Okay… I just wrote about Ashley… but as you might know (especially those of you who have read about her on my bio page), she is a continual source of laughter.
Ashley has to write a daily journal for her 5th grade class. Lori and I love reading this diary of a 10 year old. It’s hilarious enough to hear the perspective of the world through the eyes of a 10 year old, it’s even funnier when it’s Ashley.
Today Ashley’s assignment was to talk about her family traditions (each day she is given a journal prompt assigning something for her to write about) for “the holidays.” Yes, not Christmas, but the holidays. Gotta be P.C. today. So this “prompt” asked her what she does for Christmas or Hanauka and asks her to provide details.
So Ashley brings me her first draft.
I say “first draft” because, even though Ashley would love for these entries to be just one draft, she has an author for a father who often makes her rewrite her entry (thank goodness her teacher requires a parent signature on the journal entry each night). This rewrite is often necessitated not by gramatical errors or sentence structure, but by the fact that she doesn’t hesitate to talk about the dog’s bowel movements, or other inappropriate subject matter. Then she’ll randomly throw in the word “CHEESE!” because she loves to tell people that she loves cheese. (Yes, in her speech to campaign for vice president at her school this year, her opening line was, “Hi, I’m Ashley and I like cheese!) Again… this is Ashley we’re talking about here… not your normal 10 year old.
So today she brings me her “holiday traditions” journal. Draft 1 reads fine (although I laughed at her description of where we get our tree) until the last few lines. After telling us about her traditions and opening presents she simply writes:
Oh, and I’m not Jewish, so we DON’T celebrate Hanauka. We celebrate Christmas!!! (emphasis Ashley’s)
So I bring Ashley in and tell her, “Ashley, it’s okay that you celebrate Christmas, but you kind of make it sound like it’s a bad thing to be Jewish or to celebrate Hanauka. Maybe you should rewrite this last section.
So Ashley takes her journal and rewrites the ending. I leave you with her complete journal entry.
Every year during Christmas time, my family decorates the tree together. I’m always very happy whenever that happens. First we grab our tree out of it’s box. Then we put it together. And finally my dad plays christmas music and we decorate our tree together.
Another Christmas tradition that I do every year is go to my Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Christmas Eve. But then on Christmas day we stay and celebrate at my house. Sadly, I’m not Jewish, so I don’t celebrate Hanauka. So these are all of my Christmas celebrations.
Wendy is my favorite cousin.
No insult to my other cousins, I love you all too. But Wendy (some of you might remember her story here) just overnighted me the key to my heart: Giordano’s Pizza from Chicago. Truly my favorite pizza… no… my favorite MEAL worldwide.
Yep. I’m a simple man. And Giordano’s stuffed crust pizza is about as good as it gets. Whenever I speak anywhere within two hours of Chicago, you can bet that I’ll be stopping at a Giordano’s and ordering a Giordano’s stuffed crust pizza. Last time I was there I ordered one with pepperoni and mushrooms. (Oh man… I can almost taste it just talking about it)
Well, my cool cousin from Ohio just sent me my Christmas present. Giordano’s can be overnighted anywhere in the U.S. (not cheap, let me tell you). She sent a Giordanos stuffed crust cheese pizza (an excellent choice since I’ll be sharing with the family). Of course, I’m just assuming it was Wendy. It didn’t even have a name on it. But this is something Wendy would do. I left her a voice mail… it had to be her.
We’re going to be eating very WELL today!
Thanksgiving was definitely one of the highlights of my year… for one reason: family.
When I look at my family I can’t thank God enough. Not only has He given me a smokin’ hot wife and three kids that are FAR better than I was when I was their age… but he also has given me an incredible extended family that love and follow Him.
Every year for Thanksgiving we go up to my cousin’s 900 acre ranch in Northern California . It’s two hours from the nearest city (30 minutes from a tiny grocery store) and it’s surrounded by God’s country. This year we had over 30 people there for Thanksgiving. It was amazing to be surrounded by so many people that got along! Lets be honest. For many of us, family means DRAMA! At this ranch, very little drama. Just a bunch of fun loving people who love God, listen to country music… and like to ride horses.
When we weren’t stuffing our faces, we were all out riding quads with our cousins and nephews twice removed (not exactly sure how that works), or shooting skeet. Picture this: about 7 or 8 of us all in one line, one at a time yelling “pull” and then shooting that little plastic Frisbee that shoots in the air. Fun stuff.
Alec (my 14 year old) was shooting pretty good. Ashley (my 10 year old), bless her heart, really wanted to give it a try. So she tried a 20 gage and it still bruised her arm pretty bad. Alyssa (my 12 year old) doesn’t want to touch guns. Fine with me. So she stayed back in the cookhouse and played with 4 little cousins.
When all was over we headed back to my brother’s (25 minutes from the ranch, a little closer to the small town, population 368) and just chilled. We watched his little “almost 2-year-old” jam around the floor saying the word “basketball” (his favorite word) every 10 seconds. Cute kid. Smart as a whip. But we have no idea why he is so obsessed with the word “basketball!”
About 10:00 we hit the rack every night.
Beautiful country. Great time.
I can’t thank God enough for family.