Sexuality Archives - Page 25 of 28 - Jonathan's Blog From The Source

“Gossip Girl” Pushing the Limits

Posted on: 07/31/08 2:25 PM | by Jonathan McKee

If you’ve seen even a few minutes of the TV show Gossip Girl, you probably wouldn’t let your teenagers watch it. (Heck, if you knew what the “textspeak” slang in the ad to the right meant… you wouldn’t let your kids watch it.)

Today’s Reuters article,about the hit teenage show (“Sex and the City” for teens? Critics slam “Gossip Girl”) summarizes it well.

“Their wardrobes are full of designer clothes, they drink cocktails at New York City’s coolest bars, dabble in drugs, have sex in places like the back of a limousine — all while still in high school.”

Now even some of the actors are verbalizing their surprise about the racy content.

Blake Lively, 20, who plays character Serena van der Woodsen, says even she is surprised by plot lines of the show. “Everybody is dating everyone and sleeping with everyone and there’s lots of scandalous stuff happening in the Upper East Side,” she told a news conference. “Even I am shocked; I’m expecting my sister, that I don’t have, to be my father.”

And where are the parents of the literally millions of kids that watch this show?

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The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Posted on: 07/14/08 6:56 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I always like to keep my eye on what teenagers are watching. And right now the show creating the most buzz is “The Secret Life of the American Teenager.”

Yesterday I just saw a poster (with the image to the right) for the show all over the mall by my Virginia hotel. The timing can’t be better for this “Juno-esque” marketed program hitting the ABC Family channel. It’s launch was a raging success. Media-Life Magazine detailed its success:

ABC Family’s “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” Tuesday 8 p.m. The series premiere averaged 2.8 million total viewers, making it the most-watched original series premiere in network history. It was also the highest-rated original series telecast in network history in households, adults 18-34, 18-49s and 12-34s.

Curious about the content of the show? Check out our own David R. Smith’s incitefull new Youth Culture Window article giving us a glimpse into the porthole of this “Secret Life…”

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Not Ashamed of a One Night Stand

Posted on: 06/30/08 1:42 PM | by Jonathan McKee

I guess energy drinks will try anything to market their product.

Not much to be said here… I’ll just quote the ad word for word:

“When you wake up ‘the morning after’ in a strange place, don’t be ashamed. Jump start your body and mind with the electrolytes and B-Vitamins in AMP Energy Relaunch…”

Wow.

The racy video ad (warning, even though this ad has no nudity, it’s definitely raunchy) with it’s catchy tune and downloadable lyrics has gone viral. MarketingProfs.com calls it how they see it:

By creating a funny, viral-worthy campaign to which most of us can relate, AMP has delivered a nifty piece of Marketing Inspiration.

With success of these kind of campaigns… you can bet we’ll be seeing more of them.

Sigh.

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A Virtual “Pick Up Joint” for Teens

Posted on: 06/28/08 8:45 PM | by Jonathan McKee

A 13-year-old can’t go “clubbing” on Friday night… right?

Maybe a decade ago. But now, the sky’s the limit. Actually… there are very few limits at IMVU.com

Parents… brace yourselves.

I didn’t know much about this web site that provides a venue for 3-D chatting, virtual making out, and prancing around in skimpy clothes that Mommy and Daddy probably wouldn’t approve. I’d seen the ads for the site before, but never visited it.

After reading that IMVU has grown to 20 million users (the majority of which are teenagers), I figured it was time to check it out. Within three minutes of browsing the site, I knew we needed to write a Youth Culture Window on the subject. So that’s what we did. I had David investigate the site thoroughly and write up the article.

This past week David and I both have dove into this virtual world to “gave her a spin.” We were amazed with what we saw and experienced. Kids mingling with adults in ways so taboo… I can’t believe Dateline isn’t on the scene. In this 3-D pick up world, authenticity is nothing, looks are everything, and morals are nowhere to be found.

You’ll want to definitely read David’s full article here.

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Finally Some Good News About Virginity Pledges

Posted on: 06/19/08 9:20 AM | by Jonathan McKee

If you follow the news and the media, you know that when you hear the words “abstinence education” or “virginity pledges” … most likely they are followed with reports of how ineffective they are.

Last week we heard a different story.

