Permission to Go to the Homecoming Dance

Posted on: 09/19/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This morning Alyssa and I had an very honest and open conversation about the homecoming dance this coming weekend.

I basically asked her, “Why am I letting you go?”

I think you’ll find the conversation intriguing.

This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about the homecoming dance. Last year I blogged about my struggle with the decision, giving my readers a glimpse at what goes on at school dances, and the second I posted it (Dad, Can I Go to the Homecoming Dance?), the comments started pouring in.

“I’m disgusted that parents would let their kids go.”

“Christians have no places at dances.”

“Why are all these kids who have a heart for Christ wanting to hang out in a place that is so entirely sinful?”

As I look at the playlist for this year’s dance (my daughter caught a sneak peek of it on Facebook and sent me a copy—I just wrote about it in detail here in my latest post at DougFields.com), I began second-guessing my decision to let her go. So I decided to Continue reading “Permission to Go to the Homecoming Dance”

The Top of the Charts… are Clean?

Posted on: 09/12/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Is there any good music worth downloading?

Speaking personally, I love music. My daughters and I share an iTunes account, and when one of us downloads a song, the other two automatically receives the download. Rarely will a week pass without one of us downloading something, and then you’ll hear the other two of us commenting…

 “Oh cool, I didn’t know The Script had a new song!”

“Have you heard this one from The Killers.”

“Sweet one from Gungor.” (Isn’t Gungor awesome? Can’t get enough of them!)

But at times, I’m a little disappointed with today’s music that makes it to the top of the charts. Sure, there was raunchy music and music videos when I was in high school, but not as commonplace, and not so easily accessible for curious young eyes and ears. (When I was a teenager I didn’t have a screen that allowed me an abundance of risqué videos just a click away.)

I teach at least two workshops a month where I provide a glimpse at pop-youth culture. So I have a pretty good taste of what’s usually in the top 10. And let’s just say, I don’t have to go hunting for raunchy lyrics and videos. Like this past weekend, where I simply showed them the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, a song about oral sex.

But I encouraged parents, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” The charts aren’t all bad. As I write this, the charts are actually particularly clean Continue reading “The Top of the Charts… are Clean?”

Caring and Careless

Posted on: 09/10/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

“What’s the big deal?” “It’s no biggie!” “Who Cares!”

Sound like something out of your teenager’s mouth? Then you’re not alone. If I had to describe today’s generation of young people in one sentence, I’d probably say something like this: “They care…but they don’t care.”

I gave my Twitter followers a morsel of this while I was working on my youth culture presentation for my parent workshop yesterday. I described today’s teenagers as caring, but careless. They are sensitive to causes, but desensitized to the lure of risky behaviors in their lives.

I Care
Today’s young people seem to want to make an impact more than any generation prior. I don’t mean any disrespect to past generations; it’s just that young people today are Continue reading “Caring and Careless”

Deciding If Hunger Games Is Appropriate

Posted on: 08/20/12 5:00 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Are parents preparing their kids to make good media decisions… or just over-protecting them?

Last weekend I sat with a young couple who were trying to decide whether the box office smash Hunger Games, now on blu-ray and DVD, is appropriate for their middle school daughter.

The wife concluded, “The two of us are going to watch it first, then we’ll determine if it’s appropriate for her.”

I applaud their methodology. If you think that a movie is questionable, then screen it first. ask yourself the four questions I asked in my post, After Seeing Hunger Games: Continue reading “Deciding If Hunger Games Is Appropriate”

Lust or Love?

Posted on: 07/30/12 5:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Love and lust are both frequented topics in today’s top music. The question most of us wonder is, “Do our kids know the difference?”

My good friend David R. Smith just posted an excellent Youth Culture Window article on the topic of love and lust in today’s top music. David dives into the lyrics of the top songs this week, reporting that 4 out of the top 10 fall in the “lust” category, and providing us with some helpful questions to ask teenagers about each of these songs.

But articles like this beg the question: are we just throwing stones here? At what point do we as parents and youth workers come across as whiney old people sitting on the porch ranting, “When I was your age…”

I guess that really depends how we discuss the subject matter with young people. Should we simply label these songs “bad”? Some of these songs are a mixed bag of nuts. For example, Continue reading “Lust or Love?”

A “Gamer’s” Look at the “2012 Most Anticipated Video Game” List: DAY 1

Posted on: 07/25/12 3:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last week Nielsen released a list of the “2012 Most Anticipated Video Games,” casting their vote as to which console video game titles have the greatest consumer anticipation for 2012. Halo 4 topped their list for Xbox 360 gamers, with Call of Duty: Black Ops II right on the heels.

Seeing that we have a video game reviews page for parents on www.TheSource4Parents.com, I thought it would be good to let a few of my Game-gurus chime in with their two cents about this list.

Today, Gamer James Trevillian shares his opinion about Nielsen’s list, as well as what parents might expect from content: Continue reading “A “Gamer’s” Look at the “2012 Most Anticipated Video Game” List: DAY 1″

Can You Blow My Whistle Baby?

