2011 - Page 17 of 18 - Jonathan's Blog From The Source

A Little Movie/Music “Contest” for ya

Posted on: 01/27/11 11:02 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… I’m feeling like giving some books away.

I’m going to give away 10 of my books. 10 people will win a book of their choice… and winning is very simple. Here’s how to play.

We just totally revamped our new MOVIE CLIP DISCUSSIONS page and our MUSIC DISCUSSIONS page on our TheSource4YM.com site (I have to specify which site now that we have our parents site also). These pages are awesome! Now they are each organized by the song/movie (and the songs can also be organized by artist), topic of discussion, and rating. This is a great tool… because once people start going thru and rating these discussion resources, people will be able to organize them and select them by the “highest rated.” Pretty cool, huh?

So here’s what I want you to do. I want you to check out some of these resources- just give a few of them a solid read-thru. Each of them provides small group questions, transition statements, wrap ups, etc. (all you need, really). Read em, then post a comment and rate em! (choose 1 thru 5 stars).

For some of you, this will be easy. You can start by just rating/commenting on the MUSIC or MOVIE discussions you have already used with your group. Let us know how the discussion went. Rate them suitably. I just did this myself on the Movie Clip Discussions page. I organized the list by Title, selected the “Batman Begins” discussion (my absolute favorite), made a comment and rated it.

Each time you post a comment and rate one of these resources… I’ll put your name in the hopper for a free book. Yep. If you rate 15 of our resources… your name goes in there 15 times!

I’ll draw 10 winners.

I’ll run this contest for a week or so then post the winners in my blog. Winners can select any of my books. So rate/comment as many of those discussions as possible!

Posted in Books, Contests | | Leave A Comment

MTV Goes Too Far?

Posted on: 01/26/11 6:10 PM | by Jonathan McKee

When I was in Korea, I quickly blogged with you about MTV’s new show Skins, a racy look at teen partying, sex and drug abuse.

I promised you more.

This week, we’ve featured an entire Youth Culture Window article about the show. I encourage you to take a peek at this article, and chime in with your own comments. Some great discussion already about whether MTV is just portraying reality (don’t students always lay around in a pile like this?)… or is MTV simply being irresponsible once again.

One thing for sure, MTV is definitely taking some heat with this one. Who knows. Maybe the execs are secretly giggling, welcoming the controversial publicity. But I wouldn’t be so sure. Being accused of “violating child porn laws” is a serious onslaught.

Take a peek at our article HERE.

UPDATE: Another article about MTV “standing by” Skins, despite the number of advertisers pulling out and despite the U.S. government investigation into possible violations of laws on the sexual exploitation of minors. Read about that here: http://reut.rs/eLhjbJ

Posted in Entertainment Media, Sexuality, TV, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Tough Parenting

Posted on: 01/25/11 4:31 PM | by Jonathan McKee

A lot of buzz about the parenting style of Amy Chua, Yale law professor and self-described “tiger mother.”

Amy claims to be raising her kids “the Chinese way.” She forced her daughter to practice the piano for hours on end until she got it right. She called her other daughter “garbage” after she behaved bad. She gives new meaning to the world “strict.”

But let’s be honest. Discipline isn’t easy. Maybe that’s why so many parents are curious about Amy Chua’s methods. Time Magazine goes into great detail about Amy’s parenting style in their cover story, Tiger Moms: Is Tough Parenting Really the Answer?

Other columnists are reacting to Amy’s style. New York Times columnist David Brooks even calls her a “wimp,” claiming that she is taking the easy road.

I believe she’s coddling her children. She’s protecting them from the most intellectually demanding activities because she doesn’t understand what’s cognitively difficult and what isn’t.

Practicing a piece of music for four hours requires focused attention, but it is nowhere near as cognitively demanding as a sleepover with 14-year-old girls. Managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics, understanding social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group — these and other social tests impose cognitive demands that blow away any intense tutoring session or a class at Yale.

So what’s the answer parents are looking for?

Most parents seem to float to one of two extremes: the ultra tough disciplinarian, or the “anything goes” parent. The tough parent wants to raise healthy, disciplined kids (plenty of research to back up setting the bar high). Sadly, a number of these parents get so focused on their child’s “performance” that they forget to reveal consistent love and nurture. So swings the pendulum to… the “anything goes” parent– a severe over-reaction. This parent feels that any discipline is lacking in love and nurture, so… anything goes.

I’ve seen kids from both extremes.

I’ll be honest. I’m biased. I’m a recovering “ultra tough disciplinarian. I was always very strict with my kids, all under the umbrella of love. That’s easy to “just say,” by the way. Many strict parents claim, “Oh, my kids know that the reason I am so strict is because I love them.” Oh, really? When is the last time you told them that. Better yet… when is the last time they perceived that?

