My 13-year-old's Perspective on Selena & Self-Esteem

Posted on: 06/30/11 2:53 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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My 13-year-old Ashley asked me this morning, “Dad, have you seen Selena Gomez’ music video for Who Says?”

I told her that I’d noticed the video in the Top 10 on iTunes, but never had taken time to watch it. Ashley told me, “Dad… it’s got a great message for young girls about self esteem!”

Ashley loves music and is always talking with me about the songs on the charts. (Many have already seen the video we just posted on our YouTube page of Ashley sharing her perspective to you about how parents can help set media guidelines for music in your house). So I took her advice and watched the Selena Gomez video. I was impressed with what Ashley saw, so I asked her, “Why don’t you write down your thoughts for my blog subscribers.”

Ashley did just that. Here’s her unedited “2 cents” about what young girls are learning from Selena Gomez’ video Who Says:

I usually don’t listen to Selena Gomez and don’t really have a lot of her songs on my iPod. But the other day i was on iTunes and i saw her newest album was out. So I clicked on it and saw one of her newer songs. It’s called “Who Says.” I decided to watch the video for it, cause i heard one of my friends at school say that this song was amazing and she loved it so much. I was very surprised when i finished it! This song is a message from Selena to all the insecure girls out there, saying to not worry because we are all beautiful inside and out.

Here are some of the lyrics:

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me…

[Chorus]

Who says
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me
That’s the price of beauty

This song really stuck out to me after I listened to it. And what was even better was the video. It starts showing Selena at a photo shoot all dressed up and wearing really pretty make up. But then she leaves the shoot and walks around the city, the whole time signs in the city are spelling words like “beautiful.” Then, at the end of the video, Selena walks into a bathroom, changes out of her dress into shorts and a shirt, removes her make up, and walks out on the beach with her friends.

I will admit, I didn’t have high expectations for this song and video. But after watching the video and seeing how she wasn’t afraid to take off her make up and be real, my opinion changed. Its like a voice inside of me said “Why don’t you do that ever Ashley?”  I think that its really cool that Selena isn’t afraid to do that (take off her make up). I mean, we always hear about actresses and singers saying for us to not be insecure and stuff, but they never really do anything about it themselves. Seeing Selena do this was awesome!

This song and video really changed the way i think about myself, and it definitely inspired me to be true to myself and not be scared to be me.

I’m really glad that Selena had the guts to do that, and i applaud her for it.

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Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night”

Posted on: 06/14/11 11:59 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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Katy Perry is at it again, and as always, our kids are paying attention.

Katy’s new video for Last Friday Night is already #1 on iTunes and has millions of views on YouTube. This funny but racy video features plenty of popular cameos, drawing viewers of all ages. Like much of Katy’s work, the song and video are really well done, but they are also chock full of subtle lies that our kids are definitely consuming a gallon at a time.

Sadly, most kids will call this video “clean.” It doesn’t have any sex, nudity or cussing.

Clean… right?

The lyrics say it all, opening with the line, “There’s a stranger in my bed.” Unfortunately, the song only digresses:

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well
It’s a black top blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop-op
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again…

The video takes a much more comedic approach, with Katy all geeked out with braces, glasses and a headgear (a creative alter ego named Kathy Beth Terry who she first tried on on Saturday Night Live). Katy wakes up in a house trashed from the party the night before. Rebecca Black (of the hit video Friday) helps give Katy a makeover, and then she’s desirable to all at the party (where she gets drunk, pukes, passes out…) You can check it out for yourself on YouTube.

As the song and video ends, our kids are left with the lyrics… “The Friday night, do it all again.”

The video is going viral, with cameos from Kenny G, Rebecca Black, Corey Feldman, Debbie Gibson, and some of the Glee Cast. An article on Billboard.com informs us that Perry has been “taking her kathy Beth Terry alter-ego to the next level, launching Facebook and Twitter pages for the fictional eighth grader.”

This video won’t be going away anytime soon.

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A Clip of Jonathan Speaking to Parents

Posted on: 06/8/11 10:05 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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For those of you who haven’t had a chance to hear me speak live, here’s a quick clip of me speaking to a group of parents about raising media-saturated kids. There are several different clips from this talk on our YouTube page …you tell me which you like best:

If you don’t see the embedded video above, CLICK HERE TO SEE IT.

