Parents Publicly Shame Daughter

We’ve all been in that awkward situation where we witness a parent publicly discipline or even shame their kid.

How far is too far?

This CNN News report reveals one couple’s approach to disciplining their teenager:

(click here if you don’t see the embedded video)

So what do you think? Was this too much? Why? What did you notice? What should have the parents done?

About Jonathan McKee

president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices, If I Had a Parenting Do Over, 52 Ways to Connect with Your Smartphone Obsessed Kid; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He has over 20 years youth ministry experience and speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers and parents on his websites, TheSource4YM.com and TheSource4Parents.com. You can follow Jonathan on his blog, getting a regular dose of youth culture and parenting help. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.
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10 Responses to Parents Publicly Shame Daughter

  1. Danielle says:

    I don’t really see how that’s teaching her the right way, or how to follow in God’s path. I don’t see that she’s learning anything other than to hate her parents…there has to be another way. It reminds me of the man who had to wear a sign on a street corner for 7 days claiming he was a cheater.

  2. Mary says:

    I understand the parents’ frustration but I don’ t think that is going to do anything but alienate their daughter against them. It was more an act of revenge on their part. The sad thing is, it undermines the truth that parents should have freedom in teaching their kids right from wrong. This kind of action causes the public to want to legislate parenting and/or take away God-given parental rights. Think about how schools are already going over parents’ heads to give out birth control and/or abortifacients to kids “in the best interest of the child.” Or, parents feel like they are going to get locked up for giving an unruly child a swat on the backside. It is the way we are heading.

  3. jeff smith says:

    It doesn’t feel right. I don’t think I could do it. But then my girls are really good & respectful. They are not perfect, but not the problems these parents are facing. I guess at some point you have to use extreme measures. We don’t know the whole story. But it does seem harsh.

    Jonathan, would love to know what you think.

  4. dan manns says:

    ephesians 6:4 “and fathers do not provoke your children to wrath…”
    i understand that these parents are frustrated and at their wits end; however this extreme type of punishment will do nothing more than push their daughter over the edge and embolden her to more of the same type of behavior. her resentment towards her mom and dad will breed more bad attitude and rebellious behavior. i believe in disciplining your children but the punishment should fit the crime. and this “cruel and unusual punishment” doesn’t fit – IMHO. i appreciate the parents’ effort – the dad taking the day off of work and the mother willing to take the time to administer the sentence. it shows that they obviously care and are willing to put work into their parenting. But perhaps a little wisdom on the issue could help these beleaguered duo. i would recommend that they read a book on parenting like “Grace based parenting” or “Confessions of an imperfect parent”!!

  5. Rodney Wright says:

    Using public humiliation is in no way a productive way to discipline your child. This will just further the distance in there relationship and promote bad behavior.
    I think the parents should have to hold up their on sign “I’m STUPID”

  6. William Martin says:

    I understand the parents frustration and applaud them for at least doing something however I am afraid that they are not looking in the right direction. I can’t completely know the whole situation because the only thing I know about the family is what is in the video but based on what I saw and my 20+ years of working in ministry with troubled kids this is my speculation. I think that the parents (by the mothers own admission) have no idea how to show love to their daughter and still discipline her. They are doing this out of frustration and anger and the sad part of it is the whole reason for the girl doing these things is probably because of the way her parents treat her. I don’t think the parents would ever purposely hurt their daughter but they are doing it without knowing it. There is no compassion in either parents voice in the video they are only angry and frustrated. If the parents are willing to get biblical counseling for themselves and look at what part they played in their daughter going to such extremes along with the daughter getting counseling then this situation could be turned around for good but having her wear a sign at this point is just reinforcing her feeling that her parents do not love her. These are not bad parents they just need some help and guidance and hopefully someone in their area will see the video and step up and help them. But know this unless WE ALL as parents are willing to look at ourselves and the part we play in our kids actions they will stay stuck in whatever rut they may be in. There may be a few people out there that have done everything right and their kids have still gone down a bad road but I have not met them yet and I have been involved with thousands of troubled kids and their families over the years. Also know that just because we have contributed to our kids struggles it does not mean that we are a bad parent.

  7. MsJohnson says:

    “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” I think that’s how the saying goes. At any rate I think the parents reacted out of their desperation to save their daughter. And sometimes when we are desperate we make decisions that we would normally not make, but I won’t criticize these parents. Their daughters behavior is dangerous! She might hate her parents for this, or she could get pregnant, get a disease, get hooked on drugs, or end up in jail, or all of the above. She’s sneaking boys into their house and doing experimenting with drugs! She has already crossed the line (in my opinion) and her relationship with her parents was obviously already damaged when she contiued to defy them and push them to that point. Criticism against these parents should only come from parents who have experienced the same problem with a teenager and and actually have a real success story to compare it too! Hopefully the family can get the help they need!

  8. Aaron Helman says:

    Honestly, my heart broke for this family when I read this. However, the most unbelievable part is that they consented to be on camera and to do a television interview. That part is the thing that has to exacerbate everything.