Sexuality Archives - Page 15 of 28 - Jonathan's Blog From The Source

Will I Let My Kids Go Next Time?

Posted on: 10/11/10 1:08 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Will I let my kids go to the next high school dance?

That’s truly a tough one.

It’s the question I keep hearing now that I’ve had this inside peek into a public high school dance— my own kids’ high school dance!!

High school dances are an American “rite of passage” to many. I’ve seen good and bad. Sadly, the lack of clean music has made the situation much more difficult.

For those who are curious of my two cents… I pour my heart out and answer the above question in this brand new Youth Culture Window article: IN THE DARK– A Sobering Peek into a Public High School Dance.

Here’s just a snippet:

Her date wrapped his arms around her front and she backed up, pushing herself against him, moving in a motion that would have made her blush in any other context, but the darkness and the safety of this crowd covered any embarrassment. Tonight this dark room was no place for second thoughts.

This is what he wants, she thought to herself. He’ll like me if I do this. He’ll notice me when I wear this. After all, if I don’t do this for him, there are a hundred other girls who are willing to.

Blame it on the music or the company she keeps or a dad who didn’t give his little daughter enough hugs. Regardless of the cause, another young girl has given up her innocence in exchange for a lie. It’s the norm to give your date a lap dance.

Sexualized
I’ve read dozens of articles and studies about the “sexualization” of today’s young girls. I’ve written about it and cited it in the media. But Saturday night I was surrounded by it. Literally hundreds of girls played the part our culture has written for them: Be a sex object.

I’ve always thought I had a pretty good finger on the pulse of youth culture. I know what goes on at school dances. After all the articles I’ve read on the subject, as well as the ones we’ve written on our own site, not to mention the plethora of MTV Video Music Award shows I’ve reviewed… I really didn’t think I could be shocked. But last night I was flabbergasted. It was sobering to see the effect of sexualization first hand— young girls with dresses so short that their underwear often peaked out from underneath, and literally hundreds of girls “backing up” into guys and rubbing up against them throughout the evening…

CLICK HERE FOR THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

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Inside a Public School Dance

Posted on: 10/9/10 4:53 PM | by Jonathan McKee

This weekend brings an interesting opportunity for me, the opportunity to chaperone a public high school homecoming dance at my two oldest kids’ school. I love opportunities like this when research transcends beyond the desk out to the front lines. It’s one thing to read the studies about what kids are listening to… it’s another thing to see it first hand. I try to constantly subject myself to both.

I wanted to share some of these early thoughts with you. I will write you a full report in this week’s Youth Culture Window article (now you can CLICK HERE FOR THAT ARTICLE). (NOTE: This blog also shares more thoughts below from when I got back from the dance- scroll down to see those.)

Many of you already heard me chime in a little bit on this subject last weekend when I revealed to you the written warnings on the front of the “ticket” for the dance my 15-year-old daughter went to— last weekend she went to the homecoming dance at another school with some friends from church. Interesting experience! I was talking to her and one of her friends afterwards about what they experienced; both of them were surprised how many kids were “getting low” and “grinding” (it’s funny… I’m trying to choose my terms wisely. How exactly do you say, “Sex with your clothes on?”). I asked them each exactly what percentage of teenagers they saw dancing like that. Seperately they each responded, “Over 50%.” My daughter’s friend said that one of her classmates even came up behind her and started “grinding” her from the backside. She turned around and backed away, not sure what protocol was for rejecting someone trying to hump you.

It’s an interesting world we live in. I can’t really blame many of these young men. No, I’m not trying to defend them in any way. But our society has taught them that this is okay. It’s the norm in every music video. A few months ago I was watching the Regis and Kelly show, when Kelly threw up her arms and began dancing like that with rapper Ludachris.

Dare I quote Billy Ray Cyrus? “It’s what today’s young people do.”

Full report coming. Some of these thoughts will be in there. I just wanted to share them with you first.

