Religion a Salad Bar in America

Posted on: 06/24/08 5:51 PM | by Jonathan McKee

“Religion today in the USA is a salad bar where people heap on upbeat beliefs they like and often leave the veggies — like strict doctrines — behind.”

Wow… what an indictment! That’s USA Today’s summary of the new data from the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life‘s U.S. Religious Landscape Survey of 35,000 Americans. Most of these findings seem to parallel studies I quoted a few years ago about today’s culture in my Do They Run When They See You Coming book about reaching out to unchurched students.

This 2008 survey reveals some interesting findings about U.S. religious beliefs. A few highlights:

• 92% U.S. adults believe in God

58% say they pray at least once a day.

• 78% overall say there are “absolute standards of right and wrong,” but only 29% rely on their religion to delineate these standards. The majority (52%) turn to “practical experience and common sense,” with 9% relying on philosophy and reason, and 5% on scientific information.

• 74% say “there is a heaven, where people who have led good lives are eternally rewarded,” but far fewer (59%) say there’s a “hell, where people who have led bad lives and die without being sorry are eternally punished.”

• 70%, including a majority of all major Christian and non-Christian religious groups except Mormons, say “many religions can lead to eternal life.”

• 68% say “there’s more than one true way to interpret the teachings of my religion.”

• 44% want to preserve their religion’s traditional beliefs and practices. But most Catholics (67%), Jews (65%), mainline Christians (56%) and Muslims (51%) say their religion should either “adjust to new circumstances” or “adopt modern beliefs and practices.”

• 50% say “homosexuality is a way of life that should be accepted by society,” but the most consistently traditional religious groups say society should discourage it — 76% of Jehovah’s Witnesses, 68% of Mormons, 61% of Muslims and 64% of evangelicals.

• 51% have a certain belief in a personal God, but 27% are less certain of this, 14% call God “an impersonal force,” and 5% reject any kind of God. “People say ‘God,’ and no one knows who they mean,” says Kosmin, director of the Institute for the Study of Secularism in Society and Culture at Trinity College in Hartford, Conn.

• 14% of all surveyed, including 28% of evangelicals, say religion is the “main influence in their political thinking.”

Check out this link for a fantastic little interactive graph with a collection of these findings. Very cool! (Pew Forum always has great research- you heard a few of these results from us recently in our Youth Culture Window article on church attendance).

Another interesting fact about all of this… apparently my home state of California proved to be “less religious” than other states. (Oh stop it… I know, I know!) LA Times summarized some of these findings.

These are great facts to familiarize ourselves with to better understand the culture we’re trying to reach out to.

Belief in God… Just Not Church

Posted on: 05/20/08 9:47 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last Sunday I provided a quick “youth culture update” to a local group of youth leaders. In this training, I talked about how the majority of this young generation in America is open to God and spiritual beliefs… just not church attendance or organized religion (a fact I discussed in detail in my book about reaching out to the unchurched).

UK opinion columnist Camilla Cavendish draws the same conclusion about people in Britain. In this article she highlights the religious trends report suggesting there will be fewer people attending churches than mosques by 2040. Apparently only 6.3 percent of the UK population attends church on an average Sunday.

But does that mean 93.7 percent are atheists?

Not even close.

Cavendish, a self described “moonlighting agnostic,” gives us a glimpse into the reality that people might be interested in God… they just aren’t interested in church.

There is a fascinating debate to be had about cause and effect. But the only point I want to make is that being a Christian country has always been about more than belief in God and Sunday worship. In the 2001 census, seven in ten people described themselves as Christian, to the astonishment of many bishops; 22 per cent claimed to be still going to church at least once a year.

So Britain is very similar to America in that the majority of the country describe themselves as Christian, but very few attend church. My friend Dan Kimball expands on this phenomena in his book They Like Jesus, But Not the Church.

This coincides with much of what we’re hearing from people in the media (the source where much of this generation are drawing their opinions from). Celebrities make statements frequently that support this kind of thinking. In my Reaching Out to the Unchurched Training I often share quotes from the media preaching “belief in the spiritual” but resistance to “church or religion.”

“I think I find more strength in faith than I do in organized religion.”
– Jon Bon Jovi, Time, August 6, 2007, p. 6.

“I believe there is something out there.  I believe there is an energy, a Karma– you know– what goes around comes around.  And I hope to God that there is an afterlife . . . I don’t go to church that often.  I go for like Easter Sunday.  There is such a short period of time to live and I’d rather spend it ‘living life’ as apposed to sitting down and praying.”
-Hayden Panettiere, Interview, The Source for Youth Ministry

“I grew up in a family that called itself Catholic.  But nobody told me that to pray you have to go to a place.  I’ve always believed in God my own way.”
– Actress Penelope Cruz, Jane, March 2005, p. 109.

