Using Kesha to talk about true love

Posted on: 08/11/10 7:28 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I don’t know if you’ve noticed… but we’ve been pumping out a ton of free curriculum and discussions on TheSource4YM’s MUSIC DISCUSSIONS page and MOVIE CLIP DISCUSSIONS page this summer.

This week we just added a new discussion using Kesha’s song, Your Love is My Drug to springboard a conversation about focusing on the true definition of love given by God.

Most of our kids are familiar with Kesha and this song… this is a great chance to ask them, “Have you thought about what she’s saying?”

Our discussion provides small group questions, scripture and a wrap up.

Find that and others on our MUSIC DISCUSSIONS page.

A Glimpse Into What Teens Watch

Posted on: 08/3/10 5:37 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Three times a year… yes, only three times a year, I tell you to set your DVRs to record an award show watched by teens. One of those is coming next Monday night on Fox: The Teen Choice Awards.

I always tell parents to put their kids to bed and turn on The Teen Choice Awards. This show is always a revealing look into our youth culture, giving adults a peek at many of the teen idols their kids listen to, watch and talk about. It’s healthy for adults to be in “the know” about these things.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to start listening to Katy Perry every day or watching Jersey Shore. This one glimpse will tell you plenty. Take last year for instance– Miley’s little pole dance, and Britney’s “Ultimate Choice” award. Click here for my entire synopsis of that event.

This year I wouldn’t expect much less with Katy Perry as a host and performing. We all saw what her performance brought at the MTV Video Music Awards.

So set your DVRS to Fox on Monday night.

The Sexualization of Young Girls

Posted on: 07/28/10 10:37 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I’ve blogged about the subject countless times- the impact that sexualized media has on our kids, particularly our girls. And often I receive comments back, “Can’t we do something about this?”

Yes. Plenty. And most of it starts with what you can do in your own home. But some might also be interested in some national legislation that’s on the table.

The issue is this: today’s youth are bombarded with sexualized media content, and its consequences are unquestionable (Head up… I think today’s blog is going to break a record for the most hyperlinks. I’m going to bombard you with research and articles today). You see it every day in the top 10 songs at any given time, or from artist that know that sex sells, artist like Britney, Christina, and even Miley. Some researchers have actually labeled this phenomena, calling it “sexualization.” The American Psychological Association released a report titled, ‘The Sexualization of Girls,’ defining sexualization as When a person’s value comes only from her/his sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, and when a person is sexually objectified, e.g., made into a thing for another’s sexual use.” According to their research, the consequences of sexualization are detailed as negative effects in a variety of domains, including cognitive functioning, physical and mental health, sexuality, and attitudes and beliefs.”

As parents and youth workers, we’ve seen these effects first hand. You have heard me talk about it, and hopefully even read the research firsthand. Even those not in contact with kids read the headlines and can’t avoid the fact that “1 in 4 teenager girls have an STD.” 

Think about that for a second- especially those that think, “Oh, this is nothing new.” If you graduated in 1967- 1 in 32 teenagers had an STD. In 1983- 1 in 18 teenagers had an STD.

Today, it’s 1 in 4.

Bottom line: Kids are saturating themselves in sexualized media, they don’t understand the consequences, and they’re paying for it big time. All this while parents watch from the sidelines.

You’ve heard me rant about this numerous times and I always like to provide a “take-away,” something parents and youth workers can do about it (talking with your kids, watching media with your kids, establishing boundaries, etc.) This time I’m going to defer to Dr. Stephanie Smith from the APA website in her article, Raising Healthy Kids in a Sexualized Media World. Stephanie draws our attention to the impact of sexualization and links the national legislation on the table. I love her wrap up (here “take-away”) to parents– “tips for helping children manage what they see and hear and make healthy choices” (I want you to hear it from someone else for a change). Here they are in brief.

Stay Engaged
Check in on the shows your kids are watching; listen to the music they listen to; read the magazines they read.

Talk a Lot but Listen More
Instead of dominating the conversation talking about why you think something is right or wrong, let your kids take the lead. I am continually amazed at the insight and maturity many kids have about these topics – we just need to give them the opportunity to tell us!

Be the Teacher
You are still your child’s first and most important teacher and role model.  Even if they don’t seem to be watching or listening to you – DON’T BE FOOLED – they are!

I encourage you to read her thoughts in entirety here.

“Just Let Em’ Watch TV!”

Posted on: 07/19/10 4:31 PM | by Jonathan McKee

It’s amazing how often parents just stand by and watch their kids lose their innocence.

This past weekend on my flight coming back from speaking in Nebraska two elementary-aged kids sat next to me. Their mom sat a couple rows behind and her kids ended up by me– a boy and girl, probably 3rd and 5th grade.

