A Peek into Youth Culture… and a New Free Resource

Posted on: 11/15/11 1:45 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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As I’m putting the finishing touches on several workshops I’m teaching this weekend (in two different cities), I’m starting to notice one common denominator in every session: understanding youth culture. I’m even teaching one workshop titled, Youth Culture Window.

Let me go on record to clear up any confusion: understanding youth culture is not the most important practice in parenting and youth ministry… but connecting with our teenagers is! And you’ll find that understanding the world of teenagers is a key step to connecting with teenagers.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from teenagers today is, “Adults have no clue what it’s like to be a teenager today.”

And they’re right.

So what should we do? Should we buy all our clothes at Abercrombie or Hollister and try to talk in the most current slang?

Not even close.

Should we download all the latest Lil Wayne and Lady Gaga songs and listen to them day and night?

Please don’t.

We don’t have to start watching Jersey Shore to get current. But we do need to seek to understand the world our teenagers live in. The experts are quite clear on the matter. After the researchers from the Kaiser Foundation completed their huge media survey examining the media habits of young people, they pleaded that parents pay full attention to something that takes up this much time in the lives of young people. The Pediatrics official journal, in their 2009 report on Music, Lyrics and Music Videos, concluded that parents, often unaware of lyrics, etc., should become media literate, setting boundaries and even taking a stand regarding music lyrics. In my parent workshops I plead with parents to do the same. I even talk about how current popular songs might serve as springboards for discussion.

Do you know what your kids are watching and listening to?

A NEW FREE RESOURCE
Adults need to put forth a little bit of effort into entering the world of youth culture. That’s why I just added yet another resource to help you do that on our www.TheSource4Parents.com site this week—an “Offsite Articles” window that provides parents with links to the articles I’m reading throughout the week.

For years I’ve been constantly trying to keep parents and youth workers updated with the latest research, trends and media messages that young people are absorbing through every pore. Our Youth Culture Window articles, like this week’s article, Social Media Mania are a great source for these updates. This blog is another. And now, as of this past weekend, my web guy posted something we brainstormed months ago—a way of sharing my research with you.

Check it out for yourselves, it’s yet another reason that parents and youth workers will want to frequent www.TheSource4Parents.com.  On any given day you’ll be able to peek at this new “Offsite Articles Jonathan Has Read This Week” box on our front page and see if any of the subjects grab your interest. The box displays the 7 most recent articles I’ve read, and provides a link to an archive of all the articles (starting last week). As I write this, if you pop on www.TheSource4Parents.com right now, you’ll find articles about the highly anticipated Hunger Games movie, parents lying to get underaged kids on Facebook, Teens and Sleep, Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction and more.

I hope this is yet another free resource that helps you understand the world of youth culture, connect with teenagers where they are at and engage meaningful conversations.

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Glee Goes All the Way… Again

Posted on: 11/10/11 12:30 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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This week Doug Fields posted an article of mine on his blog encouraging parents to use the “pause button,” the “fast forward button”… and even the “off button” on their TV remotes as they co-view media with kids. Which button does Fox’s Glee require?

This week Glee featured two of the show’s teenage couples each losing their virginity, a homosexual couple (Kurt and Blaine), and a heterosexual couple (Finn and Rachel).

Parents that took time to even notice the show’s content this week are debating the appropriateness. The PTC is outraged (as always), and articles are beginning to emerge asking relevant questions, like this article from Time, What Teen Sex on Glee Really Teaches Kids.

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen Glee address the subject of teenagers losing their virginity. In the 15th episode of Season One, an episode titled “The Power of Madonna,” Glee introduced the same scenario when three couples faced the decision to lose their virginity (the episode was watched by 12.98 million American viewers and was critically acclaimed). After a dream sequence performance of Madonna’s Like a Virgin, two of these teenagers took the plunge and “went all the way” (Finn and Santana), while others didn’t (Rachel, for example).

At this point some parents began questioning whether Glee was appropriate viewing for teens and tweens. Instead of giving a dogmatic stamp of approval or disapproval, I responded with a rather detailed Youth Culture Window article, To Glee or not to Glee, encouraging parents to think biblically about Glee and look for biblical guidance.

Interestingly enough… parents continued to ask me, “Do you let your kids watch Glee?”

That’s a great question.