Hmmmmmmm.

I always find it interesting to get a peek into the minds of those we are trying to reach.

Are You Ready for Kids With Special Needs?

Posted on: 05/19/08 9:38 AM | by Jonathan McKee

And I thought I had experienced disruptive kids!

Carol Race can’t take her son to church. One Sunday she tried… and the Sheriff was waiting at the end of her driveway. The church had filed a restraining order. But according to this twin cities Star Tribune article, Carol’s son isn’t your average 13-year-old.

The Rev. Daniel Walz, who did not return calls left at the Church of St. Joseph parish office, wrote in court documents that Adam’s behavior was “extremely disruptive and dangerous.” He alleged that Adam, who is more than 6 feet tall and weighs over 225 pounds, spits and urinates in church and has nearly injured children and elderly people.

Wow. This wouldn’t be an easy situation for anyone. Carol’s son is autistic. Shouldn’t he be able to attend church? At the same time, are there boundaries of what behavior is tolerable?

How do we minister to special needs kids?

My wife volunteered in a Sunday school class where we had several autistic children that attended. Some were pleasant experiences, some were very difficult. If we as the church are unprepared for such a situation, the results can be very unpleasant for everyone. But with a little compassion and some pro-active planning, ministering to special needs kids can be one other aspect of our ministry where we can represent Christ not only in word, but in deed.

Being pro-active to minister to special needs kids always includes two elements:

1. Being prepared to offer one-on-one attention to special needs kids

2. Good communication with the parents

The best help in these situations is always providing “one-on-one” attention to these children. The church I attended realized that many of these special needs kids needed special attention. So the church assigned a single volunteer to these individual kids (yes, it should be no surprise that much of our job as youth or children’s workers is recruiting and managing volunteers). If the kid became too disruptive, then the volunteer could take the child on a walk or in another room. I attended one large church where they had a special room for special needs kids. This was a room set up with special toys and games reserved exclusively for these kids.

An open channel of communication with the parents is also always key. Parents of special needs kids should be assured primarily that we want to serve them and love them and their children. Then ask them for any advice about their child. Be a good listener. As you listen to their needs, explain to them what you can hope to provide with one-on-one attention and any special rooms or services. Then be sure to get a cell phone number or point of connection so you can call them for help if the situation gets out of hand. It’s not unfair to set boundaries.

My sister in law Amy is a speech therapist and works with numerous special needs kids, including autistic children. I emailed her about a special situation with a kid that was very disruptive in a youth group. Her response was very helpful:

To me, the physical outbursts have to be handled – I would definitely talk with the family and if they were unable to help control these, I may have to restrict the son’s involvement in certain events where he was more unmanageable.  I would also consider having some private chats with the regular ed students – how God has made us all in His image, and see if God has placed these (special needs) kids on any of the student’s hearts to directly minister to and “help out.”  It may help make them less “annoying” in the eyes of the group if the group has an opportunity to voice their frustrations and at the same time hear a bit of God’s perspective on these kids of His. 

I love how Amy not only gave good advice about communication and boundaries… but she talked about an opportunity for our entire youth group to minister.

Jesus came across a lot of people with special needs and always seemed to act in compassion. I think we should try to do the same.

The Day of… WHAT?

Posted on: 04/21/08 9:29 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Oh boy… here we go again. It’s happening next week.

Why is it that Christians always feel that they need to “stand up for their rights” and speak out against organizations, or governments that are caught up in sin?

Where is this in the Bible?

It’s probably no secret to some of you that this Friday is the pro-homosexual tolerance Day of Silence. This day brings attention to the anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. I’m not going to address the issue of homo-sexuality in this blog. I’ve addressed it before in blogs and articles. In this blog I’m simply addressing our RESPONSE to the world when we don’t like what we see. (and I’m going to highlight an example of how NOT to respond)

Why do Christians think that picket signs or protesting is the answer?

Let me ask you one question. Name one person you know that accepted Christ because someone “protested” them into the Kingdom.

So why do Christians feel the need to do this?

Oh… I know why. It’s because when Jesus looked at the corrupt government of his day (Are you aware of what was going on in Herod’s house at the time?) he must have responded by gathering a mob and picketing the immoral lifestyle… wait… just a second… you mean… he didn’t? Well maybe he started a website, organizing people to protest in another way? No?

Hmmmmmm.

Well, Christians have created their own day in response to the Day of Silence called The Day of Truth. On Monday, April 28, 2008, some Christians have decided to establish this day to “counter the promotion of the homosexual agenda and express an opposing viewpoint from a Christian perspective… The Day of Truth provides an opportunity to publicly exercise our free speech rights.”