In this video I dive into some of the difficulties parents face in a world where their kids are literally saturated with media for over 9 hours a day. Addressing parents specifically, I gave them a taste of research, combined with a little bit of application helping them teach lasting values to young people today (principles I cover in much more depth in my new parenting book).

If you’d like to see the other two videos from this same talk, click below for direct links:

Humorous Inconsistencies in How We Parent

Parenting Morning, Noon, and Night…

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Scotty McCreery or Gaga

Posted on: 05/26/11 9:31 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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The stage featured Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Lil John, Judas Priest… and a humble, church-going teenager from Garner, North Carolina. America’s 10th American Idol winner Scotty McCreery has the opportunity to be a light in a very dark world.

One of Scotty’s youth pastor’s from Garner emailed me earlier this week. “This could not happen to a better young man.” (More from him in a minute)

Who is this kid Scotty?

If you missed it, most of America had their TV sets tuned to American Idol Wednesday night on the Fox Network. But at times, viewers probably wondered if they were watching the racy, no-holds-barred MTV network.

Parents across the world were forced to make a split second decision last night watching Idol as Gaga literally laid down, spread her legs and let one of her dancers climb up on top of her (no need to go further with that description). Just minutes before the announcement of this year’s winner, parents had to decide:
1. Cover our kids eyes?
2. Say nothing and wait for the moment to pass?
3. Fast forward- for those proactive enough to use a DVR for this show.
4. Lift the coffee table over our head and toss it into our 55 inch plasma flat screen.

Unfortunately, the article I wrote earlier this week about American Idol pushing the limits was spot on. (It will be interesting to see if the comments on that article might start changing in tone now that Idol pushed the envelope even further Wednesday night).

Now it’s time for the fallout. Forget about voting with a phone… who will kids across America choose to follow? Idol has provided them with a cornucopia of choices: Scotty McCreery, Lady Gaga, Lauren Alaina, Beyonce, Kirk Franklin, JLo… who will prove to have the biggest voice?

The Vote Isn’t Over
Idol’s season is done, Scotty has been crowned American Idol, and America is rushing to iTunes to vote once again… this time with their wallets.

Once again, we’re going to see the powerful influence of TV on America’s music. (I’ve talked about this before– the phenomena when someone performs on TV and their songs shoot to the top of the charts.– e.g., the Black Eyed Peas had a song at #13 on iTunes the day of the Super Bowl this year, and after they performed, their song was #1). Last night when Gaga performed her song The Edge of Glory on Idol, I quickly popped on iTunes to see where the song sat on the charts. It was #11 at that moment. As of this morning, it’s already #6 (I predict it to keep rising). On a positive note, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina’s songs skyrocketed to #1 (Scotty) and #3 (Lauren) as of this morning.

It will be interesting to see who America chooses to follow.

Scotty has his work cut out for him if he hopes to become a role model for our nation, because right now America has their sites set on Lady Gaga. Many of you saw my tweet last week, Forbes Magazine just announced Lady Gaga as the #1 most powerful person in the entertainment business, topping Oprah in their list of the 100 most influential celebs. The world is showing up in masses to listen to the woman who claims that God sent her the lyrics, “I’m still in love with Judas.”

But a small, humble voice from Garner, North Carolina has spoken. In a world that lifts Gaga on a pedestal, a church-going teen has been voted “American Idol.” Will the innocent message of a young country boy be heard over the overwhelming shout of current celebritydom? (Did I just make up a word?)

Scotty
I received an email this week from one of Scotty’s youth pastors from his church. He read my article about American Idol and wanted to let me know a little more about Scotty. This video from his local TV station shows Scotty in concert in Garner, NC, performing and even talking about his faith (for example, listen at about 8 minutes 10 seconds).

Scotty’s youth pastor wrote:

Hey Jonathan.

Thanks for all the free stuff, encouragement, etc. Here is something that may actually make you smile. I agree with you about the junk that they show on American Idol. I am proud of Scotty and Lauren and want to tell you that when they showed the Lady Gaga performance and the Beyonce performance, at the viewing parties that took place at Scotty’s high school, Scotty McCreery’s fellow Blue Crew actually turned their backs to the screen during both. Many of these guys are not Christians but I believe they are following Scotty’s example and lead. When they did this, the adults present cheered them on in support.

I have known Scotty since he was born and I am proud of what he stands for. I was his middle school minister. He provided us a little testimony and we made a tract with it and passed out about 8,000 of them at his homecoming, May 14th. Been some cool stories that has come from that.