I’ll be honest. I don’t usually like to tell parents, “Let your kids watch SHOW A, but don’t let your kids watch SHOW B!” This robs parents the opportunity to teach discernment and robs kids the opportunity of learning to discern for themselves.

Yes, there are some shows that clearly necessitate the “off button,” shows like Jersey Shore and Two and a Half Men. But discernment isn’t always that easy. What about shows like American Idol? (a question I asked in the article Doug posted)

Ever since Little House on the Prairie left prime time, teaching discernment has grown a little more difficult during family hour on television. In a world where Two and a Half Men is repeatedly the #1 show of the week, and Jersey Shore is the #1 cable show, caring parents are hard-pressed to find anything appropriate to watch with their kids.

Sadly, I see two polar extremes rise to the surface:

  • The Overly-Permissive Parent—this mom let’s her kids do anything, watch anything, stay out as late as they want… after all, they’ve gotta grow up sometime! “If you’re gonna drink with your friends, do it here! Then at least you’ll be safe!” These kids don’t just watch Jersey Shore, they watch the sexually explicit and gratuitously violent True Blood on HBO. These kids never learn to discern; they are taught the subtle message that “everything’s okay.”
  • The Puritanistic Parent—this mom doesn’t let her kids do anything! No TV, no music (“especially not that Contemporary Christian… the devil’s music!), skirts will go down past the ankles, after all, “This isn’t the house of Jezebel!” These kids don’t watch anything at home… they sneak to their friends houses to watch it! (I listen to the complaints of these kids all the time at camps and conferences across the country!) The puritanistic parent never teaches their kids to discern. They hope that protecting them from the world will save them from it. Sadly, when these kids turn 18, they often rebel and “sew their wild oats.”

Do we have to gravitate toward either of these extremes?

Funny… after Doug posted my article about parents using the remote, we started to see comments and receive emails from parents saying, “Kids are gonna watch what they’re gonna watch!” And then from the opposite end of the spectrum… “The TV stays off at our house!!!”

Are these really our only two choices?

It’s growingly difficult to teach our kids positive media decisions today, and shows like Glee really put the pressure on parents. Young people love the show and hear about it around every corner. After all, it’s very well done and it speaks to their world. Heck… adults love the show! The guest stars are usually a big draw, the writing is compelling and the music is usually amazing. It was the number two show at the 8 o’clock hour again this last Tuesday night. Let’s be honest. It’s difficult to be the only parent at the PTA meeting that doesn’t let their kids watch the show.

So do I cave and let my kids watch it?

Last year, during the writing of my first article, To Glee or Not to Glee, I watched the whole season in about one week’s time (I don’t like to write about something I haven’t seen first hand). During that week my girls would walk in and say, “Oh wow! Is this Glee?!! Can I watch it with you!” I never said “no” to them during that week. We probably watched at least three or four episodes together, often hitting the pause button to dialogue about what we saw.

When Season 2 began, I watched a couple episodes with my wife, curious of the direction that the show would go.

Yes… my kids and I had some great discussions about some of those Season One episodes. Yes, co-viewing media with our kids is a very good practice… but where is the line? Should I rent all the American Pie films and co-view those with my kids?

I’ll make an exception this time and tell you what I decided with Glee. This doesn’t mean it’s the right answer, I’m sure opinions will vary, I can’t even say I’m always consistent…. but as for me, Glee gets the “off button” in our house.

What about you?
What have you decided about Glee?

How do you set realistic guidelines while still preparing our kids for real-world decisions when they’re on their own?

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Overreacting or Interacting about Rihanna’s #1 Song

Posted on: 11/8/11 2:57 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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It’s almost like Rihanna is in the mind of today’s teenage girl, looking for love in a hopeless place. Maybe that’s why her song, We Found Love, is still the #1 song across all the charts (#1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, Nielsen, and on iTunes).

Why is this song connecting with young girls especially? Think about it…

  • Do today’s teenage girls ever feel hopeless? Check.
  • Do they ever enter bad relationships because of low self esteem? Check.
  • In their quest for love and acceptance, do they ever engage in dangerous and risky activities like drinking, doing drugs and having sex? Check. Check. Check.

Rihanna’s new song and video are connecting with a generation that is looking for love in a hopeless place. Sadly, the gratuitously explicit music video (watched by tens of millions) isn’t offering any answers other than hoping the good stuff will numb the bad. Her words?

“And when it’s over and it’s gone, you almost wish you can have all that bad stuff back so that you could have the good.”

