Jonathan McKee, Author at Jonathan's Blog From The Source

“Can I Download Nicki Minaj?”

Posted on: 05/2/12 11:55 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Nicki Minaj might just be the Gaga of Hip Hop. Her music is growingly popular, her antics are over the top, and her discretion is slim to none. But underneath all that fancy getup is a lost young girl named Onika who desperately needs to experience the love of Jesus. How can we teach our kids compassion for Onika, and, at the same time, discretion with her content?

WARNING: This blog post contains explicit lyrics, with ** where needed. If you are offended by the explicit lyrics… good! You probably should be.

Nicki Minaj is rapidly becoming a household name. Her new music video Beez in the Trap is rapidly gaining popularity, sitting at #2 on iTunes videos as I write this. Not bad for a song with the chorus:

Bitches ain’t sh*t and they ain’t say nothing
A hundred motherf**kers can’t tell me nothing
I beez in the trap, bee beez in the trap…

Her song Starships is currently #9 on the Billboard Hot 100, her album Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded sits #6 on Billboard’s album chart, and in the last few months Nicki’s had three different songs in the iTunes Top 10, just a click away for our kids.

Do your kids have Nicki on their iPod?

Are a few curse words all there is to worry about?

If parents are trying to determine whether Nicki’s music is appropriate for their kids, it won’t take long for them to decide. One of Nicki’s first rides up the charts was a few years ago in her collaboration with Lil Wayne, Drake and other rappers in the popular Young Money song BedRock (No, this song is not about the Flintstones). Here’s a snippet of the chorus:

My room is the G-spot
Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock
Oh, I can make your bed rock…

Nicki doesn’t take long to show her true colors during her part of this song. Her lyrics kick in with:

Okay, I get it, let me think, I guess it’s my turn
Maybe it’s time to put this p**sy on your side burns

Yes, Nicki is making an oral sex reference. Not just any reference, one that explicitly talks about the plus-size of her anatomy enveloping someone’s entire face, trumping the lyrics by female rapper Amil who said, “Before I put this p**sy on your mustache” in the Jay Z song Can I Get a…

Nicki is known for her foul mouth and full figure. Guardian columnist Simon Hattenstone describes her as having “a body like Marilyn and a mouth like Eminem” in his in depth interview with Minaj. Nicki gained a lot of popularity with songs like SuperBass and Stupid Hoe (I’m not making these titles up). A quick peek at the videos and Googling of the lyrics will reveal her pattern: bragging, cursing, and my biggest concern—the sexualization of girls.

I guess crude talk and racy videos weren’t enough for Nicki, because at the recent Grammy’s she upped the ante with her performance of her song, Roman Holiday, engaging in an exorcism of sorts. In a post Grammy interview she confessed that she has a demon named Roman living inside of her.

So is Nicki really intrigued or even possessed by evil spirits, or is this just another attention-getting ploy?

Does it really matter? Is that the deciding factor for parents teaching their kids discernment?

Many parents don’t find a problem with Nicki as long as you download the “clean version.” That seems to be the case with the proud parents of these two cute little girls… and Ellen DeGeneres. So is Stupid Hoe “clean” when you simply take out the curse words? Is Beez in the Trap “clean” when the profanity is removed? (Maybe parents should know a little more about Nicki and what terms like “Beez in the Trap” really means.)

Nicki continues to grow in popularity and as a role model. The question is: Are Nicki’s songs and music videos part of their regular entertainment-media diet?

Getting Our Teenagers Talking About Nicki
After my parent workshops parents always ask me what I say to my own kids about artists like Nicki. I always answer, “As little as possible. I try to get them talking.”

That’s the trick. When our kids ask, “Dad, Can I Download this Song?” our response should probably be, “I don’t know. What do you think?” And the conversation begins. (Chapter 6 of my parenting book is actually titled, “Dad, Can I Download this Song?” because it’s a question so desperate in need of addressing to today’s parents.)