I know this well, because at times, I was waaaaaay to hard on my son Alec. Yes, he was in need of discipline. And yes, I meant well. But the bottom line was, he wasn’t feeling very loved when Dad was always talking in harsh tones.

Sorry. Tough love expressed as just “tough” is not good enough. Love also needs to be expressed by noticing, listening, and investing. These activities might be as simple as hanging out with our kids and having conversations with them (not one-way conversations).

I’m still strict. But I’m also very relational with my kids now. Parents can’t expect to enforce rules without a relationship. It’s only out of the hours of time I spend with my kids laughing, talking, and just “hanging out” that I’ve earned the respect from them when I say, “No.” It’s a tough balancing act. And I’ve learned a few tricks to avoid always saying, “No.” Sometimes I ask them questions and lead them to discover the answer by themselves (I go into more detail about this in my discipline chapter in my new parenting book coming out this Spring).

Right now on our TheSource4Parents.com site we are featuring a helpful article about discipline from my friend Jim Burns.

Which way do you lean? Are you a tough parent, or anything goes?

Posted in Discussion Ideas, Family, Parenting, Personal | | Leave A Comment

20 Years

Posted on: 01/21/11 11:56 AM | by Jonathan McKee

21 years ago, when I was 19-years-old and home from college on break, I saw this 19-year-old brunette walk into my home church’s college group and quietly sit in the corner. I thought, “Wow!”

5 months later, when I got back from school, I asked her out.

3 months later we were engaged.

6 months later we were married.

That was 20 years ago.

Lori is amazing. We got married as two kids (I was 20, she was 21). Now, we have three teenagers of our own, and one of them is about ready to go to college. I am so in love with this girl!

I’m not going to be tending to emails/blog for next week. We’re out celebrating 20-years in an undisclosed tropical location (plenty of sand, waves and palm trees).

I can’t wait for the next 20 years with this girl!

Posted in Family, Marriage, Personal | | Leave A Comment

And Your Mom’s Gonna Hate It

Posted on: 01/19/11 6:42 AM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s no secret that controversy can be a good marketing tool.

Maybe that’s why the makers of Dead Space 2 are trying an interesting viral video approach to market their new violent video game. (So is my blogging about it helping them? Hmmmmm.)

The game creators sat down hundreds of moms and filmed their reactions to the most violent and horrific scenes from the game, showing us their facial expressions in a commercial. Then they provide comments from some of the moms, comments like, “It’s horrible!” “It’s demonic!” Then the commercial finishes with the slogan, “It’s everything you love in a game, and your mom’s gonna hate it!”

Here’s the video.

Creative marketing, I’ll give it that. It just worked for MTV’s Skins earlier this week. When the Parents Television Council deems your show “the most dangerous show for teens,” it helps create a hype.

Remember when churches tried to ban Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ. The film didn’t even need previews. Every news station was chatting about the controversy.

Video games have been the center of controversy for decades. This week on our web page David provides an amazing insight into the recent gaming world in his brand new Youth Culture Window article, The Dominance of Video Games: And What it Means for Today’s Teenagers.

(ht to Jon Forrest)

Posted in Entertainment Media, Internet, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Skins

Posted on: 01/16/11 11:58 PM | by Jonathan McKee

The show is called “Skins” and it premiered on MTV Monday.

MTV.com describes the show like this: “Take a peek at the wild ride of sex, drugs and friendship that is ‘Skins’…” The Parents Television Council (PTC) has deemed the show the most irresponsible program MTV has done yet.

Wow! Think about that. More irresponsible than Jersey Shore? The Hard Times of RJ Berger? Tila Tequila? If you take a peek at any of the videos of “Skins” that MTV.com provides, you probably will agree with PTC’s accusation.

To add to the one-two-punch of irresponsibility, MTV.com encourages young people to “Answer some questions about the wild side of your life to get your SKINS SCORE, then post your score to Facebook to see who is the wildest out of your friends.”

The show’s premier was huge. It was one of the most “Twittered” subjects, and it’s links dominate the front page of MTV.com, with banners like this where kids can click to see the episode: (Hmmmmm…. what are they selling here?)

Nielsen Media Research reported that MTV was the most recognized network among young adults age 12 to 34. This year alone MTV delivered the #1 series across all of television- Jersey Shore, the top two original cable series, and eight of the top 10 cable telecasts (age 12-34). Bottom line: many of our kids are watching this channel, and will be tuning in to this show this week.a

I’m in an airport in Korea right now waiting for my flight home. I just spent the weekend doing ministry here at a US Military base. In my parent workshop last night I chatted with parents about this show, letting them know that this is yet another reason to just block MTV at their house.