If your kids have seen this video, it’s a powerful springboard for discussion. Let me give you a deeper look at what this song and video are communicating.

This video is actually very compelling. In the same way the despondent Solomon cries “meaningless” in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible, Rihanna sounds a cry of desperation through this music video, painting a graphic picture of an unhealthy relationship where two people find each other, make out, do drugs, have sex, do more drugs, lose all their money on a gambling spree, shoplift, fight, have angry sex, do more drugs, give each other tattoos, fight more, break up… and then feel the pain of being alone (lot’s of graphic imagery there).

It’s in this vulnerable aftermath, feeling alone, reflecting back on the relationship that the opening words to this powerful video are spoken by Rihanna… a message of hurt, a cry of desperation, and in this hopeless moment, an admission that she’d almost be willing to go through all that pain and risky behaviors… if she could just feel that temporary comfort of the “good” moments one last time! A real perspective, shared by many no doubt.

The music video opens with Rihanna saying these words:

It’s like screaming and no one can hear

You almost feel ashamed that someone can be that important

And without them you feel like nothing

No one will ever understand how much it hurts

You feel hopeless like nothing can save you

And when it’s over and it’s gone you almost wish you could have all that bad stuff back so that you could have the good.

Two months ago we probably could have sat around speculating whether this video would resonate with a generation of young girls that feel hopeless and are looking for some “good” moments in relationships, in drugs, in sexual activity, in drinking, etc. But fast forward to the present and we have our answer. This generation loves this song. I’d go on a limb to say that people are “connecting” with this song.

Sadly, the answers from this song are “temporary thrills.” The summary of the music video is basically… even though I feel hopeless, empty and in pain, I almost would do it all over again just so I could have those good moments.

This temporary thrills mindset is a great discussion provoker. Last weekend in my Parenting the Texting Generation workshop I told the parents attending, “This is tricky. You really don’t want your kids watching this video, but if they have seen it, it would be wise to not overact, but instead interact with them about what they heard.” Maybe even ask question like:

Is there a love that has more to it than temporary thrills?

Is there a love that doesn’t end in disappointment?

I’m not happy with all the images I see in this video. I’m even more disturbed that this generation relates to this feeling. But I’m hopeful that parents and caring adult role models can respond with “interaction” instead of “over-reaction.”

What about you:

Have your kids seen this video?

Do kids in your community feel like this?

Can you, like Paul in Acts 17, use these words of the “pagan poets” to steer toward a conversation about Christ, teaching Biblical truth?

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“Toast” Gets Toasted

Posted on: 11/6/11 11:36 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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A creative idea is added to our youth ministry web site… and criticism is quick to follow.

Why is it that comment sections breed pessimism and ignorance?  (Yeah… I’m definitely going to rant about this one.)

Here’s the situation. A girl submits a creative and fun game idea to our web site, we add the game to our page… and then a couple people feel that it’s their duty to start criticizing her idea. Not even intelligent criticism.

One of the top pages accessed on our youth ministry web site is our Games & Icebreakers page. Last month that page generated 22,670 page views, mostly youth workers browsing through our database of literally over 1,000 free game and icebreaker ideas. Many youth workers use game & icebreaker ideas like these to “break the ice” (go figure) with kids and open doors for relational ministry.

Yes, I’m aware that some people think that games don’t work.

They are wrong.

Sound dogmatic? Well, here’s the facts. If games are proven to be beneficial in some situations, then one can’t say that they don’t work. The more intelligent statement would be, “Games aren’t the answer for every situation.” Or, “Don’t use games without any purpose in mind.” But don’t incorrectly surmise, “Games don’t work.”

This is nothing new. It’s become trendy to criticize games in the last few years. I’ve written entire articles on this debate (like this one, To Game or Not to Game).

Frankly, I’m tired of the whining.

A few days ago a game idea came in from Sarah-Jane that I thought was creative… it was titled, Toast. Toast is “hot-potato-like” game idea. I liked the idea. My game guru Todd liked the idea. I even showed it to my 16-year-old daughter Alyssa and asked her opinion. She thought it sounded like fun. (She thought it might actually be fun with her friends at a slumber party too.)

The concept is simple. A bunch of people gather around a table with two pieces of toast and an assortment of condiments (ketchup, butter, honey, etc.). You put one piece of toast in the toaster, and while waiting for it to pop up, people take turns adding condiments to the other piece of toast. Keep passing the toast and adding condiments until the other piece pops up. When it pops up… the person with the other piece in front of them has to eat it, with all its creative condiments.

