Family Archives - Page 8 of 13 - Jonathan's Blog From The Source

A Bonus of a Bad Economy

Posted on: 12/2/10 8:23 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Nielsen came out with a fascinating report this week, a study revealing that more people are eating at home in the last year. Nielsen is calling “food” the social network of the ages:

When you think about it, isn’t food the real social network of the ages? Food is, and always has been, that special bonding agent that connects family and friends—with no electronic device necessary! Whether we gather for holiday celebrations, special occasions or the traditional family dinner, food, plain and simple, brings people together. And, as the U.S. economy experienced one of the worst downturns in recent history, consumers showed a renewed focus on back-to-basics in-home cooking.

I love it when people recognize the importance of relationships, including simple tasks like eating together. It seems like food is one of the common denominators that keeps surfacing when I talk about adults connecting with kids one-on-one (Connect).

Author/speaker Wayne Rice and I were talking about parenting a couple months ago– Wayne and I have both been writing articles for our new TheSource4Parents.com –and he mentioned an article he wrote recently about the disappearance of the family dining room. Wayne had read an article talking about how many people were converting their dining room into workout rooms or offices. After all- the dining room was the least used room in their house. Wayne noted what a tragedy this was… the decline in family meals.

Research reveals that families should make family dinners a priority. Columbia University’s study shows that those teenagers who have fewer than three family dinners per week are one and a half times likelier to report getting mostly C’s or lower grades in school; and teens who report these grades are likelier to smoke, drink and use drugs?

Maybe this down economy is just what families needed to get them back around the dinner table together.

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Inside the Teenage Brain

Posted on: 11/29/10 1:26 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Ever wonder why teenagers might be better than us in video games, but seemingly inept at simple decision making and reasoning?

If only we could take a peek inside the teenage brain.

Well… they have!

Parade magazine featured an excellent article yesterday about the teenage brain. I’ve written on the teenage brain before— especially the fact that teenagers lack the neural circuitry in the frontal lobe necessary for decision making. Teenage brains are a “work in progress” until they are in their 20’s. (That explains a lot, huh?)

This new Parade article encored that research, and also shared a few other interesting tidbits:

The skills you practice as a child and pre-teen become much sharper in the teenage years; and those practiced reluctantly, if at all, will diminish on your brain’s hard-disk drive. “The brain is very efficient, allowing you to become more adept at the life skills you’re going to use — which is why these are the years to set good work habits in place,” notes Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute and author of Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs.
The frontal lobes, and particularly the prefrontal cortex, are one of the last areas of the brain to develop. Researchers now believe that the prefrontal cortex — responsible for things like organizing plans and ideas, forming strategies, and controlling impulses — is not fully developed until the late 20s. (The article I wrote above cited research that said “early” twenties. Interesting that it’s now the “late 20s.)
Beginning in puberty and continuing into the early 20s, adolescents need from 8.4 to 9.2 hours of sleep on average a night.
Teens and adults used different areas of the brain to process what they were feeling. Teens rely much more on the amygdala, a small almond-shaped region in the medial and temporal lobes that processes memory and emotions, while adults rely more on the frontal cortex, which governs reason and forethought.

Lori and I talked about this article quite a bit when we read it. I was encouraged by a few things:

– Sometimes I second-guess myself when I’m not only teaching, but enforcing good work habits in our home. I wonder, “Am I being too strict?” It’s good to hear that this window of time sets these good work habits in place for the rest of their life. I even asked my son Alec (17) his thoughts on the issue. He said, “Looking back, I’m glad you made me get off my butt and do some of this, because I probably never would have done it myself.”

– Lori and I make our kids go to bed at 9PM. They always complain, “9PM!!! None of our friends have to go to bed at 9PM!” But when their alarm goes off early, they’re always grateful!

– It also seems interesting that research keeps showing “full maturity” to be later and later. Early twenties, now late twenties. I can’t help but wonder if we’re pampering this generation too much, helping them not grow up. I’ve always experienced great results when I “raised the bar” just a bit with my kids, both in ministry and in parenting.

Hmmmmmmm.