Reuters reported about a Rand Corporation study that shows virginity pledges to actually be slightly helpful.

Taking a pledge to remain a virgin until married may help some teens and young adults in delaying the start of sexual activity, U.S. researchers reported on Tuesday.

A study by the Rand Corporation research institute found that 34 percent of youths who took such pledges as teens had had sexual intercourse within three years compared to 42 percent of similar teens who did not make virginity pledges.

The Rand team said they had taken into account differences such as religious beliefs, parenting and friendship characteristics.

If some of you are wondering why we should be excited about a pledge that is only 1/3 effective… I understand your confusion (and frustration). But realize… most reports up to this point have mocked such pledges, concluding that those that take virginity pledges are actually more likely to engage in oral sex, and are more likely to get pregnant (I talked about this before in previous blogs).

But this Rand study (and a recent Alan Guttmacher study) show different.

Some researchers had speculated that teens might substitute other sexual activities such as oral sex for intercourse.

But the Rand study found that those who pledged were no more likely to engage in sexual behaviors that fall short of full intercourse than other comparable youth — findings that fit in with a study by the non-profit Alan Guttmacher Institute in New York last month.

Again… I’m not jumping for joy. If you read what I just read, it says that these kids are “no more likely” than other comparable youth. That just means that those who take these pledges aren’t MORE likely to go to third base since they pledged to not “hit a home run.” Unfortunately they seem to be just as likely to engage in these activities as those who didn’t take the pledges.

But it’s nice to see some data that these pledges aren’t “harmful.” This is the first report I’ve seen in a while that actually showed them to be slightly helpful.

The Reuters article even went on to say…

“Waiting until you are older to have sex is good for teens from a health standpoint,” Martino said in a statement. “There are lots of reasons for more kids to wait until they are older.”

Wow. It’s nice to hear some good new every once in a while.

(thanks to YPulse.com for the article)

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Heated Responses to my “Kissed a Girl” Blog

Posted on: 06/11/08 9:16 AM | by Jonathan McKee

Most of you have already read my blog about Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl.” (The song is now #5 on Billboard’s chart and #2 on iTunes.) Apparently the blog is making it’s rounds in different camps right now… because the responses are starting to pour in.

The song obviously is typical of today’s casual mindset about “doing what feels right at the moment.” But that’s not what people are reacting to (surprise, surprise). People are reacting, as always, to the homosexuality issue.

First of all, we’ve already covered this issue in this blog (and the articles we’ve linked from that blog). But people love to react on both sides. I’ve received some emails from Christians getting all frothy and hateful, making sure to remind me that homosexuality is a sin. (Yeah… duh. So is bitterness! Look in the mirror folks.) Hence my call to react in compassion.

Anyway… on the opposite spectrum we’ve got people upset that I did say it’s a sin.

I encourage you all to read the responses to that blog. I believe that reading responses from others can be a good teaching moment about other people’s beliefs and attitudes.

Pop quiz- what can we learn about this person from this excerpt of their comment? (emphasis mine)

I don’t understand why this is so upsetting. People should be free to make their own choices in life. If someone decides to be lesbian that is their choice ( I heard somewhere that it is genetic, so they can’t pick and choose they have to come to terms with it ), they still remain human and still need love and support from community and family. I like the song. It has a nice beat and is easy to dance to, this doesn’t make me lesbian, and it doesn’t make me want to be lesbian(I doubt a song could anyway).

And for you zealous ‘radical’ Christians, I think that god doesn’t consider being bi-sexual a sin….

Here’s a couple quick observations.

This person’s comment is based on “feeling,” not fact. Notice the language: “I think that…” Today’s culture doesn’t care a lot about truth… it’s all about what “works for me.” What “feels right.” It’s not uncommon to hear people say, “I think that God probably doesn’t mind when we…” Which leads me to my second observation…
The Bible isn’t an authority to many. As believers, we quote scripture to back up our beliefs. That’s not a convincing source to the majority. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in scripture as authority and will continue to quote it. But we need to understand our audience and know that, for many, scripture means nothing.
Much like my first observation… this person’s comment is not only based on feeling, it’s completely without any research. Their source material is, “I heard somewhere…” Wow… I’d hate to base my “feelings” and beliefs on, “I heard somewhere.” This is very typical of today’s young generation. In my workshops love to show an example from a newspaper article where a bunch of kids were busted for intentionally farting in class. The press got involved and the kids were interviewed. It’s hilarious. The kids reported, “It’s a natural occurrence, and we all do it 16 times a day.” But this is my favorite part of the article:

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn’t remember where they heard it.