After I recover from jet lag… I’ll probably be chiming in a little more about this show and the conversations we can have with our kids who do watch it (because let’s face it… a lot of parents aren’t monitoring this content).

Posted in Entertainment Media, Sexuality, TV | | Leave A Comment

In Korea

Posted on: 01/14/11 1:07 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Yesterday I flew to Korea. I’m hear to speak for the weekend. So far we’ve had a great time.

I think the highlight was when my buddy Lorin, who traveled with me, asked our host (a U.S. civilian who runs a youth ministry on the Yongsan military base over here), “So is it true that they eat dog over here?”

More on that hilarious conversation in a minute.

We flew over here yesterday on a direct flight from San Francisco (2 hours from my house) to South Korea (near Seoul). The flight left at 11:30 am and was about 12 hours. So we landed about midnight California time, but it was 4PM the next day in Korea.

I didn’t sleep on the plane for two reasons:
1. It’s uncomfortable anyway in coach! 🙂
2. I figured that I wanted to sleep a good night’s sleep when I arrived… so I didn’t want to mess with my sleep.

Mission successful. I stayed awake for the whole flight, reading, watching the in flight movies, etc. then met the people I’m going to minister with for the weekend, went to my hotel and slept a good 8 hours right away!

So it was on our ride from the airport that my friend Lorin asked, “So do they eat dog over here?”

Randy, our host, says, “Yes, but it’s not like they just kill dogs on the street. They raise then like cattle.”

Lorin says, “What!!!”

I’m laughing. So I ask, “What kind of dog?”

Randy says, “I don’t know what kind of dog it is. They kind of look like Old Yeller.”

Lorin and I both say in perfect unison, “They raise Labradors for food?!!!”

“Yes, it’s not bad.”

To which Lorin says, “You’ve had it!!!”

I can’t even talk at this point because I’m laughing at Lorin. Plus, I’m trying to figure out how to tell my daughter that they raise and eat yellow labs. I’m sure they aren’t really yellow labs. I think I’m going to have to research that one. But it sure was a humorous conversation.

We eventually got on the military base and met some of the workers for the ministry here reaching out to the teenagers that have parents in the military. Great group of people. I look forward to ministering with them for the weekend (I speak to the kids Saturday, then preach Sunday and doing a parenting workshop)

PLEASE PRAY:
Today I speak three times to the kids here at the ministry here on the US Military base. Pray for this time. There are going to be about 200 that I’m speaking to. Most of what I’ll be doing today is outreach. So pray as I share the Gospel and invite the kids to respond.

Also pray that I don’t eat Old Yeller!

Posted in Humor, Personal, Prayer, Speaking/Training, Travel | | Leave A Comment

Interesting Feedback

Posted on: 01/12/11 10:40 AM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s been interesting to see how people have been responding to the new article we just posted on our free TRAINING TOOLS page, an excerpt from my new book, MINISTRY BY TEENAGERS.

The article, chapter one in my book, addresses a problem I’ve noticed in some churches– a tendency to provide a lot of fun and entertainment, while not developing a lot of disciples of Christ.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not one of those guys saying, “Dodgeball doesn’t work!” “Pizza parties don’t work!” I think these elements can open doors to great ministry… and that’s the key. They are just tools to open doors to ministry. They aren’t the ministry in itself. I’ll quote the article:

Will playing dodgeball, attending Christian rock concerts, and participating in icebreakers be the only youth ministry experiences our kids have to lean on when they face the real world? Or are those activities opening doors to something more foundational for their lives?

In the article/book I also talk about how our games and skits are our number one accessed pages on our web site. I was sad, hoping that our “outreach discussions” or “spiritual growth” discussions would be.

Here’s a couple peices of feedback:

This morning I received an encouraging email from Michelle, In Michigan. She offered her two cents on that subject:

Hey Jonathan, I just read your article on “Ministry to/BY Teenagers.” I just wanted to encourage you by saying that your site is a HUGE help to many of us. Perhaps the reason that the Games and Skits pages of your site get the most hits is because of internet search engines. Sometimes, a youth leader has a lesson plan all worked out, and is simply looking for a quick game or skit to accompany. They do a search on google, and up comes your site. Just a thought… Anyway, I love EVERYTHING about your site, and your books are among my favorite resources on my shelves.

You make a difference. Thank you!

Michelle

Thanks Michelle. I hope you’re right. I hope that most people are making the Gospel a priority.

And from Steve:

Jon,
I find your insightful thoughs on youth ministry and the particulars of reaching youth for Christ. The youth culture today is big into entertainment and the resources you share are wonderful. However, we must pray and lead our youth to engage God’s word. There are to many nominal Christians and we must raise up spiritual young people who can lead. We as leaders must lead by example. Thank you for sharing your Ezine message with us. It is insightful and challenges me personally as a leader to evaluate my ministry.

