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A Lullaby

Posted on: 11/24/10 5:56 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m hanging with family for Thanksgiving. My brother Thom has two little ones, ages two and four. Since mine are 13, 15 and 17… I’ve almost forgotten what it is like. Fun… and tiring! 🙂

Tonight we were watching some adorable Elmo videos with the kids. I must admit… Sesame Street rocks! One of the cutest ones was definitely when Andrea Bocelli sang a lullaby to Elmo.

Good times!

Have a great Thanksgiving!

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An Interesting Interuption

Posted on: 11/21/10 10:19 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last night I spoke to about 400 teenagers and youth workers at a Baptist conference in West Virginia. In the middle of my talk, an inebriated gentleman staggered in the back and started making a lot of noise.

I was speaking about the subject of bullying, preaching out of Philippians 2, a subject that is close to my heart (most of you have already seen the Youth Culture Window article I just wrote on the subject, a little different perspective on the whole Bullying issue).

Meanwhile, the guy wanders in and sits in the back pew.

As I shared some of my story and my son’s story of being bullied, this guy started crying… loud! It was an interesting time in the talk. I was challenging them to think how they treat others that are different than them. Each time I gave an example (not gossiping about that person that’s different from us), he started crying louder.

It was so distracting, not only to me, but to all the kids in the room (kind of funny thinking back on it. Oh man. I’m laughing now.) But more and more kids started staring over at this guy, right while I’m saying, “Don’t look down on others who are different or awkward.”

The situation just spiraled. Every time I said something, his crying got louder. The guy was literally bawling! Some of the event leaders were trying to sit by him and comfort him. I felt sorry for them. I could tell they wanted to bring him outside to talk with him, but they didn’t want him to feel like he was being removed.

By now half the room is just staring at the guy. So I start trying to speak “in code” to them about the guy to try to not make him feel bad. I said, “Often, there are people who we’re tempted to look at differently, but we need to remember to treat them as Christ would treat them, not making them feel in any way like they don’t belong!”

When I said that, the guy started bawling uncontrollably. I literally had to say to the crowd, “Eyes up here!” Finally he got up and left with some of the event leaders who talked with him in the back room.

I was so distracted, I don’t know half of what I said for about a 10-minute period, not that anyone was listening to me at this point anyway!

Anyway… I finally got their attention back and it seemed like the kids really connected with it. And the distraught gentlemen got to talk with some of the leaders before going home to sleep it off.

Hilarious experience… NOW! Not then.

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I’m Too Sexy for My… Costume?

Posted on: 10/25/10 1:45 PM | by Jonathan McKee

“What do you wanna be for Halloween?” Taylor whispers to her friend Kayla in her 6^th grade history class.

“A naughty nurse! What about you?”

“A racy referee!”

Whatever happened to good ol’ princess costumes? Anyone? How about a clown?

Halloween costumes are becoming smaller, racier and sexier. These kinds of provocative costumes have always been available for adults, but have you noticed how frequently they are being marketed to our teens and tweens in the last few years?

My 13-year-old and 15-year-old girl love costumes, so they are quick to grab the “Party City” costume insert in the paper each week during the month of October. Have you seen these ads? Some of these might as well be in the Victoria Secret catalogue. Alyssa picked up this week’s little costume insert and saw a picture of this girl in the little blue outfit highlighted on the back of the ad (the picture on the right). She laughed and asked me (and I quote), “What’s this costume supposed to be, girl in slutty blue dress?”

It’s funny. Many of the costumes don’t seem to have a point, other than to be short and provocative. Sadly, parents are “lowering the bar” and purchasing these kinds of costumes for their daughters. This is yet another instance when parents should read the American Psychological Association’s report, The Sexualization of Girls and consider the consequences that go along with lowering our standards like this.

Jump on Party City’s

costume website and look at the most popular costumes they market to our teenager girls. Girls can choose from costumes like the Teen Girls Racy Referee Costume. Or for those who want to pay tribute to our soldiers, why not get your daughter a Teen Girls Sassy Sailor Costume.

As a dad of two teenage girls, I can assure you… there is no way they are leaving my house wearing something like this! Sadly, many parents allow this. You should have seen the average dress size at the Homecoming dance I chaperoned a few weekends ago. Some of those dresses would have made Katy Perry blush.

We need to stop lowering the bar.