Alyssa (in her creative mind) thought it might even be more fun if you organized the condiments into themes that weren’t so gross. In other words, instead of doing the typical “gross out” youth group game, do a “ice cream toppings” theme with chocolate, caramel, marshmallow topping, rainbow sprinkles, etc. This game could have fun holiday options (Christmas cookie decorations, etc.)

So why criticize it?

One person criticized it for wasting food. I don’t want to get into that debate in this blog. I don’t like wasting food either, but if done right, this game won’t waste food. (They eat the toast)

The ludicrous criticism was this:

I would like to know how this game edifies the church or builds your youth into a better relationship with Jesus?

Sigh.

How is this person going to be pleased with any game?

The fact is, I used games in my outreach ministry for years for pure fun. Yes, for fun! (Fun isn’t sin, you know.) Kids brought their friends and the ministry grew week after week. We shared the Gospel weekly and I saw a ton of kids come to Christ and get plugged into the church through that ministry.

Is that edifying enough for ya?

Last year I volunteered in a local jr. high ministry and had a small group of guys. I remember several weeks playing dodgeball with my guys, laughing and having a great time. This kind of bonding led to great conversations.

Games… done right… open doors for relational ministry.

Nuff said!

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Coming Out of the Bronco Closet

Posted on: 11/3/11 4:17 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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I have a confession to make, a truly awkward one for a California resident. I hope this doesn’t upset all my Packer friends in Green Bay and my Steeler friends in Pittsburgh (no one would hesitate to admit that those two fan-bases are a little fanatical…er… loyal to their teams), or even my many close Raiders fans (seeing that the Raiders and the 49ers are the closest teams to my home). But here goes.  Ahem…

“I am a Bronco fan.”

There. I said it.

I won’t pretend to be something I’m not. I can’t tell you many of the players names, I don’t even get to see every game… but I’ve always been a Bronco’s fan.

At 5-years-old I got my first Broncos jacket. I asked my dad to find me a pic of me in my little Broncos jacket and he sent me this:This picture reveals three things:

1. Me and Dad’s rockin’ hair-dews!
2. My love for food even as a child
3. My love for the Broncos (back when Craig Morton was #7. Yeah baby!!!)

This weekend I fly to Colorado, preach the morning services at a church in Colorado Springs, break for the Broncos game, and then do my parenting workshop that night from 6-8. We originally were going to do the workshop in the afternoon but then found out that the Broncos were playing that day. Competing with that would be like doing a workshop during the Canucks game when I’m speaking to my friends North of the border!

I love that the Broncos nabbed Tim Tebow. Regardless of your opinion of his football skills, you probably wouldn’t argue that he is a man of integrity, a true role model for young athlete’s today. Pray that he throws long and straight!

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Secure Enough to Not Be Sexy

Posted on: 11/2/11 10:33 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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My girls made me proud Monday night. They were secure enough in themselves to not be sexy. That’s a pretty bold move in a world where sexy is becoming the norm.

Halloween is one of those times where the pressure is on young girls to be sexy. If you don’t believe me, just Google “teenage Halloween costumes” and click on the first thing you see. I just did. Rows upon rows of the same, like the “Supergirl” costume pictured here (I’ve ranted about this before, girls are being pressured to dress too sexy too soon).

Well, this year my girls opted out of “sexy.” (More on that in a minute.)

We’re witnessing the symptoms of a society that values “sexuality” over other characteristics. It’s what the American Psychological Association defines as “sexualization.”

It starts with the normal feelings of insecurity.

“Am I pretty enough?”

“Do I measure up?”

These are the questions young girls ask themselves when they look in the mirror, touching up make-up, running the flat iron through their hair that one last time trying to make it perfect.  Any father of teen and tween girls has witnessed this. Even the most beautiful of today’s young girls often struggle with feelings of “too fat,” “too much acne,” “boobs too small”…

Enter “sexualization” stage left.

Sexualization is the media’s solution to insecurity. It works like this: guys notice me when I’m overtly sexual (low tops, short shorts, provocative in words and action), and being noticed is what I want, right?

It’s normal for young girls to want to be noticed. It’s up to parents to teach their daughters what is truly valuable.

