Family Archives - Page 9 of 13 - Jonathan's Blog From The Source

3 Minutes a Day

Posted on: 09/1/10 10:26 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This week’s Youth Culture Window article on our web site revealed some good news… and some sad news.

The sad news is that the typical father spends less than three minutes per day alone with his own teenager. (I’ve blogged about the decrease of “family time” before) The interesting twist on this, what I call “good news,” is that kids actually want to spend time with parents.

Here’s just a snippet of the article:

And this shortfall of face time couldn’t come at a more crucial—or ironic—moment. In a landmark study by the Associated Press and MTV, performed in 2007, researchers discovered that a whopping 73 percent of teens said their mothers and/or fathers made them “happy.” (No, that’s not a typo.) And when asked, “What one thing in life makes you the most happy?” the most frequent answer given was “spending time with family.” (Nope, that’s not a typo, either!)

You might be thinking to yourself: “Yeah, but that was three years ago. The iPhone was invented, and reinvented, several more times since that research was performed. Kids don’t want me around; they want stuff, entertainment, and whatever else my hard-earned money buys.”

Well…

In a brand new survey by Family Circle, 25 percent of teens claimed they wanted more time with their parents. In fact, one 16-year-old guy actually said, “I think it’d be cool if my parents worked less, just because I’d get to see them more.”

CLICK HERE FOR THE WHOLE ARTICLE

After reading these studies, I admit, I asked myself some tough questions: “Jonathan, are you really spending good quality time with your kids?” “Are you really much better than 3 minutes?”

It’s scary if you really track your time and write it down… because we’re busy, right? We all can probably list out excuses (let’s see, kids go to school, then water polo, then homework…). But busy schedules don’t trump the need for “face time” with our kids. We’ve gotta make it happen. Period.

I’ve blogged about the importance of “family dinners” before. In that blog I cite a September 2009 report revealing that teenagers who have fewer than three family dinners per week are more likely to get C’s and are more likely to smoke, drink and use drugs. Poignant stuff.

No excuses.

Parents, we need to make connecting with our own kids a priority. We need to be pro-active about it… or we’ll just be another statistic.

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My Girls and Kool Aid

Posted on: 08/19/10 9:23 PM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s the last week of summer break for my three kids, and yesterday my two girls got creative with a camera. I’m not sure the point, if any… but it sure looks like they were having fun.

First they designed one of our water pitchers to look like the Kool Aid pitcher. Then they took pictures comic book style of them posing with the container, drinking it, etc.

Here’s Glimpse (here’s two of the pics full size, then thumbnails of just a few of the pics to get the comic strip effect)

I love that Kool Aid pitcher!

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Bacon

Posted on: 08/2/10 7:19 PM | by Jonathan McKee

The weekend has been nuts. If you missed my blog Friday, my dad had a heart attack and gave us all a big scare. He’s home now and doing great.

But a funny little tidbit… when we were at the hospital this weekend we did several trips to the hospital cafeteria. For breakfast they had the calories and fat content, etc. posted for each item of food. I always look at two things when I’m eating something: Calories, and Calories from Fat.

The hopital posted the dietary information for “Bacon.” What’s wrong with this picture?!!!

Huh???

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“Just Let Em’ Watch TV!”

Posted on: 07/19/10 4:31 PM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s amazing how often parents just stand by and watch their kids lose their innocence.

This past weekend on my flight coming back from speaking in Nebraska two elementary-aged kids sat next to me. Their mom sat a couple rows behind and her kids ended up by me– a boy and girl, probably 3rd and 5th grade.

I introduced myself and joked a little about the drawings on the emergency card. They laughed and I asked them questions about flying, “Have you ever flown before?” “Do you like flying?” I wanted them to feel comfortable with me for the flight. After the takeoff, I helped them order their drinks and work the tray tables. They were really polite, sweet little kids.

Soon the little girl pulled down her seat tray, removed a stuffed monkey from her bag and placed him up on the tray, sitting comfortably with his legs crossed and staring back at her with his shiny black little eyes. The boy pulled out a toy dragon and placed it with care on his tray table.

