Sexuality Archives - Page 21 of 28 - Jonathan's Blog From The Source

A Peek Into the Teenage Mind… Twilight Comments

Posted on: 04/3/09 11:59 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last week I blogged about Twilight as the movie was released on DVD. In the last week, almost 30,000 people have clicked through this blog, mostly moms and young girls (My blog and website are being picked up by Google searches big time right now, and millions of young girls are doing “Twilight” searches… hence the heavy traffic).

The comments that have been posted on this blog are such an insight into the mind of a young teenage girl. My blog, addressed to parents and youth workers, asks the question, “Should I let my kids see Twilight?” I then link our article on the subject where I encourage parents and youth workers to talk about the movie with those who have watched it… but I also share my concerns, primarily the sensuality (i.e. the fact that a young girl is in her underwear and a t-shirt kissing a guy on her bed. Our article goes into detail).

Here’s where this gets amusing.

Realize… this film is very clean by today’s standards. There’s no sex or nudity at all– they only kiss. There is some violence, but as I said… VERY TAME by today’s standards. So most people in this world consider this film “clean.” And that’s probably why so many people are wondering why I could even ask the question, “Should I let my kids see Twilight?”

Kids just don’t see this as “a big deal.”

I love the comments I’ve been receiving. Here’s a few:

i read the books and saw the movie several times. originally i thought i wasn’t going to read it but i did and i LOVED it! i am 14 and i dont see anything wrong with it. the movie has only two kisses in it and the books arent graphic in kissing or anything. id say its for 8 and up. theres only one of the books i might stop my kid from reading, breaking dawn(the 4th book) because she becomes pregnant(so obviously she had sex). other than that i would say see the movie and get the book.
Left by Kate on Mar 31, 2009 5:46 PM

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWILIGHT IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER AND BARELY INAPPROPRIATE, SURE, A KISS, WHOOPTI DOO. A FRICKEN KISS. I DONT CARE!!!!!
Left by annonymous on Mar 31, 2009 6:42 PM

I LOVE TWILIGT SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!
I have read all the books and am now on the last book for the third time!
I think kids should be alould to watch it cause it only has like two kisses in it!
Left by ! on Apr 01, 2009 10:13 AM

twilight is freakin AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im 12 and ive read the entire series 3 times already. i read the last book(breaking dawn) after fighting with my mom and sis for a while, and i didnt find anything wrong with it. the movie, well theres nothing wrong with it. sure, theres 2 kisses ( i have seen the movie like 10 times already) but really, isnt there more than that in like every movie? i say you let ur kids watch and read it.
Left by anonymous on Apr 01, 2009 7:33 PM

I don’t think there is anything wrong with kids watching the movie Twilight, or reading the book for that matter. There is no profanity, no sex, no drugs, no alcohol. There really is only one violent scene in the movie, and it’s really not even that bad. It’s a love story, but not a mushy-gushy make-out-all-the-time movie. In fact, they only kiss twice in the whole movie. The book is a little more mushy but back to the point – youth are going crazy over this book and I think it’s a great fictional story! Go Twilight!
Left by jessica on Apr 01, 2009 10:17 PM

YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT, IT IS A MUST SEE MOVIE
seriously, its awesome there is only one little kiss, big deal
WATCH IT!
Left by cindy on Apr 02, 2009 2:54 PM

OMG I just turned 12 today and I read all of the Twilight books and saw the movie when I was 11. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Edward and Bella are madly in love. Who cares if they kiss 2 times??? Yeah, Breaking Dawn (Book 4)has sex in it, but like jessica said, they are already married and their is no description. I luv Twilight. THey are one of the best books I ever read in my life!!!!! I wish I could find someone like Edward!!!
Left by Zhanee’ on Apr 02, 2009 3:36 PM

You can read all the comments here.

I think the comments speak for themselves. “A kiss. What’s the big deal.”

And that’s exactly what I was talking about in my original article about the film. The subtle messages of Twilight are just that: “This is no big deal.” “Wouldn’t it be cool if a guy cared about you this much, loved you this much, and would come and kiss you in your bedroom like this, controlling his desires because of his great love!”