I introduced myself and joked a little about the drawings on the emergency card. They laughed and I asked them questions about flying, “Have you ever flown before?” “Do you like flying?” I wanted them to feel comfortable with me for the flight. After the takeoff, I helped them order their drinks and work the tray tables. They were really polite, sweet little kids.

Soon the little girl pulled down her seat tray, removed a stuffed monkey from her bag and placed him up on the tray, sitting comfortably with his legs crossed and staring back at her with his shiny black little eyes. The boy pulled out a toy dragon and placed it with care on his tray table.

I remember thinking, “How young. How innocent.”

About 30 minutes into the flight, they slid their backpacks from under the seat in front of them and pulled out some magazines. The little boy had a MAD Magazine, the little girl had the newest tween magazine, littered with pictures of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Robert Pattinson and other teen idols.

It was heartbreaking watching this little girl, probably just 8-years-old, looking in awe at pictures of Miley and Kristen, reading little “did you know” facts about their celeb lifestyles. It was upsetting because I saw the innocence slowly being sucked away. Here’s a sweet little kid who probably just learned how to ride her bike. Her favorite companion is a stuffed monkey. And what does our society want to do with these little girls? Grow them up much too fast!

Here little girl… look at this celeb named Miley. Or this one named Britney. Sorry, we can’t show you pics of Lindsey right now… she’s fresh out of rehab and back in jail.

Which ‘Twilight‘ guy do you like better? Robert or Taylor? Here they are with their shirts off. Aren’t they dreamy? Here’s a rapper singing with Justin Beiber. Oooops, don’t download any of this rapper’s music– it’s explicit.

I felt like covering the monkey’s eyes. I’ll protect you Baboo!

After the kids tired of the magazines, they started playing with their toys. It was adorable. “Hey, let’s say that Baboo rides your dragon!” The kids made their toys fly, wrestle each other (the dragon seemed to always prevail against the monkey), and romp off to an assortment of imaginary worlds.

All of a sudden their mother came up to check on them. “Hey, use the earphones and listen to the music or watch the TV show.”

The kids stared back at their mother like, Do we have to?

Mom dug the headphones out of their seat pocket and showed them how to put them on. “Here, watch this show.”

I looked up to see what United was playing for “family” enjoyment. An episode of Two and a Half Men (I kid you not).
The kids reluctantly put on their headphones and stared up at the screen while their mother returned to her seat. After two minutes the kids grew restless. The boy leaned over to his sister, “Let’s play some more.”

The headphones disappeared, Charlie Sheen’s sex jokes were silenced, and within seconds Baboo and the dragon were back to wrestling once again.

If only we could freeze this moment of innocence.

Unfortunately, in just a blink of an eye, middle school will arrive, the monkey and the dragon will probably be shelved, and the iPods of these two cherubs will be full of that day’s Katy Perry, Christina Aguillera and Miley Cyrus. Mom won’t have to encourage TV watching anymore; TV will trump building forts, riding bikes and playing with toys. ABC and MTV will become their teachers, innocence will be totally lost… all under the watch of well-meaning parents.

But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.’  (Ezekiel 33:6)

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6)

Video Game Content

Posted on: 07/10/10 3:52 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Last week, after speaking about youth culture at my home church, a parent came up and asked me about today’s popular video games. He said something I’ve heard hundreds of times. “My son loves video games and I just don’t know which ones are okay and which ones aren’t!”

I’m right there with ya! My son Alec loves video games and we’ve had numerous discussions about video games- which are appropriate and which aren’t.

My quick two cents: Read & Rent!

First… Read about the games. This past week our Youth Culture Window page actually featured an article titled, MOVE OVER MARIO that provided some great insight about today’s popular games and how to help our kids make discerning media decisions. You’ll find some great advice and links in that article. You’ll also find that we’ve written about games in past articles- articles about “screens” in general and even specific games. Always take the time to do a little investigating when little Johnny asks you if he can go to Billy’s house and play a game he says is clean… a game called Grand Theft Auto.  🙂

NEW NOTE: As Adam pointed out in the comments below– my friend Al Menconi has a great website that includes many video game reviews… a great resource for parents: www.AlMenconi.com

Then, if what you read about the game seems okay, then Rent it before buying it. Most Blockbuster Video stores rent all the current games for the major game consoles. And it’s better for you or your kid to spend less than $10 on a game than $60 only to find out, you wouldn’t have allowed the game in the first place.

That’s my two cents!

The New Online Red-Light District

Posted on: 07/3/10 1:25 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Porn sites are about to be given their own domain.

It’s official. People can now by domains that end in .xxx   New York Times reported last week:

The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers on Friday agreed to move forward on a long-standing proposal from a Florida company to create a specialized dot-xxx suffix for adult entertainment Web sites.

People don’t really know how to respond to this. It will be an entire domain devoted to porn.