AFTER DANCE THOUGHTS:
We just got home from the dance. My wife just said, “I’ve never seen so many trampy girls in all my life!” LOL

She’s really not exaggerating. The most surprising elements were the short dresses across the board, and how much “front to back” dancing there was. Kids barely face each other anymore, girls just rub their butts into the guys crotches all night. Teachers didn’t even bother stopping it because they’d have to send everyone home.

I “tweeted” throughout the entire dance- crazy stuff. I wish I had a video camera, it was literally amazing. I would love to see all the mom and dad’s reactions to what they’d see. I’m SOOOOooooooo glad my kids weren’t there.

Here’s some of my tweets during the dance.

At the dance- the female teacher i was just talking with has already had to tell 2 girls to pull their dress down to cover their underwear.

At the dance- this is amusing. The teachers are tring to stop the kids from getting low and backing up, but thats what the lyrics are saying

At the dance- it’s bad that i can see a girl’s underwear right now, right? Her dress is so short it keeps hiking up. Sigh.

At the dance- the senior that just won homecoming king just fell off the stage, toasted. One of his buddies already sent home for drinking.

CLICK HERE to read all my tweets that night.

And HERE for the article.

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MTV at it again

Posted on: 09/27/10 5:18 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Sex, drama, blurred nudity, hookups, more blurred nudity, flights, obscenities, even more blurred nudity…

No, I’m not talking about a new show on HB-HO or Skin-a-max (they don’t blur), I’m talking about a new series that starts next week on MTV… a show that’s been effectively marketed to our kids.

If you happened to watch this year’s MTV Video Music Awards a few weeks ago to get an accurate glimpse into the porthole of pop culture (my two cents on that award show here), then you might have been just as surprised with some of the commercials as the show itself. That Sunday, the world saw the preview for the new MTV series, The Challenge Cutthroat, airing next week on October 6th.

So what will our kids see if they watch this MTV reality series?

Let me stop right there.

First. I’m not a parent who locks my kids in the dungeon only to release them at age 18. I believe in teaching my kids to make good media decisions (I talked about this in detail in my recent article, “To Glee or Not to Glee,” and in my article, “Dad, Can I Download This Song?“). But there are some media decisions I make to protect my kids. One of those is blocking MTV. Yes… I just block it. I find nothing of any value on that channel at all. I’m just doing them a favor.

That being said, I’m always amazed at how many parents allow their kids to watch the shows that MTV continues to offer. I’m not even going to argue the point. I’m simply going to link the “preview” for this new show, The Challenge Cutthroat, and let you decide for yourselves.

WARNING: Even though there is no nudity or language in this clip (yeah, it’s all blurred and bleeped), this is going to really offend some of you. And if it does… good! You should be offended. It’s smutty, suggestive and sexually charged (guys, you might not even want to watch this little preview alone)… and it’s marketed to our kids. I encourage parents to watch it as a couple. (And before you email me or comment on this blog, “Why did you even link that. We don’t need to see that?” Let me just say this. Most of the parents who object to me showing that clip are the same ones who don’t realize that their own kids are watching stuff like that. Argue with me if you want, but I’ve seen it hundreds of times.)

MTV knows that the VMA awards show is THE biggest watched cable show of the year by young people age 12-34, so they always show previews for series like these to build anticipation and create buzz among kids. Years ago Tila Tequila was launched this way and had a HUGE following (6 million total viewers each week- the most watched telecast amoung viewers since The Osbournes). Tila went two seasons, then MTV upped the ante with their show A Double Shot at Love, with two bisexual hotties. Twice as sexy.

Now they’ll do it again with The Challenge Cutthroat.

MTV is about one thing: ratings. And their target market: 12-34 year olds.

Just thought you might wanna know.