I think I have to agree with the mom whose response I posted in this blog. Sorry kids… he doesn’t exist.

One of the most common questions kids ask me when I speak on sex is, “How come it’s so difficult to stop when I’m making out?”

My answer is always, “Because God designed it to where you aren’t supposed to stop. He gave us sex to enjoy… and it’s a process that starts with kissing and grows and progresses like a wildfire from there.” (my seminar on the topic)

It’s actually been “affirming” reading the comments to this blog all week. I think the comments seem to confirm our original suspicions and concerns even more.

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You Can Have Whatever You Like… in Prison!

Posted on: 03/30/09 10:42 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I can hear the rap song playing right now: “You can have whatever you like.”

Sorry T.I., I guess that doesn’t include guns. On Friday the young grammy winning rapper was just sentenced on gun charges.

Yes, on October 13, 2007, rapper T.I. was arrested by federal agents for having his bodyguard buy machine guns and silencers for him. Unfortunately for him, his 1998 crack cocaine conviction made it illegal for him to own guns.

Aw. Poor little T.I.

Rapper T.I. caught the attention of our young people last year with hits like “Whatever You Like” and “Live Your Life.” These songs, deemed clean by the world’s standards, got plenty of radio play, riding the top of the charts for weeks. The “clean versions” edited out lyrics like, “… late night sex, so wet, it’s so tight,” only leaving the clear message of materialism ringing in our kids ears. The music video shows him draping furs and diamonds on a girl, singing, “You can have whatever you like.”

Maybe T.I. wasn’t just selling woof tickets with those lyrics. Because he got a 20 year sentence reduced to just one year.

Maybe the judge liked his song???

Yahoo news reports:

ATLANTA (Reuters) – Grammy-winning rapper T.I. was sentenced to a year and a day in prison on Friday for illegally possessing machine guns and silencers, as prosecutors lauded his anti-violence advocacy since his arrest.

T.I., whose real name is Clifford Harris, originally faced up to 20 years in prison and the effective end of his career but performing community service as part of his plea agreement with prosecutors reduced his sentence.

T.I., 28, who was sentenced at a federal court in Atlanta, toured the United States in recent months speaking to tens of thousands of young people about the dangers of drugs and gangs, as he completed more than 1,000 hours of community service.

His anti-crime advocacy has been chronicled on cable channel MTV’s reality show “T.I.’s Road to Redemption.” He posted $3 million bail after his arrest.

The Atlanta-born rapper, whose hit songs include “Whatever You Like” and “Live Your Life,” could have his one year and one day sentence further reduced by 15 percent with good behavior.

Isn’t it nice to know that T. I. is doing school assemblies?

Hmmmmmmm.

(ht to YCW guru David for the article)

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What to Do with “Twilight” …Now on DVD

Posted on: 03/20/09 1:36 PM | by Jonathan McKee

“Should I let my kids see Twilight?”

I’ve heard that question from parents more than any other question in the last 12 months.

If you don’t know about Twilight, it’s more than just a movie… it’s been a youth culture phenomenon. And now it hits DVD on a special release this weekend (this film prompted a special Saturday release). My neighborhood Blockbuster Video store is staying open past midnight tonight (Friday) just to rent it out. They are expecting a huge response.

Yes, your kids will probably want to see it and will have countless opportunities to see it (including at school- for those high school kids who are in public schools. PG-13 is okay by most standards).

So what should parents and youth workers do?

We’ve written so much about it in the last few months, I’ll just provide you with the links:

Our original Youth Culture Window article with all the facts CLICK HERE

My original blog about it, and a million comments from my readers CLICK HERE

My follow up blog once the film was released CLICK HERE

Todd’s movie review of the film CLICK HERE

My final blog about the film with two classic reactions CLICK HERE

In summary: If your kids do see the film, use it as an opportunity for healthy dialogue.

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Girl Commits Suicide After Nude Pic is Circulated

Posted on: 03/12/09 10:28 AM | by Jonathan McKee

This is really sad.

