song on iTunes is right now?

Is it explicit?

Have you seen the video?

You see, those nice little “Explicit Lyrics” labels might help us filter out some music, but what will help us discern the appropriateness of the “clean” music? (that’s what our kids call the music without the explicit lyrics labels)

Let’s use the #1 song on iTunes right now as an example. It’s “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas.

Ask your kids, “Is this song clean?”

“Yes mom! See. No explicit lyrics!”

Are they right? Have you done your parental duty?

Jump on iTunes right now and take a listen. If you listen for a minute or so, it sounds innocent enough. Rather catchy too.

Are you done? Okay… maybe not.

Listen to the whole song, or jump to Google and type in “I Gotta Feeling lyrics.”

Oh my!

This is a little more disconcerting. Listen at almost two minutes when Fergie kicks in:

I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Lets go way out spaced out
and loosing all control

Fill up my cup
Mazal tov
Look at her dancing
just take it off

Wow. Maybe you didn’t catch that listening to it the first time.

But let’s be honest. Some parents might think that this is still pretty tame. Okay. Let’s do what the majority of kids do and look at the video. Jump to Google, YouTube or MTV.com. It doesn’t matter… kids use them all. Type “I Gotta Feeling Video and you’ll find it within one click. Now take a quick watch. I warn you- this video has no nudity, no sex and no cursing in it. So, it’s clean, right? Take a peek. Seriously, don’t just stop at Fergie in a thong… watch the whole thing! (Once you watch this, please don’t email me and complain that I told you to watch this. If you think this will be a temptation- do this with someone else in the room.) Remember that most your web filters won’t filter this video, because “it’s clean.”

Here’s my point: many parents I talk to have taken steps to block porn, and most good parents monitor the types of films that their kids watch… but I meet very few parents that have any idea what subtle messages are being fed to our kids through the “clean” media channels daily.

Please understand. I’m not saying that we should raise our kids in a dungeon listening to Psalty’s Christmas Special. I’m not even saying to unplug your computer from the wall or block your Disney channel. I’m just trying to advocate a little bit of education for parents about the lies our kids are hearing every day. The number one hit we just glanced at above has some pretty sensual images in the video that a teenage guy will really struggle seeing. And the song’s message of “letting it go” and “losing control” might hit home for a lot of teenagers.

Is this a good message? Is this the message you want your kids listening to?

Educate yourself. Tune into our Youth Culture Window articles. These articles reveal you the truth about subjects like the place that some teens are getting their sex advice, they give you a summary of the “junk” (literally) your kids would have seen watching the MTV Movie Awards this year, and they expose the subtle messages in today’s PG-13 films. This huge collection of articles contains a gold mine of good information for parents.

In our parent seminars, David and I try to not only expose these subtle media messages that our kids are immersing themselves with, but we also try to teach parents how to filter these influences and teach our kids discernment.

Dialogue with your kids about their media choices. You’ll find that most kids today are pretty honest.

What are your kids exposing themselves too?

Another Transformers Disappointment

Posted on: 06/27/09 9:14 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This last week our movie guy Todd reviewed the new Transformers film. Like most critics, he thought the film stunk. But I thought you’d be curious of some of the reasoning behind Todd’s assessment.

Let me back way up. A year and a half ago Todd and I did our first annual Special Movie Review Podcast, a special episode where the two of us talked about movies from the perspective of two youth workers. We reviewed some films, talked about the best “clean” films that you could actually show at youth group, etc. It was a fun podcast.

One of the memorable moments of the podcasts was when we disagreed about the first Transformers film. He loved it, and I didn’t have much good to say about it. My main concern was the subtle messages that degraded women. You can check out that podcast if you want to hear my rant.

Regardless, I was a little skeptical as I saw Transformers II approaching, its previews full of Megan Fox eye-candy.

Apparently my suspicions weren’t far from the truth.

Here’s a few comments from Todd’s review:

Megan Fox seems to only have one agenda: more sexuality. I mean, when the first time we see her and she is bent over a motorcycle with a short pair of Daisy Dukes, what are we suppose to think? And I had to laugh at the countless slow-motion-Baywatch style running scenes she had. To make it worse, we have a new Transformer that can change into a human…and of course she has to be another bombshell. She “seduces” Sam but when Mikaela finds them together in his dorm, he tries to get away…so the Transformer whips her 100ft metal tongue around his neck…

His entire review here.

Posted in Movies, Sexuality |  | Leave A Comment

Surprised Once Again By MTV

Posted on: 06/3/09 9:37 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Those of you who are EZINE subscribers saw the article yesterday-it’s all over the front page of our web site. It was time for my annual recap of the MTV MOVIE AWARDS, aired last Sunday night. I recap this vulgar show every year to give us a glimpse of the easy-access programming that teenagers are watching. And every year I ask church teenagers the following week, “Did you see the MTV MOVIE AWARDS?” Over 50% say yes. 

