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Tragedy at the Steven Curtis Chapman Home

Posted on: 05/22/08 10:30 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Many of you might have read about the incredible loss Steven Curtis Chapman and his family suffered yesterday in their rural Williamson County home just south of Nashville.

The 5-year-old daughter of Grammy-winning Christian music star Steven Curtis Chapman was struck and killed Wednesday by a sport utility vehicle driven by her brother, authorities said.

Please take a moment and pray for the family. Several family members witnessed the accident.

Maria, one of the Christian singer’s six children, was taken by LifeFlight to Vanderbilt Hospital, which confirmed the death, according to Laura McPherson, a spokeswoman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol.

The 5-year-old was hit by an SUV driven by her teenage brother, she said. Police did not give the driver’s name.

The teen was driving a Toyota Land Cruiser down the driveway of the rural home at about 5:30 p.m. and several children were playing in the area, McPherson said. He did not see Maria in the driveway before the vehicle struck her, she said. –Tennessean.com

Pray for the brother who was the driver. I can’t even imagine the regret he must be feeling right now.

Maria was the youngest of the family’s three adopted children.

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Belief in God… Just Not Church

Posted on: 05/20/08 9:47 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last Sunday I provided a quick “youth culture update” to a local group of youth leaders. In this training, I talked about how the majority of this young generation in America is open to God and spiritual beliefs… just not church attendance or organized religion (a fact I discussed in detail in my book about reaching out to the unchurched).

UK opinion columnist Camilla Cavendish draws the same conclusion about people in Britain. In this article she highlights the religious trends report suggesting there will be fewer people attending churches than mosques by 2040. Apparently only 6.3 percent of the UK population attends church on an average Sunday.

But does that mean 93.7 percent are atheists?

Not even close.

Cavendish, a self described “moonlighting agnostic,” gives us a glimpse into the reality that people might be interested in God… they just aren’t interested in church.

There is a fascinating debate to be had about cause and effect. But the only point I want to make is that being a Christian country has always been about more than belief in God and Sunday worship. In the 2001 census, seven in ten people described themselves as Christian, to the astonishment of many bishops; 22 per cent claimed to be still going to church at least once a year.

So Britain is very similar to America in that the majority of the country describe themselves as Christian, but very few attend church. My friend Dan Kimball expands on this phenomena in his book They Like Jesus, But Not the Church.

This coincides with much of what we’re hearing from people in the media (the source where much of this generation are drawing their opinions from). Celebrities make statements frequently that support this kind of thinking. In my Reaching Out to the Unchurched Training I often share quotes from the media preaching “belief in the spiritual” but resistance to “church or religion.”

“I think I find more strength in faith than I do in organized religion.”
– Jon Bon Jovi, Time, August 6, 2007, p. 6.

“I believe there is something out there. I believe there is an energy, a Karma– you know– what goes around comes around. And I hope to God that there is an afterlife . . . I don’t go to church that often. I go for like Easter Sunday. There is such a short period of time to live and I’d rather spend it ‘living life’ as apposed to sitting down and praying.”
-Hayden Panettiere, Interview, The Source for Youth Ministry

“I grew up in a family that called itself Catholic. But nobody told me that to pray you have to go to a place. I’ve always believed in God my own way.”
– Actress Penelope Cruz, Jane, March 2005, p. 109.

Hmmmmmmm.

I always find it interesting to get a peek into the minds of those we are trying to reach.

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Are You Ready for Kids With Special Needs?

Posted on: 05/19/08 9:38 AM | by Jonathan McKee

And I thought I had experienced disruptive kids!

Carol Race can’t take her son to church. One Sunday she tried… and the Sheriff was waiting at the end of her driveway. The church had filed a restraining order. But according to this twin cities Star Tribune article, Carol’s son isn’t your average 13-year-old.

The Rev. Daniel Walz, who did not return calls left at the Church of St. Joseph parish office, wrote in court documents that Adam’s behavior was “extremely disruptive and dangerous.” He alleged that Adam, who is more than 6 feet tall and weighs over 225 pounds, spits and urinates in church and has nearly injured children and elderly people.

Wow. This wouldn’t be an easy situation for anyone. Carol’s son is autistic. Shouldn’t he be able to attend church? At the same time, are there boundaries of what behavior is tolerable?

How do we minister to special needs kids?