The Scotty you have seen is the real thing. Just a good boy. Not perfect, but he has lived out his testimony on a consistent basis. This could not happen to a better young man.

On that WRAL video you will see that he spent most of the day crying. He was overwhelmed with the support he received when he came home. he really misses home and friends.

He is very humble. You also may have heard that they did a coin toss between him and Lauren to pick when they would sing this week. It is always believed it is better to sing second. Scotty won the coin toss but let Lauren choose singing order and she chose second. He’s just a good boy.

The day of his concert they were calling for rain/storms all day that day the whole week leading up to it. It didn’t rain a drop but watching the weather when we got home later that night, storms were all around us but never on the event. I believe he is being honored for bringing glory to the One that deserves the honor.

Thanks and God bless you and your ministry!

It was a nice moment last night when Scotty won and chose to give honor to the Lord.

Who does your household follow?

Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

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Is There Any Decent Christian Music?

Posted on: 05/24/11 1:10 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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I’ll be honest… I haven’t always been a fan of Christian music as a whole.

Don’t hate me. I just like good music, and the selection of quality Christian artists hasn’t always been abundant. I’ve found several good ones, but I’m always on the lookout for more. Let’s just say- it’s been quite an adventure trying to find stuff my family likes.

I’m not alone.

Parents always ask me, “Can you please suggest some decent Christian music that my kids will actually like?” A good example of this was a few weeks ago when my daughter Ashley and I spoke at a local church about parenting and making “Biblical media decisions.” Ashley shared a little insight into the music we listen to in our home, and the guidelines we’ve set for downloading music. You see, we allow secular music in our home as long as it isn’t against Biblical principles. So my kids will come up to me and ask me, “Dad, can I download this album from The Fray or this song from Bruno Mars?” We always end up having a good discussion about music content (I spend a whole chapter in my parenting book talking about this, there’s an excerpt of that chapter, “Dad, Can I Download This Song?, here).

In our talk, Ashley and I shared how we start off the first hour of our day and end the last hour of our day in our house with worship music (an idea that I heard my buddy Al Menconi share years ago in his parent seminars). We don’t think there’s anything wrong with secular music, but I’ve personally noticed a difference in attitude and behavior from my kids when they start and end their day with Crowder’s “How He Loves Me” rather than “Row, row, row your boat.” (A very clean secular song, mind you.)

After Ashley and I spoke, a parent in the audience talked with us and asked me something like this:

“My kids all listen to secular stuff, but we want to listen to some Christian stuff. I’ve tried to get them to listen to the Christian radio with me, but they don’t like much of it. Is there any good Christian music?”

After exchanging emails, I answered her with the following, providing my two cents on “good Christian music.” Check out my list, and then use the comment feature in this blog to chime in with your two cents. I wanna hear what Christian music you like:

CHRISTIAN MUSIC MY FAMILY LIKES

 

RAP:
A guy named Lecrae– songs like FAR AWAY, JESUS MUZIK (these are about the closest you’ll find to good Christian rap that’s mainstream. There are a couple other hardcore rap Christian guys like Tedashii… but that’s not really a sound like the typical popular LIL WAYNE or 50 CENT. Lecrae is probably the best.
A group called Grits– their song OOH AHH and FLY AWAY recently are pretty good.
RAP/POP:
Toby Mac– Let me explain. At first, some new Christians might initially think that Toby is a white boy wangsta. I think that’s a little harsh. I’ve found that when I play his songs for a while, kids (even unchurched kids)  will like several of his songs- he has some good hits. My kids grew to like his songs like CITY ON OUR KNEES, BREAK OPEN THE SKY (reggae), and most the songs from his album PORTABLE SOUNDS, songs like LOSE MY SOUL, ONE WORLD, etc.
Group 1 Crew have been compared to Black Eyed Peas- I wouldn’t go that far. But I like their song PLEASE DON’T LET ME GO.
A guy named Mat Kearney who does a nice blend of guitar and a little white boy rap- songs like UNDENIABLE, NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, CRASHING DOWN, GIRL AMERICA

 

POP/ROCK:
Flyleaf has a good song ALL AROUND ME
Switchfoot is awesome- a more pop/grunge sound. Songs like YOUR LOVE IS A SONG, DARE YOU TO MOVE, THIS IS HOME, THE BEAUTIFUL LETDOWN….