And this year?

Wow! Just when I thought it couldn’t get much worse.

I think I was the most shocked when there was a commercial for “Balls Out Comedy” coming to MTV, and they showed a skateboarder skating with “something” hanging out of his pants. It’s hard to even describe this. This is MTV… so they can’t show nudity, right? But they literally showed the words “Balls Out Comedy” across the screen, and then a video of a guy with his “junk” hanging out of his pants- pixelated, so we couldn’t see the details.

And this was just a commerical that ran during the show. The show… sigh. Plenty of “junk” in that show as well.

Catch my entire recap here.

Set Your Recorders…

Posted on: 05/29/09 1:54 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I don’t tell you to set your DVR’s (and VCR’s) very often. But this Sunday night is one of those times I think it’s worth it.

Three times a year a show comes on TV that gives you a glimpse of the role models (or lack thereof) that your kids are watching and emulating. One of those shows is this Sunday’s MTV Movie Awards. (the other two shows are the MTV VMAs, and the Teen Choice Awards)

David wrote this week’s Youth Culture Window to give us a glimpse of what to expect this year from this “typically- racy” show. Here’s a glimpse at David’s… er… glimpse:    

The Golden Popcorn Crowd
A Glimpse of Our Kid’s Role Models from the 2009 MTV MOVIE AWARDS

An article from David R. Smith

If only we could choose our kids’ role models…

This Sunday night, we’ll get a pretty accurate glimpse of our teens’ role models. Andy Samberg. Lil Wayne. Eminem. Put the kids to bed…it’s time for the annual MTV Movie Awards.

The 2009 MTV Movie Awards
Broadcasting live from Los Angeles on May 31st at 9:00pm (EST), the MTV Movie Awards will bring in millions of young viewers from all across the country (and world). Teenagers will not only tune in to see the on-stage antics of A-List celebrities and the live performances of today’s biggest stars, but also to see who wins the Golden Popcorn…the “award” given to winners for categories such as “Best Kiss,” “Best Villain,” and “Best Movie,” to name a few.

With all the movie stars and music icons that will hit the stage this year, along with the fact that viewers actually get to select the winners, teenagers will have tons of reasons to watch this year. And that means you probably have a good reason to watch, as well.

Big Names…As Usual
MTV is bringing out the big guns this year. Andy Samberg, one of Gen Y’s favorite personas from Saturday Night Live, will be hosting the event. Samberg is the guy who brought us those wonderful toe-tappin’ tunes like “D–k in a Box” and “J–z in My Pants,” (which was one of the top music videos on iTunes when it was released), and the most recent digital short featuring Justin Timberlake which has the chorus, “We should f*** each other’s mother.”

But Samberg won’t be the only star on stage. He’ll be surrounded by other big names who’ll function as presenters throughout the evening. Lil Wayne (winner of Best Hip Hop video from 2008 VMA’s), Will Ferrell (Talladega Nights), Denzel Washington, Cameron Diaz, Ryan Reynolds, Vanessa Hudgens, Jonah Hill, Sandra Bullock, Dwayne Johnson (a.k.a. The Rock), and Channing Tatum (Star Trek) are just a few of the celebs that will grab the mic to pass out the popcorn…

Katy Perry Does It Again

Posted on: 05/15/09 6:52 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last week Katy Perry made a guest appearance on American Idol, elevating yet another one of her songs to the top of the charts, Waking Up in Vegas. Not a bad marketing move for Perry. Most people that appear on Idol are on the charts days to follow. No exception here, as of today the song is #5 most downloaded song on iTunes and the #10 most downloaded video. (Monday morning update- now #2 downloaded song on iTunes)

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems that Idol‘s content this year has been a little less “family friendly.” Not the contestants… but the guest stars. Just a few weeks ago Jamie Foxx sang the song, Blame It (you decide what you think of the lyrics). This week, Katy did her thing. Sure… these songs meet the standards of what is “acceptable” for T.V… but parents should probably make the decision of what is really acceptable for their kids’ ears.

Katy’s song started with these lyrics

You gotta help me out
It’s all a blur last night
We need a taxi ’cause you’re
Hung over and I’m broke

I lost my fake ID
But you lost the motel key
Spare me your freaking
Dirty looks now don’t blame me

You wanna cash out
And get the hell outta town
Don’t be a baby
Remember what you told me

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is
That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas…

Nice. Huh?

Katy’s background is interesting, a flop as a Christian singer who adjusted her content to go mainstream. I blogged about her before when her I Kissed a Girl song first came out (and received heated responses from internet readers), she’s definitely one to keep your eyes on. Her journey as a young artist is reminding me of Madonna’s legacy– creative, controversial, and sexual… just what young people want to hear.