18-year-old Jesse Logan did something all too common- she sent a naked picture of herself to her boyfriend. When they broke up, the boyfriend shared the pictures with others, and the harassment began. One thing led to another… until finally Jesse’s mom came home one day to find her hanging in her bedroom closet. The pressure was too much. Jesse took her own life (click here for the CNN video with an interview with her mother).

You’ve heard us talking about a trend known as “sexting” (many of you read our Youth Culture Window article on the subject), a stepping stone to teenagers using cell phones for posting/viewing naked pictures of themselves or others (yes, we wrote a Youth Culture Window article on that subject as well). That latter article revealed these facts:

20% of teenagers say they’ve sent (or posted) naked or semi-naked photos or videos of themselves, mostly to be “fun or flirtatious,” (33% of 20-26 year olds have done the same)
33% of teenage boys say they’ve seen nude or semi-nude images sent to someone else (about 25% of teenage girls have done the same)
39% of teenagers say they’ve sent suggestive text messages (59% of those ages 20-26 admit to it as well)
48% of teens have received sexually suggestive text messages (64% of young adults also have)

The story of Jesse is sobering because it reminds us that these numbers are kids. Each of these numbers represents a story… the story of a kid struggling to find themselves in a world that often applauds risque’ behavior.

Remember to pray for Jesse’s family.

As parents and youth workers, we should read articles about this story with our kids, perhaps even showing them that CNN video linked above. Then talk with them about choices and their consequences. This isn’t a time to lecture… but a time to let the article tell its story. It’s powerful by itself. David also provides us with further conversation helps in the bottom of his Youth Culture Window article on Mobile Porn.

(ht to Tom B. for the CNN story)

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The Comeback of Modest Clothes

Posted on: 03/9/09 3:24 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Despite all the negatives of a dismal economy… I see one positive on the horizon: more modest clothes.

USA Today had a fascinating article yesterday about the return of modest apparel options. Apparently when the economy was booming, stores could afford to operate with a “what you see is what you get” mentality. Now these stores can’t afford to, as the article says, “ignore the muted voices asking for, say, a decent supply of sleeved shirts or prom dresses that show more fabric than skin.”

The article goes on to say:

Now, however, it’s the rare retailer who’s willing to take the chance of turning off any possible customer. Luxury-store clerks can no longer afford to look down at scruffy shoppers, and store owners of every sort are recognizing the one-size-fits-all approach to retail buying no longer works.

Whether it’s more of a fiscal or moral shift, understated girls’ clothing may indeed be making a comeback.

Even flashy Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld declared “bling is over” and noted the economy is prompting a “new modesty,” in an interview with the International Herald Tribune this year.

Retail consultant Ken Nisch says the trend is more moderation than modesty, but the effect may be the same.

“It’s not because of a moral revival but about sensibility,” says Nisch, chairman of retail brand and design firm JGA. “What’s provocative has often been ultra trendy, and it just doesn’t make sense to buy things you can’t wear for a lot of occasions anymore.”

Hmmmmmm.

(ht to Jamie L.)

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Hip Hop Livin’ Large

Posted on: 02/17/09 10:39 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Eminem, Kanye West, T-Pain, Beyonce, Flo Rida, T.I., Lil Wayne… these artist all know what #1 tastes like, and they all continue to dominate the top of the charts.

In my youth culture section of my seminars some youth workers seem surprised when I report the fact that Hip Hop and R&B are the most popular music choice of today’s generation over all. In my Getting Students to Show Up book, I revealed the results of a 2005 Kaiser study (among 7th to 12th graders who listen to recorded music in a typical day) where Hip Hop/Rap was not only the #1 music category (65 %), but it attracted more than twice the number of the second place category, Alternative rock (32 percent)(Kaiser report, page 29).

I was looking at the music charts today and we still see that trend, despite the speckles of rock and alternative that have maintained a strong second (with country hanging in there, thanks especially to youngins like Taylor Swift who often have a song in the top 10).

Today the #1 downloaded iTunes song is from Flo Rida, the rapper who had the number one dowloaded song of last year, also Billboard’s Hot 100 #1 song of last year. His new #1 song is Right Round (with a chorus that many of us who grew up in the 80’s will recognize).