I remember thinking, “How young. How innocent.”

About 30 minutes into the flight, they slid their backpacks from under the seat in front of them and pulled out some magazines. The little boy had a MAD Magazine, the little girl had the newest tween magazine, littered with pictures of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Robert Pattinson and other teen idols.

It was heartbreaking watching this little girl, probably just 8-years-old, looking in awe at pictures of Miley and Kristen, reading little “did you know” facts about their celeb lifestyles. It was upsetting because I saw the innocence slowly being sucked away. Here’s a sweet little kid who probably just learned how to ride her bike. Her favorite companion is a stuffed monkey. And what does our society want to do with these little girls? Grow them up much too fast!

Here little girl… look at this celeb named Miley. Or this one named Britney. Sorry, we can’t show you pics of Lindsey right now… she’s fresh out of rehab and back in jail.

Which ‘Twilight‘ guy do you like better? Robert or Taylor? Here they are with their shirts off. Aren’t they dreamy? Here’s a rapper singing with Justin Beiber. Oooops, don’t download any of this rapper’s music– it’s explicit.

I felt like covering the monkey’s eyes. I’ll protect you Baboo!

After the kids tired of the magazines, they started playing with their toys. It was adorable. “Hey, let’s say that Baboo rides your dragon!” The kids made their toys fly, wrestle each other (the dragon seemed to always prevail against the monkey), and romp off to an assortment of imaginary worlds.

All of a sudden their mother came up to check on them. “Hey, use the earphones and listen to the music or watch the TV show.”

The kids stared back at their mother like, Do we have to?

Mom dug the headphones out of their seat pocket and showed them how to put them on. “Here, watch this show.”

I looked up to see what United was playing for “family” enjoyment. An episode of Two and a Half Men (I kid you not).
The kids reluctantly put on their headphones and stared up at the screen while their mother returned to her seat. After two minutes the kids grew restless. The boy leaned over to his sister, “Let’s play some more.”

The headphones disappeared, Charlie Sheen’s sex jokes were silenced, and within seconds Baboo and the dragon were back to wrestling once again.

If only we could freeze this moment of innocence.

Unfortunately, in just a blink of an eye, middle school will arrive, the monkey and the dragon will probably be shelved, and the iPods of these two cherubs will be full of that day’s Katy Perry, Christina Aguillera and Miley Cyrus. Mom won’t have to encourage TV watching anymore; TV will trump building forts, riding bikes and playing with toys. ABC and MTV will become their teachers, innocence will be totally lost… all under the watch of well-meaning parents.

But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.’ (Ezekiel 33:6)

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6)

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College Shopping

Posted on: 07/7/10 6:44 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m on vacation with my family this week in Southern California visiting colleges with my kids.

Some of you may remember when my son Alec and I did a little of this last fall. We’re doing it again, this time with the whole family.

We started in Santa Barbara at Westmont College, where I went. Westmont is a beautiful campus, and most of all, a great Christian environment that encourages kids in their faith. We had a counseling appt and a tour. My kids loved it.

I think Westmont and Biola are Alec’s top two choices. I’m excited for him.

A funny addition to this story is my 12-year-old Ashley. Ashley has always wanted to go to Westmont “like her dad.” She’s an amazing kid… soooooo driven! She runs track and plays soccer. So last week I shot an email out to the track coach and soccer coach, explaining that we’d be there and that a “12-year-old” would like to meet them. I thought, “Yeah, right.”

Both responded and welcomed the opportunity.

So yesterday, we sat in the office of the track coach, and he asked Ashley some incredible questions. “Tell me what made you start running.” “Tell me about your faith.”

You should have seen my little 12-year-old answering questions like a senior in high school. The coach was amazed. I was amazed. Such a proud moment for dad!!!!

Alec is still looking at schools. Ashley is determined to go to Westmont. 🙂

Today we’re off to Biola and Vanguard, then down to San Diego.