I’ve had some of these conversations with different teenagers already about Nicki, asking them what they think of her lyrics, her videos, and her claims about demon possession. The conversations eventually lead here: “Nicki seems to be a girl looking for answers in the wrong places. We should pray for Nicki… and I agree with you, I don’t think we should download her songs.”

If our kids are Nicki fans the biggest mistake we could make is to just blindly label her “bad.” After all, aren’t we all “bad?” How bad is too bad? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be judged with that measuring tape. Perhaps we need to teach our kids compassion for people, while at the same time teaching discernment with the content they’re filling their heads with.

Compassion starts with stepping into the shoes of others. If you read her story, Nicki, born Onika Maraj, has a father who was an alcoholic and a drug addict. Nicki’s mother even claims that he tried to burn down their house once. Nicki has a history. She’s the woman at the well (John 4). She’s Zacchaeus (Luke 19). She could even be the demon-possessed man (Mark 5). We can learn a lot reading how Jesus responded to these people. While the religious stand and accuse, Jesus responds in compassion.

Perhaps when we see Nicki, we should try to look through Jesus’ eyes and really see Onika.

Does that mean that her music is fair game?

Compassion doesn’t give license to lack of discernment. We need to teach our kids love and wisdom. Just look at Ephesians, Chapter 5. It starts by affirming us to “walk in the way of love,” but then encourages us to steer clear of sexual immorality, impurity, greed and a whole list of foolish behavior. Avoiding those behaviors is basically paraphrased and summarized in vs. 17, “Don’t be foolish.”

If we are talking with kids who don’t see the Bible as an authority… do they believe their doctor? Because the Journal Pediatrics spells out the research clearly… the lyrics affect young people.

If your kids are Nicki fans, what are some ways you can help them learn to avoid being foolish with their entertainment media choices? How can we equip them to steer clear of bad content on their own? That’s the real trick—not over-reacting, but interacting, opening the doors for healthy dialogue.

Discussing Nicki’s Content
If your kids have some Nicki songs, try to get them talking about her content. Google the lyrics to SuperBass, Stupid Ho and Beez in the Trap. Go over the lyrics with your kids. Don’t’ lecture, just ask questions, questions like…

– What do these lyrics mean?

– What does she mean in SuperBass when she says that all a guy has to do is give her a look and her panties are coming off?

– What do you think most girls who listen to Nicki are hearing when they hear these kinds of lyrics?

Pull up Nicki’s music video for Beez in the Trap on iTunes (just click videos on the front page- it’s on the top of the charts right now). Hit the preview button and simply watch the 30-second preview. Then ask…

– What would happen if all girls started acting like Nicki and these other girls in this video?

– Sure, a woman could dance like this in front of her husband, but do you think it’s appropriate to dance like this in front of the world?

Read the definition of “sexualization” from the APA right HERE (those first four bullets). Ask your kids to provide an example of sexualization. Ask them if they think Nicki’s videos are an example?

Realize that many kids are going to respond by saying that they don’t listen to the lyrics and they don’t pay attention to that stuff in the videos. Ask…

– How do young people dance at a school dance? Why? Where do they get that idea from?

– Is there a chance that many of today’s teenagers have been sexualized by role models like Nicki?

If you’re talking to boys, ask…

– Why do guys like watching girls dance like this?

– What is the definition of lusting? (Matthew 5:27, 28)

– Is it possible that a lot of guys will probably lust when watching stuff like this?

You might conclude by asking, “So, if Nicki’s lyrics are recommending girls to act promiscuous, and her videos are proving that she is sexualized, and many who watch the videos are slowly being sexualized, or lusting…do you think we should make Nicki part of our music library?

Let your teenagers come to the conclusion.

Then take some time and truly pray for Onika.

IF YOU LIKED THIS POST,
YOU’LL LOVE JONATHAN’S BOOK,
“CANDID CONFESSIONS
OF AN IMPERFECT PARENT”

Posted in Entertainment Media, Music, Parenting, Sexuality, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Being “Good News” in our Neighborhoods

Posted on: 05/1/12 11:29 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I liked Adam McLane the first time I met him. Adam’s hard to describe: tech geek, youth worker, heart for Christ, father, husband, thinker… all these descriptions probably represent him, but he’s way more than the sum of all the parts. What you get is a man of God who is knowledgeable, passionate and willing to take risks for the cause of Christ. Some might even call him edgy… I call him brother.