My wife volunteered in a Sunday school class where we had several autistic children that attended. Some were pleasant experiences, some were very difficult. If we as the church are unprepared for such a situation, the results can be very unpleasant for everyone. But with a little compassion and some pro-active planning, ministering to special needs kids can be one other aspect of our ministry where we can represent Christ not only in word, but in deed.

Being pro-active to minister to special needs kids always includes two elements:

1. Being prepared to offer one-on-one attention to special needs kids

2. Good communication with the parents

The best help in these situations is always providing “one-on-one” attention to these children. The church I attended realized that many of these special needs kids needed special attention. So the church assigned a single volunteer to these individual kids (yes, it should be no surprise that much of our job as youth or children’s workers is recruiting and managing volunteers). If the kid became too disruptive, then the volunteer could take the child on a walk or in another room. I attended one large church where they had a special room for special needs kids. This was a room set up with special toys and games reserved exclusively for these kids.

An open channel of communication with the parents is also always key. Parents of special needs kids should be assured primarily that we want to serve them and love them and their children. Then ask them for any advice about their child. Be a good listener. As you listen to their needs, explain to them what you can hope to provide with one-on-one attention and any special rooms or services. Then be sure to get a cell phone number or point of connection so you can call them for help if the situation gets out of hand. It’s not unfair to set boundaries.

My sister in law Amy is a speech therapist and works with numerous special needs kids, including autistic children. I emailed her about a special situation with a kid that was very disruptive in a youth group. Her response was very helpful:

To me, the physical outbursts have to be handled – I would definitely talk with the family and if they were unable to help control these, I may have to restrict the son’s involvement in certain events where he was more unmanageable. I would also consider having some private chats with the regular ed students – how God has made us all in His image, and see if God has placed these (special needs) kids on any of the student’s hearts to directly minister to and “help out.” It may help make them less “annoying” in the eyes of the group if the group has an opportunity to voice their frustrations and at the same time hear a bit of God’s perspective on these kids of His.

I love how Amy not only gave good advice about communication and boundaries… but she talked about an opportunity for our entire youth group to minister.

Jesus came across a lot of people with special needs and always seemed to act in compassion. I think we should try to do the same.

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Hip Hop, Where “Thug” Must Be on Your Resume

Posted on: 05/8/08 9:59 AM | by Jonathan McKee

“I’ve been shot seven times!”

“I did hard time!”

And these are… good things? Maybe not, but they always seem to capture the attention of today’s generation. Maybe that’s why recent Hip Hop star Akon lied about his background, adding a little bit more “thug” to his resume than was actually there.

Atlanta Journal – Constitution’s Cynthia Tucker shares an enlightening perspective about this thug culture:

You’ve heard of resume inflation? You’ve heard of people who lie about having Ph.D.s or Ivy League pedigrees in order to get ahead?

The world of thug culture has its own perverse equivalent, in which middle-class men with minor legal transgressions exaggerate their bad behavior, claiming to be hard-core degenerates to impress youngsters looking for outlaw role models. In this destructive environment, the more violent and predatory you are, the more heroic you seem.

That helps to explain why a metro Atlanta hip-hop star known as Akon wove a tall tale of malevolence and criminality, claiming to have spent three years in prison for running a “notorious car theft operation,” a story he’s been telling for years. In fact, he has apparently never served hard prison time. The Smoking Gun Web site recently exposed Akon as a thug wannabe, a “James Frey with … an American Music Award.”

American popular culture has always had a tendency to romanticize hoodlums, whether Al Capone, Bonnie and Clyde or Tony Soprano. But the hip-hop world’s celebration of savage violence, educational failure and misogyny has been one of the worst influences on American youth, especially black youth, in decades. If you want to ruin a nation, a society or an ethnic group, persuade its members that the highest form of achievement is committing crimes.

This is a huge mistake for Akon. To today’s generation, no insult could be worse than “phony.” Authenticity is huge today. Kids don’t care if you’re a thug or in rehab. Those things are fine… as long as you “keep it real.”

Hmmmmmm.

(Thanks to Youth Culture Window guru David for this article)

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Barbie Too Slutty for Iran

Posted on: 04/30/08 8:47 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Wow… I don’t know if I totally disagree with this.

The Iranian vice president is speaking out against Barbie, computer games, and movies.