This past weekend Lori and I went costume shopping with our girls. Have you been costume shopping lately? Today’s teenage girls don’t want to be a pumpkin or a clown. Costume retailers know that sexy is in. Skirts need to be short and tops need to be alluring.  That’s where my kids stepped away from the norm. I became aware of that fact the moment they asked me where to shop for their costumes. “Dad, can we go to the thrift store?”

This year my girls decided to be sweet little old ladies.

It was actually pretty fun shopping for “old lady” costumes. Alyssa (on the right) found the perfect “crafty” sweater and Ashley (on the left) the perfect comfy pants that went up past her belly button. Some glasses and ultimate comfy shoes… and whalah! Sweet little old ladies.

It will be interesting to see what our future holds. Will “sexy” stay the norm? Or will young people eventually grow numb and look for something else? A lot depends on the frequency and depth of the conversations that take place between kids and their parents or caring adult role models.

Hmmmmmm.

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Facebook… or Jersey Shore?

Posted on: 11/1/11 3:48 PM | by Jonathan McKee

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How well do you know your teenagers?

For example, if you asked them, “What would you rather give up, T.V. or internet.” Which would they choose?

Is their answer… the answer? Many kids (including the majority of young people across the pond) would be quick to respond, “We’d rather lose T.V.!” Interestingly enough, their actions might not exactly be matching their words if “time spent” is any indicator.

It’s a question I continue to ask parents. I’ll ask it again in my parenting workshop this weekend in Colorado Springs and I guarantee you that over 90% of them will get the answer wrong. I’ll ask, “What do today’s teenagers spend more time doing, browsing the internet or watching TV?” The truth always shocks them.

The answer is still TV, by a long shot. It has been for a while. The newest reports from Nielson give us a peek at the hours per week/month kids are spending watching TV and browsing the internet. Here’s one of the tables from the newest Nielson Cross Platform Report: (free registration required)

Notice how low those internet numbers are for 12-17-year-olds. (So low, in fact that I contacted them and asked them why. I’m so meticulous it’s irritating at times.) Don’t get me wrong… the numbers are close, especially as you start to look at the 18-year-olds. If you really want to hash out specifics, read this article I wrote this summer where I go through some of those numbers of the last report like this in great detail.

For those who just want the broad strokes… just know this: kids are spending hours online, and even more hours on TV. And since 91% of U.S. homes now pay for television, they aren’t just watching broadcast shows, they’re watching cable in a big way. (You can jump on Nielson’s Top 10 TV ratings page on any given week and look to see what ruled the previous week. The week of October 17th, Jersey Shore was the #2 Cable show under NFL on ESPN. The week of October 24th NFL stayed on top and AMC’s Walking Dead took the #2 spot.)

Why is it important to know this?

As a parent we should know what our kids are watching and what their friends are watching. Don’t be like so many parents that just let their kids watch whatever they want.

As a youth worker we should know what mainstream kids are watching so we know what kind of teaching they’re receiving throughout the week. If they’re bathing in Jersey Shore and Two and a Half Men each week, we might want to really think about talking about sex more than once a year!

Do you know what your kids are watching?

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Why Are Teenagers Really Having Less Sex?

Posted on: 10/31/11 11:25 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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Last week I wrote a “Youth Culture Window” article on a subject I would earmark as very important, Are Teenagers Really Having Less Sex? And How to Continue This Trend. The interesting part of this whole study is the fact that no one knows why teenagers are having less sex. What’s your theory?

Here’s the situation. If you read the article– and I encourage you to take 5 minutes and do so– you’ll see that sexual activity has gone down from the late 1980’s to 2002ish. Since then… no statistically significant change (a fact overlooked by most the headlines). So the question I asked the CDC, the “National Campaign,” and Pam Stenzel’s ministry is this:

In a country where media is growing more gratuitously sexual and porn is ubiquitous, why are less teenagers having sex?

Then I asked this follow-up question:

And at the same time that sex is decreasing, why do STD’s seem to be either growing, or at least more apparant?

I posted my two cents and the opinions of the experts I interviewed in the artcicle. I’d love you to give the article a quick read and then chime in with your two cents- what you’ve observed- using the articles comments feature.

Your thoughts?

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Top 10 Scary Movies I’d Actually Show Teenagers- PART II

Posted on: 10/28/11 10:54 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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Yesterday I kicked off the first 5 of my Top 10 List of films that I’d actually feel comfortable showing my teenagers. Yesterday I gave you the first five; today you get five more.