Many teenage girls aren’t going to just consider costumes for teenagers (they’ll let our tween girls do that—kids always dress up one age group. That’s why some of the girls in my daughter’s junior high school PE class wear thongs), they’re going to look at the costumes for adults. That opens up a whole world of choices for young girls. Now they can dress up as Mile High Captain (my 13-year-old asked me why she was called that. Sigh.) or Dirty Cop.

Amazon.com offers a bunch of really crude and racy costumes as well, costumes like “Gropin Granny” or “d**k-head,” a costume where guys dress up as… well… yes, the male genitalia (Yeah, I didn’t include a pic of that one). I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. This costume is probably pretty accurate to what we’ve all become dressing up our females like we do.

If a man wants to buy a sexy costume for his wife when the trick-or-treaters are gone and the kids are asleep, have fun! (hmmmm… that gets me thinking) …but can we please stop marketing this stuff to our kids?

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Battle of the Philly Cheesesteaks

Posted on: 10/16/10 1:57 PM | by Jonathan McKee

So I’m in Philly for the weekend doing one of my parenting workshops at a local high school and preaching at a church Sunday a.m. I flew in yesterday and met with some new youth worker friends today for lunch. They asked me where I wanna go, I said, “Some place truly ‘Philly.'”

They said, “Okay, we gotta take you to get a cheesesteak.”

Here’s where it got interesting.

There are three cheesesteak places here that have really made a name for themselves. Two of them (Geno’s and Pat’s) are huge rivals and right across the street from each other, and the other is a little place in South Philly called Tony Luke’s. My friends like Tony Luke’s the best, so off we went!

As you can see from the picture, this little outdoor dive was PACKED with a line of people all the way down the street! We waited for about 20 minutes and when we finally made it to the front, I let my friend Chris order for me. He ordered the traditional cheesesteak with grilled onions and the cheese wizz.

Yeah… it didn’t sound appetizing to me either.

But then I tasted it.

Pretty good! Surprisingly good actually! No, it’s no Giordano’s Pizza (shout out to Chicago), but it was definitely worth the wait! Plus, the atmosphere was authentic Philly. It was like going to The Varsity in Atlanta. More of an experience than mindblowing food.

We then drove through South Philly wear Rocky ran, then through the downtown, etc. Great town, great history.

Back to work. I’m throwing some last minute touches on my parenting seminar. Gonna show them a few music video snippets tonight (Katy Perry, Miley, Far East Movement…)

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Will I Let My Kids Go Next Time?

Posted on: 10/11/10 1:08 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Will I let my kids go to the next high school dance?

That’s truly a tough one.

It’s the question I keep hearing now that I’ve had this inside peek into a public high school dance— my own kids’ high school dance!!

High school dances are an American “rite of passage” to many. I’ve seen good and bad. Sadly, the lack of clean music has made the situation much more difficult.

For those who are curious of my two cents… I pour my heart out and answer the above question in this brand new Youth Culture Window article: IN THE DARK– A Sobering Peek into a Public High School Dance.

Here’s just a snippet:

Her date wrapped his arms around her front and she backed up, pushing herself against him, moving in a motion that would have made her blush in any other context, but the darkness and the safety of this crowd covered any embarrassment. Tonight this dark room was no place for second thoughts.

This is what he wants, she thought to herself. He’ll like me if I do this. He’ll notice me when I wear this. After all, if I don’t do this for him, there are a hundred other girls who are willing to.

Blame it on the music or the company she keeps or a dad who didn’t give his little daughter enough hugs. Regardless of the cause, another young girl has given up her innocence in exchange for a lie. It’s the norm to give your date a lap dance.

Sexualized
I’ve read dozens of articles and studies about the “sexualization” of today’s young girls. I’ve written about it and cited it in the media. But Saturday night I was surrounded by it. Literally hundreds of girls played the part our culture has written for them: Be a sex object.