Posted on: 07/9/12 3:30 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Little Wayne wanted girls to lick his lollipop, now Flo Rida wants girls to “blow his whistle.” I’m talking about the new song, Whistle. I was sitting with a parent last week who said that his kids were asking about downloading this popular Flo Rida song. The parent asked me, “Is it clean?”

Well, the song is definitely in the ears of kids today. It is currently #3 on iTunes, and this week it just moved from #58 to #20 on the Billboard Hot 100 (Billboard is always catching up to iTunes). It’s another catchy little diddy from the guy who brought us “Apple Bottom jeans, boots with the fur…” The rapper Flo Rida is slowly but steadily releasing hits.

Here’s the chorus of Whistle: Continue reading “Can You Blow My Whistle Baby?”

A Painfully Empty House

Posted on: 07/1/12 9:52 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Wednesday I dropped off Lori, Alyssa and Ashley at the San Francisco airport with my parents where the 5 of them boarded a big bird headed to Europe where they will spend two weeks hitting Italy, France, Switzerland and Germany.

I’m torn.

Part of me is thrilled that they get to do this trip. It started when Ashley did a report for school, years ago, about Florence, Italy and some of its architecture. My dad told her that they would take her there some day. Last year, they booked it, and Alyssa and Lori wanted in! I had enough airline miles to send all three of them with my parents, so Alec and I decided to stay home.

I know Lori and the girls will have a blast touring Europe with my parents… but the house is so quiet! Alec works and hangs out with his friends a lot, so many days it’s been just me. Continue reading “A Painfully Empty House”

Since Sex is a Reality in College…

Posted on: 06/28/12 10:45 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last month I attended too many graduation parties to count, high school seniors from our church saying goodbye to high school and hello to college. I wonder if their parents know what’s in store for them at Freshman orientation? The video, a YouTube video I tweeted about early this week, below provides an eye-opening glimpse.

I always find the discussion interesting comparing Christian colleges to secular universities. I’ve seen plenty of Christian kids go off to secular schools and live out their faith like “Daniel,” resolving not to get caught up in the culture. But are all our high school grads equipped for what they’ll hear?

Take the subject of sexual activity. The CDC just reported that 63.1% of high school seniors have already had sex by the time they walk across the stage and collect their diploma. In college, the pressure is on. If you aren’t having sex… you’re in the minority. Add drinking into the mix, and sex turns into sexual victimization (don’t believe me, check out this Rutgers study that I blogged about a little while back).

So what’s the world’s answer to this? Well.. check out this video, filmed by a student at a recent freshman orientation at a college. (Oh yeah… this isn’t a secular university)

What’s your reaction to this?

Daddy… Notice Me

Posted on: 06/20/12 1:10 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Last Sunday, on Father’s Day, I preached 4 services at a local church here in the Sacramento area. I gave a new talk for dads titled, “Daddy… Notice Me.”

My typical routine is to manuscript the entire talk, but then learn it well enough to do it extemporaneously without notes. That’s what I did on Sunday. Here’s a peek at the beginning of my manuscript, for those who are interested, and then a link to the audio on the church’s site if you wanna hear the talk online.

Daddy…Notice Me

It was about 7:25 AM on a Wednesday morning last January, and I said the coldest meanest cruelest thing you could say to a teenage girl. I said…

“Where is your coat?”

Yes. Those were my cruel words. That was my heinous crime. It’s 28 degrees outside, my daughter comes downstairs in jeans and a t-shirt and I ask her, “Where’s your coat.”

There’s Hitler, Osama Bin Laden…  and me!

Ashley responded to my atrocious and brutal demands.

“What coat? I don’t need a coat!”

That’s how the argument started. Sounds innocent enough, right? It’s January. The cars are all covered with frost. The cat is frozen solid on the back lawn! Isn’t it logical for a dad to ask his 14-year-old daughter where her coat is?

That’s what I thought. Fast forward just two minutes and you would have witnessed a full-blown apocalypse—tears, yelling, backpacks getting airborne. Even the dog retreated to the other room.

Where is that sweet little girl that used to look up to me with her big blue eyes and call me Daddy?

Apparently I didn’t get the memo that there was a jacket shortage in the house. Strike that. Thirteen different girls’ jackets habitat our front closet, just no fashionable jackets, worthy of a stylish freshman girl. That’s why my coat mandate was met with such opposition.

I didn’t see it coming. Having no clue that this would forever be remembered in the McKee house as ‘the coat incident of 2012,’ I maintained my ground. “Sorry Ashley, it’s January. You can see your breath. Put on a jacket and let’s go!”

Houston, we have liftoff.

No need to tell you the rest of that story. If you have a teenage daughter you’ve lived that story.

What am I missing here? Am I that clueless? Does raising teenage girls require drama? Is this an MTV reality show or my house?

Being a dad is difficult. This kind of stuff makes us hesitant to intervene.

Sadly, some dads experience moments like this and withdraw. It’s a common male response. We say, “I’m not even going to try to understand.” Sometimes…that’s smart. But some dads take that a little too far, and in attempt to distance themselves from this kind of drama, they distance themselves from their kids totally….

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN/DOWNLOAD THIS TALK
FROM THE CHURCH WEBSITE- JUNE 17, 2012

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