Peace out!

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Alec’s Birthday List

Posted on: 05/18/10 3:33 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… so my son turned 17-years-old yesterday. We went out as a family and saw Ironman II (great film) and ate at one of his favorite places (Island Burgers)… had a great time.

Last week he gave us his birthday list. My wife and I were rolling when we got it… it’s just so “Alec.”

I had to share it with you. I edited the name out of the last item on his list to keep confidentiality:

Alec’s Birthday List

· Superpowers- I want to be able to secrete pizza from my pores so that I can have it whenever I want

· Any Owl City album

· A Woman –preferably blue, 10 feet tall, and with a tail…

· Nerdy t-shirts –im dead serious about this, anything to do with superhero’s, video games, movies, or anything nerdy [like Marvel, DC comics, star wars, “Avatar”, *hint*hint*

· A Flamethrower

· Lord of the Rings weaponry- e.g. staff of Gandalf the grey/white, sword of Aragorn, bow of legolas, axe of gimli, take your pick

· Anything manly

· Star Wars lightsabers- (one of the good ones, not like a kids plastic toy like they should be at least $40 if they are legit) first pick would definitely be Obi-wan’s lightsaber(blue), second choice would be the lightsaber of Yoda(green), and finally third pick would be count dooku’s saber(red)

· A Snack Trolley -A zipline from the fridge to my room that operates at the touch of a button to deliver delicious snacks to my eager hands quickly and efficiently. This will cut walking time in half and reduce unnecessary effort used when rummaging through the fridge

· Irish Goodness -Anything Irish is usually already awesome but if you could find anything that’s both Irish and awesome, then that’s…well…awesome (for example, a shelalie is both Irish and awesome, witty Irish jokes are both Irish and awesome, and coffee mugs with witty Irish jokes on them are amazing)

· Nerdy Goodness –you can use your imagination on this one but if you need help I’ll just start going on a roll and you will get the rhythm… awesome movie posters, life-size figurines of iron-man/storm-troopers, replicas of the handheld Star-trek phasers, blue-ray movies, etc.

· Foody Goodness –You guys know what I like; Pizza, sandwiches, Pizza, hamburgers, Pizza, bacon, Pizza, donuts, Pizza, chicken, A BEAUTIFUL WOOMUN FEEDING ME PIZZA!!!

· A Zombie Attack Survival kit

· Nifty gadgets –Anything that is sneaky, kicks face, and is useful, all at the same time

· The Key to (a certain Girl’s) Heart –Yes, I greatly desire this more than all the others. But alas, for as a wise person (Sam Worthington, Avatar) once said, “I may have already chosen this woman, but this woman must also choose me.”

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Lori and Ashley in an Accident

Posted on: 05/13/10 12:36 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Today everything came to a screeching halt for me in my office at 2:42 p.m. My wife called from her cell phone in tears—she and my youngest daughter Ashley had been in a bad car accident.

If you’ve been in these situations, you might have noticed that time freezes. Seconds before the phone rang, I had been at full speed finalizing my workshop presentations for this weekend in NJ … none of that mattered now. I just sat there, frozen in time, staring at the texture on the wall, feeling as if my throat was closing up on me.

I blinked in slow motion. It felt like a minute, waiting to find out if she and Ashley were okay, but it probably was only a nanosecond during that pause in my wife’s sentence.

Even though time was frozen, my thoughts were running at 30-images-per-second. I saw it clearly in my mind—a gurney being loaded into an ambulance with my daughter’s 12-year-old body strapped tightly. An EMT in a blue uniform holding an oxygen mask to her tiny face, trying to keep his balance as he stepped into the ambulance with the gurney.

Fast forward to the hospital waiting room… a group of faces surrounding me, some patting me on the shoulder trying to assure me of some hope, others saying words of encouragement, but I don’t hear a thing. My thoughts are in an operating room right now with Ashley’s petite frame laid out on a table, doctors franticly working, trying to save her life.