 

Some kids like some of the harder rock sounds coming from Christian bands like Skillet (I like their song COMATOSE), Red (I like their song BREATHE INTO ME) or Thousand Foot Krutch (their song FALLS APART). Personally, I’m not really into music this hard (I only like one or two songs from each of these bands). And frankly, the majority of mainstream kids aren’t into this genre either (read my words carefully, I said “the majority” of kids, that doesn’t mean “no kids.” Some really like this genre). Unfortunately, most Christian concerts are primarily bands like these. No offense to these bands, but it would be nice to see some of the other genres emerge into Christian circles.

 

WORSHIP:
David Crowder is awesome at worship music that actually sounds good. His songs HOW HE LOVES, EVERYTHING GLORIOUS, SMS (Shine), THE GLORY OF IT ALL…  I love these guys! (that’s why this announcement was hard to hear!)
Anything from Chris Tomlin, especially I WILL FOLLOW, INDESCRIBABLE, HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD, HOLY IS THE LORD
Your turn. What Christian music would you play for kids that aren’t used to Christian music?

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American Idol Too Racy?

Posted on: 05/23/11 1:34 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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American Idol will most likely be viewed in more homes than any other show this week with its highly anticipated season finale both Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

Historically this show has been deemed a show acceptable for the entire family, but recently some of the guest stars have been pushing the envelope with racy wardrobe and dancing. What are parents to do when Beyonce or Gaga reveal a little too much? How much is too much?

These are the questions I asked in this week’s timely Youth Culture Window article, American Idol the Family Show? How Much is Too Much? Here’s just a snippet of that article:

My family watches a few shows together each week, one being American Idol. But episodes like the ones we’ve seen the last few weeks have made media discernment a little more difficult.

A few nights ago we witnessed some heartfelt moments on the show as we watched “the top three” go back to their hometowns for a welcome that even brought a security guard to tears. This year’s top contestants, particularly the top two, Scotty and Lauren, are proving to be pretty wholesome kids (emphasis on “kids” –these two are the youngest final two in Idol history).

Cut to a commercial… and 5 minutes later the Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Scherzinger is strutting around half-dressed, literally singing about being dirty while rapper 50 Cent is trying to grind up against her.

Did someone switch the channel?

This seems to be the template for most the shows of recent…

CLICK HERE FOR THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

What do you think? Where do parents need to draw the line? Post your comments on the bottom of that YCW article or here in my blog?

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Something Clean in the Top 10

Posted on: 05/20/11 3:08 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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This week I’ve had my eye on the music charts as I was studying youth culture for my CONNECT WORKSHOP I’ll be teaching this Saturday in PA.

Most of what I saw in the charts was typical: racy lyrics and overly sexualized music videos. But then a small exception popped onto the charts like ‘Hope’ rising out of the bottom of Pandora’s box. Chris Tomlin’s video for “I Lift My Hands” has been in the iTunes Top 10 most of the week. I saw it in the number 4 spot Tuesday, and it’s at #9 as I write this (Friday afternoon).

Funny, as I sit and look at the list of the iTunes top 10 videos right now, there are only two videos that aren’t crude or raunchy in some way. In the top 10 songs, only one or two (depending on where you draw the line).

So… a big relief to see people downloading something pure.

Kudos to Tomlin!

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The Intersection of TV and Music

Posted on: 05/13/11 11:25 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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It’s always interesting to see what songs kids are listening to, and what TV they’re watching. But sometimes it’s even more intriguing to see the intersection of the two.

This week on American Idol (most recently the second most watched show on TV on any given week), Lady Gaga came on as the “mentor” to the top four (which actually created some pretty funny moments with Scotty, the church-going country boy who ended up kissing his cross necklace a few times after interacting with Gaga). Then Enrique Eglesias came on and sang his song, Dirty Dancer.

The question is, does this TV exposure boost these artists’ popularity? Do kids actually buy their music after seeing them perform on Idol?

The answer is a big “yes.” Take a look at one of the best indicators- iTunes. iTunes always provides a minute by minute glance at what people are buying. Look at iTunes right now:  (which will probably change a bit even if you were to pop on right now)

Adele is still #1 with Rolling in the Deep, and Gaga sits in second with her song The Edge of Glory.

But notice #4. Enrique’s Dirty Dancer is quickly rising ever since his performance on Idol.

But Idol isn’t the only TV kids are watching. On the same network (Fox), Glee continues to draw a young audience, who every week rushes to iTunes to buy their newest songs. Take a peek for yourself. As of this moment, Glee songs take the 8th and 10th slots on the iTunes charts.

iTunes isn’t the only place kids download music. That’s why Neilson’s numbers give us a good look at the top songs that kids are buying over all. Here’s this week’s chart:

(a lot of similarities to the iTunes chart, huh?)

