Geriatric Britney Fans

Posted on: 03/11/10 7:21 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Earlier this week I was swimming laps at my local pool (some of you might remember my blog about when I first began doing this with my kids). Sometimes it’s hard to time it right– there are a lot of other activities and clubs that use the pool. Sometimes we end up on one side of the pool doing laps in a few lane lines, while water aerobics claim the other half of the pool. That’s what happened this week. I was swimming laps while about 14 sweet little ol’ ladies were being led through a 30-minute water aerobics workout on the other side of the pool.

I wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on. But during some kickboard laps I had my head out of the water long enough to hear the music selection… and you’ll never guess what it was! (okay… the title of the blog does give ya a hint!)

I didn’t expect Lawrence Welk… I mean… this is water aerobics. I would expect something with rythm. But I didn’t expect Britney’s song, If You Seek Amy!

Yeah. No kidding. Here are a group of sweet little old 80 and 90 year old ladies dancing to the lyrics:

love me hate me say what you want about me
but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to EF – U – C – K me.

Then, for those of you who have read the lyrics or are aware of the song… you hear the digital voice in the background saying “f**k me, f**k me.”

I actually stopped and looked over to see if any of them realized what they were dancing to. I don’t think they did.

The aerobics instructor, a young 30-something woman, went on to play Black Eyed Peas and a bunch of other current music with no regard to content. I chuckled and went back to my workout. I guess I was correct when I wrote, “No Wonder Our Kids Listen to It.”

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised with this at all in today’s culture. Adults are readily embracing racy and degrading lyrics. Earlier this week rapper Ludacris filled in for Regis on the Regis and Kelly show. I checked out about 20 minutes of the show. Kelly went on and on about how she had all of Luda’s CDs, etc. Think about this. Kelly is a mom, my age listening to Ludacris lyrics. I can’t help but just wonder, Has she ever stopped and thought about what Ludachris is rapping about? I guess she doesn’t mind being referred to as a “bi*ch” or a “ho.”

She obviously doesn’t mind the way his girls dance.

Hmmmmmm.

Sigh.

Vandal Changes Atheist Billboard

Posted on: 02/16/10 7:39 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… I know… vandalism is not cool.

But admittedly, I’m biased…

…and this was pretty funny.

Last week I posted a blog about some atheist and agnostic groups that have purchased billboards around my city and others. Today’s Sacramento Bee has an update on that story:

The billboard along Interstate 80 between Sacramento and Davis once read “Are you good without God? Millions are.”

But recently, somebody scaled the big sign and spray painted “also lost?” after “Millions are.”

“Millions are also lost?” Sorry… I shouldn’t laugh… but that’s funny.

(ht to Jengland)

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Nashville, TN

Posted on: 01/8/10 5:15 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m at the airport right now getting ready to board a plane to Denver, then onto Nashville. I’ll be spending two days there teaching my Connect Workshop to a group of youth workers and taking them through my “sticky-note” exercise. John, the youth pastor at this particular church, bought each of the members of his team of volunteers my brand new Connect book, and now he’s bringing me out to train them how to connect with kids.

I’m really excited about this weekend for several reasons:

FIRST… when I get to Nashville, John is taking me out to get some authentic Bar BQ. For those of you not familiar with “real Bar BQ,” I warn you, someone from TN might just set you straight. From my last few trips to TN I learned that Bar BQ means only one thing: pulled pork on a bun. There’s only one question they ask you. “Do you want slaw on it?” (Which I always answer, “No.”) The first time I was in TN and someone mentioned Bar BQ, I said, “Bar BQed what?” They replied, “See, out there in California y’all think that Bar BQ is a verb. Bar BQ is a noun and it means one thing: pulled pork on a bun.” So I asked them. “What is it that I do to my burgers then when I throw them on my Weber grill?” They told me, “You grill them.”

Funny, in Texas they informed me that the TN folk got it wrong. Yes, Bar BQ is a verb, but it means the slow cooking of any meat. So now I get a kick out of asking people what Bar BQ means in their state.

Just added: Joseph just linked this video in the comments below to help us clear up any confusion on Bar BQ… hilarious!

(click here for the video if you don’t see it embedded above)

SECOND… the second thing I’m excited about this weekend is that I just love training adults, and that’s all we’re doing this weekend– training adult youth workers. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy sharing the WORD with students. But I think of it this way. The last group of students I spoke too had about 300 of them in the room. The last time I trained adults there were a little less than 200. But when I trained those 200 adults, I could see the excitement as each of those adults left the room, excited about connecting with maybe 5 or 10 students. Do the math. If each of only 150 adults makes an impact in just 5 kids that year… that’s 750 kids impacted this year… not including any students that they’ll go on to impact in the future. I love equipping adults to love kids and share Christ’s love! This weekend will be dedicated to that!

THIRD… I’m training tonight (Friday), then Saturday, then hopping on a plane Saturday afternoon and getting back to my family by Saturday night, going to my own church on Sunday a.m. Love it when that happens!

Gotta go… about to board. Hmmmmm…. already thinkin’ about that Bar BQ!  🙂

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Bella’s Mom

Posted on: 12/28/09 11:57 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… my friend/co-worker David is hilarious.