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A Lullaby

Posted on: 11/24/10 5:56 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m hanging with family for Thanksgiving. My brother Thom has two little ones, ages two and four. Since mine are 13, 15 and 17… I’ve almost forgotten what it is like. Fun… and tiring! 🙂

Tonight we were watching some adorable Elmo videos with the kids. I must admit… Sesame Street rocks! One of the cutest ones was definitely when Andrea Bocelli sang a lullaby to Elmo.

Good times!

Have a great Thanksgiving!

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Stories from Mom’s Protecting Kids Online

Posted on: 10/13/10 11:00 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last week I shared with you about a lunch I had with an FBI agent who was picking my brain about kids in today’s culture, the dangers they face, etc. This guy has helped develop a piece of software that helps parents monitor their kids’ browsing habits online. Many of you jumped onto the site to sign up for their free beta-test.

I told you that I’d provide you with some stories of real moms and dads who tried out this software called Parental Options. Interesting stuff. Here’s a few:

1) My husband and I were attending a prayer vigil at our church. Our time slot was from 11:00 pm to midnight. At about 11:30 pm, my cell phone began to vibrate. Parental Options was sending me an alert that our son was on the computer. We set usage parameters for his computer until 10:00 pm, and he was on the computer while we were away from home. I sent a text home and the computer was turned off.

2) There are a number of times where the software has helped us to know just how much time was spent on Facebook and other interesting websites vs. getting homework done. We expect our kids will multi-task but it is an eye opener for us (and them) when you can take a look at something that is recording the frequency (and duration) of toggling between a word document and Facebook for example. Healthy conversations are a result. Parental Options software has facilitated our ability to talk about the content available via the internet just as we would about TV or movies. Our kids are not navigating this part of their lives alone.

3) My daughter was engaged in IM chat in Facebook around 2am with someone that she had just met at school. (She was up doing homework). The Parental Options program highlighted all of the words in the chat conversation that are “grooming” words (words that signal that a person is trying to get to know someone, and establish a trusted relationship with them). The program was teaching us what to look for when reviewing her activity.

4) I got the software just to check on my kids’ internet browsing from time to time. Unfortunately, I found that one of my boys had visited some pornographic sites. (Parental Options says that viewing browser history alone isn’t completely reliable because kids can use multiple browsers and erase some history while keeping the rest. I didn’t know that.)

5) My son was playing an online game and chatting there with a “friend” from school. This “friend” was bullying him and using language that would tear apart anyone’s self confidence. This was caught and addressed because the software highlighted some of the words that were used in the conversation. ( At this point, not all bullying language will be highlighted because people can be vicious in such diverse ways. But, with the software running, you always have the opportunity to scan the chat and ask your child about the person they were interacting with.)

Here’s the web site where you can read a little more about it: ParentalOptions.com …I’m pretty impressed with what I have seen so far.

Posted in Bullying/Cyberbullying, Discussion Ideas, Family, Internet, Parenting, Social Media, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Alyssa’s Dance Ticket

Posted on: 10/2/10 4:33 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… It’s time to chime in about this dance my daughter is going to tonight and what’s written on her ticket.

Alyssa, my 15-year-old, who is GORGEOUS, is going to Homecoming tonight with a nice young man from church. I’m not worried, but I probably should be, because when I was 15, some people probably thought I was “a nice young man from church.” And I wasn’t! (Well, I was kind, and courteous. But, looking back, I was not respectful to the girls I dated at all!)

So I have to share with you the warnings that this “ticket” has written on it from the school. Hilarious… yet revealing about today’s culture. (I’m laughing because I’m going to be chaperoning my son’s school dance next weekend, and I know I’ll be seeing some of this.)

Here’s a glimpse of what’s written on the ticket:

Students:

·        Are expected to face their partner at all times (no back to front motion)

·        Must maintain a 4 – 6 inch space from their partner

·        May not engage in ‘leg wrapping’

·        With the exception of feet, may not place body parts on floor

·        May not engage in grinding, moshing, or body surfing

·        May slow dance as long as it does not extend beyond hugging

·        May break dance as long as there is adequate space and prior approval has been obtained.

Students who fail to adhere to the dance policy will be given their one and only warning (wristband or I.D. Card). Any additional violations will result in the student being removed from the dance.

How would you have liked to be on the committee that had to come up with these guidelines? lol … I love their wording. I can imagine the meeting. “So how do we get them to stop humping each other on the dance floor? Can we say ‘no humping’ on the ticket?” “I know, let’s just call it, ‘no back to front motion.'”

