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Today I’m being filmed for a Canadian TV show- a Christian talk show. We’re filming several segments about my upcoming book to parents, More Than Just the Talk (coming this February/March), and then some bit on how to open the doors of dialogue with today’s teenagers.
It’s interesting, as I’ve been preparing for this, taking a peek at some of the newest studies about teen sex, I keep seeing the same assertions. “We need to talk with our kids about this regularly!”
It doesn’t matter how liberal or conservative the report. For example: The Journal PEDIATRICS, who are always for more strict guidelines, less screen time, and even watching media together so parents can talk about family values… these pediatricians recommend parents have repeated discussions with their children about the many aspects of sex instead of one big talk. They even basically say, the more detailed, the better.
I even read reports from people I disagree with. For example, this brand new report supported by “Planned Parenthood” (that tells you where this report stands). Even though this report throws stones at abstinence education, its main assertion is one I can’t disagree with. “Parents should talk with their kids about sex earlier and more frequently.” Most of today’s reports aren’t just saying “have these continual talks”… they are saying have these talks earlier. I constantly encounter studies asserting we should talk with kids younger.
Tony Dungy’s ministry, All Pro Dad, even posted an article recently with 7 factors increasing the likelihood of your daughter being sexually active at a younger age: two of the seven have to do with poor communication in the home (and one has to do with being too strict).
Are we starting to see a common denominator here? (Luke up Deuteronomy 6:6-9… you’ll see it there too.)
Perhaps parental communication about sex needs to be more than just “the talk.” We need to create a comfortable climate of continual conversations about God’s design for sex and intimacy in our homes.
I look forward to dialoguing about this on this TV show. (And you’ll be hearing more from me on this subject.)
Posted in Books, Jonathan's Rant, Parenting, Sexuality, TV, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment
Talking repetitively with our kids is good, however the idea of talking to younger and younger kids has me a little worried. “I know you’re a 9 year old girl, but its time for me to explain to you the details of sexual activity, and then tell you to abstain from it for at least another 9 years until you get married at 18.” Seems a little challenging. I have a 5 year old girl and a 2 year old. Last I heard 4th grade is when schools are wanting to introduce sex ed. That scares me, isn’t there also a introducing this idea too soon. Something about ‘don’t awaken love until its time.’
Great question Aaron, and something I talk about in the books. First, I’ve never met a parent who said “too much” when answering questions about God’s plan for sex and intimacy. Seriously. Never. I’m met plenty of parents who allowed way too much sexually charged entertainment media into the home, letting their kids hear “those voices” … but when it came to God’s truth… they were silent. Second, I only recommend talking with our young kids as natural springboards arise. For example, when they ask a question… answer it. If they study about it at school, ask them what they learned. My goal is to “create a comfortable climate of continual conversations” so when our kids have questions, they come to mom and dad, not Google, for answers.