On one hand, it’s really sad that our world is that obsessed with lust (although historically, this is nothing new… it’s amazing what was going on 2,000 years ago when the Bible was being penned). On the other hand, this could turn into a good thing if all porn was forced to move to that domain. But as the above NY Times article argues, “some of the biggest names in online pornography prefer not to be in that neighborhood.”

CNET News expands on this:

The problem, in other words, is that as soon as .xxx launches, conservatives in Congress will begin to clamor for laws to make the domain mandatory for sex-related Web sites. That may not be a big deal for hard-core pornmeisters who prefer that virtual street address, but what about sex education sites that include explicit graphics and don’t wish to be blocked by filtering software? And where should Salon.com–which features images of topless women–or Playboy.com–which publishes important interviews with U.S. presidents–end up?

Ha, yeah… that’s why people read Playboy. Those really good interviews!!  🙂

I haven’t had time to think about the ramifications yet, but all porn on one domain doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me. It would sure be easy to block!!!

Reviewing the New Twilight Film

Posted on: 07/1/10 2:46 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I went to a movie with my wife on Tuesday night– date night. As we arrived to the movie theatre just before 8PM, we saw a long stream of females lined up along the walls of the theatres… Twilight fans, all waiting for the midnight showing of Twilight’s newest film, Eclipse.

On the way to our theatre (we were going to see The A-Team), we walked passed literally hundreds of these fans sitting in roped off areas, in eager anticipation of the film over four hours away. Not a male in sight! Mostly teenagers, some tweens, and about one in 5 seemed to be moms. Interesting group. I’ve never seen more Twilight t-shirts, tattoos, posters, and yes, even shrines! (Several groups had commandeered a bench and set up a shrine-of-sorts to Patrick and Taylor. Wow. Even Star Wars fans were saying, “These people are freaking weird!”)

A few days ago in my blog discussing the content we can expect in the next few Twilight films, I promised you a review of this new film from our movie reviewer Todd Pearage. Todd (my hero) braved the crowds of Twilight women on opening day to bring you our official review of the film.

Here’s just a snippet of that review:

The biggest problem I have with the movie continues to be the characters and the choices they make. Edward is so “in love” (aka obsessed) with Bella that he seems unable to make any rational decision outside of their relationship. Likewise, Jacob, who is still in love with Bella, refuses to accept the reality that she will never feel that same way towards him even though she has told him many times.  Then there is Bella.  She is willing to sacrifice everything, including her family, her dreams and even her soul, to be with Edward (i.e. become a vampire). It’s the same old thing that we saw in the second film, New Moon (Jonathan and I talked in great detail about these elements in our 2009 annual movie review podcast).

He goes on to say:

Jonathan and I have been discussing this since the first Twilight film. Realistically nothing has changed. I think Jonathan and David’s Youth Culture Window article, “I’m in Love with a Vampire summed up our feelings about the movie then, and ring true for the entire series still. The characters are far from role models. As parents and youth leaders we need to be equipped and ready to discuss these issues with our students.

Todd said it well. Let’s keep dialoguing with our kids about these issues we see popping up in youth culture.

In addition, here’s a great free resource that one of my blog readers Amy linked a few days ago– a great discussion guide you can use with the film.

California Gurls Hottest Song in 17 Years

Posted on: 06/28/10 4:11 PM | by Jonathan McKee

Katy Perry’s #1 song California Gurls just broke a 17-year record for the most plays in one week.

So what is this song about and how do we talk to our kids about its message? Glad you asked.

If you haven’t heard Katy Perry’s song California Gurls featuring Snoop Dog, then maybe you haven’t been outside your house. 🙂 Because if you’ve walked into a Wal Mart, a Target, a Best Buy, or taken your kids to swim practice… anywhere where they’re playing secular music… then you’ve heard the song.

Billboard reports:

A week after reaching the chart’s summit, Katy Perry’s “California Gurls,” featuring Snoop Dogg, rewrites the mark for most weekly plays in the 17-year history of Billboard’s Pop Songs radio airplay chart.

“California Gurls” logged 11,816 plays among the survey’s 132 panelists, an average of 90 plays per station, in the chart’s tracking week of June 21-27, according to Nielsen BDS. The song passes the 11,224 plays tallied by previous record-holder Ke$ha’s “TiK ToK” on the chart dated Feb. 6, 2010.

What is this song about? Watch the music video (with her lying naked face down in a cloud) and you’ll easily discover what Katy Perry’s intention is– I talked about that a little in this blog last week. But one of our ministry’s writers Dave Urbanski goes a little deeper with a brand new piece of curriculum he wrote using this catchy little song to jumpstart a discussion about where we get fulfillment. In this discussion piece, Dave provokes teenagers to ask the sincere question: To what extent have we considered the message this very, very catchy and supremely popular tune is communicating?