Recently Adam and Jon Huckins launched a new 6-week curriculum called Good News in the Neighborhood. This fun little resource packs YouTube videos, stories, Bible studies, small group questions and more to help young people think about what it actually looks like to live as a sent people being Good News in their homes, schools and neighborhoods. I like it, not only because it gives me a better glimpse into the heart of Adam, but also because it brings us back to the basics of what Jesus did.

A Timely Accident
Adam and I are both giggling. Neither of us knew about each others’ evangelism curriculum, and as it happened, they were both released at the exact same time. It’s funny to compare Adam’s curriculum with my brand new evangelism curriculum, REAL CONVERSATIONS. In short…

– Adam’s curriculum equips young people to seek relationships with the lost, and encourages them to have faith conversations.

– My curriculum encourages young people to seek relationships with the lost, and equips them to have faith conversations.

Both are so needed (It’s almost as if we planned the same week release).

Something Unique
Of all the numerous positive aspects of Good News in the Neighborhood, the facet I like the most is that it encourages students to do something that evangelism trainings often overlook: taking time to simply notice others. In the first week of the curriculum, after discussing what it would look like to be a light in our neighborhood, we’re assigned to go to a coffee shop with a notebook and a pen and write down what we observe–people watching 101. In week two we analyze the data we collected, sharing information, and asking questions like:

– What are new things you learned about our community?

– Looking at everyone’s observations, were there patterns that seemed important?

Eventually the curriculum proposes: “As we take the time to observe our neighborhood and train ourselves to take notice of our neighbors, it’s only natural to begin to ask how you can make things better.”

Instead of providing random theories from the author, the curriculum plops us down in front of scripture, and then prompts us to pull application from it to walk as Jesus walked and serve as Jesus served.

Here’s what I like about this curriculum:

It’s “out of the box.” This curriculum isn’t your normal evangelism training. It asks questions that students haven’t been asked before and it stretches students in new ways.
It’s grounded in scripture. Each week the curriculum has students digging through scripture studying Jesus and the early church. This training has Jesus at the heart of it.
It bleeds missions. This is probably the exact kind of training I’d take students through before a missions trip, local or foreign. It trains students how to take notice of the needs around them and live like Jesus lived.

Great curriculum!

I asked Adam if he would discount this curriculum for you- my blog readers. He knocked off $10 if any of you buy it this week and use coupon code SOURCE12 at checkout. Here’s THE LINK at TheYouthCartel.com.

Posted in Books, Evangelism | | Leave A Comment

Top 10 Places to Eat in the U.S.

Posted on: 04/29/12 3:09 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m a simple man, with simple tastes. You won’t find me eating Sushi, and I’m not really even big on steak. When I’m traveling the country, foods like pizza, wings, and BBQ are what my pallet craves (although I also enjoy good Chinese or Mexican cuisine).

Having traveled quite a bit in the last 15 years, I’ve had the opportunity to taste many of what people describe as the most amazing pizza, the greatest burger, or the best BBQ. Tastes definitely vary. The restaurants that were truly amazing have drawn me back again and again. So it’s time I compile a list of the greatest.

These are the places I’ve discovered that I will drive out of the way just to enjoy their food:

Giordano’s Pizza, Chicago, IL (and in Tampa, FL as well). No other pizza touches Giordano’s. I’ve had all the other Chicago competitors (more about that here), and I’ve tried everything from New York to San Diego. Giordano’s is pure manna from heaven. I have considered leaving the airport on a layover and hailing a cab just to go get me some Giordano’s. My desire for Giordano’s is almost sinful.
Las Placitas, Orangevale, CA. This place is 6 minutes from my house and has the best chicken enchilada in the country. Sorry Arizona, sorry Tex Mex. Las Placitas, a true hole in the wall (it’s next door to a pawn shop) reigns. If I have a really bad day…you’ll find me here in the corner booth drowning my sorrows in a basket of chips and salsa.
Trolinger’s BBQ, Paris, TN. I’ve been to the so-called best BBQ places in Nashville and Knoxville. Honestly, I’ve been to BBQ places from Texas to both Carolinas. Sorry, no dice. Trolinger’s takes them all. Trolinger’s is nothing more than a deli in the back of a feed store in small town Paris, TN. You ask for a pulled pork samich and the lady behind the counter will ask, “Ya want slaw on it?” …and the rest is pure enjoyment. There are definitely some other great BBQ places in the U.S. The noteworthy ones are probably the Famous Dave’s chain and Sticky Fingers (in the Carolinas). But aside from Trolinger’s, the best I’ve probably tasted is Smokin’ Mo’s in Chico, CA.
Alexander’s Famous Fish Co., Kihei, HI. This dive looks like nothing more than a Long John Silvers. The meals are fried, they’re amazingly fresh, and they’re usually ordered to go (so you don’t have to sit on their dirty tables). Best unhealthily cooked fish and shrimp you’ll ever eat!
Leatherby’s Family Creamery Ice Cream Parlor, Citrus Heights, CA. Sorry Cincinnati, but as good as Graders is, I’d rather eat a Leatherby’s sundae off a locker-room floor than Graeters in a china bowl! Leatherby’s serves huge portions, extra creamy…not recommended for the lactose intolerant. Best ice cream in the nation. No comparison.
Buffalo Wild Wings (BWW), nation-wide. Before you criticize me for including a “chain restaurant” in the mix, let me just tell you, I’d be prejudice to not include them, because hands down, they have the best wings. I’ve had Native New Yorker in AZ, I’ve had Quaker State in PA, I’ve even eaten in the restaurant in Buffalo where “Buffalo Wings” were apparently invented. None of them compare. BWW is the best, hands down. My life got one notch better a year ago when one of these moved about 4 minutes from my house (and my belt got one notch bigger).
PF Changs, nation-wide. While I’m mentioning chains, I might as well include this chain of delicious Chinese restaurants. PF Changs and their sister restaurants Pei Wei are both amazing, better than most hole in the wall Chinese places.
Munchies, Ashland, OR. I had to include a breakfast place in the mix, and this breakfast place is the one that sticks out to me. The restaurant is in the basement in the main strip of the artsy little town of Ashland Oregon. My wife and I discovered it one year while at Ashland’s Shakespear Festival. Amazing omelets and a really cute atmosphere.
Legal Sea Foods, Boston, MA (and scattered places around New England). I first came upon this place in the Boston airport. Their amazing clam chowder has been served at the Presidential Inauguration of several U.S. presidents. I’m sure both coasts are full of good seafood places (I have to give a shout out to Brophy Brothers in Santa Barbara, CA, and Doogers in Cannon Beach, OR … both amazing as well), but Legal is probably my favorite.
Barefoot Grill (Part of the Hula Grill) Ka’anapali, HI. This grill is right next to the beach in Ka’anapali, right next to Whaler’s Row. The food is great and the POG drinks are fresh and amazing. I’ve actually never eaten inside, because the barefoot bar allows you to eat at a nice table with your feet literally in the sand. I’ll drive across the island to catch a lunch here (I’d do the same with Alexander’s, mentioned above, and Matteos Pizzeria. Oh man. I wish I could afford to visit that island regularly!)

That’s it!

What about you?

If you’ve eaten at any of these places, what did you think? (Be nice!)

What are your favorite places to eat across the country (Mention the CITY, STATE of the location in ALL CAPS in your comments below if you are recommending a place).

Posted in Food, Personal, Travel | | Leave A Comment

Three Kids in a Van

Posted on: 04/26/12 5:11 PM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s always interesting to see what youth workers do with “travel time” on trips. I’ve seen ministries be very proactive about using a bus ride to build relationships with kids, one kid at a time. I’ve seen other ministries that haven’t even thought about it.