Oh man!

Alyssa and I talked about it. The guy she’s going with is a friend, not a boyfriend. He’s a great guy and I think he’ll be really respectful. They’re going as a group, six kids from church, none of them are actually “boyfriend and girlfriend” … all just buddies. They should have a blast.

I’m sooooooo bummed that I’m missing it. I’ll be in San Diego teaching at the YS Convention. Sniff! Sniff!

Alyssa said she might text me and keep me posted. I’ll probably tweet a little about it if I hear from her.

(Please text me Alyssa!) 🙂

UPDATE:

Lyssy texted me and told me she’s having a good time.

Also… her date’s li’l sis texted me a pic she took of the two of them. Awe… don’t they look sweet! (Sniff… my little girl is growing up!)

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No Media for 24 Hours

Posted on: 09/23/10 10:53 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This Saturday, September 25th, Nickelodeon goes dark for a day to encourage kids to go out and play!

(Hey, that rhymes. Will they play in the hay? How long will they stay? Until May? I digress.)

I love the idea. It reminds me of an early Simpsons episode where the power went out in Springfield. All the TV’s went dark in every household and we heard kids moan in disappointment. Then they slowly got up, opened the front door to their houses, stretched their arms, squinting in the light of the sun like someone who hasn’t seen light for weeks. Next scene we saw kids playing on playgrounds, climbing trees, making forts… Great scene.

Nick is trying to get kids to do much of this. Their Worldwide Day of Play website has all kinds of ideas of activities that kids can do for the day.

As much as I love Nick’s efforts, I don’t know how much of an impact they will make by themselves (this is their 7th year in a row doing this). I wish that they could get Cartoon Network, Disney, MTV and other channels kids frequent- all to own in on this (not that kids couldn’t just go play X-box).

Parents should use this as an opportunity to make this family-driven. Wouldn’t it be cool if families “shut off the power” and turned off all mobile devices for a day?

Last year our church had a 1 month media fast. I know… it sounds nuts. But it was truly amazing. We cut all entertainment media for 1 month. Families brought out old board games, went on walks, hikes… you name it. Our family moaned and whined the first week. But after the month was over, we talked about implementing the media fast as a regular event one day a week– Tuesdays. (It’s been pretty irregular- with homework and jobs, many nights have been without media lately).

Props to Nick!

RELATED ARTICLE: College blocks out Facebook for a week.

Posted in Entertainment Media, Family, News, Parenting, TV | | Leave A Comment

Talking With Our Kids about Glee

Posted on: 09/20/10 3:02 PM | by Jonathan McKee

In January of this year, Kaiser Foundation’s “M2” Media Consumption report shocked parents when it was revealed that today’s 8-18 year-olds average 4 hours and 29 minutes of television programming each and every day. Kaiser, Nielson and others all agree, the television set still is the biggest media draw for kids, despite rumors that TV was dying.

The question is, just what are our kids watching?

If you asked a random selection of teenagers that question in the last 12 months, you’d probably hear the word “Glee” more than almost any other word. In just one year, Fox’s Glee has grown to be one of the most watched television shows by teenagers.

The Glee buzz has grown louder in the past few weeks, with the release of Season 1 on DVD and Blu-ray, and the premier for Season II this Tuesday, September 21.

So what should parents do with this show?

The short answer is: talk about it!

After weeks of researching the show and then even asking you all your two cents last week in my blog, I’ve posted my article about the show on TheSource4YM.com website as this week’s Youth Culture Window article… an article titled, “To Glee, or Not to Glee.”

Here’s just a snippet from the middle of the article:

So, what content are young viewers absorbing from this show?

Glee deals with real issues that teenagers face today, showing consequences and hurt. The writers tell it like it is, warts and all. Name it: teen pregnancy, bullying, self image, and equal rights. But at the same time, the show sends mixed messages. It’s often coarse, laced with sexual humor, and preachy in support of the homosexual lifestyle. (One of the show’s writer/creators, Ryan Murphy, is gay, several of the cast members are gay, and the show has a huge LGBT following.)

Christian parents always ask me: Should I let my kids watch Glee?