In this Times Online article it’s evident that Barbie and other western toys are not welcome:

Barbie dolls and other western toys will lead to “destructive and cultural consequences” for Iran, the country’s leading prosecutor wrote in a letter to the Iranian vice-president, published in the Mardom Salari newspaper. “The appearance of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter and … computer games and movies are all a danger ” A toy seller Masoumeh Rahimi adds that Barbie in particular is “foreign to Iran’s culture” , wanton, and ” more harmful than an American missile”.

Hmmmm. I’m not sure what he’s afraid of in Batman and Spiderman. Maybe those spandex suits are just too revealing. 🙂 But I think there’s a kernal of truth in this guy’s worries when you take a look at some of the toys and games our culture is pimping out to our kids. It would be hard for us to deny some of the “destructive and cultural consequences” we are seeing from the media.

But I think this guy is taking the extreme position. It’s all evil!

The other extreme is embraced by much of our culture. We should let our kids be free to choose what is right for them.

I have to admit… I don’t like either extreme. I guess that’s where good parenting is going to have to just kick in.

Thoughts?

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Seeing Much “More” of Miley

Posted on: 04/28/08 9:01 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Miley is regretting her decision big time.

Haven’t we all regretted decisions at one time or another? That’s why this is a great opportunity to discuss decision making with our kids. (Note: I’ve included discussion questions with a scripture passage below)

Here’s the skinny: Last week I was surprised by an email from a blog subscriber telling me that Miley had just taken some shots of herself in her underwear and one shot of herself pulling her shirt down exposing her green bra. I didn’t post anything because there was some debate as to whether it was truly Miley or not. No statement was issued.

Well… this morning a new set of photos have emerged… and it’s no secret. Associated Press spells it out:

Miley Cyrus is taking issue with a photo of herself that’s going around, and it’s not another amateur, truth-or-dare Internet snapshot — it’s the handiwork of Annie Leibovitz.

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” Cyrus said Sunday in a statement through her publicist. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

The photos, appearing in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, were taken by Leibovitz, a renowned celebrity photographer whose edgy, silver-toned portraits have included subjects such as Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson and a naked, pregnant Demi Moore.

The picture doesn’t show any nudity, but it shows the shirtless Miley covering her front with a blanket and showing her bare back to the camera. Even though this picture isn’t pornographic, it disturbed Disney and Miley enough that they both issued statements. And most people agree that Miley had been duped so Vanity Fair can just sell magazines.

Obviously this makes me sad. Miley is one of the few superstars that I’ve felt pretty good about my kids watching and listening to. She seems to have a faith (I’ve blogged on that before), although I’ve never heard her talk too specifically about it (Remember people, just because she said “I want to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” at the recent awards, that doesn’t mean anything. Don’t ask me to list the people who have said those exact words receiving awards). But, as I’ve mentioned in a previous blog about Miley, her parents are once again proving to demonstrate questionable judgment.

THOUGHT FOR DISCUSSION WITH OUR KIDS:
So what can we as youth workers and parents do about this? I think that this issue like many issues is a jumpstarter to dialogues with our kids about decision making. I’d use this statement from Cyrus in the Associated Press article:

“I think it’s really artsy,” she told the magazine at the time. “It wasn’t in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That’s what she wanted me to do, and you can’t say no to Annie.”

CNN expands on this:

And you can’t say no to Annie. She’s so cute. She gets this puppy dog look and you’re like, ‘O.K.'”

then this…

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” Cyrus said Sunday in a statement through her publicist. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

Then I’d ask our kids:

1. Why do you think Miley changed her mind after she saw the pictures?

2. Have you ever made a decision and regretted it later?

3. When we make decisions based on “what feels right at the moment,” are those decisions always right?

4. What guideline should we use for making decisions?

5. The world sometimes puts on a lot of pressure to do wrong. Miley said that it was hard to say no to Annie… with her puppy dog look she was very convincing. Is there someone it’s hard for you to say no to?

6. How can we equip ourselves to make good decisions even when “the pressure is on” to make bad ones?

What the Bible Says:
The world can be pretty convincing in their lies, so much so that their lies sound like the truth at the moment. The Bible talks about escaping this kind of thinking and letting Christ influence us instead of the world. Check it out:

“Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth. [15] Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” (Ephes. 4:14-15, NLT)

7. According to the beginning of the verses, what will be no longer be like? What does that mean?

8. According to the end of the verse, what should we be like? How can we do that?

9. What is one way that you could try to be more like Christ this week?

INSERT from 12/2/08: Miley now comments about “not regretting” the pictures in this article

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The Day of… WHAT?