I hit my knees right there in the waiting room and cry out to God, “Please don’t take her. Please!”

I’m not thinking about a totaled car. I’m not worried about increased insurance rates. I could care less if I lost it all at this point. Just not Ashley. “Lord, don’t take Ashley. Nothing else matters.”

I blink again.

I’m back in the office, staring at the textured wall. My wife catches her breath and finishes her sentence. “We’re fine. But the car is totaled.”

I get all the details, but I don’t care about any of them. Lori and Ashley are safe.

It was heavy traffic on a main road by my house. Lori was trying to get through two lanes of stopped traffic to a shopping center. Two cars left a gap and waved her through, not knowing that a young kid was coming full speed in the far right turn lane. Lori poked her nose out to look and it was too late—that teeth grinding sound of metal crunching and glass breaking. Our little Sentra was totaled, with Lori and Ash right there in the front seats.

It was Lori’s first accident, ever.

An hour later Lori was crying, “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I totaled the car.”

I looked at her and smiled. “I am not worried about it at all. You two are safe.”

God answered my hospital room prayer… and I was never even there.

The funny thing is, last week I prayed that very prayer. I was praying and I asked God, “Please keep my family safe.” I went on. “I don’t care about this recession, my salary, home values, bills… none of it. Just keep my family safe.”

He answered it.

So I’m keeping my end of the bargain. I don’t care about the car, the deductable, insurance increases, body shop bills… none of it.

The girls are okay. That’s all that matters.

God is good.

(You can keep Ash in your prayers. Lori seemed to fair fine, but Ash’s head actually hit the side window or something. She’s got the beginning of a black eye and a little bit of headache. A fire truck actually did show up at the accident and they checked her out—said she was fine. She was in good spirits a couple hours later. The black eye makes her look tough. I told her to tell everyone at school that she got in a gang fight!)

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Kids Burning Themselves on YouTube

Posted on: 04/20/10 10:43 AM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s funny when small sub-cultures get air time (and am I only furthering it by reporting about it?)

So let me preclude this blog by saying, “This isn’t mainstream!” In other words, I don’t think your kids or their friends are probably doing this. From what I hear, this is a very small crowd of kids. But thanks to YouTube, the buzz is out and your kids and their friends might have at least heard, “Hey… did you hear about those kids that are lighting themselves on fire on YouTube?”

Yeah. It’s really as dumb as it sounds. It’s like MTV’s Jackass, but for real.

YouTube has a bunch of videos of kids lighting themselves on fire with comments like, “This is (name) being lit on fire. Only the cool kids light themselves on fire these days!”

I’ve seen a few articles on the subject, not much yet.

I don’t know what’s worse, the random videos of kids lighting themselves on fire, or videos like this one from this guy who teaches people how to “safely” light themselves on fire. (click here if you don’t see the embedded video below)

Here’s my thoughts on this one: have conversations with your kids about what they’re watching.

In my house, I don’t even need to start these conversations. My daughter came up to me yesterday and asked me, “Dad, have you see the Hot Kool-Aid video on YouTube? It’s hilarious!” (She saw it at school). I told her I hadn’t. She said, “You gotta see it!”

So we went home and she showed it to me. It was pretty funny (I know some of you are going to search that one now). 🙂 We sat and chatted a little bit about the funniest videos she’d seen lately.

I find that if parents are open with their kids and listen, then most kids will be fairly transparent about what they are watching. After a fun conversation like the one I had with my daughter, parents could ask questions like, “What are some of the weirdest things you’ve seen on YouTube lately?” (notice I don’t walk right up to my kids and ask that. I start light, with questions like, “What’s the funniest video you’ve seen?” Break the ice with your kid first.) If kids share about some weird things they’ve seen, ask them, “What did you think of that?” or “Do you know anyone who does that?”

Sometimes kids won’t share everything. That’s why when my daughter was gone I actually looked up some of the recent searches she did lately as well. My kids know that I can search their history, their cell phones, etc. at any time.