Seven of the ten top 10 songs on iTunes right now would be in the Hip Hop/rap/R&B category.

Billboard’s Top 100 tells a similar story, with Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent riding #1 with their explicit song Crack a Bottle (#2 on iTunes right now). Sadly, when kids go to download this one on iTunes they’ll be downloading not only curse words, but the typical foul raunch that Eminem usually offers (along with some of the greatest beats ever made- thank you Dr. Dre. If we could only get this guy to lay down some beats for some clean music).

Billboard’s Hot 100 only has five of their top 10 songs in the in the Hip Hop/rap/R&B category (granted, it’s the #1, 2, 3, 5 and 9 slot), with the other five divided from different genres, from pop (Kelly Clarkson’s My Life Would Suck Without You), Alternative (The All-American Rejects’ song Gives You Hell), Country’s Taylor Swift, as well as the very melodic sound of Jason Mraz and The Fray.

A click at Billboard’s entire Hot 100 list reveals a majority of the top 11-50 in the in the Hip Hop/rap/R&B category.

The grammys gave us a glimpse of this, with Lil Wayne not only nominated for the most awards, but taking home four awards for his “art.” (sigh)

A lot of us might be concerned about the explicit and highly sexualized content in most of Hip Hop/rap/R&B music (we’ve talked about this in past Youth Culture Window articles). I agree. But that doesn’t mean denying the facts. I’ve literally had youth workers angry at me for reporting these facts. “My kids listen to rock! I don’t care what those stats say!”

Sigh.

Yes, classic rock is definitely coming back thanks to the number one video game at the moment, Guitar Hero. But rock, alternative and country are still just riding the coat tails of the hip hop industry. Like it or not… the genre is still dominating.

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The New Place Where Kids Will Find Porn

Posted on: 02/12/09 10:16 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Just when you thought there couldn’t be any more porn…

The problem of porn is only growing. Parents already have to put safeguards on their TVs and computers… but that doesn’t cover what could be the largest provider of porn in the next couple of years. Take it from author, speaker, radio show host, Jim Burns:

“By the year 2011… the cell phone will be the greatest provider of internet pornography.” -Jim Burns, HomeWord.com

Those of you who are EZINE subscribers or on our web site regularly probably already saw our new Four Minutes Video this week. Jim Burns addresses the problem of cellular porn.

(if you receive this blog via email and can’t see the video above, CLICK HERE to see Jim address this issue.)

In addition, CLICK HERE to Download Jim’s FREE Curriculum THE PURITY CODE.

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No Wonder Our Kids Listen to It

Posted on: 02/9/09 12:34 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Why are adults surprised that kids listen to raunchy music?

Kids are only following their example.

Last night the Grammys gave us a true glimpse of what adults value in this world. The Grammys has a long history of being THE music awards show. Unlike the Teen Choice Awards, or many of the MTV awards shows, The Grammys are chosen by adults. Then why was Lil Wayne nominated for more than anyone else, 8 Grammys?

Do these adults even know what this guy is singing about? (you can take a little peek at his content in this article) Maybe Lil Wayne should take this opportunity to ask their daughter on a date?

Maybe the same could be said about Kid Rock, Robert Plant and others at the show last night. But I think most adults are probably a little more comfortable with the messages coming from the albums of U2 and Coldplay than the young Mr. Wayne. Or maybe, in today’s world lyrical content just doesn’t matter. Because last night we awarded Wayne with trophies for the explicit album Tha Carter III, and three other songs, including the song Lollipop, an explicit song about oral sex.

“You’re a foul mouthed pervert. Here’s your trophy.” (pause) “But kids, you watch your mouths!”

David wrote about the blurring of the line between music for adults and teens last week in our Youth Culture Window article, The 2009 Grammys: Do Adults Like the Same Music as Teens?

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Subtle PG-13 Lies

Posted on: 02/7/09 2:21 PM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s always interesting to see what films draw teenagers. A year ago, Juno was the hottest thing. Last fall it was Twilight. So what film has their attention now?