Posted on: 04/21/08 9:29 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Oh boy… here we go again. It’s happening next week.

Why is it that Christians always feel that they need to “stand up for their rights” and speak out against organizations, or governments that are caught up in sin?

Where is this in the Bible?

It’s probably no secret to some of you that this Friday is the pro-homosexual tolerance Day of Silence. This day brings attention to the anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. I’m not going to address the issue of homo-sexuality in this blog. I’ve addressed it before in blogs and articles. In this blog I’m simply addressing our RESPONSE to the world when we don’t like what we see. (and I’m going to highlight an example of how NOT to respond)

Why do Christians think that picket signs or protesting is the answer?

Let me ask you one question. Name one person you know that accepted Christ because someone “protested” them into the Kingdom.

So why do Christians feel the need to do this?

Oh… I know why. It’s because when Jesus looked at the corrupt government of his day (Are you aware of what was going on in Herod’s house at the time?) he must have responded by gathering a mob and picketing the immoral lifestyle… wait… just a second… you mean… he didn’t? Well maybe he started a website, organizing people to protest in another way? No?

Hmmmmmm.

Well, Christians have created their own day in response to the Day of Silence called The Day of Truth. On Monday, April 28, 2008, some Christians have decided to establish this day to “counter the promotion of the homosexual agenda and express an opposing viewpoint from a Christian perspective… The Day of Truth provides an opportunity to publicly exercise our free speech rights.”

When I saw this I immediately thought of a few conversations I’ve had with Dan Kimball on the subject. Dan is a Christian speaker and author who believes engaging in homosexual acts is a sin, but shows incredible compassion and love to the homosexual community (He touches on this in our podcast with him, Podcast Episode #12 and in his powerful book, They Like Jesus, But Not the Church). I asked Dan his opinion about this Christian response- The Day of Truth. Dan gave me some quick thoughts:

i think those types of things end up doing more harm than good. i would encourage parents to be talking with their teenagers and youth leaders addressing it wisely in their ministries, but doing a public event at a high school i am not sure is beneficial to the direction of hope. i would encourage the Christian teenagers to simply be friends with gay students and pro-gay students, and in the context of friendships the message of jesus will come through. I don’t know if formalizing a date to do it only reinforces things and we lose our voice.

I can’t agree more.

Earlier this year many of us saw statistics of just how bad we look to the rest of the world. Only 16% of unchurched people had positive things to say about Christians. The majority of them used words like “hypocrite” and “judgemental” to describe us.

It all comes down to this. The Day of Truth web site is not without good intentions. They seem to be seeking conversation with homosexuals. Their cards bear this as part of their message:

It’s time for an honest conversation about homosexuality.
There’s freedom to change if you want to.
Let’s talk.

I think talking is good. But here’s what I’ll leave you with: If our goal is conversations, do you really think a formal day of “speaking out” will create conversations with homo-sexuals? Or will it build walls?

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Why Do One in Four Teen Girls Have an STD?

Posted on: 04/15/08 5:07 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Last month we saw articles in every major newspaper about the new report that one in four teen girls has an STD. People were shocked. This week we’re asking for your response and I’ll be blogging about the subject all week.

I have to admit… I wasn’t surprised by the results of this report in the slightest. What has surprised me in this highly sexualized culture is that we haven’t seen this report sooner.

If you missed the report, here’s a snippet from U.S. News:

More than 3 million teenaged girls have at least one sexually transmitted disease (STD), a new government study suggests.

The most severely affected are African-American teens. In fact, 48 percent of African-American teenaged girls have an STD, compared with 20 percent of white teenaged girls.

“These numbers translate into 3.2 million young women nationwide who are infected with an STD,” Forhan said. “This means that far too many young women are at risk of the serious health effects of untreated STDs, including infertility and cervical cancer.”

These common STDs include human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, herpes simplex virus and trichomoniasis, Forhan said.

So who is to blame?