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Doctors Advise No TV in Teenagers Bedrooms

Posted on: 09/8/10 6:53 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Two questions that doctors are being encouraged to ask teenage patients:

1. How much time do you spend daily with entertainment media?

2. Is there a TV set or Internet access in your bedroom?

Hmmmm. Perhaps these are important influences to consider.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) just released (August 30, 2010) their brand new study titled, “Sexuality, Contraception, and the Media.” This report examines media messages teenagers are absorbing and how those influences affect their well being. In other words… when kids watch the music video for the #1 song Teenage Dream and watch Katy Perry getting her clothes torn off by a guy… does that really affect our kids? That’s what the AAP sought to discover.

The results of this study? Pretty scary. (I’ll definitely be including some of this in my upcoming parent workshops.)

Here are some of the elements that jumped out at me:

More than 75% of prime-time programs contain sexual content.
Only 14% of these incidents mention any risks or responsibilities of sexual activity.
Talk about sex on TV can occur as often as 8 to 10 times per hour.
Between 1997 and 2001 alone, the amount of sexual content on TV nearly doubled.
American media makes sex seem like a harmless sport in which everyone engages, and results of considerable research have indicated that the media can have a major effect on young people’s attitudes and behaviors.
The media may function as a “superpeer” in convincing adolescents that sexual activity is a normative behavior for young teenagers.
Listening to sexually degrading lyrics is associated with earlier sexual intercourse.
Out of nine longitudinal studies seeking to answer whether sexy media contributes to early sexual activity, seven of these studies have shown that exposure to sexual content in TV and other media in early adolescence can as much as double the risk of early sexual intercourse.
Early exposure to sexual content doubled the risk of teen pregnancy.
Bedroom TVs are associated with greater substance use and sexual activity by teenagers.

They summarized their findings well: “Clearly, the media play a major role in determining whether certain teenagers become sexually active earlier rather than later.”

The good news from the report:

Teenagers whose parents control their TV-viewing habits are less sexually experienced
Adolescents whose parents limit their TV-viewing are less likely to engage in early sex.

The messages from this report are loud and clear. Media affects our kids. So parents, help your kids make good media decisions. Pretty simple.

The report actually words it like this: Pediatricians should counsel parents to recognize the importance of the media, exert control over their children’s media choices, keep their children’s bedrooms free of TVs and Internet connections, and avoid letting their children see PG-13– and R-rated movies that are inappropriate for them.

Interesting that someone is finally chiming in about PG-13 movies. I’ve shared my two cents on that and provided a few examples here and here.

This isn’t the AAP’s first report on the subject. Last year the AAP released similar reports on the effects of sex and violence in the media. We wrote a Youth Culture Window article detailing the results of those reports, urging parents to monitor their kids’ media and help them make good media choices. This month’s AAP report conveys much of the same, but with even more current data revealing exactly how dire the situation is becoming.

Click here for the whole report. (Warning… some of you aren’t going to like the conclusions the report makes about abstinence only sex education. I encourage you to not throw out the baby with the bathwater.)

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The Sexualization of Young Girls

Posted on: 07/28/10 10:37 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I’ve blogged about the subject countless times- the impact that sexualized media has on our kids, particularly our girls. And often I receive comments back, “Can’t we do something about this?”

Yes. Plenty. And most of it starts with what you can do in your own home. But some might also be interested in some national legislation that’s on the table.

The issue is this: today’s youth are bombarded with sexualized media content, and its consequences are unquestionable (Head up… I think today’s blog is going to break a record for the most hyperlinks. I’m going to bombard you with research and articles today). You see it every day in the top 10 songs at any given time, or from artist that know that sex sells, artist like Britney, Christina, and even Miley. Some researchers have actually labeled this phenomena, calling it “sexualization.” The American Psychological Association released a report titled, ‘The Sexualization of Girls,’ defining sexualization as “When a person’s value comes only from her/his sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, and when a person is sexually objectified, e.g., made into a thing for another’s sexual use.” According to their research, the consequences of sexualization are detailed as “negative effects in a variety of domains, including cognitive functioning, physical and mental health, sexuality, and attitudes and beliefs.”