I love that part. They all said it was true, but they couldn’t remember where they heard it. Sound familiar?

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Abstinence-only Haters

Posted on: 06/7/08 8:50 AM | by Jonathan McKee

If you own a TV or watch media of any kind, it’s no surprise to you that much of the world (and most of the media out there) hates the idea of Abstinence-only, and DESPISES Abstinence-only education.

I stumbled across a feminist web site today that expresses some pretty deep resentment against abstinence-only education. A glimpse at this page provided a good perspective of some of the world’s thinking. The page mocked a video (made by abstinence-only believers) that showed people transferring a piece of duct tape from place to place. The video argued that two pieces of duct tape stick together forever, but one piece, transported from place to place, loses it’s effectiveness with each transfer.

And WOW… did this web site rip on this video. Here’s their post titled, “My vagina is, in fact, not made of duct tape” (I edited a bit of the language)

Okay, I’m well aware that this “PSA” was probably made for some class project, but I really think it shows how frigging bizarre (and dangerous) abstinence-only classes are. I mean, f***ing duct tape? I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that of the many places the slutty piece of tape gets stuck, a garbage can is shown multiple times. (Just in case you didn’t get the sex-is-dirty message clearly enough.) After all, there’s nothing worse than trashy, whorey, adhesives.

The first comment was what really hit me:

Is anyone else totally creeped out by the idea of being “stuck together forever” with someone else? Ugh.

Wow.

You can click here if you want to read the whole thing. (Warning… this web site has bad language.)

I’ll be the first to admit that it is very difficult to draw black and white lines in a “grey” world. We spent a week discussing some of the difficulties with trying to teach God’s design for sex in a world that embraces “Do what feels right at the moment.” I understand the lure of temptation. I can relate to the struggle of sin. But, WOW! I literally mourn for a world that gets “creeped out” by the idea of being with someone for the rest of their lives.

I’m going on year 17 with my wife and each year just gets better and better.

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The Top of the Charts… Not a Pretty Sight

Posted on: 06/6/08 8:54 AM | by Jonathan McKee

You can learn a lot about youth culture from pop culture… that’s why I try to keep my eye on the music charts and what kids are listening to.

This week the Coldplay is making a move up the charts… a refreshing change, I must say. No bias at all, I’m just growing tired of the insult to our intelligence that has been riding the number one slot for months now. I’m referring to the number one song “Lollipop.” If you aren’t familiar with this song, I encourage you to take a quick peek at the lyrics. All I can say is… Wow! (I don’t know… he looks like a nice fella from his pic, don’t you think?)

So you can see why I’m cheering for Coldplay.

Other songs in chart news were Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” also soaring up the charts. I blogged about this song a lil bit ago. Enough said.

Also holding on, Usher’s “Love in the Club,” … aka “Let’s Make Love in the Club.” This song is an ironic piece. Usher’s new album is supposed to be about fidelity and matrimony now that Usher is married and settled down. His album tells his life story, and “Love in the Club” is about a time in his live when he was clubbing every night and taking women home with him. But he says that he’s different now. His album tells the story. Sorry Usher… most kids are missing that message. They’re too busy “Making Love in the Club” to your song! (you’ll hear more about this soon on our Youth Culture Window)

I admit… music wasn’t great when I was 16. But let’s just say…this chart below is a little different picture than today’s:

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She Kissed a Girl and Liked It

Posted on: 05/27/08 8:51 AM | by Jonathan McKee

I’m a regular visitor of the music charts to see what kids are listening to. Today, #3 on iTunes was a song titled “I Kissed a Girl.” No big deal… right?

Well, the song was song by female singer Katy Perry. Here’s the chorus:

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

I know that the homosexual issue is a touchy one for many people. If you want to read about my stand on the issue, I blogged about it in detail here and link numerous articles on the subject. But in short, I think we as a church need to love homosexuals and embrace them as we do anyone else. At the same time, I think homosexual activity is wrong and leads to hurt.