A few weeks ago “Deborah” found herself driving a van on a high school missions project for a week during spring break. Deborah is very gregarious and not afraid to ask kids about their faith. Every time teenagers found themselves riding shotgun next to Deborah, she asked, “So, tell me your faith story.”

Deborah had some great conversations with students during the week, but pretty soon word got around that “shotgun” next to Deborah meant “talking about Jesus.” As it turned out, by the end of the week, most of the students found seats in other vans, leaving just three random teenagers remaining: an awkward freshman boy, a popular cheerleader in her senior year, and a quiet recluse who was rarely seen without her headphones.

The freshman boy sat up front and within five minutes Deborah asked, “Tell me your faith story.”

The boy began to share a little about his life. It wasn’t long before he was talking about the way others teased him and the bullying he had been experiencing already during his freshman year. Choked up, he shared some of the specifics of the cruelties that were daily occurrences for this young man.

Wiping a tear from his cheek he confessed, “I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. I wish I just had one friend.”

Deborah looked in the rear view mirror. The girl in the headphones was looking out the window, apparently killing her ears with loud music. The cheerleader, however, was noticeably listening to every word, dabbing her eyes with Kleenex, trying to keep her mascara from running.

The cheerleader spoke up. “Me too.”

The boy up front was startled by her voice. He didn’t even realize she was listening. “What?”

“I feel the exact same way,” she continued. “Every day. I’m surrounded by a bunch of fakes. They’re empty, and so am I. I’ve never felt so alone. I hate my life.”

The girl in the headphones grabbed a pillow from the back seat and began to fluff it up on the empty seat next to her. “Me too,” she quickly interjected, then turned over, lay on the pillow and closed her eyes.

Three completely different teenagers from three completely different social circles, all connecting for a brief moment when given a chance to share their story. A true “Breakfast Club” moment.

I love hearing stories from youth workers like this. It gives us a glimpse into the crack into the armor of today’s teenagers. It provides a peek at what Jesus’ ministry probably looked like, just hanging out with the lost.

What about you?

Are you putting yourselves in situations where kids can talk freely with you?

Are you asking questions that get teenagers talking?

Do you listen instead of lecturing?

Posted in Bullying/Cyberbullying, Evangelism, Faith | | Leave A Comment

It’s Here!

Posted on: 04/25/12 3:55 AM | by Jonathan McKee

As a Zondervan author, I usually get a shipment of my books/DVDs a few weeks before they hit the shelves. This Monday my brand new REAL CONVERSATIONS arrived! So right now. I’m offering the DVD and combo Participant’s Guide/Leader’s Guide on my site for less than $20 total (and we’re giving FREE SHIPPING in the US).

I’ve been getting some really good feedback about this curriculum so far. Doug Fields said:

“REAL CONVERSATIONS HELPS TEENAGERS THINK ABOUT THEIR FAITH, THEIR APPROACH, AND PROVIDES REAL EXAMPLES OF HOW TO SHARE THEIR FAITH STORY. I’M THRILLED FOR THIS NEW RESOURCE TO BE OUT!”- Doug Fields

The curriculum features four sessions on the DVD, each about 12 minutes long, the last session a little longer because it features a scene between two teenage girls having a “faith conversation” where one girl shares her faith story in a real way. I had a group of 5 or 6 teenagers help me with the writing of that scene, keeping it real… not forced.

The participant’s guide features some devotional questions for students, then leaders’ notes with large group activities, small group questions… all you need for a full four-week evangelism curriculum.

In short, this training will encourage Christian teenagers to live authentic lives and gives them tools to reach out to their friends in ways that won’t give them cold sweats! The message is simple: an authentic faith creates opportunities to talk about Jesus.

CLICK HERE TO GET THIS TRAINING FOR LESS THAN $20

Posted in Books, Evangelism, Leadership, Youth Ministry Planning | | Leave A Comment

When Youth Ministries Involve Parents

Posted on: 04/22/12 9:51 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m a big advocate of youth ministries trying to provide venues where parents and teenagers interact, bond and even laugh together. Youth workers can be proactive about creating these kinds of venues—like PARENT NIGHT, FAMILY NIGHT or even MOTHER/DAUGHTER events.

