Getting People to Open Up

Posted on: 12/17/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Sometimes it’s hard to get people to open up in a group setting. In these situations, nothing proves more effective than a creative question.

“If you had to have the exact same meal for the next twelve months… what would you choose?”

It’s amazing how fun questions provoke people to open up.

These questions might simply begin with: “Lets go around the circle and each of us share…”

I’ve done it with teenagers in small group settings:

“Let’s go around the circle and each share our high and low of the week.”

“If you could repeat any day of your life, what would that be?”

“If you could go back in time to before you went to high school/junior high and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?”

I’ve done it with my own kids:  (15, 17 and 19)

“If you could go on vacation anywhere and bring just one person, where would you choose and who would you bring?”

“If you could have one superpower, what would you choose and what would you use it for?”

“What was the last thing you cried about?”

I’ve done it with adults at a board meeting or Bible study:

“Let’s go around the circle and each share your name and something about the shoes you’re wearing.”

“If you were stuck in an elevator for 24 hours with one person, who would you like that person to be?”

“Describe your most embarrassing moment.”

These little discussion questions seem to always bring a laugh and give everyone a little peak into each other’s lives.

What about you? What are some of your favorite questions to ask in these scenarios?

The Hobbit Premiere

Posted on: 12/14/12 10:35 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last night my family attended The Hobbit midnight premiere, with my three kids in full Hobbit apparel. Loved the movie and the time with my family… hated the time of day! (I think I’m officially old)

A few months ago my girls asked me if they could go to The Hobbit midnight premiere. As a parent these questions are always difficult. I don’t want my kids out at midnight, and I’m not too happy about it being on a school night (Thursday night). But as a parent, I’ve learned to pick my battles, as well as seizing any moment where we have an opportunity to hang out together. So when they asked, I simply replied, “Sure, I’ll go with you… and you can’t miss school the next day.”

They readily agreed.

My kids’ first midnight movie premiere was Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Such a fun experience! Earlier this year, the kids and I talked Lori into going with us to The Avengers midnight premiere. Another amazing movie watching experience—many of you remember my blog post about the late night adventure. So, a chance at hanging with the whole family, watching the newest film from a series I love? No question.

We knew that the nerd community would really come out of the woodworks for this one, so we decided to grab a fast food dinner and get into line at 8PM. When we arrived at the theatre, the line had only 38 people in it, lined up outside on the sidewalk. We spread out some blankets and got as comfy as possible on the sidewalk. Alec provoked a few cheers with his bare hobbit feet and pointy ears, but soon we were all covered with blankets trying to deal with temperature in the low 30’s. (Remember, this is California, that’s like below 0 for the rest of the country!!!)

We quickly received word that we’d get let into the theatre about 9PM so we could endure the 3-hour wait indoors. At 9PM sharp they opened the doors, and we grabbed 5 seats together in about the 5th row of the stadium seats. Great seats.

Ashley and I did a Wal Mart run and bought some magazines and a couple books (our plans to play games hadn’t worked out sitting in a row of theater chairs).

Time passed rather quickly, and soon the film started.

We opted to see the regular version of the film, not 3D (because I hate 3D). Alec had already screened the 3D version and after seeing the premiere, he attested that the regular version is WAAAAAY better.

Our theatre never got to see an extended Star Trek preview, like my friend Mark Matlock and others tweeted about. I wasn’t too disappointed, I was just eager to get to The Hobbit.

All five of us really enjoyed the movie. I don’t have much to add to Alec’s official review of the film, already posted on our Movie Reviews & Quick Q’s page, other than the fact that all five of us felt like it was an amazing continuation of the LOTR trilogy and we will definitely be adding this film to our blu-ray collection.

After the film, we drove home, groaning like a herd of zombies and finally crawling into bed at about 5 minutes to 4AM.

My poor girls had to get up at 6AM to get ready for school (so glad Alyssa drives!!!!). That was part of the deal. No missing school the next day (no mercy from this dad).

Well… they are the ones that asked to go to this thing!!!

What iTunes Reveals about Teenagers

Posted on: 12/5/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.                                              -Matthew 6:21

If you want a glimpse into the window of youth culture, just take a peek at the music they’re buying. Lucky for us, you have access to an ongoing meter revealing the top-selling songs at any given moment. I’m referring to iTunes, the online music, TV and movie store that comes on all these online devices at the top of our kids’ Christmas lists.

This weekend I’m traveling to Kentucky to teach my last parenting workshop of the year. At these workshops, I always provide a quick tour of today’s music, TV and other media. This “tour” always includes a peek into iTunes. So today I popped onto iTunes to familiarize myself with what people are listening to this week (With the YS National Youth Workers Convention and Thanksgiving, it’s actually been a month since I’ve taught a parent workshop). It’s amazing how much you can learn about current pop culture in just a glimpse.

Let’s take a quick peek!

5 Observations about Our Culture from Today’s iTunes

1. TV is Still Huge!
Yes, when you open iTunes, the focus is music. Note the top singles listed on the right hand side of iTunes main page. But on any fall Tuesday morning, a quick peek at those top singles will reveal the power of television. This Tuesday morning, 5 of the top 10 singles were performances from last night’s episode of NBC’s hit TV show, The Voice.