It’s probably not too difficult to guess who Planned Parenthood is blaming:

Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, said the study shows that “the national policy of promoting abstinence-only programs is a $1.5 billion failure, and teenage girls are paying the real price.” Huffington Post, 3/11/2008

Let’s hold off any analysis of abstinence education for a second… but we will be returning to the subject.

What about the influence of the media? Are they to blame? You might remember last month when I blogged about lyrics and I noted that in 2007, The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) revealed that “teens who listened to lots of music with degrading sexual messages were almost twice as likely to start having intercourse…as teens who listened to little or no sexually degrading music.” (Houston Chronicle)

But is that where the blame rests? Just the media?

Where are parents?

Let me assure you. The BEST abstinence and or sex education of any kind is from parents who talk with their kids honestly about sex– an ongoing conversation. Sure, we, as a society can’t count on this communication to always happen at home, so we need to provide sex education in other venues as well. But do parents really see this ongoing communication in the home as their responsibility?

What best equips kids for these sexual decisions? What kind of sex education can prevent 1 in 4 girls from getting a disease that will probably have permanent consequences?

I ask you this, because this week in this blog we’ll be looking at the effectiveness of abstinence education, the influence of the media and other issues that contribute toward this “1 in 4” stat.

Comments?

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Worship on American Idol?

Posted on: 04/11/08 10:38 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Okay… I am constantly shocked by TV, but last night was a totally different kind of surprise. If you saw it, you were probably as surprised as me. American Idol opened up their show last night (Thursday) with the “Top 8” singing the worship song, Shout to the Lord.

Yes… the first words sung on American Idol last night were, “My Jesus, My Savior, Lord there is none like you.”

Check it out! (if you are receiving this in an email, click here to see it)

Wow!

Yes… last week (with Dolly Parton) we heard them sing about Jesus in a couple of songs. I was a little suprised then. But wow… two weeks in a row? And Shout to the Lord? Wow. (Did I mention, “Wow!”)

But then I discoverd something interesting on the internet this morning. This was the SECOND time they sang this song.

Huh?

Yeah… I missed the first time also. For the rest of you who have TIVO like me, when we watched Idol Gives Back, your recording probably ended without hearing the closing number. But if you go on YouTube today you can view the closing number of Idol Gives Back (Wednesday night) where the “Top 8” are wearing white outfits and singing Shout to the Lord. (followed by Ben Stiller coming on stage for a final word where he drops a few cuss words that have to be bleeped out- talk about a contrast)

Wait… this gets more interesting. In that previous version, they start with the words, “My shepherd, my savior. Lord there is none like you.” That’s right. They left Jesus out of it. Check it out (if you are receiving this as an email, click here to see it).

Hmmmmmmm.

It’s funny. Yesterday the internet was filled with blogs of ticked off Christians ranting about “Why did they take Jesus out of the song!” People were outraged.

Sure, I wouldn’t have liked it (if I had seen that version of the song first). But it doesn’t surprise me at all. What surprises me is that Jesus made it back in!!!

So what happened overnight that put Jesus back in the lyrics? (because I know Fox wasn’t listening to those whiney blogs)

Does anyone know why Jesus was voted back in just before Michael was voted off?

Posted in Entertainment Media, Faith, Music, News, TV | | Leave A Comment

Florida Teens Numb to Consequences

Posted on: 04/10/08 3:01 PM | by Jonathan McKee

By now you’ve probably heard the news about eight Florida teens that beat their friend senseless and filmed it to post on YouTube. Six of the teenagers were girls. The victim? A 16 year old girl.

The shocking part of the story is that they filmed the whole thing and didn’t ever realize that the film would be used as evidence against them. Now there is a chance that they might be tried as adults and could be sentenced to life in prison.

Even more shocking is their responses. At their arrests, the girls joked, “Guess we’re not going to go to the beach on this spring break,” while another one asked detectives, “Am I going to be released in time to go to cheerleading practice tomorrow?”

CNN describes the scene:

The video shows a brutal scene: The 16-year-old victim is punched, kneed and slapped by other girls. She huddles in the fetal position, or stands and screams at her attackers, but the assault continues. Authorities say the eight teens said they were retaliating for insults posted on the Internet by the attack victim.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd called the March 30 attack “animalistic.”

Ironically, our own David R. Smith was writing a YOUTH CULTURE WINDOW article on violence when this occured. Next week you’ll see his research in that article on our front page (in the big magnifying glass).

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