I encourage you to take a peek at that free resource for a great discussion, including scripture and discussion questions.

What Twilight Fans Can Expect

Posted on: 06/25/10 10:27 AM | by Jonathan McKee

The Twilight saga is such big news right now that we actually are hearing buzz about the next two films… and I think you’ll want to hear what they just announced about the sex in Breaking Dawn, the next film in the making. But first… the film that comes out Wednesday, June 30th: Eclipse.

Some fans got an early glimpse of the film last Thursday. The word “some” may be misleading, because when you’re talking about the Twilight Saga, “some” means thousands. I would have hated to have been around Nokia Plaza in downtown L.A. last Thursday where 9,000 wristbands were handed out to screaming Twilight fans gathering for the Eclipse premier. What a madhouse. This young generation just can’t get enough Twilight.

Personally, after New Moon, I can’t believe there are any Twilight fans left. But seeing the mindset of most Twilight fans… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

On June 30th, Eclipse hits theatres around the nation. So what can we expect to see with this new film? That’s a good question. Forget speculation– our movie reviewer Todd Pearage will be watching the film and delivering his two cents on our MOVIE REVIEW PAGE opening day Wednesday (it’s now posted here) (you may remember when David, Todd and I saw New Moon on the opening weekend last year and reviewed the film for you).

But it’s not Eclipse, but the following film Breaking Dawn that the news is talking about right now. Because yesterday at the premier, Twilight screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg told People Magazine, “You will see sex- Yes!” She went on. “The relationship (between Edward and Bella) does go all the way in the book, so in the movie it will as well. You are going to see more skin in Breaking Dawn than you did in the other films.”

I guess the sensuality we saw in the first film is going to run its course.

Hmmmmm.

Katy Perry Offended?

Posted on: 06/23/10 3:26 PM | by Jonathan McKee

This is a real treat… Katy Perry was offended by Lady Gaga’s “blasphemy” in Gaga’s new video for her hit song Alejandro.

This is funny on so many levels, I don’t know where to begin.

Hmmmmmm. So the question is, is it worse to be completely promiscuous, or to mock religion while being promiscuous? Because Katy Perry is having no problem tramping it up for audiences… because sex still sells. Katy’s new video for California Gurls is still riding number one on iTunes. In much of this video, Katy is lying naked, face down in a cloud, with only a few inches covered here and there. In the video Katy makes a crude gesture imitating oral sex when she says the line, “melt your popsicle” (just like she did in her live performance at the MTV Movie Awards a couple weekends ago). Katy finally ends the video with whipped cream cans on her breasts, squirting whipped cream.

Katy and her video are both so overtly sexual that iTunes even slapped the small “explicit content” label on the video.

Then we have Gaga’s video Alejandro, currently riding at #4 on iTunes, with over 26 million views on YouTube. Gaga’s video is so… well… it’s so Gaga. It has dancers truly simulating sex throughout the latter half of the video. Let me be clear. I’m not just talking about what Miley did with her Can’t be Tamed video, just “dancing seductively” and “intimately with male and female dancers,” as the news media put it. No, Gaga makes Miley’s video look like a Barney episode. Gaga and her dancers are acting like they’re having sex, every position in the book. But she intermixes these images with shots of herself in a nun costume, eating a rosary, then wearing an upside-down cross on her crotch. I understand why, yes, even Katy Perry was offended.

Unfortunately, Katy’s comments give light to what many of our kids probably believe today:

“Like, you know, when Madonna was on a cross? And sometimes my boyfriend will say things that are ‘eh…,’ she said, referring to fiance Russell Brand. “From where I come from,” (both her parents, who are both pastors) “It’s hard for me to say that, because sometimes I’m a very hypocritical person. Everybody’s like, ‘How do you say that and you kissed a girl?’ And I think sometimes, most of the time, you can disagree or agree, spirituality and sexuality are two separate things, and then when you decide to put them into the same subject, it gets interesting for some people.”

All that from the great theologian, Katy Perry.

I won’t even try to interpret her meaning from that pithy little discourse. But it sounds like for Katy, being overtly sexual is okay… but don’t connect that to your spirituality.

Perhaps she should open her Bible and read a little bit of Paul’s writings, because as much as we might like to separate or compartmentalize our own morality (it’s okay if I sin Saturday night, but it’s time to dress up and go to church on Sunday), when we commit sexual sin, we are joining Christ to a prostitute (I Cor 6:15). Like it or not… that’s joining spirituality and sexuality together.

Sorry Katy… it’s all sin. We can sit around and talk all day about who is on which rung of the ladder, whether Gaga is lower than Katy… but the fact is, no one on the ladder can make it to God without Christ. We all need him. I know I do.