PG Porn

Last week as I prepped to talk with parents about their kids’ phones, I browsed through the music video charts and noticed some interesting trends, especially from some of the “child actresses” our daughters grew up recently watching on TV—Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. Their two music videos at the top of the charts are what I call PG Porn—extremely sensual visuals, with scantily clad girls writhing in pleasure… but with no official nudity driving the rating up. It’s the kind of video that drives a junior high boy to either click on something more severe… or to take a cold shower.

And what are these videos teaching our daughters?

Take Demi’s music video, Cool for the Summer, a song we wrote a Youth Culture Window article about a few weeks back. Demi is dressed like J-Lo and singing lyrics like Katy Perry.

As if the visuals weren’t enough, the lyrics say it all:

Tell me what you want, what you like
It’s okay I’m a little curious too
Tell me if it’s wrong if it’s right, I don’t care
I can keep a secret could you?

Got my mind on your body and your body on my mind
Got a taste for the cherry I just need to take a bite
Don’t tell your mother kiss one another…

But Demi’s visuals might just be outdone by Selena’s Good for You, a music video where Selena is either writhing sexually on the couch, in the shower, or on the floor… singing about how much she hopes to look good for some guy.

Hmmmm… what are our daughters learning from this?

Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight
Do my hair up real, real nice
And syncopate my skin to your heart beating

‘Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you, uh-huh
I just wanna look good for you, good for you, uh-huh
Let me show you how proud I am to be yours
Leave this dress a mess on the floor…

Or let me ask it this way. Do you think today’s young girls can resonate with the desire to want to look good for someone? What conclusions will they glean from this video?

These videos only perpetuate the rampant sexualization our girls are being inundated with daily by entertainment media. Sexualization is a term the APA coined in their report of the same title, defining it as:

When a person’s value comes only from her/his sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, and when a person is sexually objectified, e.g., made into a thing for another’s sexual use.

That pretty well sums up these videos, dontchathink?

So how should parents and caring adult mentors respond?

The key: Don’t freak out.

I know this from first hand experience, failing in this area as a parent countless times. Freaking out just assures our kids that we are not safe to talk about subjects like this.

So don’t give into the temptation to shift in to tirade mode and begin lecturing about “the filth in entertainment media.” Instead… ask questions.

Try these:

1. What do you think Demi means by, Tell me if it’s wrong if it’s right, I don’t care?
2. Why is this song called “Cool for the Summer?” Why just the summer?
3. If Demi and other girls try this for a summer, how do you think it will work out for them? What’s next?
4. What is Selena going to do to “show you how proud I am to be yours”? (wear that dress you like skin tight… leave this dress a mess on the floor)
5. How’s do you think that’s going to work out for her? What’s next?
6. How do you think guys will react watching this video?
7. What does scripture say about this? (1 John 2:15-17)

Are you having these conversations?

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