As parents and youth workers, when it comes to our kids, I encourage you to occasionally “take a look at their many idols” (Acts 17) and familiarize yourself with them. Simply check the charts, then quickly Google the lyrics and peek for yourselves what these kids are simmering in for an average of over 2 and a half hours per day. (More on exploring the effects of media on our kids here)

Then… like the Paul did in Acts 17… respond by reasoning with them in healthy dialogue, and steering those conversations toward the Gospel.

We try to help you do this with free resources on our parent and youth worker web sites like our MUSIC DISCUSSIONS page and MOVIE REVIEWS & QUICK Q’s. Use these resources to steer toward the Gospel day to day!

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Our 2 Cents on Thor and More…

Posted on: 05/11/11 2:21 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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This summer’s movie lineup is packed with films that will be drawing our teenagers to the theatre, and believe it or not… a lot of them look pretty clean.

David wrote an entire Youth Culture Window article (on the front page of our site now) giving you a glimpse of many of the May and June releases like Thor, Pirates3, Kung Fu Panda 2, Hangover 2, etc. (as you can see, some good, some bad). Part II of the article will be posted next week.

Todd and I already posted our “2 Cents” of the first film on the list, in our review of Thor, on our MOVIE REVIEWS & QUICK Q’s page right now. Here’s a snippet:

TODD’S WORD: I know it’s only May, but with the release of Thor, the summer movie season has officially begun, and once again it’s a Super Hero movie that is taking control of the box office.

JONATHAN’S WORD: Yeah, not a bad start. Thor was fun. It wasn’t anything I’d rush out to the theatre to see… but it was fun.

TODD’S WORD: Since 2000 Marvel Studios has released 24 films and two more coming out this summer (X-men: First Class and Captain America). No one can argue that they have had a few duds (Ghost Rider, Dare Devil and Elektra), but for the most part they have given us one huge summer blockbuster after another (Ironman, X-men, Spiderman and the Fantastic Four). No doubt about it, comic book heroes are box office gold, especially when you include DC Studios (Batman and Superman).

JONATHAN’S WORD: It’s an interesting genre. They’ve had some really great ones (The Spiderman films, the Ironman films), and, yes, a few duds. For me, Thor was a lot more like Fantastic Four. Just okay. I felt like it could have been so much more. It was hit and miss for me.

TODD’S WORD: Well, let’s break it down…

Click here for the rest of that review and its QUICK Q’s.

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Three Buttons Every Parent Should Use

Posted on: 05/9/11 11:36 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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This past weekend, on Mother’s Day, I spoke in all three services at a local church on the topic of parenting media saturated kids.

I decided to let my 13-year-old Ashley speak with me because I was talking specifically about teaching our kids lasting values, and I wanted to give them a glimpse of what that actually looks like. So Ashley shared candidly about what it’s like being a Christian kid living in a secular world that saturates teenagers with raunchy media. She talked openly about songs she likes, and how “racy songs” can be alluring to kids her age- especially when she hears them all day at school, sports, etc.

Ashley closed by encouraging these parents not to just try to be the “cool” parent that says yes to everything… instead, be the caring parent that cares enough to say “no, this doesn’t belong in our house.”

The audience really liked hearing from her (she did a great job). Then I chimed in and gave some application of what it looks like to build values into our kids “as we get up, as we walk along the road, as we go to bed…” Fun stuff.

This month, “More to Life” Magazine has posted and article I wrote for them on their MY HOME section of the web site, an article titled, “Three Buttons Every Parent Should Use.” This article gives a glimpse of some of what Ashley and I shared on Mother’s Day. Here’s just a peek:

Today’s parents often wonder if they’re truly making a difference in the lives of their kids, or if they should just throw in the towel. I assure you, don’t give up. Research unanimously reveals that parents who care enough to spend time with their kids and help their kids make good choices are the parents who become the number one influence in their kids’ lives. (I cite numerous examples of this research in my book, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent).

Many parents might not be so quick to throw up their hands and quit if they were just given a few tools to help them navigate this intimidating arena of 21st century parenting. In a world of Facebook, iPods and MTV, how can we connect with our media-saturated teens and tweens?

I’ve found it extremely helpful to use three buttons…

CLICK HERE FOR THE ENTIRE ARTICLE.

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