Blessings,

Steve

And from Scott in AZ.

Just got your email about the what ministry by students looks like. I am a Jr. High youth worker and wanted to let you be aware that your site has help me a lot with my small group and my teaching’s every Sunday. After or during my teaching I like to have the students break off into groups with a leader and talk about what we have been discussing. I have been very bless by your movie clip discussions for idea’s on questions I can ask my youth that has to go with the teaching. When I first took over the youth group a little over six months ago very few students even knew what the good news is and what it means to be a Christian. The training tools on your website have really help me on developing students to be able to not only understand what it mean to be a christian but how to live that life and be able to rely on God for there faith and not what some one told them. Keep up the good work!

Good feedback.

We need to have fun with kids. There are a time and a place for pure fun activities (that’s why we provide so many ideas for them on our website). But I hope that our ministry provides more than just “food.” In John, Chapter 6, Jesus had just fed a bunch of people and they showed up again for more “food.” Jesus basically said, “Why are you guys just seeking perishable things like food when you should be seeking the eternal life that I offer.”

Two interesting things. Jesus DID feed people and meet their physical needs. But after meeting that need, he addressed a much more important need.

Food for thought.

Posted in Leadership, Youth Ministry Philosophy, Youth Ministry Planning | | Leave A Comment

Stimulating Meetings

Posted on: 01/10/11 3:15 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m in TX right now co-keynoting with my dad at a conference for the Baptist General Convention of Texas. It’s kinda fun sharing the stage with my dad, talking about recruiting, training and managing this “New Breed” (the title of our book together) of volunteers in ministry today.

My dad just posted a new Feature Article on his free Volunteer Power website, an article about how to run a stimulating and motivating meeting with your staff, paid and unpaid. Here’s just a glimpse:

A great way to start the New Year is with energizing and stimulating staff meetings. Actually, invigorating staff meetings are great any time of the year, but I am always looking for ways to engage my paid and non-paid staff in a productive discussion to set the tone and opportunities for the new year. The rousing discussion part is not hard because most people are ready to share their opinions on most topics. What proves to be a constant challenge is the productive part. Leaders strive to have each participant walk away with some significant “take-aways that they are motivated to put to immediate use.

One way to focus your discussion is to hand out a relevant, short, informational, and motivating discussion starter. Give each staff member five to ten minutes to read the hand-out at the beginning of the meeting. A couple of years ago I had the staff over to my home for the morning. After I served them food, I handed out a short article with a few discussion questions. I was lucky in that we had a wonderful warm day (rare in Northern California for January) and they spread out all over the back yard to read and reflect. I encouraged them to mark up the article, question it, underline and circle sections or key thoughts. Then they took another ten minutes…

Good stuff. Click here for the whole article.

This reminds me of the some of the training tool ideas we offered you on this page, How to Train Your Own Volunteers. Hopefully both of these are good resources for you as you seek to equip your team in 2011.

Posted in Family, Personal, Speaking/Training | | Leave A Comment

My Favorite Resources and Training from 2010

Posted on: 01/5/11 4:26 PM | by Jonathan McKee

If you’re like me, you’re already off to “full sprint” in 2011.

Here’s some of my favorite free resources and training that our ministry provided in 2010. What were yours? I covet your feedback!

Use the comment feature and tell me which of our TheSource4YM.com tools have helped you in this past year!

Here’s a quick glimpse of mine!

JONATHAN’S FAVORITES

1. My absolute favorite free training resource we provided last year was the training video “Connecting With the Six Types of Kids.” This video provides a great summary of youth ministry and lays the foundation for relational ministry. This video is a peice of my Connect Training Workshop and my book, CONNECT: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation.

2. My second favorite resource in 2010 is our totally revamped MUSIC DISCUSSIONS page. This page now has comment and rating features, and the ability to organize them by artist, title, topic or user rating. Very cool stuff. That page also has a ton of new discussions. You’ll see Crowder’s Shine, and Everything Glorious, Rihanna’s Only Girl, Airplanes from B.o.B, Taylor Swift’s Mine, TobyMac’s Lose My Soul… and more!

3. How can I ignore the entirely new website we just launched for parents TheSource4Parents.com This is an amazing new resource for parents.

4. I love the Youth Culture Window article reviewing the music and the messages of the 17 different songs that went #1 during the year 2010.

I highlighted even more of my favorites in my EZINE this week, including my favorite Youth Culture Window articles of the year. Check that out here.

Posted in Internet, Personal | | Leave A Comment