I don’t know what the fascination is with scary films, but they really intrigue this generation. As a kid I really liked scary stories. Scary movies… even better. I remember watching Jaws when I was about 10 and I couldn’t sleep for several nights. My parents vowed to never let me watch scary films again… so I watched them at my friends’ houses!

This generation seems no different. When the top grossing film of the weekend last weekend was Paranormal Activity 3… that tells us something.

So if young people are going to watch scary, it would be nice to at least have some clean options. Here’s the remaining 5 from my Top 10 list.

The Next 5 Scary Movies I’d Actually Show Teenagers

(WARNING: Again, as I mentioned yesterday, please don’t just read the titles below, rent the film and show it at youth group. You will be fired! There are several of these that I would not show at youth group- but I would co-watch with certain teenagers. So read my description and my linked review carefully, then view the film yourself, using your discernment.)

Devil—(Directed by John Erick Dowdle and Drew Dowdle). I’ll start my list off with a dooooozie. Yes, the title of this film is “Devil.” Does that mean it’s inappropriate to watch? Good question. The film opens with the scripture verse, “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. – 1 Peter 5:8” When I first heard about this film, I thought, “No way.” Personally, I don’t like films about demon possession, mediums, etc… because it’s very real! (I shared a little about my view on this here). But after a few friends told me about the film, and once I discovered that it was written by M. Night Shyamalan, I decided to take a peek… and I’m glad I did. The film has little to do with the paranormal, instead it’s more of an Agatha Christie-esque “And Then There Were None” where people are being murdered one at a time and it’s up to you to figure out who is doing it. The writing is amazing, the acting is brilliant, and the film delivers some great jumps. Spooky, thought provoking, and it will keep you on the edge of your chair the whole film!

I Am Legend—(Directed by Francis Lawrence) This is the one “Zombie-esque” film that will actually make it onto this list (although 28-Days Later is an amazing film, but just a little too intense for me to actually recommend for teenagers). Will Smith proves his amazing acting ability in this film, evidencing that he is much more than your proverbial action star. Humankind is almost entirely wiped out, and New York City is seemingly empty except for the zoo animals that run about. But then the sun sets… and it’s a whole different story. Amazing film, clean, suspenseful… and it will even put a lump in your throat a few times.

Psycho—(Directed by Alfred Hitchcock) An amazing film by the master of suspense. The film is tame by today’s standards, but still has some pretty mature themes. This is not a film I’d show to youth group, but one I’d watch with my own teenagers. This 1960 film probably needs no explanation, but if you haven’t seen it in a while, I think you’ll find the dialogue pleasantly surprising and captivating. This film is so much more than the “acclaimed” shower scene, a great mystery overall.

Book of Eli—(Directed by the Hughs brothers) Okay, I admit, this film would not typically be thought of as a scary film, but I’m including it on my list because of its frightening premise. Nothing is scarier than a post-apocalyptic survival situation, and that’s exactly the world that Eli lives in. In this R-rated film you’ll see swords chopping off limbs and some intense survival fight scenes (including an implied rape). Scary stuff… a scary world indeed. In the midst of this world is a man named Eli who is carrying the last copy of the Bible across the country to safety. Some great discussion scenes, including the one where the Eli’s nemesis Carnegie talks about the great power of the Bible, and the scene where Eli finally concludes, “All the years I’ve been carrying it and reading it every day…I got so caught up with keeping it safe I forgot to live by what I learned from it..” (We provided a piece of curriculum with small group questions and scripture using that scene).

The Sixth Sense—(directed by M. Night Shyamalan) This spooky little piece is the film that put M. Night Shyamalan on the map. This film is very creepy—not for those easily frightened. It does raise questions about the dead and where they go after they die. Some people might think that this film deals too much with paranormal activity. If you think that’s a slippery slope, then you shouldn’t watch this. But the film is very well made, very clean, and is made by a director who always seems to be looking for spiritual answers.

What about you? Any films you’d include in this list? Any films that you might have shown teenagers… and regretted it?

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Top 10 Scary Movies I’d Actually Show Teenagers

Posted on: 10/27/11 9:34 AM | by Jonathan McKee

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Tis the season to be… scary?