As parents, we just need to be involved in our kids lives. Keep having conversations.

(ht to Todd Pearage)

Posted in Entertainment Media, Family, Movies, Parenting, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Teaching Discernment to Alyssa

Posted on: 02/8/10 9:55 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This week’s Youth Culture Window article is a little different than normal… it’s a story of my 14-year-old Alyssa asking me permission to download a song on iTunes. This situation wasn’t one of those ‘cut and dry’ easy decisions. You know… like when your kids ask you if they can download a Crowder song (“Duh, yes!”)… or when they ask you if they can download Beyonce’s Video Phone (“Duh, no!”). This was one of those instances that actually took “discernment.” (Dang… why isn’t parenting easier!)

This just happened last week, and I thought it would be a fun story to share with other parents. Here’s just a snippet of the article:

“Dad, can I download Down?”

That’s what my 14-year-old asked me this week, hoping to download the song from iTunes onto her iPod. If you’re a parent, you may have experienced a situation similar to this, seeing that 76% of 8-18 year-olds now own these mobile music devices (KFF, Generation M2, page 29).

During lunch that day, Alyssa had heard Jay Sean’s song “Down” play over the school’s PA system (because that’s what our public schools often do in CA). There’s little wonder why my daughter heard this song at school. Though it’s currently ranked #23 on Billboard’s Hot 100, this song by Jay Sean and Lil Wayne has been on the charts for 30 weeks and it peaked at #1. In other words, this tune has gotten some serious air time! I heard it in the airport last weekend.

My kids have an agreement with my wife Lori and me that they must review the lyrics before downloading any song. We’ve been trying to teach them to use discernment with what they listen to because we all know that music truly affects actions. (Just last week David’s Youth Culture Window article cited the unique study performed by the University of Sussex about the affect of music on teenagers. That study made me want to “knock some pencils off the table” in my house to see what happens!)

So when Alyssa asked me if she could download the song, I offered her the same response I always give. “Did you look at the lyrics?”

She answered honestly, “Yeah, but I couldn’t tell if they were bad.”

You gotta love this situation! Here’s my daughter being a normal teenager who likes the sound of a song. She knows the process in our house and she comes to me genuinely seeking an answer of what’s right… or just hoping I’d say yes!

Here lies the struggle. In moments like these I can’t help but second guess myself. Alyssa is a great kid. Am I monitoring her too much? Should I back off and let her just download what she wants? After all, my rules seem a little more stringent than many other parents I know…even some of those in my church.

Do you ever wonder what to do in these situations?

You can read the rest of the article here, or it’s featured in the big Youth Culture Window magnifying glass on the front page of our site, www.TheSource4YM.com

Posted in Entertainment Media, Family, Music, Sexuality | | Leave A Comment

Getting my Butt Kicked in the Pool

Posted on: 01/12/10 6:25 PM | by Jonathan McKee

My wife is a stud!

Lori is a swimmer. She’s always been a swimmer. And the place where she regularly swims laps offered a free month to our whole family, so we signed up.

So last week, my whole family got in the pool with her to do laps. Guess how many I did before having to stop and rest?

Yeah… pathetic.

When I was in high school, I remember 10-lap warmups and then about 100 laps at any given practice. Fast forward 20-something years. I did just 10 laps that day.

Today I did 8 laps for my warmup before resting. I just had to beat 4. Then I did 20 laps total. Only 20 laps! What the heck!

Now… some of you might be thinking, “Jonathan, you’re a cheesy slob. Get in shape!” But allow me to retort. Lori and I try to bike or run 3 to 4 days a week. My runs are usually 5 miles, and my bike rides are 15 to 20. So why am I sinking in the pool?!!

Lori is biking, running, and doing 90-lap workouts in the pool.

Add to the humility… my kids all put me to shame. (I do not like the pool of shame!) Alyssa (my 14 year old) is doing 70 lap workouts with Lori. The other two are beating me on any given lap.

Wow. Swimming’s hard!

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