Even though I could possibly offer some guidance toward the answer to that question, I hesitate to answer it because my response would negate the purpose behind it.

Allow me to explain: The answer to that question is, Parents must help their kids figure out for themselves if they should watch the show. The process itself is much more important than the answer. In other words, if I or some other author or radio personality were to simply say, “No, don’t let your kids watch it,” I’d hate to think that parents would default to just answering, “Sorry, Jonathan says ‘no,’ so that means the show is bad.”

Parenting isn’t that simple. And I don’t mean to make a cliché with that phrase. Truly, parenting is anything but simple. The fact is, most teaching opportunities take time, effort, and thought. And if parents are truly living out that Deuteronomy 6 passage (Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up… Deuteronomy 6:5-7, NIV), then we’ll be dialoging constantly with our kids about the influences around them, the temptations they face, and the decisions they make. These conversations will require a lot of guidance with younger kids, slowly leading to more freedom as they get older. After all, when they’re 18…it’s really up to them, isn’t it?

This means that my 15-year-old and 17-year-old might be able to discern right and wrong in a situation better than my 13-year-old. Last month…

CLICK HERE FOR THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

Posted in Discussion Ideas, Entertainment Media, Family, Parenting, Personal, TV, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Bucket Duty

Posted on: 09/17/10 8:23 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This week has personally been crazy! I’ve been on “bucket duty” all week.

No, that has nothing to do with a bucket list. It has everything to do with everyone in my house getting the flu… except me! (So far!)

My 15-year-old Alyssa got it first on Tuesday afternoon. She started feeling queazy in art class, ran outside, pulled her hair back and puked in a trashcan in front of 40 boys (so she described). She said that two of them asked her, “Are you okay.” She wiped her chin and said, “Yeah. Doing great!”

I picked her up shortly after and she began throwing chunks every 30 minutes for about 6 hours until finally the doctor gave her something to stop heaving (long story, but we actually were going to the doctor anyway because she fractured one of her fingers at water polo practice the day before). While I was at the doctor with her, Lori called and said that Alec, my 17-year-old had puked at work and was coming home.

At this moment Lori and I were silent for a moment. A cloud of fear drifted over our heads– we both knew, this thing is making its way around the family! We began pondering, what did they eat? What did we eat? Did I share a glass with them last night? (you know… many of you have probably been there)

Alec began the process of hurling groceries for the next few hours. Lori, Ashley- my youngest- and I looked at each other in fear. We knew it was probably coming.

Wednesday morning Ash woke up fine and went to school. At noon I got a text, “Dad, I’m in the bathroom at school… come get me.” Two hours later she was in our bathroom ralphing… and a few other bonus symptoms that I won’t go into! Meanwhile Lori started moaning and grabbing her stomach. By 4PM I was the only one serving all four.

Bucket duty!

The house was a wreck. I was trying to do everything Lori normally does (props to her), everything I do, and bucket duty. Truly crazy.

Funny though– when the hurling stopped and everyone was just lying in a slump, we actually had some laughs. At least we were going through it together as a family. It was an adventure… of sorts. I was thankful I wasn’t out of town and that I work at home so I could be there to help.

The good news: it was a 24 hour thing. Alec and Alyssa were functioning at 80% by Wednesday night and went to school Thursday. Then Ashley and Lori were at 70 to 80% by Thursday night, and Ash is back to school today. They’ve all had it… except me!

And so I wait…

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VIP Wing Passes

Posted on: 09/10/10 4:27 PM | by Jonathan McKee

For the last few weeks I’ve been asking Lori, “Anything in the mail from Buffalo Wild Wings?”

I was like a kid, waiting for my Captain Crunch super secret decoder ring.

Today it came!

Sorry… I’m so excited. Let me back up a minute and explain.

I’ve been waiting 20 years for a good wing place to come to my city… and next Monday a Buffalo Wild Wings opens right by my house! That’s why I’m pretty excited about the VIP passes I just received in the mail for this weekend! More on that in a minute!

If you live where I live, in the Sacramento area of California, then you have NO idea what I’m talking about. Because in the Sacramento area there are slim to no wing places.(I’m proof reading this right now… this sounds like an infomercial! Ha!) We have a couple Wing Stops– decent wings, not much in the area of atmosphere. We also have a family owned place in a rough neighborhood called Granites… really good wings, but you need to know martial arts just to get to your car.