That’s what Amber did. That’s why I asked her to write a guest post and give you a taste of what she did.

Amber is a volunteer youth worker in “nowhere” Nebraska. Trust me… it’s really in the middle of nowhere. I met Amber for the first time face-to-face a few weeks ago when I taught a parent workshop at her church in Nebraska. It was amazing to see so many from their rural community come out—great fun! After the workshop, Amber pulled me aside and thanked me for so many of the free resources we’ve been providing to youth workers like her for years, including an up-front game she had just used on a parent night- Battle of the Generations. The more she shared, the more I realized that she had a lot of fun ideas to offer. So I asked Amber to share a little about some of the evenings she planned and maybe let us know some of the specific activities she used.

So here’s a fun little guest post from front lines Nebraska youth worker, Amber:

Hey Jonathan,

You suggested I send an e-mail about some of the activities and games we have enjoyed on our parent/teenager nights, so here it is. I also plan to put some reviews on the website. LOVE all the games, thanks so much!!

I have used the “Parent Game” from your “Parent Night” and “Battle of the Generations” in our yearly Family Night event, and both the kids and the parents have loved it. I also recently did a purity retreat with girls and their moms, and we did our own version of the “Parent Game”. The girls were having so much fun that they were actually begging me to keep playing the game. I told them I didn’t have any more questions, but they asked me to make up some more so they could keep playing. I think they really enjoy learning new things about their moms, especially when the other girls are doing the same thing. I also think they enjoy it when they see how well their mom knows them!

Here is our version of the Mom/Daughter game:
Each person had some paper and a marker (small marker boards would work great here) and wrote their answer, then everyone held up their papers at the same time. This saves lots of time and is much more fun than having one group leave the room.

QUESTIONS FOR MOMS

What is your daughters favorite color of toenail polish?

If you could throw away one thing from your daughter’s closet, what would it be?

If you had to guess one guy in your daughter’s class that she might marry, who would it be?

If you and your daughter were on a road trip together, who would have to stop for a bathroom break first?

If she had to pick today, what colors would your daughter pick for her wedding?

QUESTIONS FOR DAUGHTERS

What were the colors at your parents wedding?

What is your mom’s favorite movie?

What is the coolest car your mom ever drove?

What is your mom’s favorite day of the week?

Who was your mom’s best friend in high school?

How many times per day does your mom check her Facebook page?

We also love your “Dance Dance Evolution” game and “Time Check” game for our Family Nights.

I also plan to give away copies of your parent book, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, at our next Family Night! 🙂

Thanks again,

~Amber Thornton

Thanks Amber! Those are some awesome ideas that might get our own creative juices flowing!

What about you?
Have you tried these kinds of venues with parents?

What worked well?

What didn’t work well?

Posted in Family, Parenting, Youth Ministry Planning | | Leave A Comment

Coming to Your City

Posted on: 04/19/12 3:48 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Here’s a quick post to let you know my travel schedule so far for 2012 (because my fall calendar is already filling up). NOTE: For those of you on the west coast, I’ll be in Cali this coming weekend in Fresno, CA… then again early May at Azusa Pacific University at the FAM Conference (we just posted winners who won free registration for this conference, and you can also still get 50% discounts to that conference)…

HEAR JONATHAN IN PERSON:

April 22, 2012(Fresno, CA)
Preach, Parent Workshop, First Presbyterian Church of Fresno

April 25, 2012(Myrtle Beach, SC)
Understanding, Recruiting & Leading GEN Y Volunteers, SDVSHO Regional Conf.