I’ve always thought I had a pretty good finger on the pulse of youth culture. I know what goes on at school dances. After all the articles I’ve read on the subject, as well as the ones we’ve written on our own site, not to mention the plethora of MTV Video Music Award shows I’ve reviewed… I really didn’t think I could be shocked. But last night I was flabbergasted. It was sobering to see the effect of sexualization first hand— young girls with dresses so short that their underwear often peaked out from underneath, and literally hundreds of girls “backing up” into guys and rubbing up against them throughout the evening…

CLICK HERE FOR THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

Posted in Jonathan's Rant, Personal, Sexuality, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Inside a Public School Dance

Posted on: 10/9/10 4:53 PM | by Jonathan McKee

This weekend brings an interesting opportunity for me, the opportunity to chaperone a public high school homecoming dance at my two oldest kids’ school. I love opportunities like this when research transcends beyond the desk out to the front lines. It’s one thing to read the studies about what kids are listening to… it’s another thing to see it first hand. I try to constantly subject myself to both.

I wanted to share some of these early thoughts with you. I will write you a full report in this week’s Youth Culture Window article (now you can CLICK HERE FOR THAT ARTICLE). (NOTE: This blog also shares more thoughts below from when I got back from the dance- scroll down to see those.)

Many of you already heard me chime in a little bit on this subject last weekend when I revealed to you the written warnings on the front of the “ticket” for the dance my 15-year-old daughter went to— last weekend she went to the homecoming dance at another school with some friends from church. Interesting experience! I was talking to her and one of her friends afterwards about what they experienced; both of them were surprised how many kids were “getting low” and “grinding” (it’s funny… I’m trying to choose my terms wisely. How exactly do you say, “Sex with your clothes on?”). I asked them each exactly what percentage of teenagers they saw dancing like that. Seperately they each responded, “Over 50%.” My daughter’s friend said that one of her classmates even came up behind her and started “grinding” her from the backside. She turned around and backed away, not sure what protocol was for rejecting someone trying to hump you.

It’s an interesting world we live in. I can’t really blame many of these young men. No, I’m not trying to defend them in any way. But our society has taught them that this is okay. It’s the norm in every music video. A few months ago I was watching the Regis and Kelly show, when Kelly threw up her arms and began dancing like that with rapper Ludachris.

Dare I quote Billy Ray Cyrus? “It’s what today’s young people do.”

Full report coming. Some of these thoughts will be in there. I just wanted to share them with you first.

AFTER DANCE THOUGHTS:
We just got home from the dance. My wife just said, “I’ve never seen so many trampy girls in all my life!” LOL

She’s really not exaggerating. The most surprising elements were the short dresses across the board, and how much “front to back” dancing there was. Kids barely face each other anymore, girls just rub their butts into the guys crotches all night. Teachers didn’t even bother stopping it because they’d have to send everyone home.

I “tweeted” throughout the entire dance- crazy stuff. I wish I had a video camera, it was literally amazing. I would love to see all the mom and dad’s reactions to what they’d see. I’m SOOOOooooooo glad my kids weren’t there.

Here’s some of my tweets during the dance.

At the dance- the female teacher i was just talking with has already had to tell 2 girls to pull their dress down to cover their underwear.

At the dance- this is amusing. The teachers are tring to stop the kids from getting low and backing up, but thats what the lyrics are saying

At the dance- it’s bad that i can see a girl’s underwear right now, right? Her dress is so short it keeps hiking up. Sigh.

At the dance- the senior that just won homecoming king just fell off the stage, toasted. One of his buddies already sent home for drinking.

CLICK HERE to read all my tweets that night.

And HERE for the article.

Posted in Personal, Sexuality, Social Media, Youth Culture | | Leave A Comment

Alyssa’s Dance Ticket

Posted on: 10/2/10 4:33 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… It’s time to chime in about this dance my daughter is going to tonight and what’s written on her ticket.

Alyssa, my 15-year-old, who is GORGEOUS, is going to Homecoming tonight with a nice young man from church. I’m not worried, but I probably should be, because when I was 15, some people probably thought I was “a nice young man from church.” And I wasn’t! (Well, I was kind, and courteous. But, looking back, I was not respectful to the girls I dated at all!)

So I have to share with you the warnings that this “ticket” has written on it from the school. Hilarious… yet revealing about today’s culture. (I’m laughing because I’m going to be chaperoning my son’s school dance next weekend, and I know I’ll be seeing some of this.)

Here’s a glimpse of what’s written on the ticket:

Students:

·        Are expected to face their partner at all times (no back to front motion)

·        Must maintain a 4 – 6 inch space from their partner

·        May not engage in ‘leg wrapping’

·        With the exception of feet, may not place body parts on floor

·        May not engage in grinding, moshing, or body surfing

·        May slow dance as long as it does not extend beyond hugging

·        May break dance as long as there is adequate space and prior approval has been obtained.