A quick peek at TV ratings will reveal The Voice already is one of the top 5 shows watched by America in any given week (it usually lands at No. 3, right under The Walking Dead and football, and always lands among the top 10 shows watched by 12-17 year-olds). But The Voice isn’t limited to a one-screen experience. Following the steps of American Idol, The Voice sells its performances on iTunes immediately after the show Continue reading “What iTunes Reveals about Teenagers”

Does My Daughter Dress Slutty?

Posted on: 11/29/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Most parents of teenage girls all have one struggle in common: the consistent battle over wardrobe!

Two weekends ago I met with a handful of youth workers, and one of them was a mom of two teenage daughters. I, a dad of two teenage daughters, was immediately engaged when she mentioned how difficult it was monitoring her daughter’s wardrobe.

She divulged, “We finally decided, no Yoga pants out of the house.”

I laughed. “I just had the yoga pants battle last week with my daughters. We established, only if they were wearing a sweater that completely covered the butt. But then when they were trying on sweaters, the argument was Continue reading “Does My Daughter Dress Slutty?”

Parents Publicly Shame Daughter

Posted on: 11/27/12 2:30 PM | by Jonathan McKee

We’ve all been in that awkward situation where we witness a parent publicly discipline or even shame their kid.

How far is too far?

This CNN News report reveals one couple’s approach to disciplining their teenager:

(click here if you don’t see the embedded video)

So what do you think? Was this too much? Why? What did you notice? What should have the parents done?

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My Artistic Skills

Posted on: 11/26/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Every year when we break out the Christmas ornaments… my kids start making fun of my baby Jesus.

Yes. I made it… when I was about 10 years old! It was a church ornament-making party and I made this amazing Baby Jesus ornament with my excellent, artistic, ornament-making skills!

My kids weren’t impressed. In fact, they’ve come up with some really mean names for this ornament over the years.

Come on… it’s not that bad… or is it? (note the curly-cue)

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Raising Kids When Divorce Gets Ugly

Posted on: 11/7/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I have a good friend who got married recently, and one of her wedding gifts was… two teenagers.

That’s right, she married a divorced man who has partial custody of two teenagers. My friend drove out to one of my parenting workshops and told me, “I better learn this stuff quick, because I skipped diapers and Sesame Street, landing right in the middle of MTV!”

It was this friend of mine who prompted me to provide some resources for parents who were raising their kids in divorced homes Continue reading “Raising Kids When Divorce Gets Ugly”

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An Excuse to Be Slutty

Posted on: 11/1/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Did you notice it this Halloween and the weeks prior? From the magazine ads and display windows of stores at the mall, to the costume parties across the nation. Halloween has become an excuse for girls to dress slutty.

I think Elizabeth Durand summarized this mindset well in the opening line of her article, Slutty Halloween Costumes for Nice Girls. She said:

“Every hot-blooded American girl knows Halloween is really just an excuse to dress like a tramp without being judged. Duh.”

Today’s sit coms seem to echo this mindset. In the hit show Big Bang Theory (3rd most popular show last week), Penny wore a particularly trampy police-girl outfit. Her friend asks her, “Slutty cop?” Penny replied, “No, this is sexy copy. Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.”

In the brand new show Ben and Kate, Kate’s friend BJ discusses hooking up with a guy during Halloween, assuring Kate that this holiday is the one time a year it’s okay to dress like a whore.

It’s sexualization at it’s finest, and sadly, teenager girls are gobbling it up.

If you don’t believe me, just jump on Party City’s most popular costume section on their website, something I’ve blogged about in years past. Look at some of these popular teen costumes this year:

Seriously? “Snow Bunny”? She’ll freeze!

“Unicorn”? It’s just a slutty teenager with a horn on her head!

“Sassy Sailor”? Really? Sigh…

Girls are learning young Continue reading “An Excuse to Be Slutty”

Can I Smash My Daughter’s Cell Phone- PART II

Posted on: 10/31/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

We’ve set guardrails, including some really well thought out cell phone boundaries that should be no problem for our kids to follow. But for some reason they keep pushing the limits.

That’s what ‘Dave’ explained to me, asking me for advice about what to do with his daughter. (See yesterday’s post, PART I)

Dave’s not alone. Young people today love their cell phones; but as handy as these digital Swiss-army-knives are… they can also be vehicles of distraction in our kids’ lives.

So how should we respond when our kids break our rules and veer from the guardrails we’ve set?

Dave’s daughter seems to be Continue reading “Can I Smash My Daughter’s Cell Phone- PART II”

Can I Smash My Daughter’s Cell Phone? PART I

Posted on: 10/29/12 4:22 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Teenage cell phone use… er… misuse is the hot subject on parents’ minds. Teenagers are pushing the limits, and parents are questioning how to respond. My parent workshop last night was no exception.

After teaching my workshops, I always enjoy the chance to mingle with parents and listen to their struggles. Last night parent after parent approached me sharing a common plight:

“I’m having fits with my teenager and his/her cell phone!”

I assured each one of them Continue reading “Can I Smash My Daughter’s Cell Phone? PART I”