As parents and youth workers, we’ve seen these effects first hand. You have heard me talk about it, and hopefully even read the research firsthand. Even those not in contact with kids read the headlines and can’t avoid the fact that “1 in 4 teenager girls have an STD.”

Think about that for a second- especially those that think, “Oh, this is nothing new.” If you graduated in 1967- 1 in 32 teenagers had an STD. In 1983- 1 in 18 teenagers had an STD.

Today, it’s 1 in 4.

Bottom line: Kids are saturating themselves in sexualized media, they don’t understand the consequences, and they’re paying for it big time. All this while parents watch from the sidelines.

You’ve heard me rant about this numerous times and I always like to provide a “take-away,” something parents and youth workers can do about it (talking with your kids, watching media with your kids, establishing boundaries, etc.) This time I’m going to defer to Dr. Stephanie Smith from the APA website in her article, Raising Healthy Kids in a Sexualized Media World. Stephanie draws our attention to the impact of sexualization and links the national legislation on the table. I love her wrap up (here “take-away”) to parents– “tips for helping children manage what they see and hear and make healthy choices” (I want you to hear it from someone else for a change). Here they are in brief.

Stay Engaged
Check in on the shows your kids are watching; listen to the music they listen to; read the magazines they read.

Talk a Lot but Listen More
Instead of dominating the conversation talking about why you think something is right or wrong, let your kids take the lead. I am continually amazed at the insight and maturity many kids have about these topics – we just need to give them the opportunity to tell us!

Be the Teacher
You are still your child’s first and most important teacher and role model. Even if they don’t seem to be watching or listening to you – DON’T BE FOOLED – they are!

I encourage you to read her thoughts in entirety here.

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The New Online Red-Light District

Posted on: 07/3/10 1:25 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Porn sites are about to be given their own domain.

It’s official. People can now by domains that end in .xxx New York Times reported last week:

The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers on Friday agreed to move forward on a long-standing proposal from a Florida company to create a specialized dot-xxx suffix for adult entertainment Web sites.

People don’t really know how to respond to this. It will be an entire domain devoted to porn.

On one hand, it’s really sad that our world is that obsessed with lust (although historically, this is nothing new… it’s amazing what was going on 2,000 years ago when the Bible was being penned). On the other hand, this could turn into a good thing if all porn was forced to move to that domain. But as the above NY Times article argues, “some of the biggest names in online pornography prefer not to be in that neighborhood.”

CNET News expands on this:

The problem, in other words, is that as soon as .xxx launches, conservatives in Congress will begin to clamor for laws to make the domain mandatory for sex-related Web sites. That may not be a big deal for hard-core pornmeisters who prefer that virtual street address, but what about sex education sites that include explicit graphics and don’t wish to be blocked by filtering software? And where should Salon.com–which features images of topless women–or Playboy.com–which publishes important interviews with U.S. presidents–end up?

Ha, yeah… that’s why people read Playboy. Those really good interviews!! 🙂

I haven’t had time to think about the ramifications yet, but all porn on one domain doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me. It would sure be easy to block!!!

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Reviewing the New Twilight Film

Posted on: 07/1/10 2:46 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I went to a movie with my wife on Tuesday night– date night. As we arrived to the movie theatre just before 8PM, we saw a long stream of females lined up along the walls of the theatres… Twilight fans, all waiting for the midnight showing of Twilight’s newest film, Eclipse.

On the way to our theatre (we were going to see The A-Team), we walked passed literally hundreds of these fans sitting in roped off areas, in eager anticipation of the film over four hours away. Not a male in sight! Mostly teenagers, some tweens, and about one in 5 seemed to be moms. Interesting group. I’ve never seen more Twilight t-shirts, tattoos, posters, and yes, even shrines! (Several groups had commandeered a bench and set up a shrine-of-sorts to Patrick and Taylor. Wow. Even Star Wars fans were saying, “These people are freaking weird!”)