Students who fail to adhere to the dance policy will be given their one and only warning (wristband or I.D. Card). Any additional violations will result in the student being removed from the dance.

How would you have liked to be on the committee that had to come up with these guidelines? lol … I love their wording. I can imagine the meeting. “So how do we get them to stop humping each other on the dance floor? Can we say ‘no humping’ on the ticket?” “I know, let’s just call it, ‘no back to front motion.'”

Oh man!

Alyssa and I talked about it. The guy she’s going with is a friend, not a boyfriend. He’s a great guy and I think he’ll be really respectful. They’re going as a group, six kids from church, none of them are actually “boyfriend and girlfriend” … all just buddies. They should have a blast.

I’m sooooooo bummed that I’m missing it. I’ll be in San Diego teaching at the YS Convention. Sniff! Sniff!

Alyssa said she might text me and keep me posted. I’ll probably tweet a little about it if I hear from her.

(Please text me Alyssa!) 🙂

UPDATE:

Lyssy texted me and told me she’s having a good time.

Also… her date’s li’l sis texted me a pic she took of the two of them. Awe… don’t they look sweet! (Sniff… my little girl is growing up!)

Posted in Family, Humor, Parenting, Personal | | Leave A Comment

This Weekend

Posted on: 09/30/10 9:34 PM | by Jonathan McKee

This weekend is going to be a little crazy for me. I’d love your prayers.

On Saturday I’m running a 5K for our ministry. When I finish that event, I quickly shower, then hop on a plane and head to San Diego to the Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention where I’ll be mingling with youth workers and friends, and teaching two workshops:

Using 10-Minute Talks: Speaking to Generations with Short Attention Spans

Ministry by Teenagers: Developing Leaders from Within

I’ve taught the “10-Minute Talks” workshop a few times at the conference. The “Ministry by Teenagers” is new, based off my brand new book coming out this December (we’ll be selling it on our site as well then).

I’ll be Twittering from the conference. I’m supposed to get together with Greg Stier, Wayne Rice, Adam McLane and others… so I’ll keep you all updated via my Twitter page.

While all this is going on… my 15-year-old daughter is going to her first dance… and I WON’T BE THERE TO SEE HER OFF! That’s terrible! (can someone hear “Cats in the Cradle” playing???) I’m going to blog more about this later- I need to talk more about this. Also, I’m going to be chaperoning a public H.S. school dance in one week (a great way to keep current with youth culture), so I’ll be blogging and tweeting about that as well.

Thanks for your prayers!

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Running for You

Posted on: 09/21/10 9:48 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m doing it again… I’m running for you. And I could use your help.

As one of my blog subscribers, you know better than most that I love to provide youth workers and parents with truly free resources, articles and youth culture research. Well, on Saturday, October 2nd, I’m doing something to help make that happen. I’m running to keep the resources free!

Last year many of you might remember me running 10 miles for all of you in our ministry’s little fund raiser called ENDURE. This year I’m running again, and my goal is to raise $3,000 in pledges that will go directly toward the free resources we provide at www.TheSource4YM.com. The Source is a 501(c)(3), Federal Tax I.D. #47-0855213.

Here’s where you can help.

I know that there are literally tens of thousands of people that use our free resources that have no budget. We want to be able to keep providing to those people. So for those of you that have the means to help just a little, jump onto this page: http://www.thesource4ym.com/endure/Donate.aspx and make a tax deductable donation via VISA/MC or paypal. You can make it a general donation, or you can sponsor me; either way, the money goes 100% toward the free resources we provide!

It can be $10, $25, $50, or $100. Just do whatever you feel. I’ll run the race… you run your credit card through. 🙂

If you don’t like using VISA/MC, you can simply mail your tax deductable donations to:

The Source for Youth Ministry
8863 Greenback Lane #333
Orangevale, CA 95662

(make checks out to “THE SOURCE FOR YOUTH MINISTRY”)

Pray and see what God lays on your heart to do. I sincerely thank those of you in youth ministry for doing the incredibly important work you do. You truly are the reason why we do what we do. Thanks for loving and serving millions of kids in Christ’s Name.

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