That’s why I almost did a back flip when I found out that the national chain Buffalo Wild Wings (BWW) is coming to two locations in the Sacramento area… one just 4 minutes from my house. (This has really bad ramifications. I’m really skinny comparatively right now… this might just change things!) 🙂

Some of you might be wondering… why the fetish over wings? It’s my wife Lori’s fault. She grew up eating wings with her family and friends in the Phoenix area. It was something they always did as a family. And sure enough, the Phoenix area (Mesa, Chandler, Tempe, etc.) has a bunch of really good wing places. Sacramento… nope! So Lori got me hooked when we first started dating. I don’t know why. There really isn’t much meat on the little wings and legs… I think it’s more of a social thing. Most of these wings places are like pubs-plenty of good social time with friends and family over food.

So as I’ve traveled over the years, one place I could always count on for good wings has been BWW. This place is always a good sized sports bar, plenty of flat screens with every sport imaginable playing, open late, fun family atmosphere. Not to mention… great wings. (and these really tasty sliders too!). They actually have 17 different sauce flavors… from mild to “Blazin” hot. They even have a contest where if someone can eat 12 of their “Blazin” hot wings in just 6 minutes… they get a t-shirt and their name on the wall. (I’ve tried one before… it made me cry!)

MY VIP INVITE:
So when I heard that BWW was coming to town, I strolled into the restaurant while it was still under construction (wearing one of my BWW shirts- from a BWW in Nebraska). I introduced myself and let her know that I had been emailing corporate asking them to bring a BWW here! She put me on a VIP list and told me that she’d mail an invite to one of their “Pre-season events” the weekend before they open (to train their staff for opening day).

And so I’ve been waiting… and waiting…

Today they came in the mail! Lori said I acted like I just won the lottery!

The pass instructed me to call and RSVP if I wanted to attend. I called and RSVP’d the whole family for tomorrow’s event. I can’t wait.

In addition… I’m driving by on opening day Monday at about 5:30 in the a.m. If the line isn’t big… I’m going to get in line. The first 100 people get free wings for a year! (Oh man… I can taste em’ now!) (So I might be sitting in line all morning with my laptop, writing my Youth Culture Window article on the MTV VMA’s on the night before.)

Now if I could just get Giordano’s Pizza to come to town!

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Burning My Book

Posted on: 09/7/10 2:52 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I never thought I’d live to see one of my books burned, but on a recent trip… I saw about 30 of them burned!

It’s not what you think. They weren’t protesting (I swear, I didn’t say the word “Jackass” in the book)…

Let me back up just a bit.

A year or so ago when my CONNECT book first came out, there was a misprint. I blogged about it at the time, but the short of it is, someone who worked for my publisher hit a wrong button before the final print and the text came out like gobblygoop. The cover looked fine, certain pages look fine, but once you dig in… a total mess!

My publisher recalled the whole batch… and two weeks later I received a couple boxes of the misprints that had shipped to me separately. They told me I could keep those. So I just threw them on a shelf in the garage.

So… fast forward to recently when my family and I went camping with a bunch of other families at our church. I was packing all our camping stuff in the garage and began looking for some kindling. I didn’t realize that I was so short on kindling… and that’s when I saw a box of those misprints of my book! 🙂

4 hours later we’re unloading camping gear and my son asks me, “Dad… why do you have a box of your books here?”

I simply told him. “Those are the misprints. Put them over there by the firewood.”

He got a huge smile on his face.

When nightfall arrived (or did it “fall?” …I’m not sure), it was time for a campfire. Several of my kids’ friends got wind of the “book burning” and I had about 10 teenagers asking me, “Can I burn some of your books?”

How do you say “no” to that?

So next thing I know a bunch of kids are gathered around a fire throwing my CONNECTs on as fuel!

No worries… until… some of the kids started commenting, “Hey… look at his face burn! Cool!” My book has my picture on the back by my bio. Before long, about a dozen kids are laughing at my picture burning in the fire!

I walked over to my own kids who were laughing hysterically. I said to my son. “Et tu Alec?”

Sigh.

Posted in Books, Family, Humor, Personal | | Leave A Comment