A few days ago in my blog discussing the content we can expect in the next few Twilight films, I promised you a review of this new film from our movie reviewer Todd Pearage. Todd (my hero) braved the crowds of Twilight women on opening day to bring you our official review of the film.

Here’s just a snippet of that review:

The biggest problem I have with the movie continues to be the characters and the choices they make. Edward is so “in love” (aka obsessed) with Bella that he seems unable to make any rational decision outside of their relationship. Likewise, Jacob, who is still in love with Bella, refuses to accept the reality that she will never feel that same way towards him even though she has told him many times. Then there is Bella. She is willing to sacrifice everything, including her family, her dreams and even her soul, to be with Edward (i.e. become a vampire). It’s the same old thing that we saw in the second film, New Moon (Jonathan and I talked in great detail about these elements in our 2009 annual movie review podcast).

He goes on to say:

Jonathan and I have been discussing this since the first Twilight film. Realistically nothing has changed. I think Jonathan and David’s Youth Culture Window article, “I’m in Love with a Vampire” summed up our feelings about the movie then, and ring true for the entire series still. The characters are far from role models. As parents and youth leaders we need to be equipped and ready to discuss these issues with our students.

Todd said it well. Let’s keep dialoguing with our kids about these issues we see popping up in youth culture.

In addition, here’s a great free resource that one of my blog readers Amy linked a few days ago– a great discussion guide you can use with the film.

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What Twilight Fans Can Expect

Posted on: 06/25/10 10:27 AM | by Jonathan McKee

The Twilight saga is such big news right now that we actually are hearing buzz about the next two films… and I think you’ll want to hear what they just announced about the sex in Breaking Dawn, the next film in the making. But first… the film that comes out Wednesday, June 30th: Eclipse.

Some fans got an early glimpse of the film last Thursday. The word “some” may be misleading, because when you’re talking about the Twilight Saga, “some” means thousands. I would have hated to have been around Nokia Plaza in downtown L.A. last Thursday where 9,000 wristbands were handed out to screaming Twilight fans gathering for the Eclipse premier. What a madhouse. This young generation just can’t get enough Twilight.

Personally, after New Moon, I can’t believe there are any Twilight fans left. But seeing the mindset of most Twilight fans… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

On June 30th, Eclipse hits theatres around the nation. So what can we expect to see with this new film? That’s a good question. Forget speculation– our movie reviewer Todd Pearage will be watching the film and delivering his two cents on our MOVIE REVIEW PAGE opening day Wednesday (it’s now posted here) (you may remember when David, Todd and I saw New Moon on the opening weekend last year and reviewed the film for you).

But it’s not Eclipse, but the following film Breaking Dawn that the news is talking about right now. Because yesterday at the premier, Twilight screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg told People Magazine, “You will see sex- Yes!” She went on. “The relationship (between Edward and Bella) does go all the way in the book, so in the movie it will as well. You are going to see more skin in Breaking Dawn than you did in the other films.”

I guess the sensuality we saw in the first film is going to run its course.

Hmmmmm.

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Katy Perry Offended?

Posted on: 06/23/10 3:26 PM | by Jonathan McKee

This is a real treat… Katy Perry was offended by Lady Gaga’s “blasphemy” in Gaga’s new video for her hit song Alejandro.

This is funny on so many levels, I don’t know where to begin.

Hmmmmmm. So the question is, is it worse to be completely promiscuous, or to mock religion while being promiscuous? Because Katy Perry is having no problem tramping it up for audiences… because sex still sells. Katy’s new video for California Gurls is still riding number one on iTunes. In much of this video, Katy is lying naked, face down in a cloud, with only a few inches covered here and there. In the video Katy makes a crude gesture imitating oral sex when she says the line, “melt your popsicle” (just like she did in her live performance at the MTV Movie Awards a couple weekends ago). Katy finally ends the video with whipped cream cans on her breasts, squirting whipped cream.