It would be nice to think that our kids are not hearing this music outside of our houses… but, think again. My son came home from school yesterday and announced, “Guess what song they (the school) were playing at lunch today. If You Seek Amy.” (If you’re not familiar with that song… you’ll want to read this article)  The song wasn’t edited. The school plays songs as long as they aren’t “explicit.” (and that song only ‘spells’ the F word… it doesn’t say it. Nice!) This isn’t my first experience with this kind of music slipping under the radar at my kids’ schools.

So how should we respond?

Unfortunately, a letter to your congressman will probably do very little. But David offers parents and youth workers some advice at the bottom of our past Youth Culture Window article on the subject– check it out for more about the lyrics our kids hear, how the lyrics affect them, and how we should respond.

Miley’s Reaction to Miss California

Posted on: 04/28/09 12:14 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Most of us are aware of Miss California’s statement about Gay Marriage. But how many of us have heard what Miley said just days after? Read below… because I want your feedback!

It all started when Miss California, Carrie Prejean, answered a question about same sex marriages. I quote:

“We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what in my country, in my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be, between a man and a woman.”

You can read all about it here.

As a guy who is very sensitive about this issue (because we as Christians have really messed up and said hateful and judgmental things), I was actually really pleased with Miss California’s response. I think she was not condemning, and at the same time, she shared her honest opinion based on her Biblical values. She has come across really strong through this whole ordeal.

I’m not going to debate the issue in this blog. I’ve shared my two cents on the homosexuality issue before in blogs and articles. But I was very interested in Miley’s response to this whole thing.

I keep an eye on Miley because… well… most of the young girls of this nation are doing the same. Miley has had some ups and downs in the press. She is a proclaimed believer, and I think she’s been a pretty good role model overall.

A couple days after Miss California’s comments, Miley twittered about the subject. Her words:

“Jesus loves you and your partner and wants you to know how much he cares! That’s like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz he’s gay and that is wrong and very sad! Like I said everyone deserves to be happy. I am a Christian and I love you — gay or not. Because you are no different that anyone else! We are all God’s children!”  (MTV News)

Hmmmmmm.

We, as Christians need to follow Christ’s example on this issue. That means

1. Showing love and compassion.

2. Pointing to the truth in love (not changing our morals to be politically correct)

Unfortunately, we (Christians) have failed on both extremes in recent years (you’ve heard me rant about this recently).

Where do you think Miley’s comments fall?

Pose Nude… Wait… Don’t! Post Pics… Wait… Don’t!

Posted on: 04/16/09 11:06 AM | by Jonathan McKee

And we wonder why our kids are making bad decisions.

Let me start by highlighting a story from my son’s high school that made national news. I’m referring to the cheerleading coach, Carlie Beck, that was just fired after it was discovered that she posed nude for Playboy.

The website of one of my local Sacramento news stations reports the story with feedback from  parents. One parent, Sue Feather, said…

…she felt sorry for Beck, but added it was a lesson for students, including her own freshman daughter at Casa Roble.

“Be careful what you get out there because it will follow you all the way through your life. And this is a great example for this gal and it’s a great teaching moment as a mom for my child,” Feather said.

I guess life is just full of these examples right now… ask your local Dominos Pizza employee (that article here).

Hmmmm.

So it seems that today’s message from the media is simply, “Be careful what you take pictures of!”

Is this the correct message? Is this even the message our kids always here? I’m not sure. Because just a little while ago Jennifer Aniston got naked on the front of GQ magazine and CNN said, “Good for her!” (I blogged about that here.)

Everyone has a different opinion on what’s okay. Cheerleading coach Beck added her two cents to the issue. Take it from her, I quote from the Sacramento Bee this morning:

“As far as Playboy pictures, people categorize them as being pornographic,” she said. “I kind of disagree. I think it’s artistic … We all shower naked. We all do a lot of things naked.”

Wow… it’s hard to ever respond to that. (So many cheerleader jokes are coming to mind right now…)

Joking aside… our kids are probably a little confused. Which is it? “Shame on you!” or “Good for you!” Our kids certainly don’t know…

…which leads to this article, Vermont Lawmakers Look to Legalize Teen ‘Sexting.’  I’ve heard both sides of the issue, and maybe child pornography charges might sound severe… but come on folks. What are our kids to think when we’re actually going as far as passing laws saying, “It’s now legal for kids to send graphic sexual images of ourselves to each other.”

Sigh.

So what can we take away from all of this?

Parents… let’s talk with our kids. Engage in healthy conversations about these issues. Use life lessons like these to dialogue about integrity, character and the consequences of our behavior. Don’t be afraid to use discussion starters that point to the Biblical truth about these issues.

Or… you could leave it up to the media to teach these lessons.

You choose.