When I saw this I immediately thought of a few conversations I’ve had with Dan Kimball on the subject. Dan is a Christian speaker and author who believes engaging in homosexual acts is a sin, but shows incredible compassion and love to the homosexual community (He touches on this in our podcast with him, Podcast Episode #12 and in his powerful book, They Like Jesus, But Not the Church). I asked Dan his opinion about this Christian response- The Day of Truth. Dan gave me some quick thoughts:

i think those types of things end up doing more harm than good. i would encourage parents to be talking with their teenagers and youth leaders addressing it wisely in their ministries, but doing a public event at a high school i am not sure is beneficial to the direction of hope.  i would encourage the Christian teenagers to simply be friends with gay students and pro-gay students, and in the context of friendships the message of jesus will come through. I don’t know if formalizing a date to do it only reinforces things and we lose our voice. 

I can’t agree more.

Earlier this year many of us saw statistics of just how bad we look to the rest of the world. Only 16% of unchurched people had positive things to say about Christians. The majority of them used words like “hypocrite” and “judgemental” to describe us.

It all comes down to this. The Day of Truth web site is not without good intentions. They seem to be seeking conversation with homosexuals. Their cards bear this as part of their message:

It’s time for an honest conversation about homosexuality.
There’s freedom to change if you want to.
Let’s talk.

I think talking is good. But here’s what I’ll leave you with: If our goal is conversations, do you really think a formal day of “speaking out” will create conversations with homo-sexuals? Or will it build walls?

Relationships Retreat Resources

Posted on: 04/14/08 8:00 AM | by Jonathan McKee

On THE SOURCE Podcast Episode #14 Furby and I talked about a retreat that Furby’s church does for junior high students every year called the Relationships Retreat. It’s a retreat where they talk about everything to do with sex and dating- a whole weekend on the subject.

In the podcast we discuss it and then we mention that we’ll provide you with the rough outline of what subjects they talked on and any books and or websites they used for reference material. So here’s the list, as promised:

FROM FURBY

Topics we hit at the Relationships Retreat:
 
• Self-Image and Puberty
• Friendship (God’s plan for real friendship)
• Dating (boundaries, how far is too far, etc.)
• Porn and Masturbation (we split up the guys and girls for this)
• Sex and consequences
• What to do if you’ve messed up in the past
• Purity Challenge (VERY DISTINCT from a Virginity Challenge)

Here’s a list of GREAT resources we used to write our booklet and to teach out of.  I’ve put the books in order of most used and relevant:

Purity Under Pressure.  Neil T. Anderson & Dave Park
The Invisible Bond.  Barbara Wilson  (Barb’s book and all her work are incredible.  We ALWAYS have Barb or one of her interns come and speak at our retreat.  Her work and ability to communicate are incredible.  I would highly recommend to anyone trying to do a Relationships Retreat that they make Barb Wilson an essential part of the their Retreat.)
Sex God. Rob Bell
Sexy Girls.  Hayley Dimarco
Too Close Too Soon.  Jim Talley & Bobbie Reed
The What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Boys.  Lynda Madaras
And the Two Became One.  Dianne S. Dewane
God on Sex.  Daniel L. Akin

And of course Jonathan’s resources and his seminar: www.RecommendingSex.com

And here’s some more web sites:
www.sitemaker.umich.edu  (University of Michigan educational website)
www.icrsurvey.com  (stats)
www.cdc.gov  (Center for Disease Control)
www.teenpregnancy.org

Now it’s your turn. We want you to use the comment feature of this blog to let us know what resources you have used to teach on the subject.

This blog is just the first on this subject this week. Tomorrow we talk about the “1 in 4 teenage girls have an STD” statistic.

Cell Phone Use at Youth Group

Posted on: 03/25/08 9:00 AM | by Jonathan McKee

In our current THE SOURCE podcast (Episode #13) I promised I’d blog about it. It’s something youth leaders all deal with. We’ve heard it countless times: Every kid in our youth room has a cell phone in their pocket!
  –
How do I communicate to kids to stop texting during worship?
  – Can I say “no cell phones” on our trips?
  –
What if parents WANT their kids to have cell phones with them?

These are great questions. And, as we said in our podcast, we WANT YOU to help us answer. Here’s the situation:

In the HELP ME section of our most recent podcast, youth worker Matt from Longview, TX asked us:

Our small youth group (25-30) has taken to text-messaging on their cell phones. I’m not against cell phone use, but it has become a distraction. Have you got any ideas for boundaries/limits to cell phone use during youth group activities? Secondly, have you got any clever ideas on how to address the youth with these boundaries? Do you know of successful ways of dealing with this issue? -Matt Longview, TX, USA

In the podcast David and I shared some funny “cell phone” experiences and provided our 2 cents on the matter. The most difficult situation to figure out was what to do on trips. After all, many parents want their kids to have their cell phones so they can be reached (have you read about the epidemic of helicopter parents?). David suggested that we don’t circumvent parents’ authority on the matter, and allow cell phones. Just tell kids to not use cell phones EXCEPT to communicate with their parents.