He emailed me the link to the following video with only these words: “Bella’s Mom”

If you haven’t seen the new Twilight film, The New Moon, or listened to Todd and I rant about it on our new movie review podcast… David’s comment won’t make sense (basically, in The New Moon, Bella becomes irritatingly over-emotional) … but you’ll still find this video hilarious.

(if you can’t see the video- click here to view it)

Wow!

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Top 10 Christmas Gifts NOT to Get Your Wife

Posted on: 12/24/09 8:48 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas, so I’ll do it in the way I know how… with an incredibly stupid video!

I don’t know how many of you saw this fun little video we made last year… sure to offend some!  🙂  It’s a list of Christmas shopping tips for husbands, but for those that miss the cynicism, this should be titled, “The Top 10 Christmas Gift Ideas NOT to get Your Wife!”

Women… I apologize ahead of time!  🙂

(If you can’t see the embedded video, CLICK HERE)

Merry Christmas!

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Violent Soccer Women

Posted on: 11/17/09 9:26 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… I was traveling in LA two weekends ago and saw this on CNN in the airport. I meant to blog about it last week, but there was just too much to blog about. But I gotta show you this.

If you haven’t seen it by now, this footage exploded on the internet. It’s a womens soccer game between BYU and New Mexico. UNM player Elizabeth Lambert got out of control!

Take a peek: (watch it from the beginning through 1:40)

Oh Snap!

For those of you that aren’t soccer players… let me assure you, soccer is a rough sport. But these were cheap shots.

My youngest daughter plays in a select soccer league, and last weekend (I was traveling again… sniff, sniff), my wife told me that my little Ashley threw a couple stiff-arms. She was next to a player twice her size and was getting shoved… Ashley’s arm instinctively came up (she knows better- body contact is okay when going for the ball. But pushing with your arm can get you a yellow card).

As a huge soccer fan, I regularly see a ton of this in the Premier League. But this footage of Lambert was across the line. I found this additional report from across the pond pretty interesting, discussing some of the after-effects of it all.

Crazy!

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Youth MiniStarZ

Posted on: 10/7/09 9:04 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… I’ve seen a few youtube videos floating around about youth ministry…

…but this is by far one of the funnier I’ve seen.

If you’re not in youth ministry, you might not find this funny. I’m not sure if this guy is in youth ministry (I peeked at some of his other videos… hmmmmm), but he KNOWS youth ministry.

Hilarious!

 (Click here to see the video if you don’t see the video link above)

… and, yes, it’s true about our wives!!!

(ht to John for the link)

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United Breaks Guitars

Posted on: 07/10/09 11:20 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This is hilarious.

I fly four to eight legs a month with United Airlines and all I can say about this video is, TRUE!

In short, musician Dave Carroll was on a United flight when he heard the passenger behind him say, “My God, they’re throwing guitars out there.” He looked, and sure enough, the baggage handlers were hucking guitars. They broke his favorite guitar, gave him the runaround when he tried to get them to pay for the damages, he wrote a song about it, and it became a hit on YouTube!

Classic!

I laughed so hard when I read this article and watched the video because I sit on Chicago’s runway at least once a month watching the baggage guys hucking bags, toppling them off of conveyor belts, etc. All I think is, “I’m so glad I don’t check any bags!”

Check out this article and video.

(ht to my buddy David)

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The Hugging Threat

Posted on: 06/19/09 2:56 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Sometimes an article comes along that doesn’t even deserve a comment. Such is this one.

Oh… forget it. I can’t hold back. I’ll change it up by giving you my comments before you even read this article.

COMMENTS:

“Needless?”

The “threat” of hugging? Seriously? a “threat?”

You’ve gotta be kidding. Someone PLEASE tell me this is a cynical piece. Pick your battles people. This is the least of our concerns.

Okay… I’m done. Here’s a piece of the article:

In their endless campaign and their inherited duty to confound their elders, this latest generation of teenagers has adopted a new weapon:

Hugging.

As detailed by a recent front-page story in The New York Times, teenage hugging has become an epidemic stretching from one coast to the other. Girls are hugging girls. Boys are hugging boys. Boys are hugging girls and vice-versa, which is not really a new development, except that now the inter-gender embraces do not necessarily have ulterior motives.

“For Teenagers, Hello Means ‘How About a Hug?” according to the story’s headline.

“We’re not afraid, we just get in and hug,” a male high school junior is quoted as saying. “The guy friends, we don’t care. You just get right in there and jump in.”

“We like to get cozy,” an eighth-grade girl in San Francisco explains. “The high-five is, like, boring,”

One might think that the practice of kids exchanging hugs, not drugs — or slugs — would be welcomed without reservation and even with open arms by parents and educators. One might be wrong.

• A parenting columnist for the Associated Press admits that she is baffled.

“It’s a wordless custom, from what I’ve observed,” she writes in her book, “13 is the new 18.” “And there doesn’t seem to be any other overt way in which they acknowledge each other. No hi, no smile, no wave, no high-five — just the hug.”

• Experts have been consulted to delve into what this threat of teenage hugging is all about.

Click here for the entire article.

(ht to Rick from PA)

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If God Texted the 10 Commandments

Posted on: 06/6/09 7:52 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This is hilarious…

GOD TEXTS THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg’s

4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)

5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-X only w/ m8

8. dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?

(ht to McSweeney’s via Fast Company, list by Jaimie Quatro)

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