This song isn’t so much about homosexual activity as it is just “doing what feels good at the moment.” Just like current hit songs “Lollipop” or “Love in the Club,” this song preaches, “follow your gut in the moment.” Another misleading message for our kids.

Singer Katy Perry first emerged on the scene last fall with her her ‘explicit’ EP “Ur So Gay.” Her new song “I Kissed a Girl” is only three weeks on the charts and is already #3 on iTunes, and #29 on Billboard’s Pop 100 Airplay chart.

According to a brief bio on Billboard.com, this young singer grew up in a Christian home the daughter of two pastors and “as a teenager she found herself captivated by Queen vocalist Freddie Mercury and also Alanis Morissette.” Really?

Keep your eye on this song… I only see it becoming more popular.

Here’s the entire lyrics.

Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl lyrics

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It’s not what, I’m used to
Just wanna try you on
I’m curious for you
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don’t even know your name
It doesn’t matter
Your my experimental game
Just human nature
It’s not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain’t no big deal, it’s innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

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Struggling With Juno

Posted on: 05/14/08 6:33 AM | by Jonathan McKee

The movie Juno, which only this week was bumped from the number two spot in DVD rentals, has been at the top of the rental charts since its release on April 15th . Kids love it.

I, however, am a little torn.

If you work with youth or have kids, you’ve probably already heard about this film about a young girl that gets pregnant and decides to keep the child and put it up for adoption (I mentioned this film in a previous blog about the surprising number of secular films this year with pro-life themes). Kids love Juno and critics are raving about it. I’ve even heard the youth ministry community praising it. And I can see why youth workers enjoy the movie– it’s an authentic look at youth culture today. But I have to admit, I struggled with this film.

Here were my thoughts that I recently added to our ministry’s movie review page:

JUNO FILM REVIEW
This film had me torn from the beginning.

If you’re like me, you went into this film hearing all the hype about what a wonderful film this is, Oscar potential, blah, blah, blah. (Besides… do the words “Oscar potential” mean anything to you? Did you actually see There Will Be Blood? Zzzzzzzzzz) Everyone is recommending Juno. So I admit… I had high expectations going into it.

To summarize my thoughts I’ll have to resort to bullets for this one.

THE GOOD:

Ellen Page was really a likable character, warts and all. She reminded me of several of my Campus Life kids from back in the day.
Jennifer Garner was surprisingly good. She wasn’t the typical “Alias” eye candy… she did some real acting here.
Like so many films this year, the value of life was communicated… even if in an awkward way.
The characters were very real. Very 2007. Not just a bunch of “actor models” who got the roles… but real people. Very convincing.

THE BAD:

I had heard that this was a good film for teenagers. In one of the first scenes we see a shot of a girl’s legs as her panties are dropped to the floor. Then she climbs on top of a guy. Yes, they didn’t show nudity. Yes, I know that’s what the film was about (a girl getting pregnant). But guess what… I don’t want my kids seeing the action- even just the beginning of it.
Juno was a fun character, but she was really foul. I have loved plenty of kids like this in my ministry and still do. But in this film, she was almost a role model. Her bad decisions, her lack of tact, and her foul mouth were almost given a stamp of approval. I realize that this is a hard balance to find. I love kids like this. But it doesn’t mean that I want kids to grow up thinking that it is “okay” to grow up acting like that.
The film showed very little consequences of behavior. The film was fun and light, and I think those elements made the movie enjoyable. But the film didn’t seem to show any of the pain or consequences from the behaviors. Sure, Juno got pregnant. But it was treated like, “no big deal.”
Similar to the last two bullets, this film contained a lot of immitatable behavior. And being that this is currently the MOST popular rental of the year… wow!

SHOULD KIDS SEE IT?
I think that most kids shouldn’t see it. I might show my older teenagers this film when they are 16 or older (depending on their maturity) if we went to dinner and talked about the film afterwards. I would need to talk through the bullets highlighted above.

But there is no way I’d show this to junior higher or younger. Come on people– how fast do we want our kids to grow up? Yes, I’m a huge advocate of talking with our kids about real life. But we don’t need to shove it down their throats early. Let it come as it comes. And then be open for those conversations.

Thoughts?

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