Katy and her video are both so overtly sexual that iTunes even slapped the small “explicit content” label on the video.

Then we have Gaga’s video Alejandro, currently riding at #4 on iTunes, with over 26 million views on YouTube. Gaga’s video is so… well… it’s so Gaga. It has dancers truly simulating sex throughout the latter half of the video. Let me be clear. I’m not just talking about what Miley did with her Can’t be Tamed video, just “dancing seductively” and “intimately with male and female dancers,” as the news media put it. No, Gaga makes Miley’s video look like a Barney episode. Gaga and her dancers are acting like they’re having sex, every position in the book. But she intermixes these images with shots of herself in a nun costume, eating a rosary, then wearing an upside-down cross on her crotch. I understand why, yes, even Katy Perry was offended.

Unfortunately, Katy’s comments give light to what many of our kids probably believe today:

“Like, you know, when Madonna was on a cross? And sometimes my boyfriend will say things that are ‘eh…,’ she said, referring to fiance Russell Brand. “From where I come from,” (both her parents, who are both pastors) “It’s hard for me to say that, because sometimes I’m a very hypocritical person. Everybody’s like, ‘How do you say that and you kissed a girl?’ And I think sometimes, most of the time, you can disagree or agree, spirituality and sexuality are two separate things, and then when you decide to put them into the same subject, it gets interesting for some people.”

All that from the great theologian, Katy Perry.

I won’t even try to interpret her meaning from that pithy little discourse. But it sounds like for Katy, being overtly sexual is okay… but don’t connect that to your spirituality.

Perhaps she should open her Bible and read a little bit of Paul’s writings, because as much as we might like to separate or compartmentalize our own morality (it’s okay if I sin Saturday night, but it’s time to dress up and go to church on Sunday), when we commit sexual sin, we are joining Christ to a prostitute (I Cor 6:15). Like it or not… that’s joining spirituality and sexuality together.

Sorry Katy… it’s all sin. We can sit around and talk all day about who is on which rung of the ladder, whether Gaga is lower than Katy… but the fact is, no one on the ladder can make it to God without Christ. We all need him. I know I do.

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What’s New for Teens on TV… Don’t Ask!

Posted on: 06/21/10 2:24 PM | by Jonathan McKee

School’s out, summer has officially arrived… and kids are officially bored. So what are many of them going to do?

As much as I would love to tell you that kid will be outside playing stickball in the street or riding their bikes to the lake to swim… the reality is, media is going to be a HUGE part of their summer. And research shows that the majority of that media will be TV.

So what’s on TV?

Most of the new shows aren’t out yet… except for two strategically timed brand new shows from MTV. And I’m actually afraid to even type what these two shows are about, because then many of your “content-blockers” might block this blog. So… hmmmm…. let me be scientific: the shows really focus on male genitalia. (how was that?)

This week our Youth Culture Window article goes into great detail about the shows. Here’s just a snippet. And please, pardon our candor:

A nerd with a big penis becomes the talk of the school. A stuffed bear with a big penis becomes the rival of a puppet ape.

Yep, these really are the plotlines for two of MTV’s new shows.

Introducing RJ Berger
The Hard Times of RJ Berger now airs on MTV on Monday nights at 10:00pm EST, following its pilot episode which debuted immediately after the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, June 6, 2010. The title of the show is actually a play on words because of the lead character’s…ummm, how do I say this?…“anatomical gift.”

CLICK HERE FOR THAT ENTIRE ARTICLE

It was funny. When I sent this article to my secretary to proof, she sent it back to me with this note: “Too much ‘penis’ in this article.”

I’ve never been sent a note like that before. (What has our society come to that we have to be careful how to even disclose to you about this kind of content?!!)

Sigh.

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