Baptist Pick-up Lines

Some of you might be familiar with a little Christian publication called the Wittenburg Door. (I warn you- They have always been a little edgy… ) 

I almost fell out of my chair with some of their “Hardcore Baptist Pick-up Lines.”

A few of them:

I’m sure glad your mama was pro-life.

Let’s go back to my place—I’ve got the complete VeggieTales.

Baby, you’re like a burning bush. I feel like Moses, all I want is a glimpse of the Promised Land.

You look like the whore of Babylon—and I mean that in a good way.

You look like Ruth from the Bible. She was a Christian—at least she would have been if she was born a few hundred years later. Are you a Christian? Because I only court Christians, and I’m very interested in courting you if your father says it’s okay.

Hey, babe, if you were the mission, then I’d be a missionary.

The whole list is here… (some a little too irreverant for my taste)

About Jonathan McKee

president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of over twenty books including the brand new The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices, If I Had a Parenting Do Over, 52 Ways to Connect with Your Smartphone Obsessed Kid; and the Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket. He has over 20 years youth ministry experience and speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers and parents on his websites, and You can follow Jonathan on his blog, getting a regular dose of youth culture and parenting help. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.
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4 Responses to Baptist Pick-up Lines

  1. Todd says:

    Fantastic…another Baptist joke…I feel like a blonde rabbi who just walked into a bar.

    Can I get some love from my Baptist brothers and sisiters?!?!?

  2. Matt Furby says:

    Some of those are hilarious. I personally like the Promised Land one. So stupid, yet a definite giggle-insighter. I checked out the link to the rest of the list. Wowsers. The comments are just sick.

  3. Shannon says:

    Terrifying comments! :p

  4. Tonya Berry says:

    Much love from your Bapticostal sistah.


    What about Pentecostal/Charismatic ones?

    Those might go over well.

    Baby, meetin’ you made me forget that I shouldaboughtaHonda!

    Let yo’ hair down and let yo’ worship flag fly, girlfriend!

    …….I’ll work on ’em…..