May 10-12, 2012(Azusa, CA)
Teach the Parenting Track, FAM Conference

June 17, 2012(Carmichael, CA)
Preach, Father’s Day, Christ Community Church

July 15, 2012(Carmichael, CA)
Preach, Christ Community Church

August 19, 2012(Albuquerque, NM)
Preach, Parent Workshop, Eastern Hills Baptist Church

September 15, 2012(Highland, MI)
Connect Workshop, Highland United Methodist Church

September 16, 2012(Highland, MI)
Preach, Parent Workshop, Highland United Methodist Church

September 26, 2012(Dallas, TX)
Training Workshops, D6 Conference

October 7, 2012(Boise, ID)
Preach, Parent Workshop, First Baptist Church Boise

October 12-14, 2012(San Diego, CA)
Training Workshops, Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention

October 28, 2012(Bluffton, IN)
Preach, Parent Workshop, Hope Missionary Church

November 16-18, 2012(Dallas, TX)
Training Workshops, Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention

CLICK HERE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT BRINGING JONATHAN TO YOUR CITY TO TEACH A PARENTING WORKSHOP

Posted in Parenting, Travel | | Leave A Comment

Mean Christians

Posted on: 04/17/12 5:17 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I guess a lot of Christians think that the “ends” justify the “being mean.”

This past week myself and a few friends in the youth ministry world have had several spears thrown at us. I’m not surprised at all when people disagree. It happens. But I am surprised when so-called followers of Christ think they have a license to be “mean.” No need for a big vocabulary word there… “mean” says it all.

One of the dangerous things about having an online presence is that you subject yourself to criticism from anonymous faultfinders. That probably one of the reasons why I secretly enjoy this little Saturday Night Live video about these kinds of “commenters”.

Don’t get me wrong, I get plenty of encouragement from most of you; but it’s interesting how one negative voice in your ear can really pierce through. I know I shouldn’t let it… but mean words are hard to filter out at times.

Just a few days ago while my family was on a trip down to Southern California to visit my son at his college, I got up early to check email. Some guy tweeted a link to me and said, “Something for your little evangelism contest.” The article he linked was an awkward article about a guy using very aggressive methods to bring people to Christ. I didn’t really know what this tweeter meant by the link. But, trying to be cordial and respond, I tweeted him back, saying something like, “Ha… that’s an interesting one.” An hour or so later I’m eating breakfast with my family and I notice a tweet reply on my phone. It was that same guy. Here’s what he said:

“Really, one of the most noble witnessing events ever just gets a “Ha” from you? I pity the people impressed by you.”

Now, he probably didn’t know this… but that really affected me. It really hurt.

I hadn’t mean anything with my “ha” response. In hindsight, I guess I shouldn’t have responded at all because I was actually confused by his comment, assuming he was being sarcastic (one of the difficulties of the internet- lack of non-verbal cues). Come to find out, this guy was truly upset at Youth Specialties’ little evangelism contest and thought it did “more harm than good.” Again… people will disagree. But where does this “Christian, Full Time Home Missionary to Students and Their Families” (I’m quoting his Twitter description), feel justified in telling someone, “I pity the people impressed by you.”

Wow!

I can’t help but wonder if he would have said that to me in public? Is this how he talks to his pastor if he doesn’t like his sermon? Is this how he talks with his wife? Or are these spears saved for the brothers and sisters in Christ that he’ll never see face to face.

Last week a guy went on a blogging rampage against my friends Doug Fields and Mark Matlock. I’m not going to even give the guy the courtesy of linking his blog, but trust me, it was mean! His blog was not only pure nonsense… it was mean.

He defended himself saying that he was trying to raise awareness.

No. He was just being mean.

A couple months ago we launched a new video series for parents called R U Listening. Each week we share a teenage perspective on parenting and then have an author or speaker respond with their two cents. Just two videos into the series we started getting some cruel feedback, personal attacks on David and I (I think they were from some of those guys in the video linked above).

It was mean.

I expect it from the world, but personally, it’s really difficult to receive from the body of Christ.

I see why the Apostle Paul spent so much time in his letters encouraging unity and warning us of backbiters who love to gossip and slander. We can prophesy and have faith that will move mountains… but without love… GONG!!!! CLANG!!!

Maybe that’s why Paul encouraged us to not talk in a way that divides believers, but “builds them up.” That’s what “unwholesome” talk means (no, it doesn’t mean cuss words).

