The Wrong Speaker

Posted on: 02/23/12 8:04 PM | by Jonathan McKee

A few days ago we had a little contest where I provided you with my Top-10 list of How You Know You’ve Hired the Wrong Camp Speaker. Except, I only provided you with the top 9, and offered the new Skit Guys book for the best #1 answer. We received over 70 comments/entries… and my team has done the difficult task of choosing a winner.

I told each of my team members (David, Todd, Lori… the whole gang) to choose their 5 favorites. I then compared the lists.

Interestingly enough, people’s taste really differed drastically. But the final decision was easy, because only one answer made every single person’s list, and that was Joe Dore’s entry. So Joe… congrats! (email me with your address info so I can mail you your prize) You are the winner with this #1 answer:

Upon arrival he asks if there is time in the daily schedule to sign autographs for the little people.

There were some other great answers that made us laugh and appeared on a few of our lists of favs; these honorable mentions were:

Jon Forrest:
He proudly proclaims “this week we will cover all 3 commandments.”

He opens and closes his message using Klingon.

Brad Brimmer:
He asks you where his product table is so he can sell his “anointed” sweat rags.

Jack Hager:
He gives you a 2/12 page press release and tells you, “for clarity’s sake” to read it word for word as you introduce him.
(Good one Jack. I hate it when speakers do this)

Joe H:
He asks if any of the 18-year-old girls are available

He keeps telling you that you REALLY need to let HIM make the Kool-Aid that will be used at the end of the message.
(Good one- my 14-year-old Ashley even knew the history behind this one)

It was also interesting to hear all the true stories from people… experiences that people have actually had with camp speakers. Here’s a few of those scary experiences:

He didn’t show up.

He preached on the budget shortfall of the camp and gave an offering.

The video clip he gave you to show during his talk turns out to be porn. You confront him and he says, oops wrong thumb drive. That one was for research on my porn talk.

The speaker starts out his message on the topic of jewish marriage rituals and the bloody sheet (this actually happened at a winter retreat).

Thanks for participating. I’ve got a stack of books on my desk we’ll be giving away soon. So stay tune for more contests and giveaways!

4 Replies to “The Wrong Speaker”

  1. Amazing comments. One thing that often comes up is when a speaker says, “My message is so powerful, I don’t think I can keep it to _______________ (amount of allotted time.) Sometimes we are more excited about speaking than the people we are speaking to.

    1. Very true. And I find that many speakers speak way longer than needed. Funny. YS still has me teaching the seminar, “Using 10-Minute Talks,” equipping youth workers to focus their message into a shorter, yet powerful, “package” that kids grasp.

  2. I know you have moved on but just wanted to throw one more at ya…
    when the camp preacher wants to take a tour of all the cabins, before anyone has arrived-only later to find out he has planted a camera in the girls cabin. He gets caught weeks later by a pastors wife (in which he is staying with during a revival he is preaching) that found a strange looking pen on the counter of her bathroom as she was taking a shower. She realized it was a camera of some kind, plugged it into a computer and well the rest is history!

  3. Maybe it’s because I’m Pentecostal (A/G) but one thing that has been getting on my nerves lately with ANY speaker or Pastor I happen to see is when they look at their watch and apologize for taking the time that is allotted to them to preach the Word of God. And then the Holy Spirit starts to move on people and they go, “Oops! Our time is up!” and they cut it short.

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