First, let me come right out and admit that I’m not against dressing up on the 31st of this month, collecting candy and bobbing for apples. If you’re offended by this stuff, I’m sorry (I’ll try not to eat from my bowl full of Snickers bars in front of you).

Yes, there are a few frustrating things about this holiday, probably the biggest being the incredible shrinking size of young girls’ costumes (as a dad of two teenage daughters that really bugs me). It’s also intriguing to see the curiosity young people have toward things paranormal. But those elements aside, I still think that young people, families and youth ministries can have good clean fun on Halloween. For me personally… I love popping some popcorn and sitting down to a fun, scary movie.

The question is, are there any quality scary movies that don’t include gratuitous shots of naked teenagers getting slashed up at a slumber party? In other words… any appropriate scary movies that we can actually show to teenagers?

Top 5 Scary Movies I’d Actually Show Teenagers
(I’ll list the next 5 tomorrow)

(WARNING: Please don’t just read the titles below, rent the film and show it at youth group. You will be fired! There are several of these that I would not show at youth group- but I would co-watch with certain teenagers. So read my description and my linked review carefully, then view the film yourself, using your discernment.)

Signs— (directed by M. Night Shyamalan) This is one of my favorite films overall, so it’s a cinch to nab a spot on my top 10 scary list. This movie, starring Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix is about a small farming family that wakes up to discover 500 foot crop circles in their backyard. After these crop circles begin appearing all over the globe, the world soon fears invasion from another world. Don’t let the premise mislead you, the film is anything but corny. In fact, it’s quite deep, with some scenes that will springboard some fantastic discussion. We actually provide an entire curriculum with small group discussion questions and a Bible passage on our web site.

Jaws—(directed by Stephen Spielberg)  Another of my film favorites. I always find it funny to see the expression on someone’s face when I tell them it’s one of my favorites. I can tell when it’s someone who either hasn’t seen it, or hasn’t seen it in a couple decades and remembers that phony looking mechanical shark from Universal Studios and the sequels, which pale by comparison. Do not be fooled, the first film is amazing, hardly showing the shark at all. Spielberg probably scared more people with this film than almost any film in history. I think of the film every time I get in the ocean. If you haven’t seen it in a while, you should turn out the lights, turn up the volume so you can hear John Williams Oscar-winning score, and be ready to be pleasantly intrigued. The best scene is without a doubt Quint’s story about the sinking of the USS Indianapolis. I still show that scene to illustrate good storytelling in my 10-Minute Talks workshop. I like to show this film to teenagers on what I call a “Dive-in Movie Night” where they all watch the film… in a pool!

The Exorcism of Emily Rose—(directed by Scott Derickson) I debated including this on my list simply because, I wouldn’t show this to all teenagers. So give me a moment to plead my case. First, this is a film directed by a Christian filmmaker who loves to use his films to provoke discussion (Here’s my interview with him about the film). The film is really about a court case that eventually argues, does God exist? The premise, based on a true story, uses the scary events of an exorcism gone wrong to stimulate questions about the afterlife. I wouldn’t show this film to my daughters because it would be too frightening. The film is terrifying. But for those parents and youth workers whose kids are the type that frequent movies like the current Paranormal Activity 3 that just raked in $54 million at the box office last weekend, this film would be perfect. It’s clean, it’s grounded in truth, and asks all the right questions.

Super 8—(directed by JJ Abrams) Maybe it’s because I’m 41-years-old and I remember watching films like Goonies and E.T. in the theatres as a young boy, maybe it’s just because I like good film making… but Super 8 delivered a great story, lovable characters and plenty of jumps in this nostalgic film about a group of friends in 1979 who witness a catastrophic train crash and begin to notice inexplicable events in their small town. Great film, totally clean (except for the language that was pretty realistic for the kids of that time), only PG-13 for the sci-fi action and violence.

Ghost and the Darkness—(directed by Stephen Hopkins) This film (which has nothing to do with ghosts) is based on the chilling true story of two lions in Africa that killed 130 people in a nine month period. In the spirit of Jaws, and Alien, the director cleverly chose to not show the lions for much of the film, instead, just the horror of surprise and the fear of what lurks in the dark. Val Kilmer, Michael Douglas, Tom Wilkinson… not too shabby. This 1996 film delivers all around! (Completely appropriate for teenagers. I’d show this film to youth group kids with no hesitation.)

5 More Tomorrow

What about you? Any scary films you like to show your teenagers? Any films you showed…and then regretted?

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