So, some thoughts for us to consider (because I need this as much as you) from Paul’s letter to Ephesians, the end of Chapter 4.

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

How can you kind to someone today?

How can you show compassion?

Who is someone you need to forgive?

Posted in Faith, Jonathan's Rant, Personal | | Leave A Comment

Vote for Your Favorite Video

Posted on: 04/16/12 5:25 PM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s time for you to vote on the best “bad evangelism” video.

This fun little contest launched with the approach of my brand new evangelism curriculum, REAL CONVERSATIONS, which will be on the shelves in less than a month now (you might have already noticed it on sale on our web site right now for just $19.49, which is $10 off). I’m really excited about this curriculum. I’ve been getting emails for years from people who couldn’t afford to fly somebody out for the weekend to train their student leaders, asking me about some good “do-it-yourself” training options. Now here’s a four-week full curriculum for less than $20 –on our site– that will help you motivate and equip your kids to reach out. It has four sessions on DVD plus individual study guides for the teenagers, and a leaders guide that includes large group activities, small group questions… everything you need! Not too shabby.

Since the DVD training includes some vignettes about “how NOT to share your faith,” Youth Specialties announced this training with a “Bad Evangelism” contest. Youth groups submitted videos, and YS selected four finalists.

Watch the four finalists and vote here–quite a variety to choose from. The first one, the “Evangelism Linebacker” was probably the most polished and commercial-like. But the second one really captured some snapshots of evangelism blunders that might be a little too real for many youth groups. Kudos to them for the forethought that went into this video. The third one was more of a look at bad evangelism from the pulpit (Really funny for a home-made video… I love the organ). The fourth was another creative idea of how NOT to share.

In general, it looks like youth groups really had a fun time with this little contest. Hopefully it spurred some thinking about how to really have these kinds of “real conversations.”

Cast your vote. Voting is from now until 4/23.

Posted in Books, Evangelism, Youth Ministry Planning | | Leave A Comment

Born in 1969

Posted on: 04/15/12 8:43 AM | by Jonathan McKee

My wife and I are now both 42 years old. She was born in 69, me in 70. But every time I look at her I can’t help but think, “She’s even prettier than when I met her at 20-years-old.”

Lori will make comments about “feeling old.” I always just tell her, “Baby, if you’re old… then I like old!!!!” Because she looks great now (like in this candid shot of her here= that she’ll probably kill me for posting). Born in 1969 must be a good thing. Apparently the world agrees, because some of the world’s “most beautiful people” were born then. Yep… here’s just a glimpse:

Jennifer Lopez. Born 7/24/69 -Voted the World’s Most Beautiful Women!
Gwen Stefani. Born 10/3/69 – Gorgeous at 42 and still making great music.
Jennifer Anniston 2/11/69 -Voted #1 of the 100 hottest women of all time by Men’s Health.
Kate Blanchet. Born 5/14/69- Or the beautiful “Lady Galadriel” as known by all the Lord of the Rings’ nerds.
Renee Zellweger. Born 4/25/69 -She had the world at “Hello.” (Or was that Tom Cruise?)
Catherine Zeta Jones. Born 11/25/69 -Still turning heads.
Mariah Carey. Born 3/27/69. Looking young as ever.

And probably one of the most beautiful people born in 1969…

Gerard Butler. Born on 11/13/69 and looking best in his King Leonidas beard. 🙂

(I probably shouldn’t mention that Jack Black was born on 8/28/69 and Zack Galiflanakis was born on 10/1/69.)

So Lori, when you look in the mirror and make comments about getting old, just remember… you’re not alone. There are plenty of others who are getting “better” just like you! But in my opinion, you only need to look at one face to prove that 1969 was a good year. Yours! Lori, you’re beautiful, and you’re like a good wine. You just gets better with age.

Better yet…someday we’ll both be old and wrinkled, and then I’ll still have the best part of you… you! Your companionship is your real beauty!

Posted in Marriage, Personal | | Leave A Comment