This, of course, brought a skeptical laugh out of me. So I asked David, “How the heck do you monitor that?!!”

It’s not an easy answer. And there probably isn’t ONE answer. So… we want to hear from you.

  • How do you control cell phone use at youth group?

  • Do you allow cell phones on trips?

  • Should we put the foot down and say, “no cell phones” on trips?

  • If we allow cell phones on trips, how can we control use?

Share your 2 cents by commenting below. (and if you’re not yet a subscriber to this blog, just click on the red word “Subscribe” on the left side bar and sign up. It’s free and it will keep you current)

Funny Church Signs

Posted on: 03/7/08 1:43 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I guess there is more than one way to try to get someone to go to church!

I don’t know if a big sign, “Go to Church or the Devil Will Get You!” convinces you… it wouldn’t convince me. But these signs are entertaining to look at none the less.

The UK’s Times Online provides a fun little galary of these pics. Just click on the little multimedia link that says “Funny Church Signs.”

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Americans Keep Switching Religions!

Posted on: 02/26/08 4:52 PM | by Jonathan McKee

The report was released just Monday. The results are in…

Americans are fickle about their religion!

The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life released the results of their 35,000 person poll concluding, “Americans not only change jobs, change where they live, and change spouses… they change religions too.”

Yahoo News reports:

According to Pew, 28% of American adults have left the faith of their childhood for another one. And that does not even include those who switched from one Protestant denomination to another; if it did, the number would jump to 44%.

Some other interesting facts from the report:

  • one third of Americans raised Catholic have left the church
  • two thirds of Jehovah’s Witnesses have left that church
  • the single biggest “winner” of a group that has changed their minds was the group called “unaffiliated” (including athiests and agnotics) who lost 50% of their original group to one church or another.
  • the highest rates for marrying within one’s own faith were Hindus (90%) and Mormons (83%)

The summary of the report has a nice chart that summarizes it pretty well. The actual report web page is pretty interesting, even at a glance. You can look at an AFFILIATIONS page that breaks down the percentage of people from each religion in the US, or look at a MAP that shows you the percentage of US adults affiliated with certain groups per state, or even look at the PORTRAITS of a particular religious group, detailing the demographic characteristics such as age, ethnicity, educational level, and income level.

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Gen @, Millennials, Gen Y… Whatever You Call Them

Posted on: 02/20/08 3:47 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Generation Y (or “Gen @” as I call them in my newest book) has been frequenting the business sections of papers across the world. People just don’t know what to do with this generation of young business people that are as old as their late twenties.

In this Dallas News article, ad exec Owen Hannay doesn’t hold back in his feelings about this generation:

It’s not that millennials lack the creative genius or technological know-how that he’s looking for. Far from it, he says. It’s more that they lack the real-world grounding it takes to deal with responsibility, accountability and setbacks.

“They wipe out on life as often as they wipe out on work itself,” says Mr. Hannay, who let go more than a dozen millennials from his 130-person staff over the course of 2006.

That’s when he stopped hiring them. “They get an apartment and a kitty, and they can’t cope. Work becomes an ancillary casualty. They’re good kids with talent who want to succeed. That’s what makes me nuts.”

The article goes on to talk about how this generation needs to be understood.

I’m always intrigued by Gen @ simply because they are one of the largest sources of our volunteers in youth ministry. Despite their bratty, narcissistic reputation, many employers and volunteer managers are finding them to be worth the struggle.

I have to agree. If you harness the passion and potential of these young professionals, you’ll find that you have a huge asset on your team. (Here is an excerpt from my new book THE NEW BREED on that very subject.)

Child Preachers

Posted on: 02/18/08 9:47 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Wow… I preached my first sermon as a freshman in High School and I thought I started young!

These are hilarious. These children not only are imitating preaching, they have every gesture, every voice inflection… these kids have been paying attention!

This one (below) is quick:

But this one (below) is really funny. Especially at about 50 seconds to about a minute 10.

And this kid below (I think it’s the same one as above… not sure) can barely talk, yet he already has his preaching style nailed! I love it about 50 seconds into it when he opens the Bible to go through what he “went through last week!” LOL.  Then at 2:10 he tells you what happens to us if we don’t obey. You can even hear a few voices in the background giving “Amens” throughout.

Hmmmmm.

 

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