Last Tuesday a film was released that I predict will be one of the next cult classics of this generation. The film is Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Like Juno and Twilight, the film has a PG-13 rating. But this is one PG-13 film that has me wondering what the MPAA is smoking.

Let me be clear. I’m not a big fan of the MPAA rating system anyway. I’ve never been one to let a secular rating system tell me which movies are “good” and “bad” for my kids. I’ve seen plenty of R-rated films that I have no problem with (The Passion, Saving Private Ryan, The Last Samurai…). And I’ve seen plenty of PG films that are full of subtle lies. That’s a sore spot for me. I don’t like it when the media lies to us, especially to our kids. It’s completely irresponsible to consistently show actions without consequences. That’s just not the way life works.

Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist is a clever movie with strong characters and creative dialogue… kids are loving it. But not only is it full of graphic sexual talk, hookups and crude humor, it’s also a distortion of reality. There are drastic consequences emotionally and physically to most of the casual behaviors portrayed in Nick & Norah. Are these destructive behaviors true to life? Yes. But they are most often linked to consequences, consequences that the people behind the story of Nick and Norah chose to ignore.

Yes, Cinderella might also be a distortion of reality. Mice and birds don’t make dresses. And maybe there is no Prince Charming for most girls. But I’ve never met a teenage girl who bought into the lie that a mouse named Gus-Gus would be her best friend and a guy on a horse would take her away into the sunset. On the contrary, I’ve worked with plenty of teenager girls that found out the hard way that the casual actions in Nick & Norah have devastating consequences.

Can’t we be real with our kids? Nick & Norah is a nice fairy tale, based on realistic characters and authentic feelings. But we’re fools if we don’t understand how influential this kind of media is on our kids. The imitatable behaviors in this film aren’t just entertainment, they are telling our kids how to live in the real world.

Don’t let your kids construct their ethics from films like this.

This week I devoted our entire Youth Culture Window article to the content behind Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist. In that article I give you a glimpse of what our kids will be seeing in that film. I encourage you to take a peek at the article. Todd also posted a movie review on the film.

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Super Bowl Commercials

Posted on: 02/3/09 9:02 AM | by Jonathan McKee

The Super Bowl is the one time a year that I actually watch commercials. When people are paying multi-millions for an ad… they’re usually pretty good.

Well… define good.

This year a few of them definitely drew a laugh from me: the poor executive who suggested that they stop buying Bud Light for their meetings (only to get thrown out of a window), the horse telling the story of his great grandfather first coming to the country (with his good and bad jobs), the Monster.com ad with the moose head on the wall, and yes, I even laughed at the slapstick humor of the Doritos ad with the Crystal ball- an ad that created some of the most Super Bowl commercial buzz (ironically, this ad was the first non-agency spot ever to do this- read more here).

But this year also revealed a trend toward the irresponsible and raunchy. Despites the claim of some that this year was mild and overly conservative, several ads made me look at my wife and say, “Oh no they didn’t!”

One of the most irresponsible ads was also from Doritos, showing a man crunching Doritos, and the crunch gave the man apparent superpowers, like a woman’s clothes being ripped off (revealing her in just lingerie). An ATM starts spitting out 20’s. Then he turns a police officer into a monkey.

It wasn’t the most raunchy ad, but it was definitely the ad that irked me the most. I can’t stand when the media lies to young people. Great message we’re communicating to our kids: sex and money is “where it’s at!” And cops are bad.

Nice.

Even though that particular Doritos “Crunch” ad ranked high, surprisingly, audiences seemed to agree overall that the raunchy ads weren’t the best ones. GoDaddy’s sexually charged ads (or as this article calls it, “breast focused raunchy Super Bowl ads”) received some of the lowest scores from postgame ad polls. USA Today’s Ad-meter (where you can see the top Super Bowl ads ranked and actually view them) ranks these GoDaddy ads way down in 41st and 45th place. But here’s the ironic part. Even though they weren’t rated as “the best” … they were among the most watched. According to this article, even though people didn’t give them high scores in the polls, they liked the ads enought for a second viewing.

Sex sells. It always has.

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